I look at my phone, waiting for Maddie to reply. I've sent her 5 texts and she hasn't replied to any of them. I can't take this anymore.

I walk to her house and knock on the door and her mum opens it, her eyes red.

'Dan' she says, surprised to see me.

'Hi, is Maddie in? She hasn't been replying to my texts, I'm worried about her' I say.

Her mum lets out a strangled sob. I wonder what I've said.

'Wait here' she says before leaving.

She returns a few minutes later carrying two white envelopes. She wordlessly hands them to me. I look at the, one has 'open first' on it and the other is blank.

'Um. Thanks?'

'I'm sorry Dan' she says before hugging me. 'I really am'.

She steps back and says goodbye before closing the door. I stand on the doorstep, more confused than ever.

I shakily open the 'open first' envelope, afraid of what I might find out.

I smile as I see Maddie's loopy writing covering the page.

"Dan,

Please go to the top of Kite's Point and open the second letter. Please.

Maddie x"

My heart starts thumping and the blank envelope feels heavy in my hand before heading to Kite's Point.

I reach the top and look around; smiling as I remember all the god times I spent with Maddie here. I walk over to the flat boulder and sit down, staring at the blank envelope.

My hands are shaking. I feel sick. I slowly open the envelope and pull out the second letter, again, covered by her messy handwriting.

"Dan,

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Please forgive me.

But I wanted you to remember me as the happy, healthy girl who enjoyed her life.

By the time you read this, I won't be here anymore. I had cancer. But the cancer had spread to my liver. There was nothing anyone could do. I was past the stage of help.

So that's why I made my list, those were things I wanted to do before I died. And I'm so glad I did them with you, Dan.

I wanted to tell you. I really did. But I knew it'd break you. I didn't want you to be sad. I wanted you to enjoy your last moments with me. I wanted those times to be happy, not sad.

But I hope you have a long and happy life Dan, I really do. You deserve it.

But if you ever find yourself sad when thinking about me, then maybe it's time to forget me. I don't want you to be sad. Maybe it's better than you forget me and be happy then remember me and be sad.

I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me Dan. You're one in a million.

And I love you, so so much.

I always have. And I always will.

All my love,

Maddie

X"

I stare at the letter.

I feel the tears drip down my face.

I didn't even realise I was crying until now.

I look into the distance, the same view I've looked at so many times, by myself and with Maddie, taking in every little detail.

My sobs turn into screams of pain and sadness. A few birds fly out of the trees as they hear my voice, scattering into the sky. Flying away.

Far, far away.

I look up into the sky. The view hasn't changed much. But I guess that's the secret, if you're ever wishing for things to go back to the way there were, then you just have to look up.

'Bye Maddie. I love you' I whisper, my voice getting carried by the wind. 'I hope it's beautiful up there. I really do'.