I AM TOO LAZY TO TYPE UP A DISCLAIMER. JUST IMAGINE A FUNNY JOKE ACKNOWLEDGING THE CREATORS OF HARRY POTTER AND MLP. I APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was quickly shaping up to be the System's least favourite lesson so far. Somehow it felt like their senses were constantly under attack, whether it was the garlicky smell, the blindingly purple turban, or the horrific black magic digging into the back of professor Quirrel's head like some grotesque parasite, the System could barely think straight from all the distractions.

The aforementioned black magic was worrying, too, but Twilight reasoned to the others that the headmaster most likely knew about it already. That didn't stop Dashie from being suspicious, Rarity from being disgusted, or Pinkie from wondering which balloons it would prefer.

Twilight had already finished the work for the lesson, so she turned to the front and was about to put her hand up asking what to do next when she looked directly at the black magic, something that she'd purposely avoided for the entire lesson.

Immediately a dark, jagged bolt like a shard of glass tore towards them, impacting their scar directly. Twilight didn't feel anything in particular, but the worried cries of the rest of the System made her worry about the state of their mindscape.

'AJ, take my place!' She urged, and AJ complied, letting her slide back into the mental realm. The source of the disturbance was rather obvious, as a pitch darkness covered half of the street. The others were already at the edge of the blackness, Pinkie and Dashie throwing all manner of objects in while Fluttershy and Rarity watched with bated breath. 'Okay, I have an idea, but I'll probably be out of commission for a little while afterward,' she said.

Rarity shook her head. 'We'll need you to keep our grades up so nopony thinks anything's weong with us. I, on the other hand, don't have any urgent jobs to do. I should go, if anyone. Just tell me what to expect and I'll figure something out.'

Unwilling to argue in such a potentially dire situation, Twilight nodded reluctantly. 'Okay, first off, the darkness won't destroy anything outright, but it will most likely hurt severely and spending too much time inside may begin to affect your representation. That shouldn't happen for a while, though, as a shift in your representation can only be caused by extreme changes to your mental state, in this case through extreme paim. There should be some sort of dark artifact in the centre of the darkness, which you will need to physically enclose in order to remove that outside influence from it. I have some theories, but those are hardly relevent right now so please be quick?'

Rarity smiled back at her, wincing a little as she tapped her hoof into the darkness. 'I can assure you, darling, that I will be absolutely fine. Now go and relieve AppleJack of her duty, because knowing her, she's already grown fidgety.'

'Thanks, Rarity,' Twilight whispered, and took over the System's reigns as Rarity cantered through the void, already visibly straining.

The end of the lesson came as a relief. Rarity had made it through the darkness with very little harm, and Fluttershy estimated her full recovery at a day or two. Rarity's method of sealing the artifact was to put it in a box, and while that held up for the duration of the lesson, Twilight hadn't wanted to take any risks and had used the vast majority of her sealing spells, only skipping a few that were incompatible, and also placed it in a much stronger physical container. Only then did she feel safe in leaving it alone.

At dinner that day, Dashie had the brilliant idea of looking directly at the back of Quirrel's head again, and while it was probably the most stupid idea she could possibly have at the time, it did prove that without the artifact out in the open in the mindscape, the black magic didn't lash out at them at all.

Fluttershy noticed that Neville, who sat next to her, was looking rather green. She could tell it wasn't an illness, so she took over and asked, "What's wrong?"

Neville sighed, dropping his hands to his sides and resting his chin on the table. "We have flying lessons tomorrow," he moaned, and Fluttershy winced in understanding even as Dashie cheered. She wasn't afraid of flying, as she knew that Dashie would never let anything happen to them, but she wouldn't be able to trust herself to fly.

"Have you ever flown before?" she asked as a sudden suspicion struck her. Neville shook his head mournfully and she sighed. Of course nobody would trust him with a broom, and without that practise, he'd be entirely out of his depth. "Just stand next to me, and I'll see if I can help you, if that's okay." He nodded, looking grateful and slightly less terrified, and Fluttershy smiled and turned back to her dinner.

'Twilight, could you maybe look to see which broom would be the most stable so Neville can use it tomorrow?'

This time, it was Severus who entered the room last. It was almost a curse; as surely as the Defense teacher would be removed within the year, at least one head of house, or even Dumbledore himself, was late to every single meeting.

Thos time though, Albus could barely keep his jaw from dropping. The Potions teacher looked almost pleased! His hair, having never changed from its slightly greasy long slick for as long as anyone could remember, was cut short, neat and healthy, with no trace of grease at all. His face looked a little less tight than usual, and his robes had entirely lost their sense of malice and foreboding, and didn't even billow in some unseen wind.

Overall, he hadn't changed much at all, but what had changed made him feel like an entirely different man.

"Would anyone like a sherbet lemon?" Albus asked, and the man hesitated at the question for the first time, before apparently deciding against it much to Albus' chagrin.

"What happened to you?" Minerva blurted, and the other heads of houses could only nod, dumbfounded.

Severus sat down heavily. "Baker happened," he said with no hint of displeasure or any emotion, really. "Quite a remarkable student, I might add."

"You realise that I would like a report?" Albus prompted and Severus nodded.

"Of course, headmaster. I began my class by marking everybody off on the register. When I got to Baker's name, I addressed him as Potter, and he quite rightfully corrected me. I took points - which I have since reversed," he told a bristling Minerva, who slumped in shock before nodding weakly as he continued. "and asked him, 'What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?'"

"But that's NEWT level!" Pomona interrupted, the only one apart from Severus and Albus to have taken NEWT Potions. "Would you have taken points if he didn't know?"

Severus smirked, but it looked different to his usual ones. "I would not have," he denied, "but I was not able to either way, as he answered it perfectly."

"But then why-" Pomona stopped dead as her eyes went unfocussed, before she rounded on him, eyes wide. "You?"

"I," he confirmed. "The meanings associated with different flowers corresponds closely to their use in Potions, as magic itself has taken those meanings and applied them to the plants. Hence why together with snapdragon buds and stabilisers, they create the Drought of Living Death."

Filius nodded in sudden understanding, then said for Minerva's sake, "Asphodel is a lily meaning 'My regrets follow you to the grave'. Wormwood means 'Absence' and bitter sorrow."

"So asking a question involving both of them could be taken to mean, 'My sorrow and regret of Lily's absence will follow you to the grave'," Minerva put together. "I assume that snapdragons symbolise falsehood or deception?"

"The latter," Albus supplied, intrigued. "Severus, what was Mr Baker's reaction to the question?"

"He answered it perfectly, as I stated, then thanked me after a moment of thought," the changed teacher stated. "I was unable to believe that they realised, so I cast a weak Legilimency to ensure that they weren't doing the same to me." The head of Gryffindor sputtered about privacy, but Severus ignored her. "It was simply a surface thought scan, but I realised something very interesting."

"And what might that be?" Minerva grumbled, still glaring at him. "Is that what got you to change your style so much?"

"No, that was a realisation on my part." Severus paused for dramatic effect. "System Baker has no surface thoughts."

Several cries of "WHAT?" rung out through the room. Even Albus joined in, but nobody noticed in the shock. Such a thing was supposed to be entirely impossible, and while System had proven that impossible was a relative term, this was quite possibly the most shocking news so far.

"Instead of simply hearing or seeing Baker's thoughts, I was pulled directly into his mind. He didn't have memories there, Albus," he addressed the headmaster directly. "I was given a mental representation of my physical form for all of four seconds, before I was discovered by more than one other such representations, and forced out of his mind altogether. Every voice that I heard while in his mind belonged to an unfamiliar female, although it was only through my pensieve that I discovered this fact as I was too thrown at the time."

There was silence for a full minute as everyone tried to process the new information, with little success. Finally, Filius asked, "What did you realise that made you change so much?"

There was a pause as Severus pondered for a moment. "I realised that I want to teach."

HOLY MOTHER OF BUTTS IT'S ALIVE! YOUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!

This chapter's still short, but I'm hoping to increase the length over time. Sorry for the exceptionally long hiatus, I have no excuse.

Next time, Flying lessons!

(I've also realised that apparently Flitwick changed his teaching plan, since in this fic he taught Wingardium Leviosa before Halloween. Maybe it'll be a recap lesson, or maybe I'll just figure out an alternative.)