The morning light seeped in through the hole at the top of the cave. Jareth woke up first. He shrieked as he noticed that David Bowie had unconsciously wrapped his arms around Jareth.

"GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!" Jareth shouted, awaking the startled Bowie.

"What's going on, where am I, Ange did you get the toilet paper!" he said.

David sat up and noticed that he was right next to Jareth.

"Oh sorry I…err…was having a dream…I am still here" said Bowie.

Jareth mockingly stared at him.

"What the hell are you doing sleeping right next to me!" he shouted.

"Sorry!" he said sarcastically. "For God's sake it was just a harmless mistake. Anyway didn't you know that I was bi. I go both ways you know." said David.

Jareth looked in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"So you decide to come and sleep with YOURSELF!!" he shouted.

Their argument woke up Sarah and Angie. Angie jumped up gleefully.

"Morning everyone" she said.

Sarah gazed around the room, fazed by this whole outrageous situation she was in. As her eyes darted around she noticed a pair of eyes gleaming at her from a dark corner of the cave. She screamed. As the eyes came into the light she noticed that it was just a goblin.

"Phew!" she sighed.

Then suddenly, hundreds of goblins came into sight. They all stood there staring at the four humans. Sarah noticed that Jareth was looking scared.

"They're only goblins Jareth" she laughed.

"Oh no" he said. "These are not just goblins. These are hobgoblins."

"There's no difference" said Sarah.

"YES THERE IS" he snapped. She forget how temperamental he was. "This is their cave. And if somebody intrudes on their territory then…"

"Then what" said David.

"Then they get mad." said Jareth evilly.

"Ahhhhhhh!" screamed David. "I can't afford to die. I've still got a life to live, I've got Oscars to win, I've got children to have, I've got…"

Jareth slapped David Bowie across the face.

"Snap out of it!" he shouted. "Now everyone…stay calm!

It was too late to stay calm. The hobgoblins were already mad.

"CHARGE!!" one shouted.

All of them ran towards the humans and began attacking them. They pulled Sarah's hair. They smacked Angie's face. They tugged at Jareth's tights and as for Bowie…well, they seemed to find him most amusing, so they picked him up and threw him about in the air.

"HELP!" he shouted, but no one could help him, even if they actually wanted to.

The hobgoblins didn't really harm any of them. They just did what annoyed them most. Sarah tried hard not to let her hair get messed up. Angie's face was now smeared in lipstick. Not a pleasant sight! Jareth tried desperately hard to pull his breeches up. He didn't want to lose all of his dignity. He didn't want Sarah to see what underpants he was wearing, not when he was supposed to be the majestic Goblin King. Bowie felt sick with all the ups and downs. Probably because of all he drank the night before. His head swirled around with dizziness and pain. At one point the thought he could actually see stars! If he were drunk he would be singing Starman right now.

Eventually all the mayhem stopped. They wondered why the hobgoblins had given up on them. It wasn't like they had gotten bored. They found it very amusing seeing them all suffer.

"Why have they stopped Jareth" said Sarah.

"I haven't the faintest idea. The only thing that can stop a hobgoblin is their raging hormones but…"

Jareth stopped talking as he noticed that all of the hobgoblins were forming a queue. As they followed the line they saw that they were queuing up to see Angie. Angie sat there smooching each hobgoblin as they all took turns to sit on her lap. Jareth, Sarah and Bowie all laughed at the sight.

"Well she won't be bothering us anymore." said Jareth.

Angie looked up at the others.

"Look, do you three mind getting out of here so me and the hobbies can get down to the real business" said Angie.

"Well we'll need some help getting out" said Sarah. Then she realised that Angie did not like speaking to her. She nudged David to talk to her.

"Well we'll need some help getting out" he said.

Angie instructed all of the hobgoblins to form a tower, so that each of them in turn could climb up and out of the pit. Jareth, Sarah and Bowie all got out safely.

"Hey I thought you could turn into an owl, couldn't you just have flown out" said David to Jareth.

Jareth stood their with a shocked looked on his face. The shock soon turned to embarrassment when he realised that he in fact could have gotten out of the cave all along.

David and Sarah secretly laughed at him as they walked back to the castle.

Back at the castle and the three sorrowful humans all sat together.

"What a day" sighed Bowie.

"I know" said Sarah.

"Well you know what, there's one thing that will cheer us all up." said David as he held out a bottle of vodka that he had secretly hidden.

Later that evening…

"It's onlllly…" sang David

"It's onllly…" sand Jareth.

"FOREVER!" they both sang together as they put their arms on each others shoulders.

"Not long at all" Sarah joined in.

"Lost and lonely" they all sang.

"Underground, UNDERGROUNNNND!"