Here's chapter 9. See you guys at the bottom.
owns all things Twilight. I created the cute kids and this weird ass plot.
Chapter 9
EPOV
Looking into Bella's eyes I knew I was fucked. I should've just turned my phone off like she asked. Instead, because I was tired, I had to go and be an asshole and argue with her.
Truthfully I didn't have the energy to deal with Tanya or her insistent calls right then. But the way Bella snapped at me struck a chord and I couldn't keep my attitude in check. Even worse, it ended up leading to a conversation that should've been happening under different circumstances.
"You need to be honest with me." she said. "Tell me right now what happened when you were off doing you own thing. I wanna know. I need to know. Were you off fucking around?"
"Okay. You deserve to know that. I wasn't going to hide anything from you, I already told you I'd be honest."
"And?" her question hung in the air. I struggled to find the words to answer her. I knew that my reply could signal the end of us and it was seized my ability to speak.
It took me a few moments, but I looked her in the eyes and nodded my head yes, just once.
"Get out," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. I reached out to her, but she stepped away, shaking her head. "No. Just go."
"Bella…C'mon, please talk to me. Let me explain," I pleaded, holding my hands in front of me in surrender.
"I don't think there's anything for you to explain, Edward," she sighed, shaking her head, not meeting my eyes. "You fucked someone else, that's all I really needed to hear. Just leave."
"What? You can't be serious."
"Edward," she started but I interrupted her.
"No. You." I threw a pointed finger in her direction, "said you wanted to know, well then let me tell you. Stop cutting me off and let. Me. Speak!" I jabbed the same finger into my own chest, punctuating each word.
"Fine," she glared at me and threw herself back onto the couch, "tell me all about your time with the skanks. Then leave."
"Let me start with telling you… No matter what I did, it shouldn't matter. In my head, when I walked away…" I huffed, becoming more flabbergasted by the second. It felt like my brain had hit fast forward and I couldn't slow it down enough to get my words out coherently. "Once I made the choice to leave I considered myself single. There wasn't a 'we', I was on my own with no one to answer to."
When she said nothing, I chanced a look in her direction only to find her looking everywhere except at me. My anxiety, growing by the second, caused me to start pacing around the room.
"Bella, I went out every night during those two weeks, getting wasted in hopes that the booze would drown out thoughts of you." I stopped in front of her, not speaking or moving until she looked up at me. "Nothing made them go away. Nothing."
"Whatever," she mumbled under her breath, looking away, "Just get on with it."
"Okay," I swallowed hard, before resuming my path on the carpet. "I told you before, I only hung out with them the first few days. Four to be exact." I couldn't believe how hard telling her turned out to be. I never thought it'd be easy, but it broke my heart to know that I'd be crushing hers, again. "I made out with both of them at the club, like at the same time. We were dancing. They started kissing, pulling me into it with them. It felt wrong, but at the time I didn't really care."
"I was cocked out of my mind that first night when we left the club, I didn't even object when the girls said they were gonna take me back to Tanya's place." I stopped walking, sitting down in the chair across from Bella, before I continued. "I ended up sleeping in the same bed with Tanya and… She, ah, she gave me a blow job."
I couldn't look up from the floor. I knew if I did, the image of Bella being more crushed by my words would be burned forever into my brain.
"Is that it?" she whispered in the smallest, saddest voice I'd ever heard.
"No," I sighed, clenching my eyes shut. "I got a few more from both of them over those few days. There was a lot of kissing and over the clothes groping. I may have even copped a few boob grabs when I was drunk."
"I see."
Her simple two word sentence hits me hard. The emotion had fled from her voice, she simply sound resigned. The sniffle that followed, broke my resolve to continue to staring at the floor.
"Bella," I paused, looking into her eyes, "I know I fucked up, a lot. I did a whole bunch of shit I regret, but I never did more than what I just admitted to."
BPOV
I didn't know what to make of Edward's confession. Part of me felt relief that he didn't sleep with them, but hearing what did happen still made me angry. More than anything, it hurt. My chest ached when I realized that on the night he had planned to propose, not only did he leave me, but also fell into bed with another woman.
Feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks, I knew I needed him to leave. If he stayed here I would break down and it just wasn't an option while I had to care for Nick and Abby.
"I think you need to go," I stood, walking to the front door. I'd barely opened it an inch when Edward stepped up behind me, reaching over my shoulder to push it closed.
"Bella, no," he protested, when I turned to face him. "I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me."
When I didn't say anything, he moved his arms to cage me between him and the door, leaning down until we were eye level. "I can't read your mind. You have to tell me what you're thinking."
"I already told you what I think-that you need to leave." When he opened his mouth to protest, I cut him off. "I need time, Edward. You just laid a lot on me and I don't know what to make of it. Just give me time to think and ponder and debate and just get my head and heart in the same place."
"In other words you're kicking me out?" he asked, stepping away, nodding, his eyes wide and filled with tears. Turning, he grabbed his jacket and angrily pulling it on. When he faced me once more, the tears are gone.
"Okay. I'll wait for you, give you time, since that's what you want," he seethed, pulling the door open. "But Bella, I wouldn't take as long as you did to tell me about Jake."
And with a slam of the door, he was gone.
It took me a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened. He left, like I'd asked, telling me he'd give me time. But he also made sure I knew he was angry over what happened with Jacob.
To be honest, I didn't think the secret bothered him all that much. He'd only mentioned it once since the previous weekend, and only in retaliation to the cold shoulder I was gave him. His parting comment tonight, however, proved me wrong.
He had every right to be pissed at me. For the three years we'd been together I'd kept a secret from him. I wasn't stupid, I knew he'd been suspicious of the close relationship I shared with Jake. I always thought he'd been secure with what we had together, though.
There were plenty of times when I wanted to divulge the truth, but it wasn't my story to tell. On more than one occasion I'd pleaded with Jake, stating it wasn't fair to keep Edward in the dark. They were both a huge part of my life, parts I didn't see going anywhere. I felt he needed to let Edward know the truth, but Jake had been adamant about keeping it hidden.
In the past my boyfriends never reacted favorably. Emmett, once he found out and a guy named Eric being the exceptions. Eric also broke up with me two days later and then asked Jacob out, but that was beside the point. Even back home in Forks and on the rez in La Push, Jake's preference's were kept a secret. His father was ashamed of it, the small communities frowning homosexuality.
I had no choice but to respect Jake's wishes, but often counseled him to get over his fear and just be himself. It put a strain on me, being stuck between telling Edward and being true to my best friend.
Thinking it over, I slowly accepted that, though Edward did some horrible things I shared some of the blame, too. My indulgence of Jake's request for three years had set this all in motion.
Sitting back down on the couch, I turned the TV on again, but didn't really watch it. Instead I tried to sort through everything, wondering whether or not I could get over all the hurt, if a chance existed to make things work. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake.
"Aunt Bella," Nicky pushed on my shoulder, again. "Aunt Bella, wake up."
"Hey, little man," I opened my eyes to look at him. "What are you doing up?"
"The clock says eight, zero, zero," he told me like I should know. Realizing I wasn't sure what that meant, he clarified, "Mommy says we can get up from bed at eight, zero, zero."
"Oh, okay. Is Abby up?"
"No, she likes to sleep, a lot," he said absently, looking all around. He turned back to me with a serious face, "Where's Uncle Edward?"
"He, um, he went home."
"Why? He said he'd make me waffles today and play superman with me." Nicky sniffled and his bottom lip started to quiver. "He didn't even say bye to me?"
The tears building in his eyes added to my guilt. When I kicked Edward out last night, I didn't stop to consider the kids' reactions when they woke up and found him gone. I should have known Nicky would feel slighted by it, especially after Edward had told me about Nicky's standoffish behavior and their subsequent discussion. I had to think of something, fast.
"He wanted to say bye buddy, but you were sleeping and he needed to go to work," I fibbed, pulling him to me for a hug. "This big hug is from him, he told me to make sure I gave it to you, okay? He also said I had to make you chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast instead, sound good?"
"No! Not good! He promised!" he screamed, pulling away from me. He wiped at his tear streaked cheeks, before turning and running up the stairs and yelling, "I hate him!"
Before Nicky's little legs could carry him up the stairs, I heard a knock on the door. Opening it revealed a very disheveled Edward. His clothes were wrinkled, hair stuck up in the craziest bed-head do, hands shoved deep in his pockets, while he stared at the ground.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in a harsh whisper, aware that the angry ascending footsteps had stopped. His eyes flicked to mine, with his brows drawn together.
"I take it you didn't get mine or Emmett's texts? I'm here to pick up Nicky-Abby too, if you want me to take them both."
"Huh?"
"I'm taking at least Nicky until this afternoon. I told him I would and I don't intend to break another promise to him. Especially not because we can't figure our shit out," he stated, nodding his head.
His words took me by surprise. It was endearing to see that the promise he made to my nephew, our nephew as far as anyone was concerned, took precedence over the drama of our relationship. Slowly, I opened the door, stepping back to let him inside.
"Uncle Edward?" Nicky asked, a mixture of his former anger and surprise clear in his voice. "You're here?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm here," Edward said, then dramatically raised his eyes in shock. "Are you? Yes, it looks like you are still in your pajamas! Silly boy, you need to go change so we can go have some fun."
"We're gonna go play? I thought you had to work?" little man asked, complete with a thoughtful head tilt.
Edward's eyes shifted over to me, then back to the little boy still hanging on to the stair railing. "Oh, I'm, uh, I'm all finished. I did it really fast so we could hang out. So go get dressed and make sure you wear your sneakers."
Nicky didn't need to be asked twice, he flew up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him. Still stunned by the morning's events I mumbled something about Nicky needing help with his clothes, so I could get away from Edward.
I found my nephew head first in his dresser drawer, throwing articles of clothing over his shoulder. I asked what he was doing; he told me looking for clothes to match his favorite uncle. To say that this kid's emotional flip flopping gave me whiplash would have been an understatement. After searching through what felt like every piece of clothing he owned, I left Nicky upstairs to wash up and change.
Slowly I made my way back downstairs, knowing I had to face Edward, even if I didn't want to. The closer I got to the living room, the louder I could hear his voice.
"Listen to me. I've told you, multiple times in fact, I want nothing to do with you. What don't you understand?… No, there is no us, no we, no anything! Stop calling me!" He huffed at whoever was on the phone. Growing more curious, I stopped in the doorway. "Tanya, for the last. Fucking. Time! Do not call me, do not text me, don't come to my house or stop at Jasper's if you see my car there or show up to Sawyer's gigs. Don't even think about me. And for the love of God!" The tone of his voice raised the longer his tirade lasted. "Change your fucking face book picture! I don't want or need people seeing you kissing me!"
Edward stood there, chest heaving, rough breaths escaping him, while he pinched the bridge of his nose. Staring at his phone screen for a moment, he slid it into his pocket then turned, a look of surprise gracing his face when he spotted me.
"Bell, I swear I was just telling her off." he explained, holding his hands out to me.
"I know, I heard," I nodded my head. "But, now isn't the time to get into this. Nicky will be down in a minute and you promised him a day of fun."
"Yeah," he shrugged. "So, uh, did you want me to take Abby too? Or just have a boy's day with little man?"
"Take Nicky, I think he needs some one on one time. Plus she's still asleep"
"Damn," he laughed. "That kid can sleep the day away. Kind of like someone else I know," he teased, causing us both to chuckle. When I looked up, I noticed the smirk on his lips and that we'd both moved closer to each other.
My eyes locked on his and in that moment I really wanted to kiss him, but Nicky yelling for help with his shoes when he barreled down into the room slammed reality back into focus. He ran straight to us, holding his sneakers, and Edward scooped him up, sitting him on the couch. I excused myself, heading to the kitchen to pack a small bag of snacks, little toys and sun block for them to take.
I'd just as I finished zipping up the miniature backpack when Edward walked in, carrying Nicky with one arm.
"Alright, buddy," he said "Give Aunt Bella a kiss and hug goodbye, then we can go."
Nicky leaned over and squeezed me tight before laying a smooch on my lips.
"Be good, both of you," I jokingly told them with a mock stern wiggle of my index finger.
"We will, Auntie Bella," Nicky exclaimed, while Edward said "No way, we're gonna cause trouble."
When they turned to go, Nicky asked why his uncle didn't say goodbye to me or give me a hug and kiss. I was just as about to spout off something about boys, girls and cooties when Edward stopped and pulled me to him with his free arm.
"You're right, little guy," he stated softly. "You should never leave without saying goodbye." I knew his words were for me even though he addressed them to Nicky.
After kissing me on the cheek, I watched him grab the backpack and walk out of the house. But this time when he walked away, I felt hopeful.
A/N:
So... How was that? Sorry it took so long. I know a bunch, if not almost all of you had been sent a PM with a teaser a few weeks back. But real life has a way of getting involved and myself and one of my beta's got tangled in its sticky web. But hey, I posted as soon as I could. In fact, I only used one of my three beta's for this bad boy, so blame me for the mistakes you find.
BusyMommy, Donut_Magnet and Muffysword usually edit my ramblings. Without them... Well you wouldnt want to read this fic.
I'm one of the donating authors for the Fandom for Sexual Assault Awarness- I know the donation window has been extended until June 29th. So if you can spare something, I urge you to donate to that worthy cause. I dontated a piece that covers Charlie and Renee's infamous one night and Charlie meeting a three year old Bella for the first time. http:/ fandom4saa (dot) wordpress (dot) com
Also, if anyone digs non-canon pairings myself and BusyMommy are hosting the Love, Actually Contest. Voting is open and there are seven awesome entries that deserve some love. So go read, review and vote for your favorite. www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / u / 2805718
Lastly, my Durling, JennDur made me banner for OHP. It's awesomesauce, like the real homemade kind, not the canned junk. Check it out, link is on my profile.
See ya next time,
Ash