Disclaimer: See first chapter

"Strip Exploding Snap!"

Lupin looked up from his book and raised his eyebrows. "Sorry?"

"We'll play Strip Exploding Snap," Sirius explained. "And we'll keep forcing shots on her and then you can kiss her."

Lupin was lost for words.

"Good, isn't it?"

"That's the master plan then, is it?" Lupin asked, his eyebrows now hidden by his fringe. "Date Rape?"

Sirius sighed and flung himself into an armchair. "Remus, when you put it like that, it sounds so sordid. Come on, we decided your New Year's Resolution was going to be to get some."

Lupin returned to his book and made a show of turning the page, alerting Sirius to the fact that he was attempting to ignore him. "No, you decided."

"I've been coming up with brilliant schemes all day and all I get from you is 'No, I don't like it', 'No, it's ridiculous'…"

Lupin adopted the same smarmy tone, imitating Sirius perfectly (which he knew irritated him to distraction), "No, it's illegal."

Sirius sighed, exasperated. "If you're going to keep putting a dampener on things, I'll give up."

"Oh good," said Lupin, returning his attention to his book and taking a sip of tea.

"Remus, when was the last time you had sex with someone other than yourself?"

Lupin frowned and made no reply. He hummed softly to himself and winced as he was forced by Sirius' presence, to swallow the now cold tea.

"I thought so," muttered Sirius, smiling smugly. "Come on, say something. You might as well tell me. Was it Nancy? Was she the last girl you slept with?"

Lupin, loathe to admit to anything, slammed the book shut and announced his departure.

"Okay, be that way but she's coming in three hours and I will stoop lower than you can imagine."

From the landing, Lupin called down, "I highly doubt that!"

Sirius smirked. Tonight was going to be the most fun he'd had in years.

Tonks, this time with violet pixie-like hair and her usual 'Lupin-black' eyes, smiled conspiratorially at her cousin, hoping that he had been vaguely sensible in his approach to this evening.

"Moony!"

No answer.

Sirius' strained smile said it all. He did not need to add, "I pissed him off earlier." But he did.

Tonks sighed and stepped forward, standing at the foot of the stairs, peering up to a black ceiling, several storeys above her.

"Remus?"

Two flights of stairs above her, the majority of his upper body leant over the banister and he smiled, ruffling his hair a little.

"I'll be down now."

As soon as the three were assembled in the passageway, Sirius turned to Tonks. "Right, I've had enough of this. Do you fancy my best friend?"

Her eyes returned to their usual bright silver. Her cheeks adopted a vivid scarlet hue. Tonks bit her lip. If she had known that Sirius was going to be so brazen, she would never have given her permission for him to project-manage this.

On the other hand, wasn't this the best way, to have it out in the open?

"Well," she said, avoiding both sets of eyes and trying to morph away her blush. "He is pretty fanciable."

It was Lupin's turn to be abashed, staring at the floor and dreading Sirius' next question, no doubt aimed at him.

"And do you want to snog my baby cousin?"

Right. Well, on the one hand, yes he did. On the other, he was never going to admit it in a million years. Lupin coughed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. She had admitted it. Wasn't this the best way, to have it out in the open?

"Well," he said, smiling at Tonks. "She is pretty kissable."

Sirius smiled smugly. "Good. Then hurry it up." Hurriedly, he made his exit, presumably to avoid Lupin, whose temper, on the rare occasions that he lost it, was the stuff of legend.

Hearing a door close above them, Tonks, mortified, attempted a tension-breaking smile.

"I'm going to skin him alive," muttered Lupin, unable to take his eyes off the floor.

"What, after you kiss me or before?" Tonks joked, her laughter nervous and unconvincing.

"Definitely before," Lupin replied, smiling at the carpet. "I was going to keep that for my prize if I managed to do it."

Her heart fluttered. His prize? Oh God, was he going to have a shock, or what? Tonks swallowed and bit her lip. Laughing nervously, she assured him that her kisses were the furthest from prizes that a man could physically get.

Finally, Lupin looked her in the eyes. "You kiss like a what?"

"A dead horse," she repeated, her voice cracking slightly. She plastered on a grin and somehow managed to make it look almost genuine.

Lupin blinked and raised his eyebrows. "Well, personally, I haven't had much sexual experience with a horse, deceased or otherwise, and it does rather make me question your previous relationships."

How could he make her laugh even when she was so low?

"Much?" she asked. "So you've had some experience with deceased horses?"

Lupin smiled. "Plural, Nymphadora?" Noting her change of mood, he supposed now was the best time to ask. "Who told you that anyway?"

Admitting this clearly took some effort. Tonks inhaled deeply and stared at the door just behind Lupin. "My ex-boyfriend," she said at last. "Well, no. He didn't tell me, he told his entire office and they told me." She shrugged. "What do you do after that?"

"You dump the bastard."

Tonks laughed. "It was a bit late for that. He'd packed me the week before."

Lupin nodded; his eyes dark and their expression pensive as he digested this information. "Well," he said finally. "Yet more proof that he's an idiot." They fell into silence as he wondered if this woman hid her emotions as well as she did her appearance. "Bet you don't."

Tonks lifted her head. "Bet I don't what?"

"Kiss like a dead horse."

Tonks laughed bitterly. "You would say that though, wouldn't you? You've never been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of one."

He moved so quickly that before Tonks had fully registered what was happening, he was appraising her.

"Well, I wouldn't say that reminded me of a dead horse," he said, frowning slightly. "Your lips were warm for starters, so unless it was a recently deceased horse then…"

Tonks' laugh was breathy and she barely managed to speak. "I think we'd better try that again," she murmured.

Despite his smile, she noticed Lupin's eyes widen as he pressed his lips together. Nervous wasn't the word. He looked terrified.

There appeared to be no happy medium.

His movements the second time, were timidly slow. He had already closed his eyes and Tonks took a shaky breath, tilting her head.

"Ow!"

Lupin winced and pulled away.

"Shit! Sorry," she stammered. "My fault! You went right; I shouldn't have gone left." Tonks cringed and shook her head, closing her eyes and trying to forget her embarrassment.

Lupin chuckled softly. "Third time lucky?" He leant in closer to her, inhaling her scent. "And remember, go right."

Tonks wanted to cover her face with her hands and quickly remembered that now was the exact wrong moment to do so. She contented herself with smiling and obediently closing her eyes, tilting her head left and suddenly remembering, producing another soft chuckle from Lupin.

Lupin's kisses, like his lips, were exquisitely soft. Tonks pressed her mouth harder against his but he continued to pull away slightly and administer yet more decidedly pleasant torture. She whimpered slightly as he captured her cupid's bow between his lips and was horrified to find that he quickly pulled away.

He had not, however, taken a step back. They were almost nose to nose as he told her to lick her lips.

"What?"

"Lick your lips. Kissing dry lips is…well, it's not bad per se, but it's certainly less pleasant."

Tonks did as she was told.

"Now close your eyes."

She bit her lips together so that he wouldn't see her triumphant smile as he slipped his arms around her waist

Grimmauld Place had always been bitterly cold and yet, wrapped up in both Lupin and his cardigan in front of a roaring fire, it was heaven; absolute heaven.

"I don't know whether you noticed," said Lupin, staring into the fire and watching it spit glowing embers. "But all I did was tell you what I liked, so technically, you kiss like that on your own."

Tonks made herself comfortable beside him. "Like that?"

"Well," said Lupin, smiling down at her. "For a dead horse, that was pretty good."

They fell into silence whilst Tonks debated what she considered to be a major issue. Eventually, she broke the silence.

"Remus?"

It was the hint of concern in her voice that startled Lupin. "Yes?"

"Am I still single?"