Interview With Beth
By Fernomina
Cheesy music opens up on the stage with the cheesy red curtain back drop and the host, Fernomina is trying to bat away several items thrown at her by the studio audience who are also boo-ing and trying to leave the studio
A member of the audience calls out: Where's Dramaglitz? I'm sick of this stupid interview show
Fernomina: I'm sorry! She's busy! But we have Beth on tonight!
The audience settles back to their seats but they are obviously annoyed and they grumble softly.
F: Ok than. (Looking visibly relieved) It's the girl who cursed her team by taking the cursed Tiki. One of Heather's henches, the glasses wearing, the orthodontists dream and possibly the one nice person in the comp.
Beth walks in and stumbles on a loose shoelace, she falls onto her front and slides the rest of the way to her stool. She stands up and giggles nervously and perches herself onto the edge of the stool.
Beth: Hey.
F: Hey Beth. How are you?
B: I'm good thank you.
Awkward silence falls and finally Fernomina breaks the silence by coughing.
F: So I was watching last episode where you finally stood up to Heather. Well done! It must have taken a lot of guts.
Beth blushes
B: Yeah, I was really scared, 'cos, you know she's really intimidating (A droplet of spit streaks out of her mouth) But it was really empowering. Afterwards, I was still, like, scared but I felt, invigorated.
More spit flies out of her mouth and Fernomina tries not to flinch.
F: So we are doing this show where we get to ask the most awkward questions possible. To make sure that you answer truthfully...
B: You're joining me up to a lie detector and if I don't answer right I get poked with a cattle prod. Yeah, yeah I know.
Burly guys come and connect her up to the lie detector. Fernomina Blinks
F: How did you know?
B: Once you've been on one reality show you can pretty much figure out what's going to happen in any other one.(Lie detector beeps)
B:No seriously(The lie detector starts to beep louder and louder) Fine. Cody told me.
F: Ohhhh ok. So the first question is from a viewer who asks: "Beth, wherever you get your vests, you may want to opt for a size up, the one you have now is looking a little snug."
B: Hey! Don't diss the vest! My grandma made it for me! Look one of the badges says "World's greatest Grand-daughter" (Beth leans forward and shows Fernomina the Bade, Fernomina nods in repl,, but looks exceedingly awkward)Granny has a vest like this too! Except her badge says "Greatest Granny." It's so cool when we go out together everyone is super jealous of our vests.
F: Ok next questions, are you ready?
Beth snorts
B: Fernomina, I faced Heather, I can answer a few questions asked about my relationship status.
Fernomina nods and starts to read from her palm card.
F: Are you a man? Are you naturally ugly? Why are you THAT short?
Beth nods, not really that annoyed or disturbed.
B: Meh, call those awkward. Nope I am biologically a young lady, thank you. I don't think I'm ugly, I like to think I have inner beauty and I would like to inform you that I resemble many tv characters. Like, like... (Beth snaps fingers trying to jog her memory). Oh You know, that one who works for a magazine...
F: Ugly Betty?
B: Yeah! That's it. She's my idol. Her fashion sense is aaaaamazing!
Fernomina smiles, but is exceedingly confused. Beth fold her hands in her lap trying to be the epitome of cool, calm and collected.
B: Next question please.
F: Ummmm (Shuffling palm cards.) I don't think you've answered the last question.
Beth looks disappointed that she has to answer.
B: Do I have to answer this question?
F: Yeah you kind of have to. It's in your contract.
B: Stupid Contract. Ok, I know there has been a lot of controversy way I am... Height challenged
F: There hasn't been any controversy at all.
Beth shushs her
B: I also know that there are many vicious rumour floating around that I'm a dwarf, that I'm Chris's daughter...
Fernomina is very confused
F: Beth, there haven't been any rumours like that, most of them are just about Cody and Noah.
Beth continues without really hearing
B: I understand how fun it is to spread rumours but you need to realise that these can be very hurtful and damaging. There's a special word for this kind of behaviour, that is bullying-
Fernomina interrupts.
F: How about we go to the next question?
Beth looks crestfallen that her chance to talk about bullying has been cut short.
F: Ok next questions is one that we will have to employ the special skills of Madame DramaGlitz! Beth I will have to ask you to close your eyes.
B: Ooooh Goody. I love having my palm read!
F: No Beth, Madame Dramaglitz is going to put you under a trance so you can answer questions about your future.
Fernomina signals for the psychic to come out onto stage. Dramaglitz comes out of the side door with a purple turban on her head and looks annoyed at Fernomina who waves.
D: Fernomina. I told I can't come on this stupid show that you made up. I'm busy. And what is with this stupid turban? Purple isn't even my colour!
F: Shush! Madame Dramaglitz.
D: Fine. I'll if you promise to leave me alone later
F: Fiiine. Now put Beth under a trance.
Dramaglitz sighs and walks over to Beth.
D: You are getting sleepy... You are getting tired. You feel your body feel heavy with sleep... When I click my fingers your mind will be transported to the future
B: The future...
D: You will now answer the questions asked by Fernomina.
F: Ok Beth. I'm going to ask you about someone you haven't met before and you. In your advanced state of mind are going to answer.
B: Alright
F: Beth, how much did you pay Brady to be your boyfriend? Did you get a discount on him since you brought him up on tv, was it good for his 'modelling career'?
B: Noooooo. I met Brady at the orthodontist and it was love at first sight
The lie detector doesn't beep and fernomina frowns at it.
F: Next question, Brady is only going out with you to get close to Lindsay. What is your reaction?
B:Brady would never do that. He loves me and he is my one true love. I know that Lindsay would never go out with Brady even if he was going out with me to get to Linds, Bffls just don't go out with friends boyfriends. But if Brady and I ever broke up and he wanted to go out with Linds it would his and her decision.
Beth smiles. And the lie detector stays silent
F: Wow, you're telling the truth. Well those are all the future questions I have to ask, Dramaglitz, can you do the honours?
Dramaglitz grumbles but then comes up close to Beth.
D: You are awakening. When I click my fingers you will wake. In three, two one.
She clicks and Beth wakes up
B: Wow I feel kind of funny...
D: Side affect. Now can I go?
She doesn't wait for an answer before she walks off.
F: Ok, well those are all the questions I have today, Thanks Beth for joining us.
Beth still dizzy falls off her stool onto the floor just as the cheesy music starts and the studio lights up.
B: Uhhhhhh...
F: Umm can we get a medic?
a/n I hope you liked that :) The next writer for episode 11 is going to Love As It Is