SORRY for the AWFULLY long wait but I've felt a bit lost recently so I didn't have any time to post. This is, Mesdames et Messieurs, the last chapter of this fiction! Please enjoy your reading.
1945. Hera-kun's letters have been reassuring all the way, and it's been a good way for me to hold on reality. The number of dead is amazing in my side but also the enemy. It's blinding. To keep our sanity, we must be distant to the number of deaths. However, in the same time, we need something to not become completely insensitive. His letters help me imagine a future that only a few of us dared to picture. A future with him, far from pain and blood stains.
This day is hot. The humidity of the air, to which I should be used to breathing, is choking. I feel like being covered in hot, dirty mist and it's of course not the best feeling on earth. It's very difficult to fall asleep tonight. A very tense atmosphere is weighing over me. I doze off, after hours of trying to find sleep.
This dream is strange. I am talking with Herakles. He seems nervous, and he wants to tell me something but every time he tries, his throat tightens and he coughs intensively. I try to touch him but his skin fades away as if it was made of clouds. And the skin doesn't reappear; it's vanishing little by little. I try to hug him, and he disappears completely. Tears run down my face. But they are really burning, and soon I can feel the skin of my cheeks cracking, on my stomach and hands too, until it scatter away like dry paint. I try to scream, but even my mouth is only made of bones now. I try to run but it's painful, my legs aren't willing to move and when they do, they flutter away like dust.
Suddenly, there's something enormous. Something I can't even feel is happening, making me implode, and then there's a stunning pain in my stomach. Then the world fades to black.
We're free, at last. It's a great feeling, to know your fights for the country had paid. To know it's the end of it, that the people will be safe and sound. We won't suffer oppression. We stood for ourselves until the end. I cried tears of joy at that time.
The first thing I noticed in our daily life was of course the absence of soldiers in the streets but also the radio. It's back to normal, now. We could hear Churchill saying that in the future, you will not say that Greeks fight like heroes, but that heroes fight like Greeks. It warmed me up so much, to know that despite being betrayed by my friends, I'm not looked down on by the others. I've been a real actor in this war too.
But Kiku is not done with the war. We're in 1945. I've longed to meet him again but I know it won't be possible until the war is over. Over there, in East Asia, they are living different fights, and I understand he has a different opinion, since I don't really know what's going on over there.
Today was hot and dry. Even the night doesn't seem to cool down the atmosphere. It's quiet. And I'm awake, because there's no way even I could sleep with that kind of weather. I sat up on my bed and turned on the radio.
I heard the most shocking thing in all my life. The message kept resounding in my head, piercing me all over like deadly knifes until the meaning of it struck my mind.
"Little boy, the new American uranium bomb, was released on Hiroshima, a big town in Japan."
"Little boy"… Is that the name they give to a bomb? What kind of bomb is a uranium bomb? God knows what effect it has… I hope Kiku is alright.
"Its power yield is 1000 tons TNT equivalent. Hiroshima isn't on the map anymore."
Next time I thought about it, I was in the plane. My lips are beginning to bleed because of me biting them, and every muscle of my body is tense and aching. Each minute passing must be hell for him, but after all I doubt he's conscious. At least he doesn't feel the pain. I am praying during the whole flight.
I feel very cold. My skin is stirring, and my mouth feels dry. It's as if it was sealed, because I can't bring myself to open it. I am desperately hungry, and all my body feels extremely weak, as if every bone of its structure was a pile of dust. There is a thick but clean smell that is not human. Sterilized… I hear a ticking noise, light at first but quickly growing overwhelming. There are also people talking in a low voice. Where the hell am I?
I open my dry eyes.
Hospital. Sweet white bed sheets that lies against my body that feels thinner than the usual. I feel no pain. The room is completely white, empty and cold for what I guess is a summer day. I try to sit up, but the sudden ache is so strong it pins me on the bed. No sound is coming out of my mouth, only a weak, shaky breath. I sit up successfully this time and I look around. There's something moving in a corner of the room. I jump out of my skin. It's a mirror. And then I see this is my reflection, and it's so surprising I don't recognize myself at first. I'm pale. White. There's blue under my eyes. Something stings my arm: I understand that the only thing that connects the once great empire Japan to life is a mere infusion pump. I sigh, and when my breath leaves my body, it's just like my chest became an empty ribcage. I'm weak. My mind is cloudy at the moment as I try to recall. Nothing comes.
Wait, yes, something comes.
The door is opening.
I think of everything I could have dreamed of. I think of the past hellish five years. I understand how lonely I've been the entire time. I understand there's only this man that can give a meaning to my life. This man is there before me, as I stare at him, lost, half crying, crouched in my light hospital clothes. And I don't know how happy I should be now, as he steps forward after what seemed an eternity, and his pace holds not any single doubt. The heat that surrounds me is breathtaking, as well as those powerful arms that lock around me. The scent, the heat, the feeling is this man's.
Herakles.
I take a deep breath and leave my mouth open, and I lift my chin to his neck. My mouth is held open because I try to say something and when words are forming on my lips, they vanish immediately. So I'm just standing here, crying against the shoulder of this ridiculously tall man, my man.
"Herakles" My voice is shaky, as if I couldn't believe it.
"Kiku"
No word is needed. I had forgotten how deep and passionate his voice could be. I feel him sigh. Then his hand comes up to my cheek while his other one is settled around my hips. He nuzzles my hair, just above my ear, and his breath is really hot. I kiss his neck slowly. He embraces me tightly. Then he faces me and bends his head to press his lips against mine. Our first kiss since four years is the simplest in the world, and it's clumsy of course, just like the first time, but it's soft and sweet. I taste his lips the more I can, but mine are shaky. We part, and he looks at me with his deep green eyes and my lips are still slightly moving.
"I'm sorry, he says in a breath.
-Sorry, Hera-kun, it's me, I…
-No, Kiku, I couldn't be there on time.
-What? No, you're here, that's the best about it.
-Kiku, do you know about your people?"
My look darkens. I close my eyes and move my lips numbly, until I manage to choke a word.
"Yes, Herakles. Hiroshima… And Nagasaki… Are no more? Is that so?"
He gives me an understanding look. He has guessed I didn't want him to say anything. So he just takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He sits next to it, and I burry my lower body inside the covers. He leaves my cold hand in his warm one and rests his head in the crook of my neck. We sit there, listening to each other's breath.
After this, it is of course hard to recover, but Kiku is doing a good job, even though he's in a crisis. Soon enough, there's a big meeting between all the nations that had been involved in the war. As we enter, everyone seems to act happy but they all have their problems and wounds. England has a broken leg, France has several plasters on his face and forearms. America and both Italies seems to be doing quite well, though Romano seems a bit beaten. The room falls in an impressive silence when the German countries enter in: Germany has both his forearms completely bandaged. Hungary has a bandage on her neck that is going down her chest, and she's pushing Austria, who's in a wheel chair. Prussia seems to be the worst of all. There's a bandage wrapped around his forehead and right eye. His left arm and legs are broken, and he seems to have trouble breathing comfortably.
So every nation had their load of problems. But no one wants to complain: it would be indecent regarding the others, especially the former Axis, who is maybe the most damaged part.
We try to lighten the mood, and everyone is following, because we all want to forget. It ends up with teary pats on the back, warm embraces and bursts of laughter. It ends up being quite nice, I must say, to see them all again. At the end of the meeting, we stay a bit inside the room to chat, and I casually kiss Kiku, and I can tell he's very –very- embarrassed about it being public and everything, but he really puts his mind into it. We part and Kiku pauses before blushing like mad. He is looking behind me. I turn around and I see Feliciano, staring agape at us. I look at Kiku again and I burst into laughter. Kiku is fidgeting nervously.
"So… You two were going out together?"
It's as if he's asked Kiku about the meaning of life on Earth.
"Uh! I… I mean… Well, technically, I would say…
-Yes, we are, I put simply.
-Veee~ I'm… I'm sorry…" He laughs nervously then, but I make a face to say it's alright.
It's a normal morning in Tokyo. Recently, Herakles has come over and he's staying for a week. I'm quite happy he found a hole in his schedule, because he seems to have a lot of work. It's about seven o' clock, and Hera-kun will tell me that I should wake later but my tension doesn't allow me to stay asleep past this hour, so I just wander around the house, cleaning here and there and telling myself my bad maniacal habit hasn't disappeared. I walk into this old room, a kind of storage one. And it's definitely dirty, despite my Yamato Nadeshiko personality. I begin to clean it, of course –what did you expect?-. Then, under an old yukata, I find a cardboard box, whose corners are distorted in dampness, and I open it.
Letters, tons of letters. The writing is always the same: this round, soft style is definitely Herakles'. I pause in awe, but I quickly look at the date… Some are from 1941, some from 1943, and many others. I proceed to read some. Some of them are happy and warm, some are passionate while others are a bit more depressing, but still with a tone of hope in it. I relish in the reading, these kindly-written words are warming my heart. Some make me cry, and some remind me of happy times. The first letter makes me stop, especially the last sentence. So I sit here in the middle of a hundred letters spread all over the floor. I stand up and make my way through the papers. I run to the bedroom where Herakles is still sleeping on the bed. The noise I make doesn't wake him up but then I kneel down next to his head and I kiss his forehead.
"Wh… oh, Kiku, good morning, what are you?"
I kiss him on the lips to silence him. Soon enough, he is caressing my hair and kissing back passionately.
It is not a matter of words anymore.
-End-
UWAAAh! It's done! Oh, thank you so much, you readers, thanks to those who have waited for this chapter to come up (though I could have trolled and posted this chapter four years after, and you would know like Kiku that this is an awfully long wait)! I love you all, and I hope to see you soon again! I will continue my headcanon fiction so please be patient! Thank you again!