The Light in the Fifth Floor Bedroom
Chapter 10: The Impostered Detective
"…and you've done research to make sure of this?" Kakashi asked, looking at Naruto with wary eyes.
The blonde nodded his head for the tenth time, crossing his arms to further make his point. "Yeah, I'm sure. It said so on the website."
Kakashi sighed and looked distantly to his left. "It's not that I don't trust you, Naruto. It's just…" he trailed off, and he furrowed his brows almost angrily.
"What is it?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow, and leaning patiently on the door of Kakashi's apartment.
"It's just that," the policeman continued, "I dismissed Gaara as a temperamental teenage boy when I first heard about him and when spent the little time I did on the case…But now that I know more about him…more of what he's capable of, I can't help but think that every move we make, whether it is to capture or understand him, is completely futile."
Naruto let his eyes dim. "Yeah, I know that feeling."
Kakashi looked up to meet his eyes. "So you see, then." He said. "You see why I'm hesitant to just let you go like that."
Naruto nodded his head. "Yeah, I get it. But whether it's futile or not, I still want to do this."
"What about the possibility that Kaze is watching you, following your every move, maybe even listening in—" he raised a hand when Naruto opened his mouth to interrupt, "I know it sounds impossible, but after what we've heard—"
"I don't think it's impossible," the blonde said, almost raising his voice. "We have absolutely no idea what we're dealing with; anything is possible. Especially with what's happened so far."
Kakashi nodded his head, glad that he and the blonde seemed to be on the same page. "There's one thing that keeps ringing in my head though…" he said quietly, "something Shikamaru said."
Naruto nodded to the older man, waiting for him to continue. He un-leaned against the door while he was at it, in his attentiveness.
"He knows what was…what is…and what will be…" Kakashi whispered. He looked at the ground for long moment before he cleared his own throat and looked at Naruto. "I'd roll my eyes to something like that, but for some reason…" he looked down again, "what he said seemed to ring some truth into me. It's as if Kaze knows our every move…doesn't it?" he looked up in question, and found Naruto staring sadly back.
"Yeah." He replied. "And to be honest it scares the shit out of me."
Kakashi gave him a small smile, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. "Speaking of that," he started, "I wanted to ask…Why are you doing this, Naruto? What do you expect to get from all of this?"
Naruto visibly hesitated, widening eyes at the question before blinking and rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I…it's…" he frowned, looking for the words. "I just feel like…there are people I care about who are affected by this…" he eyes narrowed then, "people who've I've fought for, fought with…loved, and hated. And just five years ago I would have busted my balls to get them out of any trouble they found themselves in…" he closed his eyes and sighed. "Ever since my mother ran off with some guy while I was in high school, I guess I've been sort of…I don't know…less motivated. Then I graduated high school, with grades too low to go anywhere I wanted, do anything I wanted to do, so I got some lame job, and watched as all my friends became more successful than I did…" he shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I've kind of lost myself since then."
"And this case is getting you back on your feet." Kakashi finished for him.
The blonde gave him a non-committing smile. "I guess I had a sort of…epiphany. I know I have to be a part of this case; I can't just sit back and wait for my friends to be found—not when I would have taken upon myself to find them only years ago, you know?" he ran a hand through his hair. "And I have to admit, " he continued softly, "Gaara, he…interests me…"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, and Naruto shook his head.
"I just mean…everything about him is just…I've never met anyone like him before."
"Well, you've never met him." Kakashi said plainly.
Naruto hesitated. "Y-yeah but…can we even know that for sure?" he asked softly. "He knows what was what is, and what will be, after all. For all I know, I see him all the time."
The blonde said it in a joking manner, so Kakashi gave him a small smile in return, "I suppose you're right."
Naruto grinned back, and they stood there for a short comfortable moment before Kakashi cleared his throat. "I suppose you'll be on your way now…"
Naruto lost his grin, and nodded his head. "Yeah."
"And you know the way?"
"Got the directions right here," he said waving a folded sheet of paper. "It's at the end of Mushroom City, so it's a ways away. Like three trains and a few buses…" he trailed off and looked at the paper to make sure.
"Naruto." Kakashi said, bringing the blonde back to his attention.
"Hmm?"
"Take my car."
Naruto stopped looking at the sheet of paper and looked up with wide eyes. "What?" he asked dumbly.
"Take my car," the ex-policeman repeated, smiling. "Or rather Iruka's—but he won't miss it."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. He'd seen Iruka whack-a-mole Kakashi upside the head more than once after the man claimed Iruka wouldn't have problem. "A-are you sure? Iruka—"
"If Iruka has a problem with it, it won't be you he blames. I'll…distract him if he gets riled up about it."
Naruto stared hard at the gray haired man, before the implications of a "distraction" caught up with him. He felt his face heat up in record time. "U-uh, w-well then. I guess…uhm…thank you." He finished lamely.
Kakashi nodded his head. "No problem."
"Before I go, though," Naruto said, looking bashful. "I have to go online again, and print out directions—for car instead public transportation this time."
Kakashi shook his head. "You're running Iruka and I out of paper, Naruto."
Naruto opened his mouth to apologize, but Kakashi raised a hand and smiled.
"I'm only playing with you. If Iruka and I were worried about printer paper we wouldn't let you do this in our apartment in the first place. Just do what you need to do."
Naruto was going to say something in return, but when he found he had nothing to say, he simply nodded his gratitude.
It ended up being a one and a half hour drive, an hour less than what Voogle Directions promised taking public transportation would take. It wasn't that Mushroom City was far from his apartment, it was just that he had to drive to the very end of the city to arrive to his destination, and said city was like a very long island.
He'd stayed on the highway the entire time, so he didn't have a chance to nostalgically look at the streets he used to walk to get around. He only got off the highway at the very last exit, and took the local route across an unfamiliar part of Mushroom City to the Mental Institution he'd researched.
It was the Institution for the Mentally Damaged. It wasn't an asylum—they stressed that in their website—it was a place where people "voluntarily" admitted themselves to psychiatric care. If it wasn't voluntary, then they could be "forced" to sit down with psychiatrists and get help for their mental dilemmas. Everywhere he looked, Naruto read that the Institute for the Mentally Damaged didn't start with a good rep. Most of the people admitted killed themselves because of poor cell security, or simply didn't get better after psychiatric visits, but after a reform bill passed in '79, for the remodeling of psychiatric practice in mental institutions, the place got better.
Naruto could park his car fairly close to the building, which looked about five stories high from his position on the ground. It was a white, lean structure that towered gloomily despite its color. It was probably because of how terribly depressing today was. It had rained earlier, so the left over clouds were still covering the sun which had yet to make an appearance all day.
Naruto made his way into the building hesitantly. He suddenly realized that he had no idea how he was going to end up contacting Kabuto Yakushi in the first place. Would he just ask someone to see him? Would he fake a mental disorder or something? No, that wouldn't be a good move. What if he was admitted to a cell or something?
When Naruto entered the building, he was surprised by how dim the front lobby was, much dimmer than the hospital had been. The front desk added to the dimness, in its very blah brown. An old woman sat on the wooden desk, staring ahead at a computer screen. She turned to look at Naruto when he walked in. She gave him a tight smile.
Naruto nodded hesitantly. The woman wasn't that old, now that he was nearer to her. She was probably in her mid-forties or so. The bun she had on her hair was so tight her eyebrows looked artificially lifted. Her skin was a very pasty pale, and she wore no make-up or jewelry. Her outfit was a very lax gray, which only added to the washed out color of her face.
Naruto fidgeted a bit. Everything so far, was quite depressing. How could anyone be expected to get better mentally, in a place like this?
"Hello, sir. How may I help you?"
"U-uh…" Naruto blanked. What should he ask? If he could see Kabuto? "U-uhm, I—"
"Are you checking yourself in?" she asked tentatively. "If so, you are in the wrong section of the building. You'll have to—"
"No, no." Naruto said quickly. "I-I'm not. I'm here to see Kabuto Yakushi."
The woman blinked. "Oh. Do you have an appointment? I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you—" she began looking though papers on her desk.
"Ah, no ma'am, this is my first time here."
The woman looked at him sadly. "I'm afraid you'll have to make an appointment with Dr. Yakushi before you can see him."
"Please," Naruto started, dismayed; he couldn't have come all this way for nothing, "I'm not here for any, uh, psychiatric help. I-I just need to ask him a few questions."
The woman paused. "Are you a reporter? Dr. Yakushi doesn't—"
"No, nothing like that. I'm asking about…a relative. I want to know…what kind of care he had here."
The woman hesitated. "Are you here to collect evidence to press charges against Dr. Yakushi? If so, I'm sorry but you must come with your lawyer and a form of—"
"No, nothing like that." Naruto said, exasperated. "I just—I'm curious to know what kind of care my relative had here. A cousin. I-it's nothing that will take long. Maybe fifteen minutes or so—"
"Some of Dr. Yakushi's appointments are that long…"she said warily. "I'll have to check in with him to see if you're allowed. Today is a slow day, so maybe…" she trailed off as she picked up the phone. She dialed something too short to be a phone number, so it was probably an extension, and waited a few short moments before someone on the other line picked up.
It was quiet in the lobby, so Naruto could almost understand what the deep voice on the other end was saying.
"Dr. Yakushi?"
"Yes, Ms. Fri…r? What is it?"
Naruto couldn't really understand the rest of the woman's name.
"I have a man here to see you. He says he would like to ask you a few questions about a past patient. A relative. He doesn't have an appointment."
"What is his name?"
"Ah," she hesitated and looked at Naruto.
"Uzumaki Naruto." The blonde whispered.
"His name is Uzumaki Naruto, sir." She said quickly.
"I've never…"
The rest Naruto couldn't catch.
"Yes, I understand that sir. This is his first time here."
"Which…he…about?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. He didn't even get the gist of that one.
The old woman turned to look at him. "Which relative is it that you would like to ask him about?" she asked. "He might have limited memory on the exact person you're interested in."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Uh…" What was he going to do now? He should have never said that he needed to know about a relative. The psychiatrist was bound to know that Gaara had no relatives by the name of Uzumaki Naruto. Maybe he would have to make up a shit story about being a long-lost cousin or something.
"A-ah. Gaara Sabako Kaze." He said quietly.
The woman visibly tightened her hold on the phone. "G-Gaara?" she whispered to Naruto, almost with a betrayed look.
There was a questioning sound on the other end of the line.
Naruto cleared his throat. He started this, so he would go through with it. "Yes. Gaara Sabako Kaze."
The woman seemed to be trying to get her bearings together. She swallowed with difficulty, and went back to the phone. "He wants to ask about Mr. Kaze, sir." She said softly.
There was an obvious pause on the other line, and Naruto prayed silently in his head.
"…him up." He heard on the other line.
"Yes sir." She said. Then she hung up and turned to look at Naruto. "The doctor will see you now. I-I'm not sure for how long; he didn't specify." She stood up from her chair and rummaged in a drawer on the other side of her desk. She took out what looked like a wooden plate. "You'll have to carry this with you." She said, handing him the plate. "It's a pass, so the nurses don't confuse you with a wandering patient, if you come across them."
She handed Naruto the pass, and the blonde was surprised to find it lighter and thinner than he'd originally thought. "Thank you." he said. "So..."
"Dr. Yakushi's office is on the third floor. Room 323, last door after the staircase and third door to your right after that elevator." she pointed to her left and when Naruto followed her finger saw an enormous red elevator door, bright enough to shed a little color on the room but still so out of place.
"Okay," he said nodding his head. "Room 323 you said?" he asked, making sure.
The woman nodded quickly and sat back in her chair. She seemed to be very eager to have him go on his way. "Yes, 323." she said curtly.
Naruto raised an eyebrow before going towards the elevator.
When he stood in front of it he took a short moment to simply stare at the enormous thing. How did he miss it when he walked in the building? He pressed the button, which he'd spent an even longer moment trying to find, and waited less than thirty seconds before it arrived.
The inside of the elevator complemented the exterior with its wide-open space. Naruto felt like it was larger than his own bedroom.
He pressed the button for the third floor but the elevator stopped on the second. When the doors opened, Naruto felt his eyes go wide at the sight before him. The second floor was so much different than the lobby, from what he could see. The light that came from outside the elevator was blinding, and an incredibly large man holding onto the hand of an estranged-looking woman with stringy dark hair, glared at him.
"Is it going up?" the large man asked, with a rough voice.
"Uuuup!" the woman beside him screamed savagely, and Naruto jumped.
"U-uh, y-yes it is." The blonde responded quickly.
The large man entered the elevator without a word, and dragged the estranged-looking woman with him. She looked left and right nervously and out of nowhere began gnawing on the giant hand that held hers.
Naruto felt like his eyes would pop out of his skull, his eyes were so wide. The third floor came quickly and he rushed outside, determined not to look back at the two in the elevator.
"Hey. Boy."
Naruto gulped. No such luck. "Uh, y-yes?" he said, turning to look at the man.
"Do you have permission from your caregiver to wander the hospital." He didn't even say it like a question.
"U-uhm, I-I'm not—" he paused, remembering the pass. He pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to the huge man.
He only received a grunt in return, and the elevator proceeded to close in his face.
The blonde raised an eyebrow and settled the shiver that wanted to run along his spine.
When he looked at his surroundings he was surprised to find it bland and boring again, with dull yellow walls, and dark brown doors.
Room 323…
He didn't remember how many doors from the elevator the woman downstairs said Yakushi's office would be from the elevator, but he knew he had to make a right turn. A few doors down and in less than ten seconds, Naruto found himself standing in front of room 323. There was a small window looking into the room, and a nameplate that said the doctor's full name in bold letters.
He knocked.
Once...twice—
"Come in."
Naruto barely heard the words, and opened the door on the chance that he heard something more than anything else.
When he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, he saw an older man, a little shorter than he was, with a course beard, cut close to his face, and long white hair tied in a ponytail that swayed as he stood up and nodded to the blonde.
"Uzumaki Naruto?" the man asked. He attempted a smile, but it died as if the effort he needed to make it was too much.
"Uh…hello." Naruto said nodding his own head. "I—"
"Are you with the police?" the doctor asked him before he could get a word out.
Naruto paused. "I'm not—" he had to stop then, because could he really say that he wasn't with the police? Any important information he could get out of this guy, he would tell the authorities, or at least Kakashi. He wasn't completely confident in his skills alone, but he would try his best.
"I'm not really with the police." He said finally. "I'm…I kind of involved myself in an investigation…and now I'm just here to find out more information."
The older man looked at him with steady eyes, as if trying to find something he was trying hide. "Does this have to do with you being related to him?" the man asked carefully.
Naruto's eyes widened a bit about that. "I….uh…" Shit. Did he really want to continue to lie about that? He didn't want it to somehow taint the information the man would give him. "I actually—"
"You must be from his mother's side…" the man said, looking at him with eyes squinted. He seemed to be taking all of Naruto in. "You have hair like his uncle, and his sister…"
Naruto blinked. Was he talking about Gaara?
"Those eyes though…I've never seen that color in the Kaze family. Who was your mother? Your father?"
Naruto gulped. "Erm…h-his last name was Uzumaki—but I didn't really know him." He finished quickly.
The doctor raised his eyebrows. "Then you were raised by a Kaze?" he asked.
Naruto shook his head violently before he could think. "I—I didn't know my mother…either…" he finished lamely.
The white haired man frowned. "Then how are you sure you are related to Gaara?"
"Uh…" Naruto started. "I asked around…and I looked into my family history…a-and it turns out I'm his cousin. H-half cousin." He attempted a smile, but it died in the narrow eyes of the psychiatrist. "O-on his father's side…" he finished with what he would never admit was a squeak.
The doctor seemed to take a pause then, and tilted his head. "I never knew Mr. Kaze had a sister as well…"
"Well he did." Naruto said finally, wanting the conversation over as quickly as possible. "And I want to ask you questions about my cousin—half cousin—who you treated here."
"And that would be Gaara Sabaku Kaze…" the man seemed to say it unbelievingly, and he looked at the blonde with a suspicious eye.
Naruto stared back, and grinned, for good measure.
Kabuto looked taken aback by that. "Alright then, Mr. Uzumaki." He said, going back to his desk. "Have a seat there, if you will." He pointed to a comfortable looking chair in front of his desk.
Naruto took the chair cautiously, but had to relax when he realized just how cozy the thing was. He sunk further into the plush seat and sat up when he saw the white-haired doctor looking at him with an unplayfully raised eyebrow.
Naruto cleared his throat nervously, and began to speak. "Uhm…Since you're his pasychiatrist…I'm sure you're well aware of Gaara's…past. His crimes, his sentences to jail….his escape…"
The man before him visibly swallowed. "Yes, I know all about that." He said quietly, not quite looking into the blonde's eyes. "What is it exactly that you would like to know? How I treated Gaara? How he could have possibly turned into such a…" he stopped himself and looked to the gound.
Naruto looked at the doctor for a few moments, not really understanding his behavior, before he continued. "Well recently…there have been certain events…events that are leading me, and a group of others—city officials—to believe that Gaara is involved in an incident concerning recent missing persons, murdered individuals, and identity theft."
Kabuto shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "What are you saying? That he's becoming active again?" he asked apprehensively.
Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "For all we know he's always been active. It's just that now he's taken it back to this area, and we want to catch him before he escapes again—before anyone else gets hurt."
Kabuto shook his head, looking miserable, and exhaled a long breath. "He's in the city?" he whispered, looking at Naruto as if betrayed.
Naruto blinked before shaking his head. "We believe so, yeah."
"You keep saying "we"." The doctor said after several moments, seemingly getting his bearings together. "If you're with the police just tell me. You don't have to cover-up. I won't hide anything from you." He said.
Naruto swallowed. He wondered if the man would give him more information if he thought he was with the authorities. Would he get in trouble if he said he was a police officer? Naruto shook his head. He knew there was a law somewhere that made it illegal to impersonate anyone, even if it was for a small time. But still…
"I'm…" he looked to the side, as if the dull walls would give him the answers. "…a detective." He finished finally. He knew he made a mistake the moment he said it. He didn't know what had a higher ranking, but he knew that saying he was a detective had to be worse. Detectives had a certain kind of skill that he knew he wouldn't be able to fake, and now this doctor was going to be telling him information he would probably only trust to an official. "I'm not related to Gaara. I-I was just hoping that would get you to talk to me..." he finished lamely.
When the blonde turned to look at said doctor, he was surprised to see a look of utter misery in his face. "Detective…" the man whispered to himself, shaking his head, as if he didn't hear Naruto's last confession.
Naruto squirmed a bit in his chair. Did this man have him figured out already?
"All right." said Kabuto, after a long minute of silence. "What is it that you would like to know?"
Naruto said nothing for a while, trying to understand the man before him. Was he upset that he had to talk to Naruto? The blonde didn't know what would constitute the look of devastation that was on the doctor's face. Maybe he just didn't want to talk about Gaara…
"Well?"
Naruto blinked, coming back to himself. "Right, uhm," he dug into his left pocket and pulled out a small stack of papers. "I have a few reports you'd written on Gaara from quite a few years back, " he said. "You explained what you could about his condition, I think, but most of it is illegible." He handed the papers to the doctor.
Kabuto took them and lay them out in his desk. He took a pair of glasses from the side of the table and put it on as he looked carefully at each haphazardly kept document. "Yes." He said, nodding his head. "I remember this…The police came into my office before my office and demanded all the notes I'd written on Gaara." His eyes dimmed slightly. "When I asked them why they needed it…they told me the heinous crimes Gaara had committed the night before…"
Kabuto shook his head and sat back in his chair. "I gave them a lot more than this. Almost everything was transferred to the psychiatric personnel he would be provided in prison."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "So you're saying the police have a hold of more than just this?" he asked.
Kabuto shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I just know I gave them all that I could on such short notice. They needed all the information they could get on this twelve year old boy, because they were preparing for a plead of insanity on Gaara's side of the court."
Naruto shook his head, not understanding. "Wait, I don't…the policemen were taking some sort of precaution?"
The doctor nodded his head. "The police and his siblings wanted nothing more than to put Gaara in jail for a long time, but after the police found out he was admitted into psychiatric care, they took measures to access all documents towards that psychiatric care, through myself, in order to counter all cases that would inevitably be made towards a plead for insanity."
Naruto took his index and middle finger on both hands and pressed it to wither side of his temple. He made a promise to himself that when he didn't understand something, he wouldn't just shove it off as smart talk and move on; he was going to try to understand it—and what Kabuto just said was floating in his mind as nonsense at the moment.
So, he thought to himself, Gaara's siblings and police officers wanted to put Gaara in prison, and they wanted to be ready for an insanity plea that Gaara's lawyers could make, so they acquired all information on his psychiatric files in order to be better prepared?
Naruto shook his head. Even with the information organized in his head, he still didn't get it. "What kind of investment did the police have in Gaara's case? I've never heard of police officers getting involved with court dealings like that."
The doctor shook his head. "I don't know. All I know is that they wanted the information, just in case."
"And did your notes help?"
Kabuto shook his head, looking uncommitted rather than sad. "They didn't need to do their research. Gaara pleaded guilty on all counts."
Naruto let that sink in a bit. "Was it an advantage that his lawyer wanted to use in order to reduce the number of years Gaara would have to spend in prison or—"
"No." Kabuto said. He was shaking his head before Naruto finished his sentence. "It was clear to everyone that Gaara felt no…remorse for his actions. And any plea for insanity would go unsupported by him. Lawyers and their clients have a sort of trust with each other, and I know that no trust was exercised between those two, so any lines they would have rehearsed towards that plead would have been for nothing…" the doctor trailed off, and rubbed his chin morosely.
"How do you know that?" Naruto asked softly.
Kabuto exhaled slowly. "Because I was present at every court date…and despite being known as one of the best murder-case lawyers in the entire Northern-sect of this country, his lawyer came almost completely resigned and unprepared to each court date, offered up no witnesses to support Gaara's side, and delivered an appalling closing speech to the already unimpressed jurors." He said, with a tone that said it was obvious.
Naruto furrowed his eyebrows. "That's…hardly fair." He said slowly. "For Gaara to get such an incompetent lawyer—"
"Did you hear what I said?" Kabuto said, interrupting him. "They hired the best." He sat up in his chair and wiped a nervous hand across his top lip. "The best." He repeated. "And Gaara made her crumble." He whispered harshly. He leaned forwards, as if in urgent need of catching Naruto's attention, "Are you listening to me?" he asked. "Gaara. Made. Her. Crumble."
Naruto blinked, shaking his head jerkily and sitting up. "I don't…What are you saying? How did Gaara do that?"
Kabuto leaned back in his chair and looked to the floor. "I don't know. But I suppose he did the same thing he did to me during our sessions…" he trailed off for a moment, before looking into Naruto's eyes again. "Gaara simply has… a certain quality about himself…that makes people think…too hard about the world…their lives…and the purposes they have in the life they have been given." He finished with a shrug and offered another awkward smile that died away as soon as it tried to appear.
Naruto swallowed and squirmed a bit more in his chair.
When neither of them spoke for several moments, the doctor spoke. "Very shortly after Gaara was sentenced…" he started lowly. "His lawyer, the Croatian woman—Ten-Ten something or other—killed herself." He finished with a shake of his head.
Naruto inwardly gasped, and sat up. "What? Why…?" he asked carefully.
When Kabuto only looked at him with knowing eyes, Naruto gave back an annoyed look.
"Yes, I know it's Gaara this and Gaara that—but how, exactly? What does he do to make these people so…" he didn't want to use the word depressed or suicidal.
"Afraid." Kabuto finished for him rolling his shoulders as if nursing a cramp. "He makes them afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
Kabuto paused for a few moments before he answered, "Afraid of living." He replied plainly. Then he looked up at Naruto with questioning eyes, as if he himself was figuring this out. "He puts fears in their hearts by emphasizing the pointlessness of living…He makes death seem…" he shrugged his shoulders and looked to the side of the room again, with contemplation in his eyes. "…welcoming." He finished in a whisper.
Naruto blinked. "…And…Gaara's always been like this?" he asked softly. "Even in the beginning, when he first started meeting with you?"
The doctor narrowed his eyes at the distance, in thought. "In the beginning?" he asked himself quietly. "I suppose in the beginning he just had a budding potential for monstrous things." He shrugged noncommittally. "But you can't really think that until those things have been done, can you?" he said, shaking his head. "Not with a six year old boy."
"What are you talking about?" Naruto had to ask, because Kabuto seemed to be talking to himself.
Said man looked at Naruto with steady eyes. "I'm saying, when I first met Gaara…he wasn't really the type I'd pinpoint as a future murderer. Only a very strange boy, ahead of his years."
Naruto nodded and folded his hands. "Can I ask, if it's not too private, how exactly does a six year old get admitted to a place like this? Did his parents think he was weird from the beginning or—"
"It was nightmares." The doctor replied. "His mother came to me, and asked if her son could speak to me, from time to time. Perhaps find the origins of his night terrors…"
"His mother…" Naruto nodded. "Were she and Gaara…close? I read in one of the files that she died in the summer of…'93, I think? Gaara was seven."
Kabuto folded his hands together and nodded. "You've done your research. Yes, I believe it was '93. She died sometime in the early morning, and Gaara came to our session alone for the first time that day. I think I might have been the first one to know, after himself, that his mother died…"
Naruto shook his head. "Wait, what? How exactly did she die?"
"Gaara's mother committed suicide." Kabuto said waving a hand. "He saw it happen, told no one in his family, and came to me merely hours afterwards. It sounds like he left her for dead, doesn't it?" he added with a small smile, responding to the blonde's obvious look of anger.
"That's exactly what it sounds like, " Naruto exclaimed. He and his mother had not been the best of friends but he would never watch his mother die. "Gaara watched his mother commit suicide and didn't tell anybody—?"
The doctor raised a hand, effectively shutting Naruto up. "I know how it sounds…I might even go as far as to say that Gaara might have…had a hand at killing his mother…but know this well:" he said, looking at Naruto with grave eyes. "Gaara loved his mother," he whispered. "It was a deep love that most children don't understand until their much older, but Gaara…he loved her." He nodded solemnly and leaned back into his chair.
"How can that even be?" Naruto asked incredulously. "You don't not freak out when someone you love is committing suicide—"
"I can't tell you why it is the way it is." The doctor said, interrupting Naruto again. "But I can tell you why I think so." He sniffed and took one of the papers from his desk. It was the sheet with several pictures of Gaara on it. He traced one of the earlier photographs with a finger. "His mother, whenever the topic of our conversation, was always talked of in positive regard—although one might not realize the regard as positive, until you get to know Gaara a little better. He spoke in this…sort of…riddlesque type of tone. He never said things straight forwards. Everything he said was something I needed to decipher. And when it came to his mother…" he sighed and looked away. "He would say the most...strange and…convoluted things. It was quite tiresome actually…to have to read into them, and understand what on earth he was trying to say…
"But after a while, I realized that Gaara simply…really loved his mother…I might go as far as to say he was in love with her." He shook his head again and continued to look in the distance. "Even after his mother was pronounced dead—it was all over his local news for a time, I acquired some clippings—he still spoke of her. As if she was still alive, really. When I asked him what he thought of his mother's passing, he would tell me…" he paused, searching for the words. "…'she's finally an eternity'…"
Naruto squinted his eyes at that. "Were those his exact words?"
Kabuto shrugged. "Almost exactly. He said a lot of strange things. Some of them I've committed to heart, and others lay jumbled in the reserves of my mind…" he trailed off again.
Naruto leaned back in his chair. He'd brought a blank sheet of paper and pen to take notes on, and wondered if it would be rude to take out. He wrinkled his nose. Well he was a "detective" now, wasn't he? It would be classic of him to take notes.
He dug into his other pocket and pulled out the scruffy lined paper he'd brought with him, alone with the pen. "Excuse me for a moment." He nodded to the doctor before he spread the wrinkled sheet on his knee and began to write.
"Would you like a notepad?" Kabuto asked politely from behind his desk.
Naruto looked at him, then at his pathetic piece of wrinkled paper on his knee. "Uh…if it won't be any trouble…" he trailed off bashfully.
Kabuto shook his head and sat up to open a drawer at his desk. "Not at all." He threw a small thing Naruto's way, and when the blonde caught it, he saw it was a miniature notepad.
"You can keep that." Kabuto said.
Naruto nodded his thanks and began to write quickly.
Admitted for nightmares, close to mother, talks in riddles—
"So, " Naruto continued. "Since we're on the topic of his mother, can you tell me a bit about his family?" he asked.
Kabuto tilted his head looked at Naruto strangely.
"What…?" Naruto asked carefully.
"Nothing." The man said quickly. "I'm just wondering why a detective doesn't already know everything about Gaara's family. All the information should be in whatever file city officials use…"
Naruto blinked, and hesitated. "Uhm…i-it's just…I'm new." He responded. "And this is sort of…my first assignment. To get information from you…"
Kabuto looked disbelieving, and almost angry. "They would let a beginner work on something that has to do with Gaara?" he asked incredulously.
Naruto swallowed with difficultly. "It's just that…they're afraid that Gaara will recognize them…and their tactics, so they want someone new on the job. Someone he doesn't know…"
Kabuto sunk back in his chair and hummed deeply. "I see…" he said in a low tone. "That's…a bit selfish of them, don't you think? Risking your life like that."
Naruto blinked. He was so busy reveling in the awesome lie he'd just told, that he was lost when it came to answering that. When he could say nothing for long moments, Kabuto raised his hand, disregarding the statement, and began to speak again.
"From what I know, Gaara lived with his siblings, his father, his mother until her passing, and his uncle."
"The one who Gaara burned to death?"
"To death?" Kabuto said raising an eyebrow. "He was burned alive—but not to death. He's still alive. Last time I checked he was admitted into a lunatic asylum shortly after he'd healed from most of his burns."
Naruto nearly chocked. "He's still alive? How?"
Kabuto shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose he had a strong will to live?" he suggested non-committedly. "I never really thought about that…I believe he came to live with the Kaze family after the mother passed, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure I can give you an accurate take on the relationship Gaara had with the rest of his family besides his mother, but from our sessions, I've gathered that he didn't particularly care much for his siblings. When we spoke of them usually brushed them off as just…people living in his house I suppose. They were much older than he was, so I'm guessing he found it hard to connect with them…"
"Do you know how he felt about his father, and his uncle?" Naruto asked. "They're the ones who he killed, after all."
"To tell you the truth, and I'm ashamed to admit this, we rarely spoke of either of them…" he stoked the hairs on the side of his face and chin. "If I was asked then, who Gaara would kill, if he had the chance, not only would I put it passed him to murder in the first place, I would also not suspect his father or his uncle. His father had to have been a good provider, since I'm sure he was the one who handled payments for Gaara's sessions with me…"
"How do you know that?"
"Well…my services aren't cheap." He said, stroking the hairs on his face again. "And I did a bit of research myself in the months immediately following Gaara's first sentencing. Apparently his father, who I'm guessing made a small salary off of being a pastor, had a wealthy half- brother on his mother's side."
"His dad was a pastor?" Naruto asked, forgetting about the rest of the information for a moment. "Like a church guy?"
Kabuto nodded his head. "Yes, he led a church in Suna—one of the many small towns right outside Mushroom City."
Naruto wrinkled his nose, and wrote 'Suna' in his notepad. "Was Gaara born there?"
Kabuto shrugged. "I'm not so sure he was born there. Most of the small towns outskirting Mushroom use the city's hospital and clinics for all their medical needs. Unless it was a home birth, I'd bet Gaara was born in this city. I can tell you that he lived most of his young life in Suna, however."
Naruto nodded. He didn't know much about Suna, but he knew his own parents lived in Konoha, which outskirted the city on the northern side. He knew there were other little towns, like Cloud, which was a hilly place Naruto driven across once or twice with friends, Mist Village, where a lot of young people went to find work while they were still attending high school, and Sound District, which was more like a lowly populated city..
"When you say that your services aren't cheap," Naruto started slowly, "Is it really expensive?"
Kabuto did a non-committing side to side wave of his hand. "My usual patients or clients come from high-end middle class families. I didn't inquire about the status of Gaara's family then, but if they were able to pay, I suppose they were well enough off."
Naruto 'hmmed'. "And this half-brother person…did he like…pay for all of this?"
Kabuto shrugged. "I'm not so sure how the arrangement went. I just know that his half-brother is the founder an oil company—Kage-Oil, you might be familiar with it, but it's more famous oversees towards the west."
Naruto vaguely recalled the name of the company, but they sounded powerful enough.
"I don't know if it's a rumor, but lately Kaze's first son, his name escapes me, is working with his half uncle right now, trying to merge two companies."
"Kankuro?" Naruto asked, wondering if he got the name right.
Kabuto nodded. "Yes, I think that's what his name was. Kage-Oil, and a Kaze Mining company are joining in a sort of partnership. Kazekage Fuel they're going to call it…" he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't pay much attention to business news like that, but there you have it."
Naruto nodded. He read online that Kankuro made something of himself after going to college at one of the nation's top schools, but he wasn't interested enough in Gaara's older brother to continue his research.
"Do you have any idea what the mother did?"
"From what I gathered, she was simply a stay at home mother." Kabuto replied.
Naruto nodded again, and scribbled something else on his notepad. When he reviewed the contents he had so far, he looked at the first thing he wrote:
Admitted for nightmares…
"Can you tell me more about the nightmares Gaara was admitted here for?" he asked. He was surprised he forgot about the information in the first place.
Kabuto suddenly looked at uncomfortable as he did in the beginning of the session.
"Nightmares…" he repeated slowly, before he sat up in his chair. "They weren't really…nightmares to him." He said slowly. "I think his mother simply had him draw out his dreams on a piece of paper…and what Gaara drew disturbed her…"
"What did Gaara draw? Bloody guts and things?" Naruto asked, preparing himself for a bit of gory details. He'd seen scary movies like that, where haunted children drew disturbing things.
Kabuto pointed a finger and shook it knowingly at Naruto. "That's usually what one would expect when they're told a child is having disturbing dreams, isn't it? And it is usually the case for children with unstable minds. I've seen kids draw bloodied parents, mutilated pets, and such, but Gaara…" he folded his hands and looked at Naruto with dark eyes. "He drew his mother breast feeding snakes and spiders, he drew personified trees blowing fire into the faces of his siblings, he drew himself falling into a deep well with inflamed hands awaiting him at the bottom…" he looked like he would continue on, but stopped when he saw the look on Naruto's face. He gave a sad smile. "Yes, I know." He said morosely.
"That's so…disturbing." The blonde said lamely. His mouth felt dry.
"Especially for a six year old." Kabuto said. "But I wasn't as disturbed as I should have been. I was so young and naïve then; I actually put Gaara's strange mind on a positive level instead of negative level. I thought he was going to grow to be an artistic or literary savant of some sort. His pictures weren't mindless doodles of a brooding child; they were thought out descriptions that he made up in his mind. Something he thought about, do you understand? And the way he wrote was also strange for a child his age. Almost poetic, except I never understood what he was talking about unless I asked him directly. He writes things that only he can understand. Everything is like…an insider between him and his mind."
Naruto nodded. "Did you actually see the pictures and his writing?" he asked. "Or did Gaara just describe—"
"Oh, no I saw them. I was going to get them for you, but I'm not sure they're still in this office. I have a lot of Gaara' s written work however: writing prompts I had him do while in session. You could have a look at those if you'd like."
"I'd love to." Naruto said, in gratitude. "If it won't be any trouble."
Kabuto shook his head. "None at all; everything is organized so I'll find it fairly quickly and be able to return it back to its original place just the same. Just make sure not to put each entry out of order when you get them." he said, as he stood up from his desk. He walked to the end of his office where there were four cabinets, each of them five drawers tall. "Now as I was saying," the doctor said as he opened one drawer, "we have to remember that Gaara's pictures weren't just off the top if his head—they were in his dreams. Now, one can only dream about things and images that they've seen, heard, or had some sort of knowledge of, so I found the content of most of dreams very odd for his age."
"And Gaara didn't think they were nightmares?" Naruto asked carefully.
"Not at all." Kabuto said, closing one drawer and looking into another. "In fact he thought—no, not thought; Gaara never thought anything; he just sort of knew."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, most children in their early stages of life go about questioning everything, and they're usually very unsure about themselves, as they're still used to having adults make important decisions for them. But Gaara? Not at all. He spoke as if he knew things. As if there were facts instead of just ponderings. He even asked questions as if he already knew the answer—as if he was just seeing if you would come up with the same answer he'd already had in mind."
Naruto shivered. Gaara had that affect, even when he was a young boy? "Did that "knowingness" ever become a sort of legitimate thing? Did you ever take what he said to heart, because they would come true, or something like that?" Naruto knew he didn't form the sentence well, but he hoped the doctor understood.
To his surprise, Kabuto stiffened a bit a bit, before rolling his shoulders and looking the the cabinets again. "Do you mean if Gaara had a basis for being so confident in what he said? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I wouldn't trust my judgment on that. For a long while Gaara just creeped me out, excuse me if I'm being unprofessional, so everything he did or said seemed a bit…too significant." he finished lamely, and Naruto couldn't help but the doctor was downplaying something.
"But how was he like." Naruto felt compelled to ask. "Was he…I don't know, scary? Did he have a foreboding aura about him?"
Kabuto stayed silent for several moments, and Naruto watched as he pulled a file from his drawer and closed it back. He stood up from his crouched position and walked back to his desk. When he sat down he sighed. "That foreboding aura, you're talking about started a bit before his mother died. And when she did die…" he shook his head. "Well, Gaara was never quite the same again."
Naruto swallowed with difficulty. Did that mean that Gaara's mother's death made him into the man he was now? Was all this crime some desperate cry for the longing and lost love of his mother? "How did he change?" he asked softly.
The doctor stared at the desk for a long time. "Gaara was always…" he stopped, having talked before he had his words together. When he started up again he still didn't look at Naruto. "Gaara was always a bit…strange…ahead of his years. And I think…that if he'd remained that way he would have simply become a child with a few friends, and strange ideas. Probably interested in medieval or gothic trends, perhaps an avid reader, maybe. But…after he'd turned seven years old, something in his home-life was changing him. Diverting him from the path I'd originally envisioned for him." He smiled bitterly. "I think his mother's death was the line that crossed him over from being simply a strange child, to a cold-blooded murderer."
"But how?" Naruto asked, almost exasperated. "How does that work? I'm no expert in psychology or whatever but I don't think traumatic events work just like that."
Kabuto nodded fervently. "And you're right to think they don't just work like that; you have to have it in you before things simply affect you like that—But, with that in mind, remember that humans are capable of almost everything. If that's the case, then traumatic events canchange someone into something terrible, because the human species have it in them in first place." He leaned forwards in his chair and looked at Naruto with urgent eyes, wanting the blonde to really understand where he was coming from.
Naruto started shaking his head, confused, but Kabuto went on.
"Of course you have to take into account that, in a small sense this is an example of causation and correlation, however, the former doesn't result in the latter, because of possible third parties. But, if the third party is already present in every human being—that party being the innate ability to commit unlawful crimes and such things—then simple causes, such as a mother's death, can trigger someone to change completely. It's like a preexisting or precipitating cause before a mental disorder."
Naruto blinked, his mind completely numbed by his confusion. "I-I'm sorry…What?"
Kabuto shook his head. "I'm sorry; I ran off in a bit of a tangent. What I'm getting at is that it is possible that traumatic events can alter a person completely. In Gaara's case it was simply the…completion of a transformation of sorts. Murder and destruction…were closer to the surface of his character than the average human being—I reckon I can say that now."
Naruto blinked slowly. "You can say that now?"
Kabuto nodded. "I say 'now' because when I think back on my time with him, I realize things I didn't before." He shifted a bit in his chair, looking uncomfortable again. "Sometimes…when I think back…I remember things he said to me, and I can't help but think that he was…somehow telling me that he was going to do what he did."
"You mean stab his dad, and burn his uncle?"
"Yes."
"And do you have any idea why Gaara burned him alive? Why he killed his father?"
"No." the doctor sighed. "I told you: we hardly ever spoke of them during our sessions, Even in the prompts I made him write about his day, or his family life, he never mentions them."
"Those writings…can I see them?" Naruto asked, pointing at the portfolio on Kabuto's desk.
"Yes, of course." Kabuto said, giving Naruto the file. "In the beginning, the majority of the prompts I'd given him were about his dreams, but afterwards they became about monsters he claimed to exist, and other strange things—"
"What monsters?" Naruto asked, looking up from the portfolio. He remembered reading about Gaara claiming monsters came into his room.
"Well, after his mother passed…he started talking about non-human beings that would come into his room, monsters that wanted—not to eat him—but for him to eat himself."
Naruto raised both eyebrows.
Kabuto nodded. "He called these non-human things his shadows, and he said they wanted to watch him eat himself, consume himself, and become reborn as one them—his own shadow."
Naruto shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand that." He said.
"I didn't understand it myself, really. Still don't. But he always spoke strangely. He never gave direct answers. Everything was a metaphor or something out of nineteenth century novel. He started grade school by then, so I thought the education he was receiving was somehow influencing him, but when I asked him about school, he would brush it off like something insignificant." Kabuto sighed and toyed with the pen that lay on his desk. "I knew he was hiding something. He didn't want me to know something. Something was going on, and he wasn't telling me.
"Although I suppose, I wasn't really itching to find out at the time. I was…afraid of him, by then. He made me think of things I didn't want to think about, and he…he had an anger—did you read about that?"
"Yes—but can you elaborate a bit? I think you wrote in one of your reports that Gaara had a sort of disorder…"
"Yes, Intermittent Explosive Disorder. It wasn't really a diagnoses, but more a...hunch. It didn't immediately follow his mother's death, but about a few months after her passing, he began to blow up at simple questions I would ask him or if I didn't understand what he was saying…" the doctor shook his head sadly. "That anger lasted a few months, but then—"
"Wait, but what do you mean by anger?" Naruto urged. "You wrote in one of your reports that he didn't get angry like other people."
"He would get angry when I asked certain things," Kabuto started. "usually things about his home life. But he didn't get angry like a normal child would. When he's angry he just sort of simmers, and thinks about ways to hurt you." He ran a tired hand through his hair. "Not physically, but mentally. He could get under your skin, that kid. It was like he looked at one expression you made, and knew what was on your mind…" The man paused to shake his head again. "And his eyes. That's how you know when he's unhappy—he had an almost…demonic quality about them when I said something out of line. And it was…strange seeing that look on a young child. It scared me." He let out a breath.
"Whenever I did get something out of him," he continued. "something about how he felt and what he was going through, he would talk about those monsters coming into his room. There was a time where he told me about a different monster, one he wasn't afraid of. He said that this new monster was weak, and pathetic, and did not seek to change him, only to use him—or something like that."
Naruto nodded his head vaguely, without understanding a word of what the man had just said.
"There were also other disorders." Kabuto continued. He pointed to one of the paper's Naruto had given him. "This is the list I made of all the things he had symptoms of." He picked up the sheet and traced the list, with a finger.
Naruto recognized the report as one of the sheets he couldn't understand due to its ineligibility.
"There was the intermittent explosive disorder...and for a time he explained symptoms similar to Exploding Head Syndrome."
Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. "Exploding head?"
Kabuto nodded. "The name is crude, I know. But Gaara told me that sometimes, after dreaming peculiar dreams, he would hear incredibly loud noises, like banging and screeching, and bombs all in succession, for a few minutes."
"That...how is that even-?"
"It's a hallucination." Kabuto clarified. "They are only in his mind. It is sort of a phenomena. No one knows why people have it, and there is no known cure."
Naruto wrinkled is nose. "I'd go crazy if I ever had something like that." he said truthfully.
Kabuto shrugged, uncommittingly. "Some people are fine after experiencing something like that. Although it is very rare."
"Hmm. What else did Gaara have? Or at least, what else did you think he might have?"
"A few personality disorders, like Anti-social and Schizotypical disorder, and with a few of the stories he's told me, I've detected possible pyromania, which is a sort of obsession with fires and starting them, pain asymbolia, which is the inability to feel pain, and anhedonia which is the inability to feel pleasure."
"Where did you get these theories from? And what could you do to help him?"
"That's...just it." Kabuto said lowly. He looked away nervously and scratched the side of his head. "They're just theories. As a psychiatrist I can prescribe medication but because I could never directly diagnose Gaara with any sort of confidence, I..." the white haired man shook his head, and folded his hands in his lap. He didn't look at Naruto. "I gave him an assortment of pills. Off the grid. I went into the lab and stained them with colors so he would know which ones to take and when, and then I had him describe how he felt after every pill." Kabuto said those words quickly, and when he was finished, he sighed and sank back into his chair.
Naruto blinked. An assortment of pills? "You did get permission to do that, right?" he asked carefully.
"Off the grid." Kabuto repeated. "No one knew...except me and Gaara. I told him directly that I was performing a sort of experiment, and he wasn't opposed to it...he was almost...amused."
Naruto sat back in his chair, and squeezed the arms. "Isn't that...some kind of malpractice?" he asked, something like anger rising in his stomach. "Isn't that...sort of like substance abuse? You used Gaara like some sort of Guinea pig-"
"It was for his own good!" Kabuto half-shouted, sitting up in his chair. "I gave him a schedule of when to take each, and how to take them. They weren't even natural pills-more like suppelments to increase dopamine levels and increase the serotonine in his-"
"Wait, wait, wait." Naruto said, raising his hands. If Kabuto started with that science talk, he would lose track of the entire conversation and foget why he was angry in the first place. "How exactly did Gaara react to these...pills? And how did you even record those reactions?"
"We had sessions four days a week, and I had him take one after session, where he would report the effects to me the next day, and one before session,so I could see the results myself."
"And? Did the pills...do anything?"
Kabuto swallowed with a bit of difficultly. "He...uh...he didn't react well. The anti-depressant supplement made his heart race, without having the proper effect of giving some sort of elated mood, the pills for his lack of pleasure backfired as well, and most of the other pills made him tired, and even more unresponsive than usual...And some of them made him...sick. Vomiting, nausea...more hallucinations..." he looked away again, and wiped his mouth with a guilty hand.
"That's horrible." Naruto exclaimed, leaning forwards. "Do you have any idea what could have happened?" In all honesty even Naruto didn't know what could have happened. It just seemed so wrong that this man would do such a thing.
"Please," Kabuto started, pleadingly. "find it in yourself to not...report me. I know what I did was mistake, but I only gave him one batch of assortments so the... experiment" he himself cringed at the word. "only lasted about two months. In the process, I feel like I've found the only reasonable diagnoses for Gaara's abnormal behavior."
Naruto breathed in deeply and looked hard at the psychiatrist. He suddenly remembered the title he gave himself as a detective. If anything, the man was afraid and scared because Naruto would bring him to the authorities or something. But Kabuto's words caught up to him, and he swallowed the anger he found already rising past his chest. "And what would that be?" he asked lowy.
Kabuto leaned forwards, with wide eyes, and if Naruto was any closer, the blonde bet the docor would have tried to hold his hands in urgency. "Everything all molds down to one thing, my sessions and Gaara's life after the sessions including. Gaara is simply a psychopath."
Naruto blinked, trying to take it in. "A psychopath?"
Kabuto nodded slowly. "I..." he paused then, and looked down. "Not completely." he confessed. "He lacks the tendency to evade responsibly to things, and the mindless impulsive and irresponsible behavior, but he seems to have a strong case for other things: the utter lack of empathy for others, as proven by the murders he committed without so much as a grudge, and his incredible ability to manipulate."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "I forgot to ask about that. I remember reading in your reports about Gaara's manipulation. Elaborate." Naruto couldn't be polite, because of what he knew the man had done.
Kabuto visibly hesitated before he spoke. "Gaara was...He just knew what would make you do things he wanted you to. He knew what to say to make you follow his command, and he was an expert at...finding blackmail..." the man trailed off then, and looked away.
"Are you saying a six year old blackmailed you?" Naruto asked, disbelievingly.
"He was older then. Eleven or twelve." Kabuto countered lamely.
"And what did he do exactly?"
There was another long pause on the doctor's end. "I'd...rather not say." he said finally. "It's a private matter. Just know that Gaara finds a way to know everything about you without you knowing a spick about him. It's infuriating. It's as if he is an expert on human emotions, despite showing symptoms of schizoid who can barely interpet such things." Kabuto sat back in his chair angrily, his frustration showing,
"Everything that related to some sort of mental abnormality, I wrote it down, but I couldn't properly treat it because I could never be sure with him. That's why I-!" he stopped himself, and looked angrily away. "That's why I," he continued more calmly. "gave him the assortment of pills. I only wanted to find some answers and help him. That's all I wanted to do..." he trailed off and shut his eyes.
Naruto's eyes softened. He didn't agree with the man's methods but he couldn't stay mad at him.
He was too busy fingering the sides of the thick portfolio Kabuto had given him. It was brown thing, and Naruto could see a few yellow sheets peeking out from inside.
"Would you like to look through those now?" Kabuto asked lightly.
Naruto nodded his head without looking at the doctor, and snapped the button that was holding the portfolio together. It opened suddenly, and Naruto had to adjust so all the papers wouldn't come tumbling out.
"Careful…" Kabuto said from behind his desk.
Naruto nodded again, and took the first sheet out. It looked like it was ripped from a yellow notepad. There was a heading on top, written in different handwriting than the rest of the text: May, 1992. Prompt: nightmares.
Naruto read the first few lines of the tiny, neat handwriting.
I dreamed I was crying all the waters come out of my eyes and drowned the whole world I was not scard becos mommy was not drowned. she was on the bed and we took the bed like a boat and we floated away. but there was so many water and were high like the sun and it ate us up. Mommy and me burned and then I was awake but I was not scared becos fire is warm in my dreams
Naruto raised an eyebrow. The grammar left something to be desired…but the content. The blonde shook his head. What kind of six year old dreamed of everyone drowning and then burning in the sun with his mother? "I thought you said he was a genius…" Naruto joked with a small laugh, talking about the grammar.
Kabuto looked confused. "What do you mean? He was six years old when he wrote that."
"Is this something a six year old can't do?" Naruto asked. He wasn't an expert of child development, but he didn't really see anything special in what he'd just read.
"Six year old children usually can't form sentences correctly, and they aren't very good spellers. It's around that age that their vocabulary increases dramatically, but they don't know what to do with the words they know. But the grammar is beside the point. What about what he wrote?"
"It's…weird." Naruto said finally.
Kabuto nodded. "His mind really sets itself apart from other kids as he grows older. You'll see that his handwriting, his spelling, his writing style, changes drastically every few months. He is a fast learner."
Naruto frowned and skipped to the middle of the files.
Again, the date on the heading was a different handwriting than the actual piece.
October, 1995, Prompt: monsters.
There is a third kind, now. He does not do very much. Unless you count the eyes. He does not scream at me or beckon, like the others. He does not touch me, like the one. He sits there and watches. I like that he watches. I like that he watches me. Every turn of his eyelash will fall to caress the bones of each pitless peach. Of the skill, he will choose red and she will choose brown. They'll watch me, together and afterwards, before dawn has set and night has risen. Between time, we will all suffer. And I will be the only one he knows.
Naruto blinked. Then he blinked again. He…
He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to make of any of what he just read. The beginning seemed fine; Gaara was talking about a being of some sort—but then it started getting strange. He didn't understand the bit about the peach, or the colors—
It just didn't make any sense.
"What have you just read." Kabuto asked him.
"I…have no idea." Naruto replied, shaking his head. "S-something about…" he sighed and shook his head. "I don't even know how to summarize it. He talks about someone—or something watching him. Then he talks about and eyelash on a bone and—
"Oh yes," the doctor nodded his head knowingly. "I'm not sure the exact prompt you're referring to, but he used a phrase like that often. Did it have anything to do with fruits without seeds?" he inquired.
Naruto nodded. "In this he says a pitless peach."
Kabuto nodded. "When I asked him about that—since he'd written it so often—he told me that the fruit was the earth…and that the pit was its core—a core that, by his standards, doesn't exist. He said something else existed there. He said it was where all the monsters were, when they weren't with him."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You mean like…Hell?" he asked carefully.
Kabuto made a un-committing gesture with his hands. "Every time I would mention Hell, he would say "not as you know it" or something similar to that."
Naruto tilted his head. "Was Gaara…religious? I mean…his dad was a pastor and all—"
"I couldn't tell you." The man said regrettably. "But I don't…" he paused, looking for the words in the far side wall. "I can't say that he was or wasn't because he never really spoke as if he was the type. And when religion came up, he brushed it off the same way he did when I asked about school and his siblings.I can tell you that he was near fluent in latin, however. At least that's how it came across. I believe it came from having to read old bibles and such..." he trailed off, and looked at an old looking clock in the back of the room.
"Latin?" Naruto asked, incredulously. "How can you say that casually? A six year old kid knew latin?"
Kabuto shrugged. "I grew up learning a bit. I was in a religious family as well. But I didn't keep it up very well. Most of the latin I know is what I've retained from school, not what I grew up with."
Naruto shook his head. He failed Latin in high school, and Gaara was apparently fluent in the first grade.
"It really is no great feat." Kabuto continued, adding more injury to Naruto's pride. "Many children grow up bilingual these days-"
"But he was six years old." Naruto said.
Kabuto shook his head. "You seem to forget that I had treated Gaara for almost six years. He was going into the sixth or seventh grade when he was out of my hands. Think of Gaara as a very intelligent pre-adolescent, instead of a child now."
"Yeah, but latin isn't even a living language, anymore." Naruto countered. "It's rarely even spoken, so he must have studied quite a bit."
"Or just read the bible a lot." Kabuto suggested with a shrug. "It really isn't uncommon. One hundred years ago we'd all be fluent in Latin-if we were Christians."
Naruto waved a hand, dismissing the subject and not wanting to get into it. "So Gaara was a smart kid. What about after those two years in jail? Do you have any idea what he was like in high school or something? And how could he have kept up with his studies and been allowed in high school after being in jail for murder for two years?"
Kabuto shook his head sadly. "I wish I could tell you, but Gaara was out of my hands by then. He wasn't even allowed back home. He stayed in a foster home for a while, and was escorted to school every day by his legal foster guardian."
"And you have no idea why he might have killed all those people in that school?" Naruto asked, dismayed.
"No, I'm sorry. I know he was very intelligent and did well throughout." he said. "Gaara was home schooled for two years after he was released however. I believe he was also under strict house arrest for a time. By the time he entered Mushroom Tech through a sort of placement test, he was in the tenth grade."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. "So he killed people he only knew for a two years?"
Kabuto shook his head hesitantly. "Two years is a long time. It might sound like nothing because you probably spent four years getting to know your classmates, but anything could happen in that amount of time..."
"Yeah, but these are human lives we're talking about. Seventy five of them."
Kabuto nodded, but gave Naruto a smile that said he could do nothing about it. "What happened happened. And, to tell you the truth, I don't think it will do you any good to find a motive. Gaara was...unstable. If he has reasons...they probably wouldn't make sense to you."
"Whether they make sense or not, I still want to know what they are." Naruto countered, determined.
Kabuto sighed and gave the blonde a helpless look. "You've read the reports on the massacre haven't you? It says that Gaara showed no signs of any malice towards his classmates. He ignored them, and they ignored him. Teachers were warned of his past, so they were careful with him, and by the time graduation year came around, Gaara was just a regular kid with a dangerous past."
Naruto frowned. He read a bit about how Gaara didn't show any signs that he was ready to murder his entire graduating class, but he doubted Gaara earned any title towards normalcy simple because he chose to ignore people.
"The newspapers, for a time, said Gaara was jealous that he hadn't received the title as Valedictorian in his school."
"What?" Naruto asked, raising his eyebrows.
Kabuto nodded. "Gaara would have been in the running, since he had one of the top grades, but he was immediately disqualified for the title, since he didn't spend all four years in the high school."
"That..." Naruto started slowly. "is ridiculous."
Kabuto laughed softly. "Yes, it is. Someone like Gaara would never care about something like that."
Naruto sat up, suddenly remembering who the valedictorian of the school was.
"Do you know if Gaara spoke to anyone in the school at all? Maybe the Valedictorian himself?"
Kabuto looked at him helplessly. "I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about that. And the sad part is, it will be difficult to investigate because anyone who could have told you about Gaara during his days in high school...is dead. He killed students and teachers."
Naruto inwardly cursed. The doctor was right. It was like all evidence towards the man's behavior was wiped out, the memory of him lost in dead brain cells, all tucked up in graves.
"Damn..." The blonde cursed, lightly.
"I hate to rush you," Kabuto said lightly. "But I have an appointment in about fifteen minutes, and I'd like to prepare a bit before my patient arrives. I know you could spend all day looking at those files…"
Naruto looked up, dismayed. "You want me to leave?" He really didn't know what to say, or what to think. Kabuto was giving him a bulk of this information, but when it came to finding the core and reason for things, the psychiatrist had nothing to give. Naruto wouldn't say this visit was pointless, but he had hoped he would get more information than this.
Kabuto nodded. "But you could look at the last entry. It's very short. It will give an idea of what he was like right before the murders, I suppose."
Naruto made small sound of agreement and made his way to the very last entry. He passed a few drawings he had to pause at before he got there. They weren't pictures of breastfeeding, or deep wells, but houses on fire, babies flying into the sun, and other strange things. He reached the last page more than a little disturbed and read the entry. It was the neatest he'd seen the handwriting.
February, 1998
I will be the last one to find out why. He will be the first, always first, and maybe he'll explain before death lulls him to sleep. Maybe he will explain why he has eaten me away, eaten through my middle, inserted between my wit. But middles carry no wit, only circumstance. Motion will give up on me, on him, on my existence, and in the end my dreams will go into happenstance, and there will be nowhere else for me to go, but into the fire. My only fear, is that I will not burn.
There was a light tremor in his hands, as he read the last entry. He set everything back down and closed the portfolio. "T-that was…"
Kabuto nodded sadly. "I know. And to think, he wrote that a mere three days before he murdered his father, and burned his uncle nearly to death."
"And you said his uncle was in a lunatic asylum, right?" Naruto asked quickly, putting the portfolio on the desk, and taking his notepad. "Do you have any idea which one?"
Kabuto folded his hands. "There's only one lunatic asylum in Sound District, and I know that's where he is. Sound District Prison is coincidently also where Gaara was imprisoned…"
Naruto scribbled furiously. He wondered if he could pay that uncle a visit…
"Also," the doctor said. "I'm not sure if this will be of any help, but I know Gaara's sister still lives in Suna. I can't tell you exactly where, but you might find her. I visited once, in hopes of getting answers. I didn't get anything then, but maybe you can now."
Naruto wrote more on his notepad. He wasn't sure how Gaara's sister would help him, but he would keep the information in mind. When he was done, he looked up at the doctor, smiled and stood up. Kabuto stood up as well, and went around the desk to shake his hand. He looked like he did when Naruto had first arrived. Cautious, uncomfortable, and a bit apprehensive.
"A pleasure…" he murmured.
"Uhm, yeah." Naruto said back. "This has helped me a lot. I feel like I know a lot more about Gaara…but there's still more I need to know. I might visit his uncle."
Kabuto narrowed his eyes. "I'm not sure how that would do you any good. He's an insane man now. Only nonsense will come out of his mouth…"
Naruto pursed his lips in thought. "I should see him anyway," he said after a while. "He might tell me what you couldn't tell me about his home life and the relationship he had with the members of his family…"
Kabuto shrugged. "I suppose you can."
They let each other's hands go, and Naruto stood in front of the doctor awkwardly. "Ah…I guess I'll take my leave. Uhm—thank you again."
"Anytime…" Kabuto said slowly, putting his hands behind his back. "But before you go," he started, when Naruto made it to the door. "I just want to ask…Did you…tell a lot of people that you were on your way here? Did you…make plans beforehand…or store this date in a place where…others would know where you would be…?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. It was an awkwardly stated question, but he thought the man was asking if anyone else knew he was here. "Uhm…I decided I would come here this very morning." He said lightly. "No one really knows…" he didn't want to mention Kakashi, just in case Kabuto would get freaked out or something.
To his surprise the doctor suddenly looked sick.
"Are you alright?"
Kabuto shook his head. "I'm…I'm fine. I just…" he shook his head. "I-I have a meeting. It was a pleasure talking to you. Please go."
Naruto blinked. "Uhm…okay?" He opened the door.
"Oh, and Mr. Uzumaki," Kabuto said, stopping the blonde once again.
"What?"
"Do you...do you think I am forgiven?" he asked quickly.
Naruto blinked. "Forgiven for what?"
Kabuto blinked back, looking lost, before shaking his head. "Forget it." he said softly.
"Uhm..."
Kabuto looked at him with grave eyes then. "I don't know…what your higher-ups were thinking when they hired a beginner to find information on Gaara…but I'm telling you this now: get away from this while you still can. Drop the case, or whatever it is detectives do." His eyes turned very dark. "You have no idea what you're dealing with."
Naruto paused at the door. He felt a shiver like fingers going up his spine. He swallowed. "Uhm…" he contemplated saying something, but thought against it. Instead he nodded his head and stepped out of the room, high tailing it to the elevator before Kabuto decided he wanted to say something else creepy.
When he was on the first floor, the woman he'd spoken to was still at the desk, and she stopped whatever she was doing to look at him with wary eyes as he passed by.
"Uhm, thank you." He said anyway. "For helping me earlier." He put the wooden pass she'd given him earlier on her desk.
The woman said nothing back. She didn't even nod. She actually flinched when the blonde spoke, and lowered her head without taking her eyes off Naruto's form, exiting the building.
Naruto shivered.
The place was so freaking creepy.
When he got into Kakashi's car, he put his chin to the wheel, and thought for a moment. Should he go back home, or go visit a particular uncle at an asylum?
After a few moments of contemplation, Naruto decided it would be best to save that trip for another day. He didn't even really know where the asylum was—not to mention the amount of gas he had left in the tank.
Naruto shook his head. So he was going home now.
He felt for the notepad in his pocket.
At least he wasn't going home completely empty handed.
In a cool, dark room, with off-white walls, grey cabinets, and a timid mahogany desk, Dr. Kabuto Yakushi sits in his chair, shaking.
He has cancelled his appointments for the day.
He has told the receptionist not to transfer any calls.
He thinks about going home.
But he does not want to go home.
He does not know what he will find there.
Dr. Kabuto Yakushi wipes a shaking hand across his forehead, and takes a deep breath.
Should he have told him? he ponders, thinking back on the blonde boy.
The detective.
Should he have told him?
Dr. Kabuto Yakushi shakes his head, miserable.
He should have.
He should have.
Then the detective would know, how doomed it all was.
How doomed he was.
Dr. Kabuto Yakushi fiddles into his left pocket, and takes out a note. It is on a thin piece of paper, carefully folded into several folds until it is nothing but a tiny square.
Dr. Kabuto Yakushi places the note on the table, and watches as it unfolds, painfully slow, fold my fold, unraveling itself until the note lays illegible for the knotted creases that hide the words.
But that doesn't matter.
Because he knows what it says.
He was in my dreams. Entirely human, not machine. He has impostered himself a detective and he will roll in with the dawn. He will want what you have acquired through sacrifice at the expense of nothing. He is infinite noise, and I bring infinite silence, to which I find unwilling to exercise to his infinity. Withhold nothing. Let him know me. And you will be forgiven.
End of Chapter
Author's Notes
Word Count: 14, 600!
I'm so excited; the moment you've been waiting for is coming! The next chapter will be separated into three parts, and on the second part (drum roll please)...Naruto meets Gaara! I can't reveal how or in what context, but I'm so excited to write it, and have you guys read it. I'm in the process of writing it write now, and I ask for two weeks TOPS to finish this baby (the chapters not the story).
If you have a few questions, please don't hesitate to ask so I can clarify any weird information.
Also, a quick note since it might come up a lot in the next chapter: this story takes place in an imaginary world with imaginary settings (and some real settings) that are based on real places all over the world. So you might hear terms like Northern-sect (Naruto's part of the country (wherever that country may be)) and Southern-sect, and other places that I've manipulated from the Naruto-verse, like Sound, Mist, Leaf, and so on.
I hope this update came quickly enough for you guys. Now off to write the next one! My goal is five chapters for the summer time; we shall see how it goes.
Thanks for reading,
Tschüss.