A/N: My humblest apologizes. I do hope this will make up for the wait. I think we've had enough angst. So let's start moving on to the romance. Enjoy ;)
'Where do I stand in your life, Rangiku?'
A glint of mischief flashes in her sea blue eyes as a sly grin appears on her face. "Silly Taicho," she'd say to him. "You belong here," taking one of his hands she'd guide it to her chest, laying it over her heart.
It would have been a picture perfect moment. She'd cradle his face between her small hands; pulling him closer. Her lips would softly brush against his as she murmurs her answer to his question and say those words he'd yearn to hear for so long.
"I love you, my Toushirou."
And after a moments pause because he would be unsure if he had heard her correctly Hitsugaya would beg her to say it again. She'd giggle at his request but indulge him by not only repeating her confession but pouring all of her emotions into a kiss that conveyed just how much. Leaving no doubt in his mind that Matsumoto Rangiku loves Hitsugaya Toushirou.
It would have been a beautiful moment indeed if it had really happened that way. Unfortunately the universe isn't perfect and Hitsugaya's dream didn't come true. The lone figure sat quietly in the darkness of his office. The heavy tension that had lingered in the air finally began to fade away leaving a blanket of disappointment in its wake. This was the heartache he had wanted to avoid and the painful truth was that it could have been prevented if he had remained quiet about how he felt for her.
Why did he have to say those words to her? Why did he have to ask in the first place?
Leaning back into his chair, Hitsugaya stared at the scarf he held in his hands. Even in the desolate room the pink fabric shone brightly in the darkness. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. 'Much like the owner,' he thought. Even from the beginning Matsumoto had always been his guiding beacon. But after tonight who knows which way their relationship will turn. Had his logical mind not warned him of the consequences?
Swallowing the lump in his throat he brought the scarf to his nose savoring the sweet perfume of her essence. He touched the silk softness to his lips, remembering how her lips felt against his. Burying his face in the scarf Hitsugaya replays the scene where he had lost his heart.
His words lingered in the air and it didn't take a genius to figure out the meaning in them. Although his eyes remained closed Hitsugaya could feel her body tense beneath his hands. There was no doubt the stunned expression was on her face too. Grateful that he wasn't looking at her Matsumoto took the time to truly study the man before her.
A small gasp escaped Hitsugaya's lips as he felt her hands on his face. Giving her free rein to do what she wanted Hitsugaya remained still afraid that the slightest movement would ruin the moment. Matsumoto closed her eyes and began tracing his face with her fingers like a blind man reading Braille. She took in every detail. Her fingers started from the arch of his brows, down alongside the strong line of his jaw noting the rough stubble of hair shadowing his cheek, until finally they settled over his lips.
No longer was he the confused boy she had ran into all those years ago. Nor was he the cute little taicho she would hug senseless and tease till no end. No, the person that stood before her was not that boy but instead a man who had grown up to become the respected taicho of the 10th division. Here was a man that had stood besides her as an equal through the good and worst of times. Never had he strayed from her nor had decided to leave her behind unlike someone she once knew. Here was a man that had some how wormed his way into her heart. But could she admit to herself and to him that he had a place there?
Unable to maintain motionless under her curious touches Hitsugaya cautiously opened his eyes to look down at the woman who had unknowingly captured his heart. He was surprised to see that a tear had escaped leaving a wet trail along her beautiful face. He ran his thumb to wipe away the evidence.
"Rangiku,"
The feel of his hand upon her cheek pulled her from her daze and the sound of his hoarse whisper made her open her eyes. As she looked up she was overwhelmed by the crystalline teal colored eyes inadvertently pleading with her to see the unspoken love that he was offering.
Had Gin ever looked at her like that? Had he not been so selfish would he have been willing to given himself completely over to her like Hitsugaya was ready to do so now?
The sudden thought of Gin and Nanao's words doused her like a bucket of iced water. Her whole body began to tremble and her heart was pounding uncontrollably against her chest. Looking up at him she finally understood what Nanao meant. There was uncertainty that shone brightly in his eyes. And although Gin was gone he still held her heart. Or so she thought….Could she possibly move on with Hitsugaya?
Her mind was whirling and it was making her dizzy. Swallowing the lump in her throat she finally decided what she needed to do. More tears began to fall and Hitsugaya was unsure what to think of this. Matsumoto pulled his face down to capture his mouth. The kiss was passionate but rough and urgent. It was the type of kiss you'd give to someone you love just before saying goodbye.
She was going to walk away and he knew it. Scared out of his mind Hitsugaya pulled her against him, encompassing her body within his arms, hoping to secure any means of escape. 'I can't lose her now,' he kept repeating to himself. The kiss was bittersweet and Matsumoto wasn't sure if it was her tears she tasted or his.
With what little strength she had left Matsumoto pulled away. He tried to kiss her again but she turned away. It had hurt and Hitsugaya realized that his worst fears were coming true.
'She'll never love you…..' Gin's taunting words had solidified right before his eyes.
His grip loosened and Matsumoto immediately pulled away. He wanted to pull her back but instead wrapped his fingers around the scarf that hung around her shoulders.
"Rangiku…"
"Taicho don't…"
Her words were like a trigger and there was a sudden emptiness where his heart used to be. The void slowly began to spread throughout his body like some disease.
"Is that all I am to you, Matsumoto? Can I be nothing more to you than just your taicho?" He implored one last time even though he already knew the answer.
She chanced a glance at his face and quickly regretted it. In the wake of her rejection was the stoic persona that was Hitsugaya taicho. She hated this side of him and worse off she hated herself for being the reason why he was.
Matsumoto attempted to move closer to him but like a wounded animal Hitsugaya moved back. Her heart wanted her to explain to him that she was scared. That she needed some time to sift through this unexpected turn in their relationship. But her words were caught in her throat. Instead she took the coward's way out. "I'm sorry," she whispered before running out.
Leaving Hitsugaya alone leaving behind the pink scarf he held in his hand.
Pulling the scarf from his face Hitsugaya examined the material. The color was beginning to fade and the ends were lightly frayed. He bunched it up into a messy ball and on the way out of the office tossed it haphazardly into the wastebasket near his desk.
Nanao had just released the hell butterfly when the door to her office slid open. Assuming it was her taicho Nanao didn't bother to turn around to greet him. Glancing at the wall clock she threw over her shoulder, "Honestly you can't already be drunk, taicho."
"You were right, Nanao."
Nanao whorled around, surprised to see her friend standing in the doorway. Matsumoto stood there arms wrapped around her waist, shoulders slumped, and eyes red from crying. Rushing to her side Nanao took hold of her friend's arm and led her to the couch. Disappearing for only a moment Nanao returned with a tray full of tea. After settling down she urged Matsumoto to take a few sips to calm down.
Matsumoto lowered her cup onto her lap. She looked down to stare into her cup. The tranquil surface rippled as a teardrop fell from Matsumoto's chin. Nanao took the cup from Matsumoto placing it onto the table. Reaching out she grabs hold of her friend's hands, lightly squeezing them.
"What happened?"
Matsumoto stared blankly at Nanao. Her eyes glazed over as the events of what transpired began to replay in her mind. She felt Nanao squeeze her hands again, encouraging her. Swallowing the lump in her throat Matsumoto spoke, "You were right."
"When am I ever wrong, Ran?" Nanao teased hoping to lighten the mood just a little.
A small smile tugged at the corner of Matsumoto's mouth but it wasn't enough to wash away the hurtful pang in her heart. "Well I finally found out what really happened that night."
Nanao's curiosity was killing her. With Hitsugaya taicho's odd behavior and her friend's depressed state it had been a trying few weeks.
"And…"
Matsumoto buried her face into her hands, "I broke his heart."
"You know Toushirou," Shunsui called from inside of the hotel suite, "There's nothing out there but rain." Hitsugaya ignored the man's comment and remained out on the balcony. It would have been a breathtaking view if it wasn't indeed obscured by the thick streams of raindrops. "Yare, yare, it looked like it would have been such a promising day too if it didn't suddenly rain." Shunsui said as he joined Hitsugaya. "Oye," bumping his shoulder, "Toushirou are you sure you're not the cause of the weather."
Hitsugaya arched his brow at Shunsui, "Although it does suit my current mood Shu-kun. I can personally guarantee that I am not the one responsible for the rain." He slapped the man's back as he headed back inside. Regardless that they were already here for five days it always amazes Hitsugaya the lavishness of the hotel suite Ukitake had acquired for their week stay in the living world.
On their first day of arrival Hitsugaya had questioned Ukitake but the man adamantly refuses to answer his questions. "Do not worry yourself over it, Toushirou-kun. Relax and enjoy your punishment." They would share a few laughs but that didn't stop the 10th division taicho from uncovering the mystery (because seriously who wouldn't be curious as to how Ukitake Jyuushiro was able to get the best room in the finest hotel in the heart of the city). So instead he turns to the other man in question. "Shunsui what do you know about this?"
That lazy smile would appear, "Let's just say that not all of Juu-kun's many love affairs ended in heartache." He winked and left it at that.
Seeing as he wasn't going to get any answers Hitsugaya was forced to enjoy himself and much to his surprise he actually did. And true to their vow that night, both men did their best to make Hitsugaya forget his painful situation with a certain fukutaicho. But unknown to the young man, both men also made a secret vow amongst themselves to help resolve the rift between Hitsugaya and Matsumoto.
"So," Shunsui said aloud, coming in from the balcony, "What are the plans for today?"
Rubbing his hands together in delight Ukitake excitedly spoke, "Yes well although we are limited to what we can accomplish due to unforeseen circumstances with the weather, I've heard that there is a masquerade party taking place in one of clubs here in the hotel."
"Now that sounds like fun. Don't you think Toushirou?"
"A masquerade party at a club?" Hitsugaya scowled at the idea. Although they had been here for nearly a week not once had they taken him to any type of club. Sure they've been to bars and such but never a, Hitsugaya gulped nervously, to a dance club. He was never comfortable in places with large crowds, than again he was never comfortable with many people except with his division, family, the twins here, and…her.
Seeing the worried look on his face Shunsui quickly placed his arm around Hitsugaya's shoulder reassuring him. "Don't worry Shiro-chan." Hitsugaya glared up at the man, "We'll have so much fun. Besides we'll be wearing mask so there is nothing to worry about. No one is going to recognize you."
"Recognize me? Who would…" Before Hitsugaya could finish his question Ukitake interrupted. "Say Shun did you make that call you were supposed to?"
Their nonverbal expression was making Hitsugaya curious. 'What are they up to?'
"Yes, yes, the call. Excuse me," Shunsui went back out to the balcony this time sliding the glass door shut.
Hitsugaya turns a questioning gaze towards Ukitake. "Yes, um, while Shu-kun is taking care of that we should plan on where we should go shopping in preparation for tonight."
"Shopping? Shopping for what?"
"For clothes of course."
"We have enough clothes. Why spend any more money on it?"
"Because Toushirou-kun one of the key aspects when going to a night club is that you dress up to impress…."
"Impress? Impress who?"
For the first time Hitsugaya bore witness to the mischievous grin appearing on Ukitake's face. He winked and said, "The beautiful ladies of course." With that said Ukitake buried his head in a shopping directory that he held in his hand.
Hitsugaya slapped his forehead and dropped down onto one of the plush chairs. He could feel the looming headache coming on. If he wasn't already nervous about going to a club he was now petrified on what tonight was going to bring.
Leaning his head back, Hitsugaya closes his eyes and for a brief moment let his thoughts wonder to her and what she was doing.
*^*