I can't tell you why because I'm not really sure myself, but in that very moment as I watched Catherine, who sat on the floor coloring with my daughter, my mind flashed back to a memory that had haunted me for months.

It was fall, we had gone into town on a Cove Ops assignment, there was a homecoming parade going on. I remember the announcer on the loud speaker, he was saying something about the homecoming queen and her love of puppies. But mostly, I remember staring at Zach and being unable to shake the feeling that I hadn't really seen him in months, if ever.

"Why do I feel like I can't trust you anymore?"

I had wanted him to lash out. Wanted him to fight, to protest, to argue- to do anything but look deeper into my eyes and say, "Because the Gallagher Academy doesn't admit fools."

I could feel the growing lump in my throat and at that moment for no reason in particular, I dropped. I faintly heard my gun clatter as it hit the ground and Kat yell "Mommy!" I thought I heard Zach yell my name but in that moment, I had lost it all. I couldn't take down Catherine, or The Circle. I couldn't. And just like that my world went black.

It's a little known fact about Covert Operations that you will spend a lot of time with people you can't really trust. They may be traitors and liars. We call them assets and informants. But, mostly, in those days, I called him Zach.

"Gallagher Girl? Can you hear me?" His voice sounded muffled, as if it was coming from far off. My throat burned and my eyes felt as if they were glued shut. I tried to open them, to stay awake but before I knew it the darkness was engulfing me once again.

Abby was shaking her head.

"It's nothing squirt."

"What?" I demanded, turning to my mother. "What aren't you telling me?"

"We did find you Cammie." Mom looked down at the ground. She seemed worried and afraid and ashamed. "We were just a little too late."

Monitors were beeping, I still couldn't open my eyes but I could feel Zach's warm hand in mine.

"You are back Cam." Macey went into the bathroom and started to close the door. "Which means for the first time since you left, its okay for us to be mad at you for leaving."

"Why isn't she awake yet?" Zach's voice was worried, scared.

"This is perfectly normal Mr. Goode. Her body's in a state of shock and she'll come to when she's good and ready."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Zach snapped. "I will never believe anything you say!"

She looked at him and shook her head, smiled a little as she told him, "You are so like your father."

Then she looked past me and Zach, past Bex and Abby to where Agent Townsend stood by the door with his arms crossed.

"What do you think Townsend darling? Isn't he like you?" She looked at Zach again. "I think he's just like you."

And then she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

"I miss you mommy, daddy says you're just sleeping. Please wake up soon."

"Look Bex," I started. Suddenly I felt so tired, so worn.

"No, you look, this isn't the end." She told me.

"You think I got shot for…this? Bex snapped. "I'm a spy, Cam. I was born to do this-to be this. It's in my blood and I will do it until the day I die. It's who I am," my best friend said then leveled a glare at me. "The thing I don't think you realize is…it's who you are too."

The sunlight was blinding when I finally forced my eyes open. Zach's eyes were blood shot, his face looked thin and he had the scruff of a two day old beard and I was sure I didn't look much better. But he was looking at me as if I was an angel.

"You know," I whispered. "Some girls might think it's creepy, having a boy watch them sleep."

And even as tired as he looked, Zach managed to smirk, point to himself and say, "Spy."

"Oh." I nodded. "Right. So you're a trained peeping tom."

"Product of the best peeping academies in the country."

"Well now I feel much better."

"You should."

I laughed, my eyes raking over Zach again. He looked older, worn out.

"When was the last time you slept?"

He ran a hand through his hair and let out large yawn, as if it were just now dawning on him that he hadn't slept in far too long.

"What happened Zach?" I asked softly, my heart aching for the worried boy that was trying to be too strong.

"She's back."

"How can she be back? We were in that passageway. We barely made it out, Zach. There's no way she could've escaped. I WATCHED THAT PASSAGEWAY GO UP IN FLAMES." My voice had risen by this point and I could feel the tears streaking my face but Zach wasn't gaping at me in horror, he wasn't watching me like I needed to be locked up, he was staring at me with a pained look, as if I was a small child who'd finally seen the harsh reality of the real world. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off, yanking the tube that was attached to my hand and slamming the bathroom door behind me.

I rested my back against the door, sinking to the floor as I let the tears flow freely. I was crying for me, for the things Catherine had done to me. For the freedom I'd thought I had that I no longer would. For how hard I'd worked to rid us of Catherine. I was crying for Kat, for how she would never know why she couldn't know her own grandmother. For the extra precautions and procedures that would change her daily life. For the life she was born into, that she didn't deserve. But mostly, I was crying for Zach, for the boy who'd never known a mother's love. For having been forced into a life of lies and danger. For knowing that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't protect us from Catherine. But above all, I was crying for the broken little boy that he kept hidden behind a calm face and strong demeanor. I was crying because despite everything, Zach would never have the chance to be weak and cry, and even if he did, he would never let himself.

I know this is kinda short but it was pretty much a filler, I didn't lose my motivation for this story, I just feel like I'm kind of blocked, I don't really know where I want this story to go anymore so I'm trying to figure it out as I write so please bear with me!