Happy mother's day! (or not if you're reading this at a later date). Here's a new chapter, something isn't right with it and I don't feel confident in publishing it but I'm so far ahead in the story that I need to. Anyway, It's angsty and annoying and I might take it down at some point and rewrite it. Other than that, please try and enjoy it!
I awoke to the sound of the carriage driver calling; I blinked, rubbing my eyes, the evening high upon us as we stood outside the gates of Whiterun. Torvar had already gotten off the carriage, now sober. He stood looking down at the Tundra outside the walls of Whiterun; the wind blew blissfully in his light brown locks.
"Come on Lass," The driver insisted, reaching out his arm, I took it and he helped me off the carriage with ease, my legs numb from their lack of us on the journey home.
"Thanks," I said to the driver, and waddled to the spot where Torvar stood waiting for me. I placed my hand on his shoulder, he swirled his head around and smiled down at me, "Let's go back to Jorrvaskr," I said to him.
He gave me a charming smile and wrapped his arm around my shoulder in a friendly gesture; I looped mine around his waist. We walked slowly up to the gates of Whiterun, our footfalls heavy from tiredness, thumping against the earth. Birds chirped and sang happily around us, and the smell that greeted me was familiar and nostalgic. I let out a sigh, and smiled to myself, I was safe, I was home.
I pushed my way through the heavy doors into Jorrvaskr's main hall, warmth greeted me and I let out a shiver. The aroma of the room sent my empty stomach into a frenzy of hungry snarls and growls, urging me to stuff my face with hot food and cold mead.
"Welcome back Companions," Kodlak's deep voice erupted from the western side of the table. He sat comfortably at the head of the large oak table, platters of freshly cooked meat in front of him, decorated with cheeses, fruits and sweet breads.
"The deed is done Harbringer," I replied, slumping into a nearby seat. I started to devour the warm food, feasting upon the meat and then moving onto the cheese and the breads, watering it all down with a cold tankard of ale.
"Then here," He reached inside his waist and pulled out a large purple coin purse. He rummaged inside, the coins jingling about within in, "You deserved it," Kodlak counted out 500 septims each for both mine and Torvar's hard work. I took the money gracefully and stuffed it inside my own, smaller, coin purse.
On the other side of the table, Torvar grabbed his own seat after collecting his reward. He poured himself some ale and sat quietly watching the fire. I turned back to Kodlak who had tucked into more food, getting bits of meat caught in his large grey beard.
"Kodlak," I started, putting down the leg of chicken I held on a nearby wooden platter. The old man turned to me with a curious and interested look in his aged eyes, "There was something else, at Deepwood Redoubt, a strange door leading into the side of the mountain." I began to nervously chew my bottle lip as the man continued to look at me.
"Did you go inside?" Kodlak asked after a momentary silence which was filled with the hum of the other Companions talking amongst themselves. I shook my head, and picked up the chicken leg, ripping off another delicious chunk with my teeth, "Are you asking for my permission to go back out there and find what's in there?" Kodlak rose both of his eyebrows and questions.
"No, well," I paused for a moment.
"I'm not the boss of you Susi," Kodlak continued, his voice deep and calm, "You are a free spirit," He gave me a fatherly smile, "If you want to go back you can, only," He gave me a serious look, "If you promise to take a shield brother or sister with you."
I nodded my head in agreement, suddenly thinking about what I had asked Vilkas. Should I ask him to be my shield brother again? Or would he retort with the same answer? My stomach sunk and I suddenly became full. I dropped my chicken leg and rose from my seat. I stalked away from the main hall and into the living quarters, leaving the warmth and bright light of the hall into the depths of the hall, where the torches let out an eerie glow and the chill of the stone sent shivers through me. I increased my pace as I walked down the hall, looking at the red and gold tapestries that hung on the stone wall, and avoiding the large tables with benches that were pushed against the wall out of the way.
"Vilkas," I banged on his bedroom door. I heard a grumble within, and the thud of heavy sleepy footfalls on the stone floor. Seconds later, a tired Vilkas had yanked open his bedroom, and stared down at me with an annoyed expression.
"What?" He grunted, rubbing his eyes and pushing his hair out of his face. He decided to let his facial hair grow and the stubble curled across his cheeks and down to the nape of his neck.
"I-er," I began, feeling slightly embarrassed. I rocked on my heels for a moment with Vilkas towering over me.
"What is it?" He demanded, leering over me, I looked away from him to the other side of the hall where I could see his brother's room. Farkas was always nicer to talk to, even if he wasn't a good talker himself.
"Can I come in?" I asked nervously. Vilkas grumbled and stood aside to let me shuffle into his living quarters. I moved inside, and as soon as I was out of range, he closed the door briskly and moved to stand in front of me once more.
"Now tell me what you want," His tone was more relaxed this time, but he still held his intimidating demeanour. I plucked up enough courage to look into his face, and our eyes met momentarily before I quickly looked away and stared at the bookcase, that stood behind his head. He followed my gaze and looked around, confused as to why I stared at his half filled bookcase.
"I wanted to ask again," I paused looking briefly at him and then moving my eyes across his chest. He wasn't wearing his armour again; instead he wore a pale shirt that opened out at the chest and tight linen trousers that accentuated all his muscle, "If you wanted to be my shield brother?" I gave me a hopeful look but he shot me down with a scowl.
"Didn't I tell you to ask Farkas?" He snapped, I clenched my hands together behind me and started to rock on my heels again.
"I would rather you be my shield brother!" I insisted, knotting my brows together and shutting my eyes tight.
"Why?" His tone feigned the slightest bit of sympathy.
"Does there have to be a reason?" I kept my eyes solid shut. I felt my face heat up and my mind flooded with desires and things that I wanted to desperately say to him. I wanted him. I wanted him. I really wanted him.
"Yes," He stated. I let out a groan and hide my face from view.
"God sake Vilkas," I let out with exasperation, staring into the pit of my dirty palms. Between the cracks in my fingers I could see the dim light of the torches and his feet, standing square in front of me.
"Wouldn't it be easier to have Farkas?" He questioned, his hands grasped onto my shoulders. I kept my face hidden from sight.
"No!" I let out, my voice filling with rage and sadness, "Why do you insist I have Farkas?" I finally took my hands away and glared at him, "Why?" I demanded. His jaw tightened and he returned my fierce glare.
He opened his mouth up for a moment, and then closed it. Finally I had silenced him.
"Be my shield brother," I ordered.
"I can't," He moaned, I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes.
"Fine," I let out with exasperation feeling annoyed, disheartened and frustrated, "Fine, fine, fine," I repeated, turning my back on him, "You're the one who ruined this," I snapped at him, jabbing my middle finger at him before I stormed from his living quarters.