Chapter 10 – Settled

Kagome had trouble sleeping after Inuyasha's behavior. She felt as if her whole world had changed drastically, after he obviously pushed her away, figuratively and physically. She knew better than to go to his room, like the previous night, not wanting to be rejected again. She let out a defeated sigh and did her best to get some sleep.

She woke up the next morning to an empty house. She made breakfast and ate alone, trying her best to stay put and wait for Inuyasha to return, until Sango appeared at the front door with her children in tow.

"Good morning, Kagome", she said with a smile.

"Morning, Sango. Hi girls", Kagome answered, trying her best to look content.

"Where's Inuyasha?"

"I… don't know. I came home last night and he was already sleeping in Shippo's room. I woke up today and he was gone. I don't know where he is or what he's doing, but I have a feeling something's wrong."

Sango told her daughters to go play outside while putting her son on the main room's futon. She walked to the table and sat in front of her friend. "He did seem strange last night… did he say anything?"

"No… like I told you, he was sleeping when I came home… even though he doesn't usually sleep early. I think he was trying to avoid me."

"What do you think happened last night?"

"I'm pretty sure I know what happened, even though I have no confirmation", Kagome said, looking down at the table.

"Kikyo?"

"Yes", Kagome said, looking at her hands. "There's really no other explanation to this sudden change in him. Besides, he was a little irritated and distant after I saw them that other day. I just don't know what's going on between them and I hate it", she said with an anger Sango had never seen before in her.

"Don't go thinking the worst just yet. There might be a reason for him be meeting her. And maybe he's been acting like that because he's upset that she's always showing up and making him feel bad."

Kagome snorted. "I hardly think so. And that's what's bugging me, I can't think of a good reason for him to be acting so strange. I know I have to talk to him, but how can I, if he clearly doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Just give him some time and try again. In the mean time, try occupying your mind with something else, instead of sitting and waiting for him to come back. Why don't you go train with Miroku?"

"Yes, I think I should. I'll go talk to him. Thank you, Sango, you really helped", Kagome said with a sincere smile.

Kagome found Miroku in Kaede's hut and told him she would like to train some more. He readily agreed and went to a clearing in the forest with her, afraid they might startle the villagers. Kagome managed to take her mind off Inuyasha and concentrated on her barriers, making progress in her training. Miroku praised her and they went to his hut to have lunch with Sango and the kids.

When they were finishing off their meal, Inuyasha appeared at the door. Kagome looked at him for a second, gave him a small, fake smile, and then turned to her bowl, without saying anything.

"Kagome, can I talk to you?"

Kagome looked up at him and nodded. She said her goodbyes and left the hut beside Inuyasha, walking to their house, not touching each other. She could see from the corner of her eye that he was glancing her way occasionally, but preferred to remain quiet.

Arriving at the house, they sat on the futon of the main room, maintaining a safe distance, and Kagome was looking at the floor, waiting for Inuyasha to start speaking, dreading whatever it was he had to say.

"Kagome, I'm sorry."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "What for?"

"You know, for being awkward last night and leaving this morning without saying anything."

"Oh, okay." She decided to not ask any questions, waiting to see if he would say something willingly.

"I… met Kikyo last night."

Kagome felt the familiar pain in her heart and gulped. This can't be good. "And?"

"And we talked. She said she wanted to see if I had gotten better… I told her I was fine. Then she asked me if I wanted to go with her. I said no."

Kagome suppressed a sigh of relief. "And then?"

"Well, I… don't know, exactly. I have to be honest… She hugged me. I don't know for how long, I guess I was just too surprised to see her hugging me. But then I pulled away and told her I'm not going with her…"

Kagome took a deep breath, trying to erase the images on her mind, of her Inuyasha hugging the dead miko. "Did you… enjoy the hug?" She knew she failed in trying to sound cool.

Inuyasha sensed the hurt in her voice. "No…"

"Are you sure? You don't sound too convincing."

"I didn't."

Kagome was not convinced but didn't press any further. "So, what's going to happen now?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You met her last night and then avoided me at all costs. You refused to sleep beside me and then left me alone for most of the day. So what will happen now? It seems like you're feeling guilty about whatever happened or whatever you felt last night, and if that is so, it means you are having doubts about being with me."

"N-No, I'm not!"

Kagome got up while saying. "That's what it looks like to me. Last night I was going to tell you I was ready to become your mate. But right now, it's clear that we are not ready for it. You need to make up your mind before committing yourself to anyone." She stormed out of the hut and Inuyasha could smell her unshed tears.

He thought about going after her, but decided to stay and let her calm down. He needed to calm down himself and thought he could talk with her later. What the hell is going on with me, dammit! He punched a hole on the floor and then sighed. Great, now I have a floor to fix.

#####

Kagome stopped at the Well and let go of all the hurt and sadness she was carrying inside since the previous night. She cried and cried, also feeling pain because of the damn closed Well, who kept her from going home to her mom and getting the feeling of protection and love she always felt in her arms. Now, she had to deal with everything herself. She couldn't count on Sango or anyone else. These were her problems to deal with, and the only other person she knew would listen to her and soothe her troubles with a smile and words of wisdom was centuries apart.

She sat on the grass, leaning on the edge of the Well, and imagined she was talking to her mom.

"Oh Mama, what am I suppose to do? I love him so much, I gave up everything just to be with him, and I don't regret my decision. But I can't let myself get hurt and betrayed. It would kill me if he left me. I have to make sure he loves me and wants me, or I won't feel happy."

Kagome, trust your heart. Do you really think he would choose her over you?

"I'm not so sure anymore. I used to think so, after everything we've been through. And when she died the second time, I thought we would be happy and he wouldn't let her come between us again. Why did she have to show up again? Doesn't she know she's making him miserable again? If she truly loved him, she would let him go. Unless… she knows he wants her, not me. But, if I knew he would be happier without me, I would let him go, even though it would kill me…"

Do you truly believe that, Kagome? Do you think he loves her more than you? Do you think he loves her more than a friend? Think about it, honey. He's done so much for you, look at the house he built you, how much thought and care he put in it. He told you he wants you to be his mate. He hasn't done any of those things for her.

Kagome smiled and cried at the same time, thinking how a stupid imaginary talk could help her so much. "I guess it's true. He doesn't want her. He wants me. And I have to do something to get him out of this turmoil she's been putting him in." With a renewed energy, she wiped her tears and made her way home. "Thank you, Mama. No matter what, I know you are thinking about me and praying for my happiness."

"Inuyasha?"

He was sitting on the floor, seemingly fixing a problem with it. "Kagome. I… there was a little… thing here, I'm just fixing it."

She gave him a sincere smile. "Okay. I want to tell you something."

"O-Okay."

She sat on the futon and waited for him to turn to her. When he did, she looked at him straight in the eyes. "I want you to know that I'm not giving up on you. Whatever it is you're going through with Kikyo, you have to know I'm willing to help however I can. That is, if you want me to."

Inuyasha was a bit startled but managed to speak. "Kagome… I don't want you to think I'm betraying you or something. But I can't explain what's going on with Kikyo, because I don't know… whenever I see her, something happens and it's like I can't control myself anymore. It's pissing the shit out of me, but I don't know what to do!" He clenched his jaw and fisted his hands. "But I can promise you this. I will never go with her. I'm not leaving and I would never do something to hurt you. I don't want her, I want you, only you."

Kagome almost burst into tears and threw herself in his arms. "I'm so happy and relieved to hear you say that. I was so scared of losing you. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what would become of me if you left me."

Inuyasha buried his nose in her hair, holding her tight to his chest and soothing her back. "I will never leave you. I live because of you."

She pulled out from his embrace and looked at him lovingly. "And I was born to be with you."

He kissed her passionately, grabbing her neck and putting his other hand on her waist, trying to get her as close as possible. One of her hands was on the back of his head while the other caressed his chest. After a few minutes, they finally parted for air and Kagome felt herself relaxing even more when she saw the lustful look in his eyes.

"Kagome, I want your help, but I don't know how you can…"

"I know. I'll come with you whenever she comes. That way, I'll make sure she keeps her distance and I hope she feels a little bit intimidated with my presence. She has to stop thinking you'll go with her and she has to stop coming and bothering us."

Inuyasha smiled. "Okay, it's settled then."

They were still holding hands and Inuyasha was about to pull her for another kiss when a yokai came bursting through the door.

"Inuyasha! Kagome!"

Kagome was startled and Inuyasha let out a growl. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, runt?"

Shippo's bright eyes and grin disappeared and he held his hands together, making circles on the floor with a paw. "Did I… interrupt you guys?"

"Of course you did! You don't come running inside like that! You scared the shit out of Kagome and I could've slashed you into two pieces with the Tessaiga!"

"S-Sorry, Inuyasha… sorry, Kagome." He had tears in his eyes and Kagome stretched her arms to him.

"That's okay, Shippo, just don't do it anymore, okay? Knock first or walk in slowly", she said, smiling, while cuddling him.

"Alright. Hey, I wanted to ask you guys… when can I move in… I know I'm away most of the time, training, but I just got back and I don't want to stay at Kaede's anymore… she started farting in her sleep", he said with a disgusted face.

"Ha! I should keep you there for a while, for you to learn not to come barging in like that!"

"Inuyasha, that's not cool. Shippo, you can move in. You already have a room that is ready for you, and we are your guardians… or something like that, so you're welcome here."

Shippo gave her the biggest smile and hugged her neck. "Thank you! I'll go get my stuff and be right back!"

Inuyasha was looking at Kagome with a scowl. "Don't you think you should ask me about that first?!"

Kagome made an innocent face and stood up to make some tea. "What's there to ask? He'll live with us, you built him a room, and besides, we are sleeping on the same bed, aren't we?" She was still not looking at him and he knew it was a trick question.

"Keh! You're the one to decide that. I said I can't promise to behave if I'm sleeping next to you and you're the one who wants to wait."

Kagome sighed. "I know. But whose fault it is, that we didn't mate last night?" She turned to him and he blushed furiously.

"I-I'm sorry." His ears drooped and he looked at his lap.

"That's okay. We'll just have to wait for another opportunity."

"It could be today, if it wasn't for the runt! And you're the one who invited him!"

"And I'm not taking the invitation back, so just deal with it. Hey, there's something I've been meaning to ask you…"

Inuyasha was still looking down and frowning. "What?" He said, looking up to her.

Kagome sat next to him and he could see her face as red as his haori. "What if… I mean, how do we… I'm just curious about… children."

Inuyasha frowned again. "What about them?"

Kagome sighed. "Well, if we mate, we might be having one, right?"

His eyes widened and he averted his gaze. "I… no, not exactly. I can make sure you don't get pupped, if that's what you want."

He sounded a little offended and Kagome knew what he thought. "It's not that I don't want to have children!"

"Pups."

"Right, pups. It's not that, it's just that I don't know if we should have them right now. Don't you want to wait a little bit, to just be us, before there's someone else?"

Inuyasha smirked. "Yeah, I guess so… so, you really want to have my pups?" His eyes were desperate and she was sad to see how little he thought of himself. He probably didn't believe anyone would want to have his babies and she couldn't help but think how he had suffered throughout his life, how much rejection he faced.

"Inuyasha… how can you think otherwise? I love you and I want chil… pups, and I want them to have you as a father. And I want them to have your ears as well."

He looked at her with a surprised expression and she was smiling. He jumped on her and they fell on the futon, his body covering hers and the biggest smile on his face. He pushed his lips to hers and they lost each other to the moment of passion and happiness they were experiencing, only parting when Shippo knocked lightly on the door, holding his toys.

"Hey Shippo, I guess you're finally moving in", Kagome said, smiling at the excited kit.

"Yes! I have a home!"

Kagome smiled and tried her best to ignore Inuyasha's sour mood, although she did understand his frustration. "Shippo, do you know when you have to go back to your training?"

Shippo looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Uh… in a couple of weeks. Why?"

Kagome tried her best to hide her disappointment. After talking to Inuyasha, she felt much better and didn't want to wait any longer to become his mate. Especially now that he had given her "permission" to accompany him to his meetings with Kikyo, she felt she would feel better and more powerful if she faced her as Inuyasha's mate. "Oh, nothing. I was just curious", she said, looking at Inuyasha and winking at him, behind Shippo's back. "But don't worry, you are welcome to stay here for as long as you want and whenever you want."

"Oi! That's not exactly true! You might have to stay at Kaede's once in a while", Inuyasha protested.

Kagome glared at him and he flinched. Then, she sighed and gave up. After all, it was Inuyasha's house as well, and he was the alpha male. Besides, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have the house to themselves whenever they felt like it. "Shippo, I can't argue with Inuyasha about that. He's the boss. But it won't happen too often, I promise."

Inuyasha's mouth fell to the ground and Kagome walked up to him, while Shippo went to his room, smiling. "What's the matter?" She asked, putting a finger under his chin and closing his gaping mouth.

"Did you just… did you just submit to me?!"

"I guess I did. Why? Does it matter?"

"Of course it does, wench! You've never done that! And you called me the alpha male. Of course that's true, I just didn't know if you knew it", he said, smirking.

"Hey, don't go gloating like that yet. There are certain things I won't put up with, but I have to respect your wishes as well, don't I?"

"Damn right you have! Keh! If I knew it would be that easy to get you to submit to me, I would've already ma-"

"Hey, what's for dinner?"

Inuyasha growled. "You are really getting thumped soon, runt."

Shippo looked confused. "Inuyasha, why don't you take Shippo hunting? You might help him with it, so that he can catch us dinner occasionally", Kagome said, putting an end to the awkward interruption.

"Keh. Let's go, kit."

Shippo jumped with joy towards the door and Inuyasha smiled at Kagome before following him.

Kagome couldn't believe how happy she was to have settled things with Inuyasha. Waiting for him and Shippo bring their dinner, she decided to cook some rice and set the table for them. After half an hour, they brought two fat rabbits, Shippo glowing with pride while holding one of the animals.

"Look what I got, Kagome!"

"Wow, that's a really big rabbit, Shippo! Well done!"

"Yeah, the kit has been learning some hunting skills with his friends. I just had to clean up the rabbits."

"That's very impressive, Shippo. It's good to know we can count on you to bring home some food. Now, let's get the cooking going."

After skewering the rabbits and putting them above the fire, they sat on the futon and talked until it was time to eat. They enjoyed their meal and Kagome, in true motherly fashion, told Shippo it was time to go to bed. He protested a little, but obeyed when Inuyasha told him he was under their rules now, as his guardians. When Shippo left the room, Kagome took Inuyasha's hand, smiling, and led him to their bedroom.

"Do you think you can wait a couple of weeks? I don't think it's a good idea doing… that with him so near."

"I have no other choice now, have I? Keh, yes, I can wait… but do you really think we should sleep on the same futon for two weeks? I could always sleep on the roof."

"Well, we can try, but if it gets… uh… difficult for you to… control yourself, you can go to the roof…"

Inuyasha smirked. "Okay wench, you win."

Inuyasha left the room momentarily, for Kagome to change into her sleeping yukata, and then went back to the room when she said it was ok. He took off his haori and juban and laid next to her, grinning when he caught her admiring his chest. She laid on her side with her back to his chest and grabbed his hand, draping it over her waist. They both let out a content sigh and fell asleep.