I'm still on vacation right now so that's why I've writing so much, but tomorrow I go back to school so I just want to write this one today.
CLARY'S POV
When I wake up my first thought is how much my arm hurts. My second is that there are three other people in the room. They're talking about something and I sort of want to know what so I keep on pretending I'm asleep. I also realize one other thing though, this is not my bed.
The first voice I here is a familiar one. "It's not your fault. You tried to get her out of there. Jace calm down, you didn't know that was going to happen, you couldn't have." Isabelle is talking to apparently Jace.
"Yes it is my fault Izzy. I should have blocked her or something. I wish I hadn't suggested we walk home." Jace sounds tired.
"Wait guys," This time Simon speaks. "I just saw Clary move. I think she's awake." Damn it. I open up my eyes and all three of them rush over to me.
"Thanks for ruining my plan of listening in on you guys Simon." Jace sits down on the bed I'm in. As I look around I realize I'm in the hospital.
"Clary I'm so sorry. I didn't know that was going to happen. This is all my fault." Isabelle puts a hand on his shoulder as he takes my hand in his.
"Jace it's not your fault. It's the fault of whoever shot Clary." I look at the three of them and they all have sad expressions.
"Come on Isabelle, we should tell everybody Clary woke up." Simon and Izzy leave, leaving me with Jace.
"Clary if anything were to happen to you I don't think I would ever be able to forgive myself." The look on his face breaks my heart. I want so much to reach out and touch him but I can't move my left arm and Jace is already holding my right hand. I try to sit up but it hurts too much. "No, don't try to move. I don't want you getting hurt further." I listen to Jace and stay still.
After a couple more minutes my mom, Luke and Jonathon come in. Jace stands up looking extremely guilty. My mom puts her hand on his shoulder. "Jace it's not your fault. It's ok." I can tell that Jace doesn't believe her but he nods anyway.
When Jonathon passes by him he puts his hand on Jace's shoulder too. "You're a dead man." Jace looks like he's about to say something but decides against it and leaves. "Clary are you alright?" Jon asks me, he really has been a good brother to me and it doesn't even feel like we were separated for almost 16 years.
"It's not Jace's fault Jon." He sits down beside me and says nothing. I turn to my mother. "How long have I been out?"
"A little over a day." I can't believe this. Jace must be feeling horrible and I can't imagine how scared everybody must have felt. "Clary the nurse and doctor are going to come in soon so we need to go. I'm so sorry for everything that happened."
Mom kisses me on the forehead and Luke and Jon pat me on my right shoulder. Then they all leave and I'm alone. All I want is to see Jace or Isabelle or Simon. Just one of my friends. The pain in my arm starts getting worse and I squeeze my eyes shut for a second. The door opens and a doctor and nurse walk in. "Hello Clarissa, I'm Dr. Zachariah and this is my assistant Cleophas. I will be your doctor in the time you stay here. Please, tell me how much your shoulder hurts on a scale from 1 to 10."
"8." I say bluntly and close my eyes from the pain. He writes a few things down on a clipboard. I'm curious to ask what but I don't. Cleophas comes over to me with a needle and I start freaking out. I hate needles. They scare more than anything else.
Dr. Zachariah, seeing me fidget, tries to have me focus on other things. "I saw that your family is outside. And many of your friends, tell me about them."
"Well, there's my mom, her name is Jocelyn. My step-dad is Luke and my brother is named Jonathon." I feel the tip of the needle on my skin and wince. Dr. Z tells me to continue. "The one with glasses is Simon, he's my best friend, we're like siblings." I inhale and continue. "Isabelle and Alec are brother and sister."
"Very good, you've gotten past the first two shots." I didn't realize there had been two. "Now there's just one more. Tell me about the blonde boy. You two seem to be close."
"That's Jace." I pause remembering his sad face from earlier. "He's the adopted brother of Isabelle and Alec..." I notice that it's over and I have a sigh of relief, I don't want to think about how sad Jace is feeling or else I'll feel depressed too.
"You did very good Clary, I'm going to talk to your parents but your friends can come in." Dr. Z and Cleophas leave. Jace and the others come in.
Jace still looks incredibly sorry like this was all his fault. "Jace stop giving me that look. For the last time it wasn't your fault." Jace looks down, usually he's so tough, what happened?
"Simon, Jace can I talk to Clary alone real fast?" Isabelle says it more as a statement rather than a question but they both nod and leave. "Jace has been sulking around ever since this happened. He thinks it's his fault but he's the reason you're alive." I raise my eyebrows at Isabelle and she continues. "Jace picked you up and ran 2 and a half miles to the hospital. I can't even run one mile carrying nothing. Anyway, the doctors said that if you had lost anymore blood you would have died."
I sigh, I really hate seeing Jace like this. I wish he would realize that this isn't his fault. "I don't know what to say Izzy. I feel so bad when I see him looking like this but I just wish he would stop." I rest my head back on the pillow. "I'm tired, can you tell everyone I'm going back to sleep?"
"Of course." Isabelle says. She leaves, closing the door behind her. My eyes start getting really heavy and before I know it, I'm asleep.
A week passes by and I'm still in the hospital. Tomorrow I'm supposed to get out so I'm really excited. Simon has been making sure that I'm caught up in my school work. Luke and Jonathon visit every day but my mom just sleeps in the hospital with me. The Lightwoods visit a couple times a week and Jace comes whenever he can which is almost every day.
Luke informed me that the guy that shot me (and all the other people in the car) have been arrested. It gives me a good feeling to know that. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When I'm finally aloud to leave my room, I jump on the chance. My mom drives me home and there's a 'Welcome Back' party for me when I get home. Well more like a get together. It's just my family and the Lightwoods (including Jace and Magnus). The entire time everybody is just asking how I'm feeling and if I need anything and what it's like to wear a cast. I'm just gonna say, it gets pretty annoying after a little while.
When everybody is talking I decide to slip away to my room. I sit down on my bed and lay there for about 10 minutes. Jace comes into my room I sit up. "Hey, everybody's wondering where you went." I sigh and Jace comes over to sit next me. "What's wrong?" He asks quietly.
I smile at him. "I'm just tired, I really don't want to get up." Once I say that he grins at me. "What?"
Jace picks me up, bridal style, being mindful of my arm. "Then you don't have to get up."
"Omg Jace put me down!" I scream at him and he just laughs. He caries me out of my room and I give up and place my head on his shoulder.
He walks downstairs with me in his arms and sits down on the couch. He tries to set me down next to him but I hold on with my one good arm. "Can I just stay here?" I mumble softly. He adjusts me on his laps and then hugs me tight.
"Sure." I lay my head down on his shoulder and I can hear Jace having various conversations with various people, all the while I sit in his lap. After a little while I start to doze off but I somehow manage to stay awake. I hear my parents saying goodbye to Maryse, Robert, Alec, Magnus and Isabelle. "I'll put her to bed Luke." I hear Jace say.
After a moment I feel Jace stand up and start going upstairs. He pushes my door open with his foot and walks over to my bed. Jace lightly sets me down on my bed and pull the covers over me. I open my eyes a little and see him heading towards the door. "Jace." He turns around and walks back over to me. "Please don't leave me." I say quietly and he kisses me on the lips.
"I would never." He whispers back. Jace gets up and shuts the door then comes back to my bed and sits beside it.
After a few minutes I speak. "It's not your fault I got shot." He looks up at me abruptly then sighs.
"I know. It's just... Clary what I said before, at the hospital, is true. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you. You're my life, Clary. You truly are the light of my life." I scoot over in my bed up against the wall and pat it telling him to lay down next to me. Jace gets in the bed and I move so I'm snuggled in his chest, in between his arms.
As we lay there, spooning, I decide to tell him what I wanted to the other week. "Jace, I think I love you." He hugs me tighter, still being careful of my arm. After several minutes, right before I fall asleep I hear him whisper and it makes me smile.
"I love you too."