AUTHOR'S NOTES:

ya ya here you go ;) Enjoy and as always I did not create these characters but story beats are my own.
Reviews and comments always much appreciated!

In only the last few days Tara had gotten the least amount of sleep she had in months, fought with Jax, bitched out some croweaters, and toted a gun around with her constantly. And to top it all off, Abel had taken those first few steps on his own, and it broke her heart that Jax was not there to see it.

Jax on the other hand had been a tightly wound bundle of stress and rage. Other than his few talks with the Russians he basically spent his time those last few days chain smoking, pacing and doing push ups; trying to work off his anger any way he could. Jax had all but commanded Clay to tell Gemma during his phone privilege that she would be looking after Abel on Tuesday and that Tara needed to come alone to Stockton. He needed some time with her.

As Tuesday rolled around Tara was a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand she was completely exhausted, but at the same time she was equally nervous and excited, all still while being just a little pissed off at the man she loved. She put on her jeans which now needed a pregnancy band to support her stomach and a flowy top along with the $500 cash in her purse.

She was a nervous wreck as she drove alone to to Stockton but checked into the visitors center and passed along the cash at check in as instructed. All she had to do was go through a metal detector and have her purse searched for narcotics and weapons and she was escorted to the 'family room' where she waited for Jax.

The room was sparse… it had a slightly larger bed that what she envisioned Jax was sleeping on that was made up with generic bedding. They had a small private bathroom and a kitchenette. The whole thing reminded her of a cheap hotel room. She sat in the small chair opposite the door just waiting, nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.

Jax finally entered the room with an escort who informed them they had four hours alone and to not do anything he would regret. His face was stern and she could tell he had been working through stuff the last few days. They could always read each other. Jax could see she was a wreck - exhausted, still pissed, but there was a hint of something else, like she was fighting her own anger.

Jax spoke first, "I didn't like our last visit" he said as he crossed his arms leaning against the wall half a room away from her.

"Yeah well I didn't either Jackson," Tara spoke as she started to approach him. "Listen Teller, I am always waiting for you and this club," she stalked closer to him with angst in her voice, "I have to wait 14 months, pregnant - don't make me wait 20 more minutes again." She paced right up to him sternly, a mix of venom and lust in her eyes, before grabbing him by his hair and kissing him hungrily.

Jax was taken off guard and in moment later relaxed letting her take the lead with his only response being, "yes ma'am" his hands grabbing for her. All of their kissing in the visitation room had been relatively sweet and more PG rated, but this was different, this was a need. It was the first time he had to actually maneuver around her pregnant body. Tara was not huge yet, but it definitely wasn't the body he knew like his own. He couldn't reach to his usual hand placements and ended up with a hand in her hair and one trolling along her hip. He could tell she was struggling too, not able to get fully flush against his chest.

He spun her around and found the spot on her neck that drove her wild while she was finally able to place her back firmly against him. His arms reached around and kneaded her breasts through her shirt. He bit her earlobe as he whispered, "I have missed you so much."
He gave her neck a bit more attention before she turned to face him again attacking his mouth. While still kissing her Jax slowly guided them away from the wall towards the bed.

He broke from her for a moment sitting on the bed, "how do we do this Tara?"

It was just a second but he could see a flash of nervousness and insecurity cross her face. Jax took a seat on the bed, pulling Tara to stand in between his legs as his hands automatically went to her stomach. Jax decided he would have to take the lead on this one realizing she was just a clueless as he was, "we just go with what you are comfortable with."
Tara nodded but Jax moved first and with confidence, slowing down the pace from the feverish make-out session that had just happened.

He kissed her softly, his hands slowly exploring her new body. He took off his shirt exposing his chiseled abs and returned to kissing her slowly and softly. Her hands traced the muscles of his arms. They finally made their way onto the bed and Tara took the lead positioning herself on top. Jax slowly removed her clothes piece by piece making sure to worship her body, not wanting her to feel self conscious at all.

"I love you," was all he could say as the two slowly found their way into each other, sharing the love that they had both desperately been missing these last few months.

They both laid there for a while in the small bed, Jax leaning up against the wall and Tara against his chest wrapped in his arms. His hands snaked down to her stomach and Tara placed her hand on top of his, feeling where their son was.
"I had Lowen look into furlough," Tara spoke first, "turns out you're not in here long enough."
He kissed the top of her head. It meant a lot to him that she was doing everything possible, even without him knowing, to see if he could be there for the birth of their son. "Sorry babe," she went on kissing his fingers on their interlocked hand.

"No I'm sorry babe," Jax started, "this whole thing was terrible timing."
Tara tilted to her head to look up at him, "he will be worth it, Abel is worth it."

All Jax could do was kiss her. Kiss her lips, kiss her hand, kiss her forehead. God he had missed her... and his son. He just missed his family, the one he wanted to keep safe and away from the worries and pain of SAMCRO.

"Oh my god, I forgot," Tara sat up turning to Jax, "he walked, Abel walked." She was all smiles.
Jax laughed, "of course he did."

There time together was short but they had enough time to work off their 6 months of separation at least once more. They were both feeling a lot better by the end of their four hours together. Jax had made the most of it, trying to memorize every aspect of Tara's pregnant body unsure if they would get this opportunity again.

"Can you bring Abel by this weekend," Jax asked as they were nearing the end.
"Of course baby," she responded rubbing his arm. He sat on the bed, fully clothed and ready for the guard to knock on the door at any moment. Tara was behind him rubbing his shoulders, trying to re-affirm her man.

"We are okay baby, we are going to make it through this," she spoke as he caught one the hands massaging his shoulder taking it into his own and leading it to his lips, laying a kiss there. The dreaded knock came alerting them that their time was up. Hand in hand they walked to the door, opening it.

Jax took her into his embrace, "I love you," he said leaning his forehead against hers.
"I love you too Jackson," Tara responded leaving a kiss on his lips, "don't you forget that. See you in a few days."

He kissed her one last time as the guard took Jax away, another escorting Tara back to the check in area.

Jackson was escorted back to the yard where the rest of SAMCRO proceeded to make fun of him like he was 16 again.
"All right, all right," Jax finally cut them off. Clay grasped him by the shoulder, "ya'll work that shit out son?"
"Yeah, we are good, just gotta keep that momma happy is all," Jax responded. Clay chuckled back at him, "truer words have never been spoken son."

Jax found his solace back in his journal. Making both confessions and promises to his sons. He wanted them to know one day that he understood the weight of all this, and for them to understand the burden and strength their mother has to endure it.

When Saturday had come back around Jax was waiting in the visitation room looking bright and rested. He hadn't slept that good in months but after a few hours with Tara he had final relaxed and really slept. Tara, on the other hand, entered the visitation room hand in hand with a now (sort-of) walking Abel and Gemma following behind. She looked even more exhausted then the last Saturday.

Jax crouched down to his knees as Tara approached with Abel. "Go on," she coached him, "show daddy what you can do."
Abel stumbled but successfully walked to Jax, who immediately scooped him up and spun him around. With Abel on his hip, he greeted his mom who sat down at the table, Tara slowly following suit behind them.

He leaned over to give Tara a quick kiss, "hi." She sweetly kissed him back but let out a small groan as she responded with a unenthusiastic, "hey." Jax stood Abel up and he wrapped his arms around his fathers leg for stability.

"Everything okay," Jax questioned obviously worried.
"Yes Jackson, you're son's are both more than fine, both very active," Tara groggily responded with a small smile on her face.
Gemma butted in, "that stinker," she motioned to Abel, "is all over the place, and that one," Gemma eyed Tara's belly, "well lets say I know what its like to carry a Teller, you boys love to kick all night."
Tara exhaustedly smiled at Jax, "it's fine babe, just a little tired." He sat behind her on the metal bench, passing Abel over to Gemma.

He put his hand on her shoulders as he spoke, "shoulders or back?"
Tara closed her eyes as she responded, "back." Jax began to knead her lower back working out some of the tension she had been carrying and laid a kiss in the crook of her neck, reminding both of them of just a few days ago.

Jax continued to work on her back while he carried on a conversation with his mom catching up on her life and Abel. Tara tuned it all out and just relaxed into Jax's hands as she felt a little kick.

"Jax, come here," Tara took his hand and led it to the spot on her stomach where she had just felt him. His free hand slowly still worked her lower back but Jax was intently focused on the hand covering side of Tara's stomach. He felt it. It was strangest feeling in the world, but he was elated. A few moments later he felt another small force against his hand. Jax buried his head into the crook of Tara's neck fighting off tears of happiness.

"That's Thomas," Tara spoke almost in a whisper, "felt the first one the night after I saw you and he hasn't stopped since." Jax just kissed her on the cheek.

"Have I told you that you are amazing," was all he could mutter.
"Yeah well like father like son, doesn't want his momma to get any sleep," Tara laughed and Gemma rolled her eyes.

Tara, regaining some strength picked up Abel from Gemma, "Alright Abel we are going to work on this walking of yours."

Jax crouched down away from the table only a small space away from where Tara stayed seated as Abel walked from his mom to his dad with his proud grandma Gemma looking on.