I re-did chapter 10 thanks for reading guys, please rate and review if you wish in this chapter Hermione attempts to help George, don't wanna give too much away but yeah hope you enjoy :)
I sat on the lounge for a while and then decided to lie down, I put my feet up on the arm rest and stared up at the ceiling, and I pulled my coat together to wrap it around myself and just lied there thinking about life. Thinking about what the fuck happened to George, thinking about what the past year had been and wondering why everything had happened… I was angry at myself for not helping George earlier, somewhat angry at myself for what had happened with George after the wedding when he tried to kill himself and wished I never had saved him but, I was most angry because someone I was in love with was George all along.
That was a year ago now and my life had so much changed since then, I thought I found the love of my life, it was a setup and it was still George. I thought George was dead he turned out to be alive but, just barely and his soul was eating him apart, the fact he basically became someone else in front of me and beneath all that was a reckless soul that was gonna kill itself if it didn't stop. I had to save him.
I had been to his funeral, cried over him, had terrifying dreams had to live a life where George wasn't a part of it anymore. He wasn't even part of himself anymore; he had changed so dramatically it wasn't even recognisably George. I knew getting him back on track wouldn't be easy but, I'd rather die trying than not trying at all.
I waited at least an hour before gaining my courage to go speak to him; 'Hermione he needs you.' I said to myself quietly and got off the lounge and walked through the hallway, into the entry way and up the marble steps and went into George's office to find he wasn't there.
Everything was as it was whiskey bottles on the side table, a fire burning, stuff all over his desk and the blinds drawn closed. It was dark now and it was cloudy outside, autumn was coming back again, well not quite the last week over summer was disappearing and it was noticeable. The last week of August was always cold and met England with a cold harsh breathe and a chilling power.
I went across the hallway from the door office door and knocked on his bedroom door. 'George.' I called out hoarsely, waiting patiently for a response. 'Duh fuck do you want?' he yelled back in anger.
'George…please talk to me…' I pleaded, putting my ear against the door 'Alright!' he said annoyed and I slowly opened the door, he was lying in bed. His back turned away from me, he looked a lot smaller than he was, I assumed he was curled up in a ball 'George…please tell me why you left…why did you do what you did…' I said softly. Slowly approaching the side of the bed, my jean legs rubbed against each other because I didn't take as bigger steps as I normally would, I was walking slowly. 'That noise is annoying.' He remarked and I walked normally, but still slowly, I felt frozen and stiff I just wanted to help him.
'You wanna know Hermione, you really wanna fuckin' know…?' he asked harshly I walked over to his desk on the other side from his bed, unlike his office desk this one was covered in whiskey bottles, papers and was a complete mess. There wasn't any glasses which I think meant he drank it from the bottle.
I picked up the chair from under his table and put it next to his bed. 'Yes, I want to know why.' I said annoyed, putting my hair behind my shoulders so that it didn't get in my eyes. I was sitting behind him and he wasn't looking at me.
He pushed his blanket covers back, he took his jumper off and he had a work shirt on underneath. He walked over to his draw set, grabbed a bottle of Jim Beam, which I had no idea existed because it wasn't on the table, twisted the cap off, tossed it on the floor, walked back to his bed and fixed his pillows so he could lean against them as he sat up and began drinking. It was a sad sight, but at the same time with all the stress I felt like popping the cap off and drinking too.
He patted the mattress beside him 'Sit.' He demanded not even looking at me, just looking at the label on the bottle, my heart was thumping in my throat 'Is he gonna do something?' I said under my breath and climbed on the bed hesitantly and sat next to him, he lifted his arm and put it over my shoulder and played with my hair. I liked it but, it didn't make me feel any less nervous, I moved my neck back and liked the feeling of his arm supporting it. But, I wasn't there to day dream about him, I was there to help him.
She was so pretty, I didn't want to be angry but, I couldn't help it, I wanted to make love to her but, I knew she'd leave immediately if I tried to do anything and I wouldn't blame her…the feel of her head resting on my arm was relaxing and I didn't feel as angry, I just loved her but I had no idea how to show it, I felt like a lunatic looking for a victim to get…and she was the unlucky victim.
I felt her soft locks against my hand and arm, I twisted them around and scrunched them, it was so soft, I looked down at her and tilted my head to look at her face, and she had her head down like she was thinking.
She was quiet and still like one of those Deer's you see in those movies when the hunter watches them and they are totally unaware of the hunter's intentions. I had bad intentions maybe…I'm not sure if they were bad or good…I didn't want to hurt her but, I had this horrible feeling I was driving her away with my insanity…when I was Jimmy it was fine because I was someone else, I could forget about being George but at the end of the day it just wasn't right and I knew Jimmy didn't want me to keep pretending either or to keep cutting his hair for Polyjuice potion, he was worried that if something happened that people would think he was crazy when in fact I was the mad one.
'Please tell me what the fuck happened to you…' she demanded I sighed and looked at her…'Alright…' I coughed to clear my throat because it was getting a bit hoarse, for some reason this house made everyone's voices husky, I figured it was from the ash from all the fire places but, at least it was warm, warm enough to make me feel alive, because I could feel the warmth but, other than that my body couldn't feel anything.
He looked down at me and then stared me right in the eyes, his blue eyes sparkled, they went from the usual pale blue to a bright blue and they were something I could easily get lost in, 'Where do you want me to start?' he asked shrugging.
'From the night I found you dead.' I replied calmly 'Alright…' he took a skull of the bottle, I heard it run down his throat 'I called the funeral parlour that night about an hour before you came on Christmas eve and told them a body was going to come in called…the name was going to be George Weasley and to give the body to a man named Jimmy Crafty. I told them a payment would be made and it was a decoy plan and for them not to say anything to which the man agreed. I then slit my wrists…' he trailed off and looked somewhat distant.
He paused and put his free hand beside him where I couldn't see it, and held the bottle of Jim Beam against his leg and took his arm off my shoulder and pulled his sleeve down on his shirt so it covered his palms. 'I slit my wrists then I drank a potion that would allow me to live long enough but to give all the signs of being dead, the coldness, the stiffness, no heart beat the lot, it let blood come out but, I was still able to have enough to live. I lied there and felt everything, every single bit of it, I felt my heart beating become less noticeable and I felt myself go under the covers as being dead. But, I could feel and hear everything just not able to move.' He said taking another scull of the bottle and looking at me with his big blue eyes, his face looked full of shame and disappointment and I wanted to cry, he looked so distant it's like I wasn't even within a five mile radius.
'Then you found me, I was still conscious, I had left my tears beside me so it would seem that I was gone and that was the last you had ever seen of me, that I could give you some sort of insight as to why I did it for. Then I had the perfect scene to look like I was dead, it was the perfect plan for a deathly ending…I heard you crying, I felt your tears falling on me, I felt you holding me close to you and I felt loved, but it was too late there was no way to tell you.' He said turning a bit away from me, his eyes down cast, I saw a tear roll off his cheek and onto his collar.
'Then dad took me to the funeral parlour, they put me in a body bag and Jimmy arrived, he gave the man the five thousand and told him to put a few bags of cement in the coffin so it didn't feel empty. But I think they ended up using a dummy for it. He then took me back to his place, gave me the anti-dote I had organised with him the week before and I was a dead man.' He looked at me with all seriousness and didn't even crack a smile, a joke or anything like I semi expected him to do.
'How did you know I was coming?' I asked curiously, 'Polyjuice potion, I was the man that told you I was dead after the lady that told you where the cottage was spoke to you. I saw you walk out and I took the chance and chased after you.' 'How much Polyjuice potion have you had over the last few months? Well year…' 'A fucking lot.'
I was shocked, he had thought this plan out so well, I was amazed but, I felt even more cheated then I did earlier. 'George…how'd you know I'd be there?' I said looking at him like he had been stalking me for months.
'I went to the book store, you're a book worm, I put two and two together…all those times you heard off people I was dead, I was fuelling those rumours.' He said taking another massive skull from the bottle.
I clenched my fist around his blanket and felt sorry for him, but I was so fucking angry 'Why did you do it George, you could've come back…You could've just stopped thinking about me and came up to me and said something…' I said looking at him, as tears made my eyes go glassy and I had to blink to see.
'I did, I just came back in a way you didn't expect me too…I knew you were devastated and alone and I toyed with your emotions like a heartless bastard. He turned away to have some more whiskey. 'I did it because I wanted to be dead without having to die, I don't deserve death… I gave Jimmy ten thousand to look after you and to get you to move on with life, I didn't want you to be alone, so I made it look like he ran the store when really I was running it the entire thing the whole time and he was a decoy, he was living my life and I lived his…Profits went up after I died, I had nothing to worry about, I got to spend my time in solitary and think about what to do next and got to spend time with you.' He took a scull of the bottle again and stared into the distance and realised the bottle was almost empty.
'How are you not dead drunk?' I asked and he looked at me and gave a little half arse attempt at a smile. 'Because I take a potion every day to contain heaps of alcohol...' I stared at him stunned, he was a fucking alcoholic. 'I'm joking, I'm just trained for alcohol.'
'I did it and I do these stupid things because I am fucking insane Hermione; you have to understand that, I set you up so I didn't feel guilty for leaving you…I couldn't stay away from you, when I just thought about you every day and waited to see you every afternoon and how much happier you were it was bringing me down. I thought she could never love me if I wasn't Jimmy. But after a while I started to get jealous.' 'Jealous! You were jealous of being Jimmy?' 'Yeah, because you liked this Jimmy guy more than you liked George. Everything in life was fine and I wanted the one thing I couldn't have, that the real George couldn't have which of course had to be you didn't it?' he scolded 'George, where is Jimmy, the real Jimmy? Does he know everything about your sick plan.' I asked slowly. He laughed 'Dead. No, I'm joking he's at his home doing whatever he does when he's not at work.' He said coldly as if he didn't care, he just looks after the store, he gets good money he doesn't really run it but, I pay him heaps to run it. Apparating is one of the greatest gifts to wizards.' He said drinking the rest of the bottle.
He shot me a look that sent chills down my spine 'I didn't see the point in going back, I don't want anyone to remember me…I wanted to wipe myself off the planet…but, I didn't see the point I was dead to everyone anyway. I was so fucking happy I didn't have to live under the shadow of Fred's death…even though I still do, but I don't have to see mum and dad getting upset over it and I didn't want to keep seeing his room every day. Fred dying was the worst thing to happen, if he was still alive, I'd still be normal…and you'd probably be with him…' he said putting his head in his hands, he bought his knees up to himself and sat there in the foetal position. 'George how can you think like that…Fred and you were totally different, sure Fred was more outgoing but, you've always been special, don't think different. I would've chosen you over Fred any day, you gotta know that.' I said desperately trying to persuade him of the truth.
'I wouldn't have George, Fred was a good friend but, I always knew you were better, that and Fred had someone so why would I make him cheat?' he turned his head and leant it on his knee 'I didn't want to keep looking at you every day knowing I could never have you. Basically I left for my own selfish reasons and I'm an ass hole and a bloody insane one!' he was getting worked up now, his alcohol was affecting him. 'I need another fucking bottle!' he began to raise his voice more angrily and threw the empty bottle across the room and it crashed into thousands of little pieces near the fire place.
'George, calm down.' I said putting my hand on his shoulder and quickly removed it. 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE HEMIONE TO HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AS A DIFFERENT PERSON? UNDER A NEW NAME?' he yelled 'No…' I said quietly, my heart beating faster fearing for what he was going to do next.
He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at it, his face getting redder, the shadow reflecting on the walls 'WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF HERMIONE? WHY DO I CUT MYSELF OFF?' he asked getting frustrated. 'George you're saying the same stuff over and over again…You're working yourself up…'
'I don't know George but maybe you should stop drinking…' he laughed 'Stop drinking huh? What are you my mother?' he said annoyed 'George, I think you're crazy and should go back to your family. They love you, they need you.' I tried to convince him, but I don't think he bought it.
He laughed again but, this time cruelly, like this was all one sick joke 'Love me, hell Hermione, they don't even know me anymore why would anything need changing, they didn't even bother coming to look for me, they didn't care, it's almost as if they never wanted me in the first place.' He was breathing faster and erratically I thought he was going to have a heart attack.
'Nothing fucking does need changing, we'll keep life the way it is…I'm not going back, I don't care what you say or what you do.' He said a bit calmer and looking over at the bottles on his desk, he walked over and came back with another bottle, pulled the cap off and threw it across the floor carelessly.
She looked at me with her beautiful light brown eyes 'George, you gotta go back, I mean you really had no reason to go…' now that set me over the edge, the way she said it as if she didn't give a fuck about me or anything or hadn't listened to the entire time. 'NO REASON TO GO? WHAT PART OF I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED DON'T YOU GET? I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND YOU TREATED ME LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT!' I yelled back, I took a scull from the bottle and slammed it down beside me, some of it spilling on the bed but, what the fuck did I care?
'Treated you like shit…when?' she asked looking at the mattress as if she really did know. 'I DON'T KNOW LETS THINK…OH YEAH AT THE WEDDING WHEN YOU FUCKING IGNORED ME THE ENTIRE TIME, THAT NIGHT YOU TALKED TO GINNY SAYING HOW FUCKING INSANE I WAS! SAYING HOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNE KILL MYSELF! WELL YOU WERE RIGHT I AM FUCKING INSANE AND I WISHED I DID ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT A THOUSAND TIMES LIKE A BROKEN RECORD! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME HERMIONE, YOU GOT NO FUCKING IDEA!' I yelled, getting off the bed and standing up.
I looked at him horrified 'George…his red hair matching his red face and furry I only ignored you at the wedding because I didn't want to get depressed at a happy event, I didn't mean to ignore you, I wanted to dance with you but, I feel like such a fucking bitch and I'm sorry for my rant to Ginny, I really am…' I said as tears came down my eyes 'I didn't realise how bad it was then…I just didn't, I was more caught up with my selfishness not to care about you as much as you cared for me…' he looked at me from above me, I felt powerless to stop him from whatever he was going to do.
'I LEFT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU THEN I THOUGHT HOW FUCKING SAD YOU WERE, SO I MADE THE DEAL WITH JIMMY TO USE YOU AS ME SO THAT YOU COULD FUCKING MOVE ON BUT, YOU COULDN'T! THEN YOU FUCKING ASK IF WE WANT TO GET MARRIED AND I COULDN'T GET MARRIED AS SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE I'M NOT JIMMY SO I HAD TO SHOW YOU THIS SHIT AND NOW WE'RE BOTH IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER! WE ALWAYS HAVE BEEN IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER FUCKING HELL WHY'D I GO BACK TO YOU I SHOULD'VE STAYED AWAY FROM YOU!' his fists wre clenched, his thick hair covering his face and I just wanted it all to end.
'You left because of me…?' I said as tears rolled down my cheeks and he didn't answer me…
I walked over to my draw set and swiped everything of it in the midst of my rage, glass of the whiskey bottles smashed on the floor and glass went everywhere. I didn't care I had no shoes on it and I felt it cutting my feet, I didn't care…the blood went on the floor in tiny puddles, I was totally beyond caring no matter how much it hurt.
'GEORGE STOP YOU'RE SCARING ME!' Hermione yelled from the bed 'SCARING YOU? SCARING YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT'S SCARY BEING ME!' I yelled back and walked back towards the bed 'WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TRY AND ATTEMPT SUICIDE! THAT TORE ME TO PIECES!' I said falling to my hands and knees onto the floor and broke down. I didn't want to lose you too, to be with someone that wasn't even dead…Hermione don't do that shit to yourself…that was the turning point, the point where I had to tell you the truth, I couldn't lie to you anymore and when I saw what that lie made you do I had to tell you the truth…' I said as tears rolled down my cheeks. 'I love you…I've always in one way another always loved you…' I said, I felt like pouring my heart out to her.
His hair was all messed up, he had little cuts on his hands from the glass and his face was all red, his socks were stained with blood as the cuts from the glass went thorough. I was considering the fact that he should go to a mental home.
I began crying I didn't like seeing him hurting himself. 'I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS SHIT!' he yelled, standing up again and stumbling and tipped his book shelf over, it crashed as it hit the floor, the books hit the ground like thunder, my heart was pounding.
'George..stop…' I said quietly, trying to get the words to come out louder was impossible I was in a stunned silence, I couldn't move from the bed I was frozen.. 'IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY? FUCK HERMIONE JUST LEAVE! IF YOU GOT NOTHING ELSE TO SAY FUCKING LEAVE!' he picked his wand out of his pocket and through it at me 'KILL ME HERMIONE, FUCKING KILL ME!' he demanded, standing in front of me with his arms out 'GEORGE I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!' he stared at me desperately 'FUCKING DO IT! YOU KNOW THE KILLING CURSE! DO IT!' he demanded and I felt my hand go to his wand and pick it up, my hand shaking like crazy, 'George…don't make me do this…' my hand tremebled so much at the thought of it…I threw it on the floor and the sound of it echosed across the walls.
He stormed over to the bed, he put his shoes on and made sure I had my shoes on still and grabbed my arm I didn't know what he was planning to do or what was going to happen next but, judging by the firm grip and the feel of his fingers digging into my arms. 'THEN WE'LL GO TOGETHER!' before I could even react we apparated to the cliffs where I had been not long before. Only this time I wasn't alone 'George…what are you doing?' I choked looking down at the crashing waves below me.
'Hermione, we're gonna jump.' He said looking over the cliff, who was this insane person I was standing near? Was he really going to kill us both…? I wanted to live to help him…
'This is what you wanted isn't it, why you came here the other night before bloody me, I had to save your fucking life!' she looked at me desperately 'GEORGE PLEASE STOP IT!' she yelled the wind was blowing my hair in front of my eyes I couldn't see a thing, her hair was all over her facem but I could see her dampened cheeks from her tears through her hair. I put out my hand to hers and she didn't take it and took a few steps back. She was cautious of my intentions, I wanted her to jump with me…the wind was howling it was a wonder it didn't blow us off the cliff.
'Hermione it's just a jump, it'll be over in seconds, we can go together.' I said like I was sober but, I was totally out of my mind. My brain was thinking hundreds of things at once, I didn't know what I wanted but, I focused on this like my life depended on it, which it did…I knew Hermione was scared as all hell and I was provoking her fear. 'I'm insane…' I yelled out to the wind 'GEORGE DON'T DO IT!' I heard Hermione yell. 'HERMIONE I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS.' I said coming to my knees in the dirt, the rocks poking through my jeans.
He was shaking, not moving and staring at me like he wouldn't jump unless he took me with him and it scared me. I wanted him to stop and just for everything to be okay but, it was far from okay it wasn't even fucking close. I took a step closer to him, I couldn't imagine what his brain was putting him through right now…I didn't want to jump off the cliff and I knew deep down her didn't want to either.
I got up again and I put out my hand and moved towards her 'Hermione please…please come with me…together, we can do this I know we can, I just know we can.' I pleaded 'I'm not just an alcoholic…H-Hermione I-I love you…' I stuttered out and she looked at me, she fell to her knees and started crying. 'George…I just don't know what to say anymore.' She yelled and coughed due to crying simultaneously.
'George, all of this time I wanted you back…now I just don't want it anymore, you're just too insane, I don't even know how you could hold a relationship together, you can't even hold your life together. You need to get your shit sorted out before you come to me…' she said harshly, I felt like that tore my soul apart.
'If that's how you feel then I guess I'll never be good enough for you…I'll never be able to live with myself, I'll never be able to love you…I guess I'll just kill myself…' I conceded and she didn't even look at me, she sat there on the ground crying… I felt like I shouldn't have ever set her up now she won't trust anyone ever again, not even me…' in the background the waves were crashing against the rocks and my heart was beating, I could feel it jumping out of my throat. I wanted to take her with me, I didn't want her on this earth alone, but I knew it could never be.
'Hermione…I'm sorry…' I stood on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the ocean crashing into the rocks below. 'George please stop! Get help do anything else but, don't jump!' she pleaded; I didn't even turn around 'I don't mean shit to you.' She said. I shuffled closer, a pebble under my foot fell off the cliff. 'That'll be me soon…' the cold air brushed against my cheeks and gave me a chill, it was like it was calling me to jump.
'Forget me Hermione, move on with life, no tricks this time, I'll fucking kill myself before I do anything else.' I said looking into the black swirling darkness below me. I looked up at the starry night sky 'Am I gonna join just Fred…?' I thought to myself and I ignored Hermione that was behind me still, I could hear her sobbing.
'George please…' 'Do you love me Hermione?' I asked and she didn't answer 'DO YOU FUCKING LOVE ME HERMIONE GRANGER! AND DON'T SAY YES BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF OKAY!' I yelled and felt the rage going through my system, flying around my body with a heated burning feeling.
I didn't know what to do…he was there on that cliff edge and I was sitting on the ground frozen not knowing what to do. If I said I loved him he'd probably think I was lying and if I said no, either way his situation looked bleak. I picked myself up and looked at him.
'George…please…' I said quietly, I tried to yell but, my voice didn't raise. I walked up behind him and grabbed his soft hand; it was cold and felt lifeless. 'Answer me…' he demanded again coldly, I was shivering, I pulled him back but, he pulled me towards the edge of the cliff and looked into my eyes. His face was gleaming with tears in the moonlight, it was a full moon and it shone brilliantly on us like we were the only two people in the world, I swallowed clearing the lump in my throat 'I love you…' he froze where he was and I took the chance as he moved us along the cliff, I looked down at the swirling black hole that looked like it wanted to swallow us up and he was distracted so I immediately apparated us back to his room.
He walked over to his bed side 'What am I doing…?' he said throwing himself on his bed, the mattress retracted as his weight hit it with full force 'I don't know what I want, I don't know what I'm doing…I just OH FUCK!' he put his face into the doona and sobbed 'I JUST WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL, I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE, DON'T WANT TO LIVE! I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M STILL HERE TORTURING MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT! I'M FUCKING INSANE AND NO ONE WILL EVER WANT ME! NO ONE!' he choked on his tears and coughed 'JUST LEAVE!' he continued sobbing, his back was shaking and I was so scared for him.
I walked over to the side of his bed slowly, I sat beside him on the end of his bed 'George…I'll help you…' I said putting my hand on his shoulder 'Shh…its okay.' I said quietly enough for him to hear. 'Hermione please just leave me…leave me alone to die…' he said shrugging my hand off. He scrunched up the doona in his fists and kept crying. His pillow had a puddle on it the size of half his head, he was a broen man.
I was tired of him being like this, I wanted to help him, and I wanted him to find life again…I wanted him to be George again…
I put my hands through his soft thick hair 'Shh, calm down, things will get better…Everything will be fine' he was shaking violently 'I'm so cold Hermione…I can't feel a thing…' 'George…' I rubbed his back and leant down and kissed his head.
I took my coat off and put it on the bed post. 'C'mon Georgie, I'll put you to bed.' I stood up over him and pulled as much blanket as I could out so he could get in. 'I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP!' he yelled angrily and I knew he was just depressed and he couldn't help feeling like this.
I didn't want to get up, she tried pulling me up but, I dropped my weight and glued myself to the bed. I was too heavy for her and I didn't think she realised how heavy I was till she fell back on the floor with a bang.
'Fuckin' hell…' she said. I rolled over on my back and stared at the fire place, I felt lifeless, I put my right arm over my head and my left arm on my stomach and just lost myself in the flames, I didn't pay attention to Hermione standing near the bed with her head in her hands. Her curls covering her face, she was frustrated and annoyed. She was so beautiful it made me feel like I didn't deserve her even more.
'George, c'mon get up…' I didn't feel like moving, there was no will to continue, no will to get up, I don't even know why I had the God given will to breathe. I was putting her through torment as well so it wasn't helping either of us…I was a wreck Hermione was trying to help me back on my feet, I swear she was a guardian angel.
I wiped my eyes with my skivvy sleeve and looked down at him, he stuck out his arm towards me, I reached my hands out and locked it with his hands and I pulled him up and he stood beside me. 'I'll get the glass out of your feet…' I got him to lied down and I used my wand to clean the glass out and wrapped a bandage around his feet. He flinched at the pain but, I think the amount of scotch he had consumed stopped him from feeling anything.
I helped him up and he didn't look at me and he was still tipsy as all hell. I pulled back the doona and held his arm as I helped him get into bed. I sat beside him and stroked his hair gently, running my hand across his head in a circular motion; he moved his head to the hand motion and lied on his back. He had his eyes closed, he was calm and relaxed finally he wasn't on a rage anymore. He looked like a sleeping angel, hi radiant hair, his peaceful look on his face I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or just calming down.
'You're an angel Hermione…' he slurred and turned his head towards me, staring right into my eyes, a tear slid down his cheek and passed his ear. It was funny how I was just thinking the same thing about him.
'I'm dead…' he said 'No you're not...' I replied back giving him a small smile 'Yet…' he said looking into my eyes not breaking contact, they looked lifeless and seeing him so depressed made me want to break down and cry, but I had to be strong for him. 'You'll be okay…' I reassured him and ran my hands through his hair. The fire reflected off the glass and glinted in all areas of the room around us.
'You'll be fine George, I know you will…' I said as tears came to my eyes, and landed on the edge of the mattress. 'It's been almost a year and half Hermione where does it fucking end? In ten years? When I die? I can't let it go I just can't! It haunts me every fucking day!' he said angrily, his face was red and full of hate; his eyes said he was broken. He was all broken and I wanted to put him back together again. 'Do you want me to lie beside you?' I asked soflty and he nodded slightly.
His hair spread around his head like a lions mane, I always thought of George as a lion for some reason, I just knew deep down was a man with a heart of gold and a will as strong as steel…just now he was depressed and all alone in the world and I knew I had to do something, anything, anything I possibly could in my power. If George did die, I definitely wanted nothing more than to go with him…I lied beside him and he rolled over to face me, I put my hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes talking to him.
'I'm so cold…I've got no soul, no heart…nothing…' he said as a tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it off quickly with his hand. 'It's not beating, I don't feel like I'm breathing, I don't feel fucking anything!' he said running his hands wildly through his hair. 'Calm down…shh…' 'Hermione…I love you…' he said as more tears rolled down his cheeks 'I love you too George.' He put his hand on my face and moved my hair out of my eyes. 'You're so beautiful.' He said moving closer, I could feel my knees touching his legs.
'I'm such a bitch, I shouldn't cry like a fucking bitch but I do, I'm weak!' he yelled. Hearing this broke me…'YOU'RE NOT WEAK!' I snapped back 'You're a real man George, real men can cry, real men are like you, they feel things, you're human, it's what humans do!' I said squeezing his hand tightly 'I'm not giving up on you.' I said kissing his knuckles
'Hermione I don't need you to tell me this shit! Don't lie to me!' he argued back with disbelief. I felt tears edging my eyes again, letting them slowly fall and I sat up. 'I'm not gonna sit here and watch you die damn it George!' I collapsed onto his chest 'I can't!' I felt his hand lay gently on my back 'Hermione…' he whispered gently.
I didn't want to see her cry, I didn't want to be the one that made her cry but as I looked at her now that she was lying across my chest crying I knew I meant a lot to her. I felt her heart beat against mine, her warmth, her body against mine in a helpless heap. I was tired; I didn't want to fight anymore… I didn't want to keep arguing with her…I just wanted to lie down and go to sleep, wake up and do it all tomorrow.
'Look just lie down beside me…please.' I said gently, whilst running my hand through her thick ringlets. My hands getting caught in them and I traced my hand down her spine. Out of all the things I felt, I felt most alive when she was with me… 'Okay…' she said, she sat up and sat on the edge of her bed taking her shoes off, I pulled back the doona and she got into bed again and lied beside me, staring at me from her side of the bed.
It broke me; just looking at her broke me…I felt so alone until that point and she made me appreciative of life for that short time, for life had bought us together now she was lying on the opposite side of the bed looking at me. I picked my wand off the bed side table and flicked it at the light switch and the light turned out. She watched me carefully, watching my every move with her eyes.
'George, close your eyes and go to sleep…' she whispered. 'I can't sleep…' I said pulling the doona over my shoulders. 'George, just listen…' she said. Her eyes glinting in the flames of the fire.
'I don't feel alive…' I said as my eyes went glassy 'I can't feel anything…' she reached out for my hand and moved closer, I looked at what she was doing. She lifted my hand and put it on the top of her chest 'Feel that?' I knew what she meant; underneath my hand was a heartbeat. 'You know yours is beating George just like mine.' She was so calm and said it so soothingly that I knew there was no way I'd be there beside her tonight if I had died…but where I was now felt like heaven.
I took my hand back, I could feel myself blushing intensely, I was just glad she couldn't see it. 'Now Georgie, close your eyes…' I stared into her gentle eyes and felt the monster inside of me going to sleep. I closed my eyes and heard and felt the doona and the sheet as well as the mattress moving. I felt her against me; she had wrapped her arms around my waist tightly and rested her head between the crook in my neck. She nuzzled into it gently and sent chills down my spine.
''Mione…' I whimpered as she pulled herself against me, I thought I was dreaming and didn't open my eyes. 'Shh George…' I slowly opened my eyes and saw I wasn't dreaming. I got my hand and bought it to her head and stroked her hair.
I just couldn't hold it in anymore 'Oh fuck I love you.' I said quickly and wrapped my arms around her so tightly, bought her up to me and pushed my lips against hers and kissed her, claiming her lips as mine and wrapping my arms around her like I didn't ever want her to leave me. 'God George…I love you…' she said as I sucked and nibbled her lips lightly. She was warm; I never wanted to let her go. I put my legs around her so she was trapped willingly; I kissed from her forehead, down the side of her cheek, her chin, her neck and her lips, spending a few seconds on each kiss. 'George…don't leave me again…' she said running her hands through my hair and looking me right in the eyes.
'Do you want me to stay?' I didn't want her to, I just wanted her to feel special and spoilt right now, and after what I put her through tonight I didn't want to experience anything enjoyable. 'No Hermione, you've done enough for me tonight…' she ignored my wished and sucked my bottom lip, kissing me all over my cheeks 'You're loved, you've gotta know that, I love you.' I felt totally 'My 'Mione…' I whispered, she kissed down my chin, around my neck and pulled me close to her chest, I held her tighter. The more she did so the more I was beginning to want her instead I gave her one last long kiss. 'George…' she whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine 'I want you to know I love you…' she kissed me on the cheek and I kissed her on the forehead. 'Goodnight Georgie,,,; she said running her hands through my hair.
'Don't leave me…' I said pulling her closer in fear 'I won't…I promise.' She said yawning, she was dozing off to sleep and I could feel it as her hold relaxed around me and she buried her head against my chest listening to my heartbeat. I looked down on her 'Sweet dreams.'
As she fell asleep with her head against my chest I knew for the rest of the night not even for a second would I let her go.