Egoist Pandamonium

New Arrangements: Act III

Nowaki had left some time ago to make a couple deliveries.

As Hiroki had surmised, he had made quick work of the filing. He'd also taken a few orders by phone but was more than happy to allow Hara to deal with the actual physical customers.

In particular, the boy seemed to relish all the high school girls who stopped in, many who apparently were looking for Nowaki, hoping he was there working.

Despite the fact Hiroki generally found high-schoolers (well really actually most people) annoying, he couldn't help but feel a bit of relief too, knowing from the way Hara was flirting with the girls there was no way he would be interested in Nowaki. Not that he was really all that worried: Nowaki's faithfulness was the one area of his life where he had great confidence. Though it still pissed him off when other people chased after his giant, which happened often.

With most of the tasks Nowaki had set out for him attended to and the shop momentarily quiet, Hiroki drifted back to the arranging table. He took more flowers from the box, grabbed another vase from the shelf under the table, and opened the catalog to a new page. Determined, he set out once more to try and come up with something suitable.

As the last gaggle of giggling girls had recently left, now bored, Hara ambled over to the table. He watched Hiroki with a slight grin of amusement twisting his lips.

"Aren't you tired of that yet?" he asked in a teasing tone. This was not the first time Hiroki had returned to the table since Nowaki had left.

Hiroki raised his hazel eyes and frowned, though he remained silent. He had better things to do than waste time exchanging words with an insolent kid. He was a man on a mission, committed now to conquering the flowers.

Hara stood there arms crossed over his chest as he watched Hiroki struggle through three more failed attempts. Finally he placed his palms down on the table and leaned in.

"Why don't you just give up Kamijou-san? It's obvious you're never going to get it. Face it, some people have it and others don't and you obviously fall into the don't category."

Hiroki didn't acknowledge the taunt: this was Nowaki's workplace and he didn't want to do anything that would make it difficult for his boyfriend later. Still, his left eye had immediately developed a dangerous twitch.

If Nowaki had been there he would have been yelling at Hara to run.

Fortunately for the teenager, Nowaki chose that exact moment to return from his deliveries. He was carrying a takeout bag. More than the sack however, Hiroki was interested in the fact Nowaki was still wearing the black motorcycle helmet. It was the first thing to really distract him from his struggles since he'd started.

Nowaki undid the chinstrap, and pulled off the helmet. His thick black hair was sexily mussed. He had left off his apron for the deliveries and was standing there in his usual uniform of faded bluejeans and a tight black tee-shirt.

Blushing, Hiroki dropped his eyes. He knew exactly now what image he'd be recalling the next time Nowaki was absent and he was playing his instrument "solo" as it were.

"I stopped by Pandasan on the way and picked up some lunch for us Hiro-san," Nowaki beamed. "I got some for you too Hara-kun."

Hiroki had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping that Nowaki shouldn't be spending his hard-earned money on take out, let alone buying extra to feed ill-mannered brats.

It annoyed him sometimes that Nowaki was constantly thoughtful like that. It also bothered him that he wasn't more like this himself, but those kinds of gestures just didn't come naturally.

In truth though, he was hungry and the aromas coming from the bag were enticing. So Hiroki set his ire aside and went to join Nowaki at the counter. He promised himself he'd find some way to make it up to the giant later.

Much to Hiroki's disappointment, Hara pulled up a stool too and sat at the counter with them. Hiroki said nothing about this though and knew already Nowaki wouldn't either. It just wasn't in his boyfriend's nature to be exclusionary.

Hiroki listened to the teen begin to chatter before Hara had even sat down and was surprised at the difference in the boy's tone when he was talking to "Nowaki-senpai." Gone was the antagonistic air and blatant posturing. It was obvious that Hara admired his senpai .

Hiroki sometimes wished that he could engender this same kind of response in those around him, that was, until he remembered that would mean he would actually have to like people. So rather than this, he had learned to take pleasure in other people's response to his boyfriend.

This enjoyment however came to screeching halt at Hara's next words.

Hara had been talking with quite some animation about school. And, as Nowaki had never been to high school, he was extremely interested in what Hara had to say.

It was a topic that held no charm for Hiroki, however. His memories of it were not pleasant and mostly consisted of studying, competing, and the ever-present ache of his longing for Akihiko. (Not that, outside of the Akihiko thing, which he'd finally managed to nip in the bud when he'd met Nowaki, his life had really changed all that much).

"God, you can't believe what my Japanese teacher is making us read." Hara moaned. "We're having to spend the next two weeks reading and discussing Botchan by Soseki*. It's so dumb… what a complete waste of time Senpai."

Hara stopped his lament only long enough to take another big mouthful of take out. "I mean who cares about some stupid story about a teacher written by a guy who's been dead for almost a hundred years?"

Nowaki's eyes widened at this. He looked cautiously over at Hiroki preparing for an outburst. Even more disconcerting than the anger he expected though was Hiroki's silence.

Hara sat back a bit when he felt Hiroki's intense hazel eyes upon him.

Dropping his eyes, Hiroki said softly, "Tis the good reader that makes the good book… in every book he finds passages which seem to be confidences or sides hidden from all else and unmistakably meant for his ear; the profit of books is according to the sensibility of the reader; the profound thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until it is discovered by an equal mind and heart."**

Then he raised his gaze again. Though his body was completely still, the fire in Hiroki's dark orbs was furious.

"All art is a cry against an artist's mortality and our experience of it, a respite from our own. Tell me Hara-san, a hundred years after you're gone, what will the world have to remember you by? What rich legacy will you leave behind?"

With this Hiroki pushed himself up from back from the counter and turned away.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki said with a tone of concern.

"I'm done. I'm not hungry anymore." Hiroki moved back over to the arranging table, picking up his silk flowers once more.

Hara was stunned. He'd never heard another teenager talk that way. Obviously what he'd said about the book had upset Kamijou. Hiroki's words stuck in his mind: the way he'd wielded them, Hara had felt their power. Suddenly he felt more than a little convicted.

"What's with him?" Hara whispered.

Nowaki noted the set of Hiroki's jaw as his lover picked up yet another vase. "It's nothing personal Hara-kun," he said kindly. "Hiro-san just really likes books."

Knowing it would be best to give Hiro-san a bit of space for a bit to ensure there wasn't some kind of delayed explosion, Nowaki tried to divert Hara's attention. "So tell me again about that girl in your science class you liked."

*So I know this novel, Botchan by Natsume Soseki, is lower level than the high school that Hara is in, but when you look at the summary of its content below, you can see why Hiroki would resonate with this text as he prepares to go into teaching and with his reverence for education.

"Botchan by Natsume Soseki (1867 to 1916-Tokyo) is one of the most read of all Japanese novels. It is pretty much required reading in the later years of elementary school in Japan. Soseki is one of the first "modern" Japanese novelists. He is most famous for his I Am a Cat, Kokoro and Botchan.

Botchan is considered to be based on the author's experience as an elementary school teacher. The title character has just obtained his college degree, in physics, and has secured a good job teaching at a private elementary school. The novel is kind of a combination of a coming of age story and a morality play with different characters representing different outlooks on the rapid changes overtaking Japan in the early years of the 20th century.

Botchan himself stands for conservative traditional values of old school Japan. One of his fellow teachers represents the Bushido tradition of total loyalty to the Emperor and one at another extreme is meant to be an intellectual very influenced by the current thinking in Europe. Another teacher is seen just as a follower of any popular trend. One of the teachers is a very brooding deeply thoughtful person.

The story also uses the bad behavior of the students to symbolize the falling away of young people from traditional Confucian values of extreme respect for teachers."

SOURCE: .

* Also I know Hiroki should be quoting someone Japanese, but I'm lazy and this quote I know.

'Tis the good reader that makes the good book… in every book he finds passages which seem to be confidences or sides hidden from all else and unmistakably meant for his ear; the profit of books is according to the sensibility of the reader; the profound thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until it is discovered by an equal mind and heart.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. poet, essayist and lecturer