Rawr. Happy New Year. 2010! My resolution is: Marry Aaron Tveit.

I'm nearly there, I swear.

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'It's just... I feel really powerless. I know there's some way I can help him but I just don't know...' Ernst leaned back heavily on the tree, closing his eyes for a moment before glancing up desperately at Thea and Anna.

Anna paused her braiding of Thea's hair. 'Are you sure you're just friends?'

'Yes! Anna, you're not helping.'

'Sorry. I don't know... What about –'

'Anna, hurry up! I think Melchi will be coming by soon!' Thea jerked her head impatiently.

'Thea, I think Melchi is still a bit wound up, at least enough that he won't mind about whether or not your hair is braided.' Anna said, continuing to braid.

'Weren't we going to take him to Berlin?' Thea folded her arms. 'I was looking forward to that. You remember, the trip? To cheer him up.'

'I think everyone is too busy...' Anna sighed.

Ernst sat up. To cheer him up? Melchi wasn't the only one who needed cheering up. And imagine – a whole day just for him and Hanschen to spend together and just forget about home lives? It was perfect. It had to be.

'I need to go – sort something out.' Ernst said quickly, springing up and jogging away.

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He didn't like cutting. No-one would. If he could get through the overwhelming and altogether exhausting emotions that came with the almost corrupting events in his life without having to resort to that kind of release, of course he would. But, no. Everything was spiralling out of control: his father was getting worse and worse each day; his family was always drifting apart, only to be held together by the dreadful secret and pain shared by them; and God only knew what he was doing to poor Ernst. But he couldn't stop. Everything was out of his control, he needed to control something. Just one thing. And when he cut, he felt in control for once.

He closed his eyes lightly as he pressed the razor down, and leaned heavily on the wall behind him to support himself as his arm began to bleed, however resisting the urge to cry as he continued.

'Hanschen?'

The blond gasped and looked up to see Ernst standing in his bedroom doorway. 'Ernst!' he coughed, stifling a cry that came as the shock caused him to inadvertently press the razor in further. 'Go – away-' But Ernst seemed frozen to the spot.

'H-Hanschen...' A tear escaped the smaller boy's eye.

'Go away...' Hanschen tried again before everything went black.

(A/N: I was going to end this here. But I realised how douchetastic of me that would be.)

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Eyes opening slowly, Hanschen looked around, vision blurred but sharp enough to pick out Ernst's terrified face as he sat huddled on Hanschen's bed. The blond could feel a pillow behind his head that had not been there before, and saw some gauze wrapped tightly around his wrist, a faint tinge of blood still visible beneath it.

'Y-you blacked out...' Ernst said, voice wavering. 'I didn't know what to do...' His eyes were wide. 'Hanschen, why?' Hanschen's chest tightened. It wasn't a case of why. There was too much "why" to even begin to explain. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, not knowing what to say. Ernst darted forward. 'Hanschen!'

Hanschen opened his eyes. Ernst was once more, looking at him worriedly. 'No, Ernst, I'm here.' He said quietly, his voice cracking. 'This is my problem. I told you to keep out of it, now please... please...' He made the mistake of looking up into Ernst's eyes. Eyes filled with genuine concern and unmistakable guilt.

'Hanschen...' Ernst linked his hand with the other boys. 'If it's your problem, it's mine. You don't know how hard it is to see you like this...' He took a deep breath in and produced a train ticket from his pocket. 'Forget about it. Just for one day. With me.' He pressed it into Hanschen's free hand, before standing up. 'Bye...' He looked as if he wanted to say something more but bit his lip, and left the room. Hanschen stood, slowly, and stepped towards the door.

'Ernst, I...' he started in a whisper, though he knew Ernst was already gone.

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Douchetastic. I love that word. You know how you look at someone and a word just comes to mind? There's this little fart of a year 9 =

Anyway, I really want to see Finnian's Rainbow.

That has nothing to do with anything, I just got annoyed at remembering the year 9 and had to go to my happy place i.e. the Theatre =p

Ohm....

Ohm... Review please... Ohm...

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