Chapter 10

I tried to keep the disgust from my face as Eric filled me on what happened the night before. It hadn't been my imagination; Alexei really was out of his mind. His break with his mind was so severe that he was immune to edicts. When he had 'episodes', they were violent and someone always died. It had reached the point where he couldn't be left alone. That was what happened last night. The three of them had been at the house in Shreveport. Eric had gone to reach in the fridge for a blood and when he looked up Alexei was gone, and so was one of my kitchen knives. He had run off.

According to Eric, it had been getting worse. That was why Ocella had stopped here. He thought somehow being near more of his blood would help heal Alexei. Eric doubted that and so did I. This wasn't a slight depression, his mind was broken and quality time with 'big bro' wasn't going to mend it.

"He is a visitor that killed," I pointed out. "If it gets out, staying won't be an option for either of them."

Eric gave me a frown that said I was too eager about that and I didn't try to hide it. We both knew the Laws that had been established by the Republic. Indira was the Area Representative. She had to report kills and there was a vote on if the vampire, guest or not, would be exiled. Since Alexei was crazy, that was a no brainer. It also hadn't escaped my notice that the only reason Ocella and Alexei hadn't been fully vetted was because they entered on Eric's name. It was as good as gold in these parts.

"He is my Maker," Eric said. "That title means more than you can ever understand."

Just knowing that he didn't expect me to understand made me desperate to do so. It wasn't the first time in my life that I struggled to grasp a concept so intangible but yet so powerful and inexplicable. I wondered about it all the time, I even envied it, but Eric was right. I grew up the only human, live child of a vampire King. I still couldn't fully comprehend it.

Zee was the irresponsible one but once it nearly got him killed. I would never forget it because it was the only time I ever saw a King cry. I was nine and in bed with my dad like always. Then he woke up looking as though half his heart was being ripped from him by force. My father whispered Zee's name over and over as bloody tears filled his eyes. Before they fell, I sat up and wiped them away, licking the proof off my fingers.

"No," I told him. Young as I was, I infused my voice with all the authority he'd instilled in me. "You are a King. You cannot cry no matter your pain."

He was a King; he was my King. Unlike a princess, he had no outlet for his tears, not even in the rain. Tears were shameful and, come what may, I would spare him that. The tears stopped, but he held me so tight against him that it hurt.

That night, Sai raced space and time to save Zee from a pissed off daemon lover that would have bled him dry. I didn't know what happened to her but the event made me curious. How had my father known? I knew I wasn't vampire but would he feel me if I was in danger? I asked him the question a few days later. He told me the truth like he always did.

"I do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"Yes but nothing is a hundred percent," I countered. "Would you feel it?"

"No. You are not vampire," He'd told me. "So the bonds that bind you to me are of my heart and in my blood but not rooted to my nature. Where your brothers are concerned, it is opposite. I took their lives so I could bind them to my undead one, as my creator did to me. Can you understand that?"

"I'm different," I surmised. "I don't want to be…I want to be a part of you too."

He hadn't had to pick me up in a while. Instead he dropped down to my eye level and held my face in his hands. "You will be," He kissed my nose. "Just not right now,"

"Then, when?" I asked.

"When you are ready."

I frowned. That was just too open-ended a response for me. "When will that be precisely?"

He shrugged. "Yo no se."

Telling me he didn't know was also not acceptable. "I will accept your best guess then."

He laughed as he began walking away. "When I say so, for now you will stay with Lysander. He was hurt badly and I need you to make him feed as he should. Can you do that for me, mija?"

I sniffed at him as if he had insulted me. Everyone knew that I liked Zee the best. If that wasn't enough to get him to comply, he owed me a ton of favors. "Of course, Daddy."

"Good girl," Then he left with Nim and Sai leaving me to tend to Zee.

No, I didn't know what it felt like but I knew the value. I'd envied all my brothers that one thing. I knew the first years after the turn fortified the bond. I knew it logically, but when it came to Eric I was one hundred percent emotion. There was no place for logic. My thoughts were pulling me all over when I noticed a glazed look fall over Eric's face. It lasted only a second. It was enough to tell me that he was going to leave. It wasn't just that, he was being summoned. I grit my teeth against the inexplicable fury I felt at that.

"I'll come with you."

"No." He said firmly.

If only on principal alone, I had to argue. He knew better than to think he could bark orders at me. He knew it too, because he raised his hand in a show of submission.

"Forgive me, Love."

Of course he was already forgiven. It wasn't until he gathered me in his arms did I feel just how on edge he was.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

So what if I was fishing for excuses? I didn't need anything major. I just needed a reason that was semi-defensible, and then I would give into my building hostility toward Ocella.

Eric smiled. It was my smile, but the tension on his face couldn't be ignored. "No," He told me. "I am listening for trouble after what happened yesterday. I want to be able to contain any eventuality."

That was a very Eric answer. While he was no longer a sheriff, my husband still had the mindset. My hold on him eased somewhat. Still, a part of me, the irrational, emotional part, wanted him to be able to tune into me as deeply as he was able to do with his kin. I could envy all I wanted but it wasn't going to change anything. I asked a more important question.

"Will you be okay?"

He nodded. "Ocella would embrace the veil if it meant saving me. The amount of respect, and prestige it gives him isn't something he can live without. It is actually the only reason why he can continue to live the way he does."

The way Ocella lived was the opposite of mainstreaming. No wonder he could cross in and out of states and even countries without invitation but yet suffered no consequence. He was a vampire gypsy and he was using Eric's name and accomplishments in the vampire world to do it. If my opinion of that boy loving pig could get any lower, it would have.

Eric cupped my face. "I know that you don't care for him, nor do I expect you to. I also know very well that he is trying to antagonize you."

I looked at him in question. If he had known why hadn't he done anything?

"Ocella is petty. I do not think that will ever change." He continued. "He feels threatened by my attachment to you. Ignore his antics, I am."

Oh. I've been trying to do just that or did he not notice? I also didn't know for just how long I could ignore him.

"I'm supposed to let him walk all over me?"

Eric snorted a laugh. "As if you were capable of such a thing, but please keep it light."

He knew me too well. "I can definitely do that." Now that we had that out of the way I felt better.

"Ride with me to get your car. I want you to tell me about work."

I punched him playfully. "You just want to laugh at me again."

He was grinning as he took my hand and led me out of the house.

Ocella was already at Fangtasia when Eric and I arrived. He had two fangbangers in the office. They were young. In fact, I was sure that they had fake ID's. There was no way they were twenty-one years of age. The boy was a no brainer. The girl was a shocker. When I got a better look at her, it made more sense. She was a younger, dumber, skinnier version of me. I saw in her mind that it gave her confidence. All it did was risk her life.

"I found a proper meal for you," Ocella said, running his hand over the girl's arm. "Unlike what you have grown used to, she hasn't an ounce of excess."

It took me longer than it should to realize that I'd just been called fat! It wasn't just that, he was inferring that I was old news. The Roman was playing with his life. I forgot that I was allowed to go tit for tat. I saw red. I wanted to break his face and that of the little skank who was eyeing my husband.

"Thank you," Eric said coolly. "I will seek her out when I get hungry enough." Which was going to be never, I knew.

"At the moment, I need to work."

It was a dismissal to his Maker and an out for me. Ocella left with Alexei in tow. I watched them go, but I couldn't believe that I had missed a chance to hit back. I was shocked that he flagrantly insulted me in front of Eric. Never mind that I was standing right there. I knew the game plan was to ignore Ocella's antics. Eric would know best what was effective, but I just felt a certain way about it. I was even more angrier that I hadn't said a thing.

He reached for me and I shook my head. "We just talked about this…"

I caught the scent and heard the nervous gait of Bruce, the accountant, as he approached. "We did," I told him.

I left. I wasn't fit to be around anyone. For a long while I drove around aimlessly. Then I found myself out in front of Merlotte's. I'd been meaning to check on Sam anyway. It was a greater incentive that this was one place that I knew I had a zero chance of running into Ocella. Not only was Merlotte's heavy with the scent of a shifter, it was frequented by a local pack of werepanthers from Hot Shot.

To my shock some people were actually happy to see me! Well, that wasn't entirely true. They were relieved that Eric hadn't murdered me. That was something. Even Andy was glad I wasn't dead! It was something indeed. I nursed a drink and played a game of pool with Terry. When the night began to die down, I went to the bar and gave Sam a hand.

"You know we're hiring if you need a job," He said. "My best waitress just up and quit on me."

I laughed. "Old habits I guess," I said, continuing to clean the counter. "Plus I've been drinking for free all night." I even had a fried chicken dinner basket. It was the newest addition to the growing menu at Merlotte's and it took every shred of decorum I possessed not to lick my plate, it was that good. I told him so.

"That's what draws folks since SugarFoot's opened up."

I'd heard of the place in Monroe. It was flashy and cheap. They had wings and beer much like Merlotte's but they also had things such as 'Wet t-shirt' contests, 'All you can eat Wing Wednesdays,' and enough televisions to cover every game on any given night. Sam didn't want to compete. I was happy that he found different avenues as to stay afloat. In lieu of us talking about the menu I found that he wanted the place to become more restaurant than bar. He just didn't have the money to expand the kitchen and remodel the inside.

"I could loan it to you," I offered.

He had his mouth ready to refuse, but I stopped him. Sheesh! I had no idea what it was with penises that made them not want to take money from vaginas.

"I said loan, not hand out. We could have something drawn up. Plus I already know an accountant who would help you make sure your numbers made sense. You could also use Alcide. He's working on the remodel at Fangtasia and it's going really well."

"I know you work too, but you can't just loan me or anyone else fifteen thousand without asking your husband." He said. "That's the kind of thing you two should talk over."

It might be but so was the subject of his Maker coming to invade our space. I pushed the bitchy thought aside. I knew that it was outside of Eric's control. I didn't fault my husband that. What was bothering me was the fact that Ocella was getting under my skin and I knew he shouldn't. Worst of all, I felt as though Eric ignoring Ocella's antics was Eric doing nothing to defend me. I knew that wasn't the case but it was just how I felt.

"He knows me and he trusts my judgment," I told Sam. Saying those words filled me with pride because it was the truth. "He knows that I would help a friend."

I wrote Sam a check and left. I felt so much better as I began the drive to Shreveport. For the first time in ages the farm house seemed the better bet but I missed Eric. I hated that I'd left angry. With his Maker around, I needed to let him know more than ever that I was on his side no matter what. After what I'd done, what I cost him, he deserved more from me. He deserved everything, absolute trust no matter my emotions and blind faith.

I had taken everything from Eric; money, power and his Queen. I was the reason why he and the vampires in the former Area 5 had been subject to Victor Madden's iron fist. Not once did I feel as if he longed to have those things back. Not once did I feel as if he resented me. It only fortified my urge to do anything I could to even the scales. If it meant being nice or a doormat to his Maker then so be it.

When I got home, I was expecting to have to swallow, grin, and bear more bullshit from Ocella. I parked on the street and used the front door. I walked to the door not sure what I would find once inside our home. There was no one else there. Eric was waiting for me, half naked. The instant the door opened I knew that it was one of those nights. He was insatiable and would be more than a little rough. I couldn't fight him. I didn't want to. I gave in to him.

Sex made me feel closer to him than I did my own beating heart. With the events of the week I needed it. I needed him. Having him touch me was just as thrilling as the first time. I couldn't hide how good he made me feel. There was no holding back for me when he made me cum. I was lost when he came in me with his fangs buried in my neck. The tangled mixture of pleasure and pain was almost too much for me to handle. I clung to him as my body shuddered in ecstasy while receiving his seed.

I was expecting them to be gone, but Sunday night found Ocella and Alexei here. I was eager to leave, not my husband, but his kin, Pam included. I thought she was reacting to them even more poorly than I was. I was yet to see her without an empty look or a frown. In the past few days I'd hit Ocella back, albeit lightly, as Eric had instructed. He hadn't been expecting it, so he had no comebacks but I found he didn't need any. Eric stepped in. I knew my husband was trying to come off as defending of his Maker to save face, but deep down I felt rubbed the wrong way about it. My head and my heart continued to war, and I was glad to leave the confusion behind. When Preston came for me, I was waiting alone at the farm house. It was a first, I felt it in my heart and saw it by the relief on his face.