Chapter 10: Some Walls Are Meant To Be Scaled With One's Bare Hands

"So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman were retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it." - Yahtzee Croshaw

Do you ever have those moments in life where you just question everything you think you know to be true? Where something that you'd believed for as long as you could remember was violently sucker-punched in the metaphorical nutsack?

Well, Japan was having one of those moments.

And it was all thanks to the United States of America.

Who, at that exact point in time, was standing clad in a bright pink leotard with several cans of silly-string attatched to her hips on his back porch, a very determined, very scary look on her face. In one hand she clutched a trident, and in the other, a bottle of axe body spray.

This did not bode well.

As it was, Japan could do nothing but gape and stare. Having known America for an untold amount of years, he had become quite used to her unusual habits and impulses. In truth, he had actually been forced to participate in a number of strange and possibly mentally-scarring activities in the past, such as midnight shark wrestling, extreme pogo sticking in the himalayas, upside-down cake baking, and, worst of all, marathons of the Twilight movies.

So, as he gazed upon the strangely garbed American standing there, he was truly not as surprised as he should have been. But he knew enough about the girl and her "sporadicar-ness" to still be extremely wary.

And she wasn't just dressed weird.

Oh hell to the no.

Parked precariously on top of the Japanese man's rock garden was what appeared to be a fully-functional life-size model of the Bat-Mobile, with the words "suck it bitches" spray-painted in pink across the side.

And Japan did NOT know how to handle the situation.

America took a step forward and unhooked one of the cans of silly-string from her waist. She held it out, offering the Japanese man to take it. "Join me." She whispered intensely.

And Japan, knowing he was going to seriously regret his decision, went back inside to fetch his fire-proof vest. America grinned.

Twenty minutes later, the two were on the road to China with Japan wrestled into a matching pink leotard, much to his embarrassment and chagrin.

Oh, this did not bode well in the slightest.

China sipped his tea and flipped the page of his book, sitting peacefully upon a stone bench and quietly enjoying the calming atmosphere of his mountain retreat. The air was fresh, the sun was shining, and for the first time in a while, the old nation just felt good.

But this was not to last.

In an instant, the world flashed a myriad of explosive colors, and randomly began to smell like over-weight middle-schooler (that is what axe smells like), and China was thrown from his seat on the bench and landed face-first in the grass.

The world was no longer calm.

China groaned and attempted to push himself off the ground, only to find that his arms and legs were bound together by some kind of adhesive demon string. The air reeked, and the nation saw that his clothes were covered in pink and purple paint. Above him, he heard giggles.

Familiar giggles.

China craned his neck and looked up, where standing looking over him were exactly the two people he had expected to see. He swore loudly and struggled against his binds. "America! Japan! What the HELL are you doing aru!?"

If it was even possible, America's grin got even wider.

"We're Spider-Men." She said, Japan looking resigned and very tired beside her. "And you're the villain. We just caught you for the sake of justice."

China stared at the girl, wondering if she had finally lost her tenuous hold on sanity. "... What aru?"

Japan sighed and held his can of silly string out in front of him. He sprayed the ground by China's head, leaving a long thin trail of string to the can. "This is our string." He said, sounding defeated. "And you have just been 'stringed'. So you are now our prisoner. And you have to tell us... where the bomb is?" Japan quickly glanced at America, who nodded her head. "Where the bomb is." He said with finality.

"What bomb!?" China screeched, finding himself very disturbed by the fact that he, a four-thousand year-old superpower, was unable to wriggle himself free from a mere inch of plastic-based goo.

"That's what we want to know." Said America, placing her foot on the older nation's back. "Where the hell is it, terrorist?"

"Terrorist aru!?" China cried. "I'm not a fucking terrorist aru!"

"Today you are." Said Japan.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes. You are." Said America.

"You're insane!" Said China.

"Yes. Where's the bomb?"

"Nowhere! It doesn't EXIST!"

"Yes it does."

"No, I'm very really sure that it DOESN'T ARU!"

America pouted like she was disappointed. "... Damn." She said with a sigh. She turned to Japan. "Looks like we've gotta keep going. There has to be SOMEONE out there with an actual bomb for us to diffuse."

"WHAT!?" Screeched China.

America ignored him and placed her hand firmly of Japan's shoulder.

"... To the Bat-Mobile?" Asked Japan when she remained silent.

"To the Bat-Mobile." America said.

And with that, the two nations in pink leotards pranced back over to the smoking crater in the middle of China's yard inside which was their getaway car, America throwing open the door in the most dramatic way possible and leaping inside, Japan calmly opening the door and buckling his seat belt.

Just before America got in however, she turned around and threw something at the prone form of China still squirming on the ground. It landed with a twang directly in front of the nation's nose and stuck a few inches in the ground. It was a fucking trident.

China screamed like the woman everyone thought he looked like and rolled onto his side in a very undignified manner.

America saluted him and clamored into her car. "Let that be a warning to you." She said stoically.

"A WARNING FOR WHAT ARU!?"

Later that day, the nations of America and Japan were seen in no fewer than fifty countries around the world, the personification of each receiving a silly-string prison and a vigorous interrogation about imaginary bombs blowing people up. They were not pleased, and a few even peed themselves in fear of the pink-clad vigilantes before fainting and being rushed to a hospital to check for shock.

None of them actually turned out to be terrorists, much to America's dismay and Japan's great relief.

Well, all except for Prussia.

"You have no right to steal the awesome explosives of the awesome me!"

"Silence, felon! And let this ridiculous trident to the face be a lesson that you cannot explode everything that you disagree with!"

"ARRRGGGHH! SHIT BITCH THAT HURT!"

"Oh dear, here we go again."

Heya everyone! Thanks for reading again, and I'm sorry that this update took so long. I just was really busy there for a few days, but I promise to make it up to you, tomorrow there will be more than one chapter, so look forward to it! And make sure that you leave reviews. I Love that shit. keep it up. - Mikki