I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT (:
I refused to let myself think about reality. I knew that this would kill me later and I was foolish for allowing myself to come with him, but I needed him like a human needs air. I needed him around me. I needed to see his face, hear his voice.
Even if all it said was "I love Tanya."
But what was I to do? The days were flying by, and it wasn't long before Edward and I will truly never, ever have another chance.
Rosalie's dark blue dress swept across the floor as she walked over to us with a smile. Seeing anyone in our family with a smile is unlikely, seeing Rosalie with a smile is impossible. "Hello." She greeted us, unable to pull down the corners of her lips.
Was it alright for me to smile? Would Edward think that I was getting the wrong idea?
I could be happy tonight, right? That's all he's ever really wanted, he tells me that everyday. If I smile, that wouldn't be a big deal, right?
My eyes slowly trailed up to him. He had a smile, bright as the morning sun, from ear to ear.
"Having fun?" I asked, slowly leaning my shoulder towards his. We haven't been this close in years.
His cool skin brushed up against mine for the quickest second.
"Yes." Rose said, turning her head, looking back at Emmett who was currently sharing a fast dance with Alice. They twisted and turned all over the dance floor as the students stared at them wide-eyed.
"Are you?" Edward asked, looking down and slowly put his hand on the small of my back. The touch was gentle, well thought out.
I felt a rush through my veins as I smiled and leaned in closer, closing my eyes.
For a second, it was only us in the world.
"Yes. Thank you for taking me. I needed this." I breathed, never opening my eyes.
"If I remember correctly, you wanted me dead last time I took you to prom." He chuckled lightly and I leaned in even more. My head was just inches from his shoulder.
"I'd never want you dead." I breathed, my eyes still closed as I lightly laid my head against his shoulder. The fabric of his tux brushed against my cheek and I could feel his cool skin under neath of it. It felt like home.
He was silent for a second, I feared that I had made a wrong move--gotten too close. But when I looked up at him, his eyes were staring off into the distance, they were glassy and pained. "Even after all I've done to you?" He whispered, and his arm slowly wrapped around my waist.
I was in Edward's arms.
"I just want you in my life." I whispered, sighing and gently rubbing my forehead against his shoulder.
The conversation had gotten too serious. We were never supposed to be serious, we had thick lines now-a-days that we simply could not cross, but now that I looked back, I had crossed at least ten of those lines tonight alone.
"So, why didn't you bring Tanya?" I asked on a lighter note. I didn't like talking about her, but what were we going to do? Act like she didn't exist?
He shrugged his shoulder, bouncing my head a little bit. "She hates these things. But, she actually really wanted me to bring you."
"She did?" I chuckled lightly and stared off into the gym. All of the kids jumped around to the music and laughed with each other. I wish life was that simple again.
"She wanted you to know that she is sorry for the things she's said, and that she's very grateful for what you did. She was afraid you wouldn't except her apology coming from her."
"It wasn't a big deal." I lied. It was a huge deal.
"Yes, it was. Thank you, Bella. More than you'll ever know." The tone of his voice was sincere, and suddenly slaving over the dress was worth it.
"Can we be happy tonight?" I whispered, dazed.
"It would be a nice change, wouldn't it?" He smiled lightly and slowly rocked back and forth as the music slowed down.
"Yes," I breathed.
I slowly wrapped my other arm around his waist and held on for dear life. I wanted him more than he'll ever know. I needed him. I loved him.
I breathed in the beautiful scent of his skin, he hadn't been around so much today, so it wasn't poison like most days. I snuggled my forehead into his arm and lowered my voice into the smallest whisper. "Do you still think about me?"
My voice cracked at the last word as I tried hard to keep it together.
"Everyday." He whispered back, putting his hand on the back of my head as he held me closer to him.
I pictured him lying in bed with Tanya, staring up at the ceiling. When she asks him what he was thinking, would he tell her the truth? Would he come out and say, "I'm remembering the time I taught her and Nessie how to play baseball." Or, "I'm thinking about back when we were so happy that we laughed until our stomachs hurt." Or, "I'm wondering what Bella was thinking when I saved her from Tyler's van." Or, "I'm remembering the way she whispered so Charlie wouldn't hear..."
"Or the way her heart skipped a beat when I came through her window." He spoke out loud.
I instantly threw up my shield and he sighed.
How had I been stupid enough to let it drop?
I had gotten to comfortable. Why I had I let myself get close to him?
I sighed and got ready to scoot out of her arms and walk out. Carry my sorry self home and attempt to have some type of life without him. But as soon as I flinched, he spoke again.
"I love you, Bella."
"I love you, too."
Another moment of silence.
Was I not supposed to say it back? Was I supposed to go on and pretend I didn't hear it? Had I messed it all up?
"I don't want to marry her." He confessed after three minutes of silence between us.