Disclaimer: We do not own the bitches, bling and blunts mentioned in this chapter. They all belong to their rightful rappers.

We now humbly present you with a new chapter. Review... After you read.

Google: The Plotless Tale

by Fullmetalcows

Chapter 10

"Ohhhhh yeah!"

"I have a confession," a dark haired lady sighed out loudly into the quiet, dark room. Her eyes only remained half open as she tried to hide the secret she was about to spill with her eyes. "And I feel now is the time to let the cat out of the bag."

"Muhuh... Cat?" Maury murmured, opening his eyes suddenly. He looked around before it came back to him. "Oh yeah! That cat.. Everyone, this young lady has a secret she would like to share with her boyfriend. What is it?"

"I've been cheating on my boyfriend of two days.." She mumbled out as the crowd began to boo quite loudly.

"Yes, and there is something quite weird about this situation. right?"

"... Yes."

"Well, should we call him out?"

"... Yes."

"Come on out, Havoc!"

"Edo-- I mien rassy-k00n," Fangirl number 2 yelled into the crazy delusional mans ear, "I brut u sumthin!!!!!"

Everyone stood off to the side of the room, watching the scene from afar. "Do you honestly think this was a good idea?" Roy asked, looking at Riza pointedly, "You do know that when she sees me she's just going to jump all over me and forget about her job, right?"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Riza said, trying to stifle the laughter that was racking at her ribs. "I mean, heh, you did.. heh, really let yourself, heh, go with all that honey ham."

"Ha! That's what you think, Lt. Hawkeye! I'm fit as ever, and it's all because of my SUPER DUPER ULTIMATE MUSCLE GAINING PROGRAM!" Roy yelled out, attempting to rip his shirt into shreds with his muscles, but miserably failing the familiar technique. "THE, urr, uhmm.. ALL, uh, HAM DIET! ... Jeese, the military sure does make these shirts durable.."

"Actually," Scar said, sporting his professor glasses, corn-cob pipe and white coat, "I actually used the cheapest, most earth friendly material in these new suites. By the way, what would you think about pink suites for the State Alchemists? It would.. make it easy to spot them, and kil-- recruit their help."

"HOLY MILITARY GIRLS IN MINNI SKIRTS!" Riza screamed before she could stop herself. That fangirl knew her way around a defenseless midget.

"Riza…you…you like my idea?"

"No I detest it, it just make a good shocked line, not to mention the authors willed it."

"Pfft," Roy said, "I don't want to help anyone." Obviously disappointed that Riza still didn't like his idea. He would have to trademark that sentence. With that, he glanced at a extremely pissed off delusional kid who was being kiss-attacked by a certain fangirl. "Heh," Roy said, "If I'm not mistaken, Edward has become a bit green in the face. He might be going to throw up... Excellent, everything is going according to plan."

Riza looked at him weirdly, and muttered "I bet he hasn't taken his... pills today."

-

"Okay," a black figure said, looking at the small crowd in front of him. "Itachi and Kisame have run off for some family thing.. But that's not what we're here to discuss."

"What are we here to talk about, un?" a blonde haired dude said.

"Yeah, I wanted to make baked Alaska tonight!" Pinocchio snorted, "Instead I'm here, listening to the crap your going to spill out of your stupid human ears..."

"Yeah, and I wanted to eat the baked Alaska!" Hindan said, as he struggled to hold onto his virgin sacrifice, "God forgive me."

"Yeah, and why is everyone saying yeah so much?" a orange-masked man named Tobi cried happily, "but I'm very happy to be here leader, because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Quiet your mouth Tobi," The half-plant half-man Zetsu scolded.

"We're here to talk about the evil that threatens our evil. The one true evil that makes our evil look like a stall in which someone has neglected to flush the toilet!"

The Akatsuki gasped in horror.

"How ever are we to deal with such an...SUCH A MEANIE, UN?!" Deidara said, doing the potty dance. Really, one would think he would have been to occupied with the dance to reply so dramatically, let alone reply at all.

"What are all of us doing in this story?" Asked the chick with the flower on her head. "I mean, THIS ISN'T SUPPOSE TO BE A CROSSOVER!"

"Well, it's easy enough to explain. You see, the authors are upset about the story developing a plot, so upset that the only relief they get is by developing so many plots it becomes annoying." Answered Maes', who had fallen into the Akatsuki hideout and was now a honorary member. " It's a good thing their lazy, I was suppose to fall into a hole containing Osama Binladen, then the Kool Aid guy, then Ryuk...and then credit card debt..."

"SHUTUP!" The Leader screamed, "...I'm trying to tell you about the evil to destroy all evils."

"Continue." The mumbled in unison, sometimes Leader could be such a pre-Madonna.

"Well, as I was saying, this new evil is the most vile, ugly, fat, putrid creature to ever walk the earth...she was born in the fiery pits of a quiet little unpowerful, peaceful country town. Her human name is..."

DUN DUN DUN

"Winry Rockbell!"

-

Wrath wandered down the...well, we're pretty sure your brains don't need the mental scaring of what the road was, but we hope that drives the point across, that the So short you would step on them and they wouldn't even be crushed, people had told him to follow to beg the Great Big Bad Future Winry's forgiveness, not that he would, he just assumed that the she would have taken the wedding ring and tried to force it on her great big ugly finger.

"HEY, HEY YOU!" Bellowed an old mans voice, "GET OFF MY LAWN! AND I'M NOT OLD YOU STUPID AUTHORS!"

The man was obviously Kakashi. The only reasoning for this...Scarecrow...Kakashi...yeah.

"The authors have to much spare time, I FEEL A BOND WITH THEM!" Kakashi screamed.

"Yho, want to come beat the shit of the big bad Winry with me, maybe she could occupy your time!"

"You know, if it wasn't for her banning it, I could be reading Make out paradise right now. I mean, it's not wonder I'm grumpy and sound like an old man, I need my fix like any other addict." Kakashi sobbed into Wraths chest as Wrath patted his back knowing all to well.

"I feel the same way about lawn bowling."

-

Gaara sat in Rose's closet watching her intently. What could make his beloved Sasuke –spit- go after such a…such a bimbo with big boobs! Now who would he have pull his hair and spit in his eye and call him a useless goth queer?

"You could always ask Ed," Rose said, awkwardly patting him on the back. It wasn't as if she hadn't been called a big breasted bimbo before.

"Oh please, that's like telling me not to cut my wrists because mommy would be sad…or like asking me to sleep with one of my many fangirls. I just couldn't do it!"

"Well when you put it that way…"

-

"So Lusty, why ever did you drag me to this show?" Havoc asked, looking more pissed then peachy.

"I have…a confession."

"And what would that be? WAS IT YOU WHO WAS EATING COOKIES IN THE BED? BECAUSE-" Havoc ranted, how he loathed cookies and abhorred bed crumbs.

"No..no darling… I've…. I'VE CHEATED ON YOU!" Lust screamed dramatically. "AND I…I DON'T REGRET IT EITHER!"

"WWWWHHHHAAAAATTTT?!"

"We'll be right back," said Maury as he snacked on some popcorn.

-

"And you know little bother, I've always hated that shirt. In fact, another reason I killed the whole clan was because I felt I needed to save them from the fashion police! And they would have revoked my membership to Cosmo…"

Sasuke just blinked. "Are you sure you're bisexual?"

Itachi blushed. "Are you sure you're an emo?"

"You know…sometimes I really wonder. I mean, it's probably the drugs. Stinking Orochimaru."

-

Alphonse stared blankly at the wall. He was with out a girlfriend for the first time in years. It seemed as if all the girls where either fangirls, or lesbians.

"I must do something about this…. problem. I'm going to have to see Stephen Harper!"

"Homophobe!" Someone screamed.

Meanwhile

I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, LETS HOPE I DON'T HAVE A SEXUALY TRANSMITED DISEASE!

Back to the story

-

Winry started blankly at the Idiot box… what had she done?

"LOOK WHAT I MADE, BELIEVE IT!" Naruto said smiling at his…his…Winry.

"What did you make?"

"I MADE A ROCK LEE WII ON YOUR WII!"

"Oh goodie, I think I'm going to go look at spider porn on the compuher."

"About that," Riza began to ask, "Are you finished with the new one yet?"

"Tee hee, I'm going to call it Brock lee!" Naruto giggled.

"That? It's been done for months, I think I'm in more of a monkey mood.."

"Then what is the military still doing her!"

"BOWLING ON THE WII!" Screamed a delighted Roy.

"Oh lordy, sir."

-

"Okay… So first of all, what am I doing here?" Edward (or Rasputin) asked himself as he sat up on the small bed, feeling slightly nauseous. Looking around, he saw the bedroom in jumbles. The memories returned to him rather quickly.

"Gosh, after what that weird looking blonde bimbo fangirl did to me, she could have at least left a note for me," he sighed, supporting himself with his arms, which he had to notice, where very different from each other. "Why is one of my arms metal? … SOMEONE! CALL GREGORY… Wait, I am Gregory… I can't perform a miracle on myself! The dude in the black expressly forbade it!"

"Edward?" Pinako whispered slightly, "Did you have a bad dream? You know you shouldn't scream when you have bad dreams, it's not going to solve anything. Oh, don't tell me, you wet the bed again, didn't you?"

"Edward? Who is that, old hag standing at the doorway?" Edward asked, looking at the older lady as if she was an alien.

"… Uh, you," Pinako said, creasing her brows at him. "Oh damn. You didn't wet your bed… You doing crack aren't you? Well, where is it? TELL ME BOY!"

"I am not… uh, what was the name?"

"Edward. Show me where you're hiding the crack…"

"Oh yes. I am not Edward. I am Gregory Yefimovich Rasputin, chief advisor and miracle-practitioner to the Royal Romanov family."

"Edward, this is your last warning. You show me where that crack is or I'm sending you to dry out. First alcohol… Now this! This wont bring your slipper back!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THA— I mean, what slipper?" Edward nervously asked.

"Aha! I've found it!" Pinako yelled triumphantly, "… But it's not crack. Nor does it seem that you have smoked the... ninjawana?"

"Kabuto gave it to me!" Edward shouted, "I … uh … I mean, what the hell is that?"

"How dare you question my authoritah!" Pinako yelled angrily.

"You're not my mom!"

"That's it, Edward. It's off to dry out for you!"

"No! I can't! They're going to show a special on Dr. Phil today about retrieving lost slippers!"

-

And now, a special message from Itachi…

You know, we've poked a lot of fun at the expense of some of us 2D characters about our sexual orientation. But this is a serious matter. In fact, half of the people that are implied to be gay are really asexual. And quite frankly, no 2D character likes it up the ass, especially with all the fangirls they have. Don't act innocent, they're like groupies for Bands. The only one of us who is truly a queer little bastard, not a bastard because he's queer but because he's just a bastard, is Barney. And that's because he's 3D.

Authors Note: We really don't have an excuse for not updating so long. We could give you some line about studying for exams…but you know, we didn't even study, so… but we do pass. Because, y'know, we're genii. 8D And… yeah. This isn't really our best chapter…BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, ANOTHER ONE?…Most likely. So we'll hold it hostage if you complain.

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