I told you I would update more quickly! See, I'm not a filthy rotten liar.

Also, about the language thing, I just have to say it was hilarious! Some people came up with some, ummm, let's just say interesting guesses. But more people were correct than I thought there would be. Here's the count:

Portuguese- 3. German- 1. Italian- 2. Russian- 1.

Also, one person also gave me a personal message because they had already reviewed the chapter, saying the language was Canadian. I won't say any names but, cough cough, someone really needs some help. Canadian?(sniggers

But, SIX of you wonderful people were right, the language was Gaelic! It was Scottish Gaelic though, not Irish Gaelic.

Kudos for you!

Bella's POV:

The shape paused for a moment, then slowly crept towards me, noiselessly.

I inhaled sharply.

A shape in the darkness. Coming towards me.

I couldn't even hear it breathing.

It seemed like a nightmare.

Maybe it was…

I clenched my hands, feeling my fingernails press painfully against my palms, confirming what I had vaguely known all along.

This was no dream…

I struggled further back towards the wall, trying in vain to put more space between myself and the intruder.

Who was it?

Why was he, or she, here?

I inhaled sharply, opening my mouth to scream.

The shadow seemed to move with blinding speed, before I knew what had happened, I felt an iron hand clamped over my mouth, blocking my last hope for help. I struggled wildly, thrashing against the shape, entangling myself in my sheets.

Swinging my arm hysterically, I managed to catch my assailant directly in the stomach.

He didn't even flinch.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down, it's just me, Edward!" I immediately stopped fighting as I recognized his velvet voice, earnestly trying to quiet me. He slowly removed his hand from my mouth, and I glared at his shadowed face.

"It's the middle of the night, Edward!" My voice sounded strange. "Wait! What are you doing in my room?"

I glared at him, wanting answers for his inexplicable breaking and entering. He shifted uncomfortably, apparently not having an answer. I wiggled myself out of my entangled sheets, switching on the lamp near by bed.

I blinked rapidly as bright light suddenly filled the room. Closing my eyes, I waited impatiently for them to adjust to the glow. Finally, I looked up at Edward, annoyed and slightly scared.

What is he doing here?

His beautiful face was worried, illuminated by the sudden light.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

I rolled my eyes at his obnoxious statement. "Edward! What do you mean well what? It's the middle of the night! You're in my bedroom! There is no what about this situation!" I didn't admit it to him, but the only reason I was so annoyed was probably because he had scared me. Secretly, I felt inexplicably glad that he was with me.

Abruptly, another thought occurred to me. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long."

I glared at him. His eyes were too wide, too earnest to possibly be telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help him God.

I simply stared at him in stony silence, silently conveying my blatant disbelief. His face looked more insecure than I have ever seen it. Even when we were in the hospital and I was confessing, even though he had looked worried then, he was still calm. Collected. This was probably the first time I've ever seen him unsettled, fumbling for words.

"Okay. I've been here a while."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"No more well whats Edward! Why are you in my room in the middle of the night?" I was practically yelling now, angry at his innocent façade. Did he honestly think I was gullible enough to fall for that?

"Shhh. Charlie is here you know."

I looked expectantly at him, feeling annoyed, scared, and confused at the same time.

When my silence continued, Edward finally sighed, apparently unconsciously coming to a decision.

"I was just staying with you. I was worried, after what happened today."

"I've been sleeping alone for the past seventeen years Edward. I'm perfectly fine. Why would tonight be any different?" Wow. That was a half good lie.

For some reason, Edward's perfect lips quirked up slightly, as if he was enjoying some private joke. Angry, I began my Spanish Inquisition once again. "Do you feel no urge to sleep yourself or something?"

Again, Edward's face was lit up by a crooked smile that almost took my breath away. But I was coherent enough to be annoyed that he was quite obviously enjoying more than one joke at my expense.

Huffing, I sat inelegantly back down on my bed, glaring up at his perfect face. Almost hesitantly, he moved to the other side of the room, seating himself in my old rocking chair. It squeaked as he sat, and we both winced, straining to make sure Charlie continued to sleep.

"I really was just worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"So you broke into my house, came into my room at night and watched me sleep because you wanted to make sure I was alright?" He didn't answer, avoiding my eyes. "Edward! You can't just not answer me! Why are you here? Even if you were worried, couldn't you just check from outside? And why did you stay once you knew I was fine? And why aren't you asleep yourself?"

"I'm not tired, I slept earlier today. Like I said before, I wanted to make sure you're alright."

"There's more to it than that Edward, and I know it. You helped me today, and I'm really grateful, but we hardly know each other and the next thing I know I wake up and find a strange person in my room in the middle of the night!"

"That's why you're mad, isn't it? I scared you?" I stared into his eyes, surprised by his correct assumption. He looked back at me, his eyes pleading. "I'm sorry I scared you Bella. I didn't think you would wake up. I didn't mean to frighten you."

I shifted my gaze to the tangled sheets, a blush mantling my cheeks. Suddenly, Edward was beside me, his cold hand on my shoulder. "You shouldn't be embarrassed to be afraid Bella. And you shouldn't be embarrassed about yourself. I know we hardly know each other, and you might not even think we're friends, but I would like to be. Very much."

Startled, I looked into his honey eyes, seeing concern, but also a hint of something else. Was it guilt? Doubt?

I smiled at him, suddenly feeling the strong urge to cry. He wanted to be my friend. He liked me. I looked down to hide my revealing face, when I finally spoke, my voice had a slight edge of a tremor in it. "I'd like to be friends too, Edward. But next time you want to see me, just don't do it during the middle of the night after breaking into my house." I put a weak joke into my speech, hoping to alleviate the tense atmosphere. It worked. He laughed softly, pulling his hand from my shoulder.

I looked back up at him, frowning as another question came to me.

"What is it?"

I looked at him in puzzlement. "How did you break in Edward? It's kind of a long jump from the tree to my window. And it was locked."

"It wasn't locked." I looked at him, skeptical. I had been certain I locked it. "And the jump isn't that far. At least, not for someone who can walk across a flat surface without tripping. I wouldn't recommend it for you."

I scowled at him, annoyed at his casually teasing reference to my balance issues. "Don't be mad Bella. I'm just stating a fact." I rolled my eyes, standing up in the process.

"What time is it?"

He glanced quickly at his watch, and back up to me. "It's two."

"In the morning?"

"No, Bella, in the afternoon."

I rolled my eyes again, but grinned. I had to admit, even to myself, that my question had been quite far into the realm of stupidity. He chuckled at my odd expression, standing up himself.

"I suppose I should leave… We do have school tomorrow, after all."

I groaned as I thought about it, completely unwilling to return to the realm of high school hell. He sniggered at my reaction as I turned off the light and yanked my door open. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I listened for Charlie's telltale snores, relaxing slightly as we finally reached the front door.

Opening it, I looked at Edward, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Then, time seemed to almost stop.

He was smiling as well, such a beautiful, devastating smile. His eyes were so dazzling, his pale face seemed to be illuminated. I stared at him, and he suddenly seemed to become aware of that fact.

His expression unexpectedly turned nervous, as if he was having some inner turmoil, debating with himself. Apparently, one side won, because he slowly started leaning towards me.

I couldn't breathe as his cool hand gently pulled a stray strand of hair out of my face, my eyes were fixated on his own butterscotch ones. Carefully he leaned forward, pausing when his god-like face was just inches from my own. Finally he gently pressed his icy lips against mine, his cold hand falling down to my shoulder.

It was amazing.

His perfect lips were chilly, but soft against my own, unmoving. His gentle but firm hand was placed on my shoulder, carefully holding me.

I didn't move, didn't try to deepen the kiss. I was surprised that he was doing this, and absolutely amazed that he had chosen me to do it with. He was so perfect, so beautiful. Strong, but caring, gentlemanly almost in a turn of the century way. I was pretty, but there was no way I deserved an angel like him.

He held me, softly kissing me in front of my open door, at two o'clock in the morning.

It was strange, almost.

But it was bliss.

Asking him what he was doing.

His arms on me.

Asking him again.

Yelling for him to stop.

Yelling for help.

Someone, anyone???

Please, stop.

His arms, pinning me against the rough concrete wall.

My arms and head, bruised from impact.

Struggling.

I am too weak.

His strong arms wrapped around me, not allowing me to escape.

Pain.

His smile.

Leering.

Smug.

My panic, cold terror.

His strength.

My weakness.

Someone, anyone help please???

My echoes, coming back to me.

I am cold I am weak.

I am trapped.

I am alone……

I didn't deserve Edward. I didn't deserve to even pretend I deserved him.

I didn't feel scared of him in the same way I felt scared of other boys who had tried to be close to me. I realized that I almost loved him. For all I barely knew him.

But, he didn't know the truth. He didn't know that I was tainted, unclean, impure. He had no idea what had happened to me.

I was an awful person.

He had told me that I deserved protection. But I couldn't bring myself to believe him.

He may hate me once I told him. Because I would have to tell him. He didn't deserve to not know. He didn't deserve not know what had happened to me, that I wasn't such a wonderful person as he believed.

I didn't deserve him.

And he certainly deserved more than me.

And I came to this complete conclusion, all in the time period of our soft kiss. Our soft kiss that I would give anything to repeat.

Tears sprang into my eyes and I pulled away from him. His face wasn't surprised, but his eyes clearly showed hurt.

"I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have done that. It was very improper of me." I just stared at him, silent tears falling down my cheeks.

I loved him. I wanted him. But I didn't deserve him. And he would hate me once he knew, surely.

"I knew I didn't deserve you…" His voice was such a faint mutter that I'm certain he didn't mean for me to hear it. His face was so sad, so agonized, that my heart twisted.

Why couldn't I let myself love him? Why couldn't I let us be together?

I thought about forgetting about my past, thought about just starting new.

But a familiar wave of self hate, of self disgust swept through me. I was dirty. And I hated myself. If I didn't love myself, how could anyone ever even bring themselves to love me?

I choked back wild sobs as more tears started falling down my face.

"No Edward. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. I- I just don't. You… you shouldn't like me."

"Isabella." I looked at him, surprised. I think that was the first time I had really ever heard him say my full name like that. "How can you possibly not deserve me? I'm the one that shouldn't belong to anyone. You deserve someone, Bella. Not me. How can you even think you're not good enough?" His voice sounded almost angry. "You haven't been here for that long, but I know you Bella. You deserve almost anything."

His face was so sincere, so earnest. And even yet, as I heard those wonderful words, I knew they were a lie. I lie I couldn't bring myself to believe.

"No, Edward. You- you don't know me as well as you think you do. You shouldn't like me." My voice was strangled, and I tried to hold back another wave of tears. Looking at Edward, his beautiful face was sad, tortured, but also confused. I gave him one last sorrowful glance. His eyes bored into my own, pleading.

I unsuccessfully choked back another sob, and quickly closed the door, directly in his face.

I had just shut my angel, the best thing that had ever happened to me, out of my life.

No.

I waited in complete silence, listening for the sound of an engine pulling away. After a few minutes when I heard nothing, I yanked open the door, almost expecting Edward to still be standing there, his beautiful face silhouetted against the darkness.

He was gone.

Stepping outside, I looked around. There was no car, no Edward, no sign that he had ever even been here at all.

I felt warm tears slide down my face. I leaned against the rough siding of the house, letting myself sink to the ground.

He was gone.

And he would probably never come back.

He would hate me now. He would hate that I had rejected him, then slammed the door in his face. He had helped me so much, cared so much, and I had turned him away.

But he would despise me once he knew the truth about me anyhow.

Why was life so cruel? So terribly, coldly cruel?

The porch was cold beneath me, and I leaned my head against the wall. Desolation filled me, pulling me into the darkness that I had strived so hard to avoid.

I knew I had to turn him away, for his own sake. So he didn't hate me even more when he learned how I was. What had happened to me. I just didn't know that turning him away would be so hard. I hadn't realized how much it would tear me apart, how much it would kill me.

Finally, giving into the misery that filled me, I let my sobs out. I let myself cry, let myself hate the world and all it's coldness. I looked out into the night, into the darkness.

The sky was cloudy, obscured by a hazy fog.

No moon.

I sunk into my misery, my self hate. I cried again, for the second time this day. But this time, it wasn't out of shock or relief. It was caused by pure, unadulterated pain. Desperation.

I just cried. Cried, hoping that in some way, somehow, my bitter tears would lessen the torture, the misery, the utter desolation that filled my world like an endless ocean; threatening to drag me down into its black, icy depths.

I think that was the most depressing chapter so far, do you agree?

Some of you also told me that you were having trouble reviewing for the chapter, it was saying that you had already reviewed. That happened because I erased my Author's Note that used to be chapter six and loaded my new chapter, and something got messed up. Anyways, I think it should be back to normal now.

I'll give you a prize if anyone knows this language. I'm more confident that people won't, this time.

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Seul Lune