Summary: Or; Hunter Del Sur thinks this setting is sometimes too dark and full of terrors so let's insert some absurdity into it, because why not?
So, I tried my hand at comedy/parody/absurdity/whatever
Don't know if you'll enjoy it but I hope to at least get a single chuckle out of you guys and gals, at the very least.
And don't take anything too seriously, 'kay?
JG: Yeah, that was more towards what I was leaning forward to and I'm glad I seemed to have her IC. Generally, I don't mind having characters (in all fandoms and lots of different characters) be jealous, I have problems with how its handled more often than not and the way they behave. Sometimes in fanfics it seems like they take it waaay too far. But yeah Arya didn't doubt Jon for a second in that short.
Also I really appreciate it that you consistently review!
Where's Arya?
Myrcella was talking to him but he couldn't really hear her. Not with all the noise around him; the shuffling of feet as people moved, the mixing of of voices at they talked, shouted and whispered, clothes rustling, groups of friends being merry and just all around background noise from the festival grounds. Finally it seems she noticed he was just staring at her very pretty red lips moving without being able to really listen to her since she just huffed at him before grabbing his arm and dragging him to a more quiet place.
"You heard nothing of what I just said, huh Trystane?"
"In my defense it was really, really loud."
"I'm sure the whole 'fixating on my mouth' was also because of the noise then?"
"I was trying to lip read."
"I'm sure," she rolled her emerald eyes at him but he noticed the faint blush she had on her cheeks. He kept quiet about it though since he guessed she would just blame the heat as the cause, "I said; It's going to take a long while to find Arya in this mess of people."
"It is." He grimaced slightly before looking from their spot on the railings of the topmost platform down to the grounds below, followed by looking at the wide avenue where they had just come from. "She hasn't answered your calls?"
"Nope. I think she can't hear them or maybe her battery died."
"At this rate we'll be late to the main show and what both of you really came to this music festival for."
Her glare was answer enough but all he did was grin like his uncle Oberyn had told him to do in such situations even if her gaze did make him want to duck his head. He didn't get the reaction his uncle told him he would though, so he was left staring at her as she bit her lip and looked from her phone then to him and back again multiple times.
"Hey Trystane," the Lannister beauty began, apparently having found an answer to her internal musings, "I know of a way to-"
"Great!" Internally he winced after it sank in that he cut her off before she finished in his eagerness but he really wanted to enjoy the show with her – though more accurately he wanted to see her enjoy the show since this wasn't really his scene – and it had taken him a bit of courage to ask her out to this event, despite his Dornish and Martell roots, and then he had to share her time with her best friend who apparently got her tickets before he did, which he thought a small price to pay. Now though he was starting to regret that last line of thought.
Still; in for a penny in for a dragon so he pushed on through as confidently as he could, "If you're sure then do so."
"Are you sure?" She stared up at him through golden lashes, her hair in a long ponytail that just brushed the small of her back shined in the artificial lights and he really doubted he could deny her anything right then and there. "I'll need your help..." She trailed off uncertainly, shifting from one foot to another in her slip on shoes and those jean shorts and crimson spaghetti top that she wore so well and all he could wonder was if he could gain a kiss (even though this was the first date and the first meaningful interaction between them) before, during or after this festival if he followed the advice that had been given to him.
"No problem, Myrcella. I'll help in anyway I can."
Perhaps if the boy hadn't been so love struck he would have noticed various things; such as the hesitancy his date displayed at using such a plan even though she was the one that proposed it, the way her body language now shifted in nervousness when before she walked confidently and he hadn't mistaken such actions as his doing, as well as noticing her mind was now far away as she stared at her phone.
But alas the poor love struck fool did not.
"If you're sure..." She trailed off silently, seemingly searching his expression for any sign of doubt one last time. In return he gave her as confident a smile as he could and he cheered inside his mind when she nodded before unlocking her phone and quickly typing something quick in it.
"Here," the petite blonde thrust the phone's screen in front of his eyes without preamble, "Read this."
He blinked at the screen in confusion, not even reading the words she had written as he then leaned a bit to the side to blink at her.
"It'll work." Myrcella simply stated with unwavering confidence.
He shrugged before letting his gaze focus on the words.
Maybe she was trying to break the ice in her own way?
"Jon Targaryen is a useless, wretched, basta-"
"Hey there~" The tone was sweet, sincere and one he recognized as belonging to Myrcella's best friend (since, as far as anyone knew, forever); Arya Stark. All around athlete with a particular inclination towards fencing, as well as being filed under 'Girl Who Won't Date Absolutely Anyone' due to rejecting offers from men and women alike, including people such as both the Storm brothers on multiple occasions and his fellow Dornishman Edric and some of his cousins of age with him as well. It was rumored it was because she had Myrcella, or from how some other rumors went, it was because she already had someone(s?) outside of the academy. The exact age and sex of this supposed lover(s?) also varied wildly.
Trystane didn't know why he was having something akin to a flashback as if he was some movie protagonist that was on the brink of death, more so when instead of his life it was about academy rumors, cliques and general life. He also didn't know why he felt as if he should stay very still, subtly begin to tense his muscles for an attempt at escape, and he was also really trying to block out a place deep in his heart that said the absolute truth, that was currently whispering as if it was frightened, that he was absolutely irrevocably fucked.
He just knew that the voice came from behind him, where there was no way to access it whatsoever since it was just the railings preventing anyone from falling a considerable height down.
Slowly he turned around, making his movements as small as possible but with an instinctive urgency, until he came face to face with a similarly petite girl as his date that was Myrcella's best friend; sitting with one leg crossed over another on the railing, one hand holding up her chin while she bounced her leg in a lazy rhythm, a pearly white smile that perfectly displayed her longer than average canines and looking at him with benevolent grey eyes shadowed under a black fitted cap. Said eyes were framed by loose flowing brown hair the color of rich, healthy, earth that trailed along her back in a length similar to Myrcella's.
"You were saying some mighty interesting things just now," her eyelashes fluttered charmingly and though he was sure the Storm brothers would kill to see such a sight, Trystane just couldn't get the distracting feeling of his spine tensing until it was completely straight out of his mind right now to truly acknowledge such things, "Might you be so kind to repeat them for little old me?"
Her tone was still the sweetest he had ever heard it uttered from her mouth as she lazily drawled the words, her Northern accent spicing up its charm the same way Myrcella's Westernland accent spiced her words up. He idly noted he should feel shocked at such a tone being directed at him for whatever reason but all he felt shock at was how his throat involuntarily tightened up in fear.
Arya tilted her head to the side minutely, baring her throat while still holding that same serene smile and causing some of her hair to shift slightly on one side, letting him see the various piercings she had on one ear.
Distractedly he noticed Myrcella quickly pressing one button on her smartphone followed by another before she brought it up to her ear as she used speed-dial. He would have wondered more about that if he wasn't overcome by the overpowering urge to step back from the lazily sitting girl (how did she get there?) on the railing.
At least that was his plan until his back hit something solid after his first step.
He carefully looked over his shoulder while making sure to keep one eye trained on Arya while the other found out about what exactly he had hit-
Is that a shovel?
His brain froze, though he might have thought that Myrcella said something resembling 'Code 4', as he wondered when, how and why a shovel suddenly appeared behind him.
"Oh, that little thing?" Said Arya far too close to him. His head snapped back (when had it moved?) to see the youngest Stark daughter, smile still firmly in place as she looked up at him - though he rather felt like the opposite was true right now - with her arms coyishly crossed behind her back as she leaned forward slightly, gaze determinedly on him. "I thought you would like some help since it seems you were so determined to dig your own grav-"
Suddenly a phone was thrust to rest lightly against her ear like one would when answering a call, in what seemed like a well practiced motion if he was being honest, interrupting her words mid sentence.
He carefully moved his eyes, the only thing he could move really, upwards along the pale flesh of the arm holding said phone to see it was Myrcella's doing.
Her mouthed words of 'Stay Calm' had the opposite effect though.
Suddenly the crushing pressure he had felt in air – that he just noticed was an actual thing and not his imagination – left his shoulders. His breath came out in an explosive exhale, sound returned to him as if he was underwater before and had just now had broken the surface, and he finally realized he could move normally.
He quickly took advantage of this as he scampered back until he had the Mercifully Beautiful Goddess known as Myrcella Lannister in between her apex predator of a best friend.
Said Goddess merely raised an eyebrow in amusement while Arya ignored him entirely as she was too busy nodding along to what the person on the other side of the phone call was saying to her.
Distantly he noticed they had somehow acquired a rather considerable empty space around them from other groups of people.
"What was-" He gasped but apparently he still hadn't recovered enough to make full sentences yet.
"Arya is protective of her boy."
"Wait...does this mean the rumors are true?"
"That's what you're most curious about? Really?"
"Well, no..." If anyone asked him, he would tell them that stupid response would have been deliberate instead of his brain hiccuping due to the sheer hours that had passed-wait. No. He quickly checked his watch, it hadn't even been a minute?!
"Yeah, she has that effect on people sometimes."
His blonde Goddess' kind and sincere words hurt this time. Strangely he kind of liked it when coming from her.
Before he could try to rescue the situation with a witty comment like Uncle Oberyn always told him to do in such a situation Myrcella accepted her phone with a nod from Arya before bringing the speaker to her ear with an enthusiastic: "Hey Jon!"
Trystane shook his head out of the remaining lingering sensation of what had totally not been crushing fear.
It was just that he may be coming with some type of cold.
Yeah. That was it.
"So," the Northern accented voice spoke up again and though there was no traces present of her deathly sweet tone from before he still tensed up, "You're the one who got the courage to ask her in the middle of the hall for a date when everyone was also present..."
She trailed off and he thought it best that he keep quiet.
Arya snorted in amusement at that, "Well, at least you're harmless."
He blinked at that and would have objected at the way she said it as well as her words if she wasn't suddenly right in front of his face. Again.
"But real talk here," her accompanying smile made him realize why she and her older sister were referred to as 'Northern Princesses', "Don't ever talk bad about my boy, 'kay?"
"...Is that...what the shovel is for?" He was sure his uncle could have said it better and more confidently then him but at this moment Trystane was just glad he was able to say anything resembling witty at all right now.
Grey eyes blinked at him in amusement, "What shovel?"
"What do you mean 'what shovel?'", he quickly grasped his returning confidence to swing his arm out with a bit of flair to the side right where-
-There was an empty spot.
"..."
"Something wrong, loverboy?" The Stark daughter drawled from where she was now leaning against his Godde – No, wait - he meant Myrcella, with one arm slung across her lower back as she continued talking with the stranger.
He turned left, then right. Up, down, peered over the railing, focused his gaze at the patches of grass some distance away…
...Nothing...
He blinked.
She smirked.
Who exactly was this crazy bit-
A phone was suddenly thrust into his face, letting him see the contact saved (and favored) in bold white letters identified as "Jon Targaryen" with the nickname at the bottom in smaller but still bold text as "Arya's Husband".
"Jon wants to talk to you." The Lannister beauty simply said when he blinked (he really should stop doing that, he wasn't a reptile after all) at her.
Hesitantly, and with an unconscious looks towards Arya that he absolutely wouldn't acknowledge he actually did (nor that he accepted her nod of approval), he took the phone from her hands (and he didn't give in to the temptation to brush fingers with his date. Arya's glare had nothing to do with it, shut up) and brought it up to his ear.
"Hello-"
"Boi, you best be careful with those words towards my waifu." The rough yet smooth and definitely older voice with a strange mix of accents interrupted him without hesitation.
"I didn't-"
"Speak?" He sounded supremely amused as he said that simple word.
Trystane meanwhile felt dread rise all over again at those implications. His next words just hastened the process at which it reached his brain and helped fan it.
"I know."
He stood numbly and didn't even hesitate or question why when the guy on the other end of the phone told him to put him on speaker.
"Turn around."
He did with a burst of panic all while thinking: Oh Gods not again-
...To find nothing there.
Before he could redden in embarrassment at falling for such a simple ploy his attention was grabbed when Arya let out an absolutely joyous cry.
"Jon!" He turned in time to see Arya freaking Stark running like some movie damsel towards some tall, dark haired, dark eyed older guy wearing a combination of red, white and black before she actually jumped into his arms, even going so far as to wrap her legs around him, as he spun her around a bit to bleed off the momentum.
"You made it!" She giggled against his forehead before unashamedly kissing him fully on the mouth as her hands framed his face.
"So..." Myrcella spoke up from some ways near him as he struggled with his world view being shattered once more as he turned towards her, "As you've no doubt inferred that's Jon, Arya's beau."
"And you must be Trystane." The same voice from the phone spoke up and he turned, again to see that both of them were done with their little reunion and instead were heading towards him. He also noticed Arya's arm was around him and her hand was casually tucked under his shirt and slightly beneath the waist of his pants while he just had his arm around her with one of his thumbs tucked through the loops of her shorts.
He was kinda impressed how they walked so easily like that.
"Hey 'Cella." He greeted her casually and judging by everything that had happened recently it was safe to say they all knew each other very well. "As beautiful as ever."
Myrcella giggled and easily gave him a warm hug followed by a peck on his cheek despite Arya never letting go for a second. "Hey yourself Jon. Glad you could make it, Arya here wouldn't shut up about it ever since we had an extra ticket."
"So..." Jon began, ignoring the way Arya playfully swatted Myrcella, "You're the one who's trying to become 'Cella's beau."
In Trystane's defense, he would argue that he was just about to make a very compelling argument to impress these two friends of her and take back his past ten minutes of fumbling around with a proper, confident, Dornish response…
Unfortunately those two beat him to the punch.
"So listen up Trystane!" Arya began as she thrust her finger from her free hand near his face.
So this is the rumored best friends talk that Arianne was telling me about.
Yet it was Jon that continued, "Myrcella here is a very good friend of ours."
The killing intent that had been leveled against him before was also tripled but that was a vague acknowledgment at best from the young Martell as he now faced two apex predators.
"So if you do absolutely anything to hurt her or even cause her to shed a single tear-" Arya easily picked off from where he broke off pulling Myrcella into her free arm in a hug.
"Trust us. You'll regret it, m'kay?" They finished in eerie synchronization with matching wolfish grins while said girl they were talking about protecting faced the side with red cheeks.
Stupidly
Confidently - definitely confidently - he nodded back and the way he lingered behind as they easily spun around while still intertwined between them had nothing to do with his brain rebooting itself.
Taking a deep breath he focused on the back of Myrcella's crimson top, idly noticing she was now between Arya and Jon with each of her arms looped through both of theirs as they walked, as he gave himself a quick mental pep talk. He had been warned that sometimes his potential interest would have some difficult obstacles to overcome in the form of other people, and he had gotten multiple advice as how to deal with said obstacles.
With thoughts like those perking himself up and running constantly through his brain Trystane let his eyes start to wander a bit further South then his date's back-
Only to stop when he saw two different sized hands resting on her lower back.
Myrcella continued walking and looking around the festival grounds as if it wasn't a strange sensation while instead he met the two pairs of grey eyes that were staring at him intently.
Keeping their heads turned towards him without looking ahead of them even once as they continued to walk confidently forward while avoiding various people with an easy grace, Jon and Arya raised their free hands up to their faces to point at their eyes with two fingers, followed by pointing said fingers towards his eyes and finally making an upwards motion.
They then felt the need to add a gouging motion, for good measure.
His gaze automatically snapped back directly forward, only just barely seeing as their arms spread to engulf his date between them and to rest on each others waist.
...What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Tutorial
"What the?" A blonde and redhead unknowingly echoed each other despite a vast distance separating them.
The reason being that they had found rather identical, huge gift basket in front of the door of their respective house when they had opened it. If that wasn't weird enough it was an expensive gift basket filled with; beautifully fresh fruit, expensive and quality ale, wine and chocolate, as well as shiny trinkets and what looked like a rather nicely crafted outdoors knife.
When they got over their confusion enough at the sight of said basket each woman noticed a white envelope with a grey bow decorating it that was attached to the sides of their respective baskets.
Opening up said envelope they found a white letter bordered with grey and with elegantly handwritten words in what they could tell were in various languages.
Skimming until they found one they could understand they began to read to see if it would shed some light on the origins of the basket.
Thanks to your (initial) tutelage I had a great first time so I got you some gifts!
Hope you enjoy!
Arya Stark
P.S: You can't have repeat performances. That ship has long sailed and is not coming back.
P.S.S: Seriously, don't try anything. It'll be useless.
P.S.S.S: He's mine now. My Wolf.
When they finished reading the short letter all Val/Ygritte could do was blink.
Home Alone: Jon's side
I'm kinda in the mood for Chinese Food.
Daeron Targaryen distractedly thought as he took a break from reading the scattered books along his table on one side and online articles on his laptop on the other side that he was using to help for his Master's Thesis.
He stretched his arms in the air, letting out a sigh as he felt his spine pop and his elbows straighten.
Suddenly, his phone started ringing making him jump at the unexpected noise after several hours of silence in his empty home. He debated ignoring it but that was until he saw who the caller was and he proceeded to pick it up without further hesitation.
"Hey Arya. What's up?"
"Hey Daeron, just checking to see if you're still alive or if your head imploded from stress and information overload."
He let out a warm chuckle at that, "Don't worry love, I'm fine. I was just about to get some food since it's time for a break."
"So – Wait, hold up," he figured she placed her hand on the mouthpiece of the phone but even though it was slightly muffled Daeron was still able to make out the shouted cry of 'Sansa I'm on the phone! Bother me later!', "Yeah, sorry about that babe. My sister was pestering me right now."
"She's home with you for once?"
"Yeah and as always she's being super annoying. Anyways don't try to distract me; how long did you go for this time?"
He paused as he glanced at the clock. "About seven hours straight."
He never could lie to her. Then again neither she could to him.
"Old Gods and New... Seriously Daeron? Your determination never ceases to amaze me. Well that and worry me too."
"I told you I'm fine." He had to roll his eyes at that even though she couldn't see it, it's not like he was going past his limits, "I just really need to finish this thing."
"I seriously don't know how you do it." Her voice was filled with amusement and it helped distract him from his hunger.
"Do what? Concentrate?"
"Yeah. Especially with all those family member in your house. I mean it's big but even so the voices still carry and they're always close by. Not to mention you're siblings always seemed to be close doing their own, distracting, thing."
"There's no one here though." Daeron commented as he perused an old menu from his favorite place.
"...What?"
"Everyone left for a trip." He paused in his perusal of the menu, "Wait, did I forget to tell you? Sorry Arya, I've been really distracted recently-"
Someone knocked on his door.
He blinked.
There was a knock again. At his bedroom door, which was in the second story of his house, when he was supposed to be alone for at least three days.
"Hold on Love, looks like someone forgot something."
Daeron opened the door to tease what was probably his eldest sister forgetting to tell him something, again, or his older brother leaving something in his room, again-
To find Arya Stark, still active phone in one hand and Chinese takeout in the other, wearing some very flattering pants and a grey tank top with her hair done up in two charmingly messy twin buns, smirking up at him from the other side of his room's door despite that she lived on the other side of the city.
Dramatically, she pressed the end call button.
"Room service?"
Home Alone: Arya's side
"I'm home!"
Silence met her greeting and Arya paused three steps into the manor before frowning in confusion.
"Hello?"
Instead of going straight up the steps up into her room as was usual when she just returned form college she instead made her way into the kitchen where notes were traditionally written and posted to inform anyone of any last minute occurrences, especially when say; someone's battery died and their idiot friends 'misplaced' (read: lost) your charger.
True to form there were lots of little pieces of paper varying in color, size, material, and format upon The Wall, as it was referred to. Almost like they were missives crying for help.
...Mom and Dad needed to go to the Vale due to issues with aunt Lysa...Robb needed to bail Theon out of trouble, again...Sansa needed to help Jeyne out...Rickon was taken with her parents and Bran went off to his little 'training camp'…
All in all she would be alone for 2-3 days before anyone showed.
She would have smiled at that if not for one minor detail…
Daeron is currently in the next city over for the next few days. Just when this happens.
Fan-fucking-tastic. Story of her life, right there.
She sighed and in the empty Winterfell Manor it seemed to echo more than it normally would.
Might as well share the misery and tease him. Then consolation pizza.
Putting thought to action she grabbed the home phone and dialed Daeron's number from memory without even looking at the number pad as she rummaged around for old pizza menus from the various places they had ordered from before.
"...Hello?"
His voice was charmingly confused and it made her smile unconsciously.
Leave it to Daeron to make her feel like such a movie-like teenage girl.
"Hey Love, it's me."
"Arya? Hey!" She could practically see his smile form on his face and it made her own grow, "Something wrong with your phone?"
"Battery's dead, stupid friends lost my charger when I lent it to them. Gonna use my spare one in a minute."
"You left your spare at my place."
She paused at that to recollect her memories for a moment before letting out a curse when she recalled he was right.
He let out a chuckle at that.
"Quiet you. I guess I'll just borrow Sansa's for a while."
"She won't like that, I take it."
"Eh, she's not here to bitch about it and won't be for a while."
"Oh? She -wait, sorry Arya give me a moment."
"Sure, no problem Love." Saying so she focused a bit more on the various menus before her, narrowing them down to her favorite choices before she actually picked which kind of pizzas to order, while Daeron had his muffled conversation on the other end.
"Yeah, sorry about that. You just caught me at the end of the meeting so there's a bunch of people wanting a private chat or something else. So you were saying that Sansa left for a while?"
"Yeeeeep." She made sure to drag out the word teasingly before emphasizing the last letter with a pop, this would be fun, "Actually they all are. I'm here alone for the next oh… three to two days?"
His silence made her chuckle out loud and she made sure to make it throaty just to get to him even more.
"Wait..." He said and the sound of his voice at that moment made her smile for its tone and upset that he wasn't here with her so she could feel it rumble against her ear, "So you're telling me..."
"That I'm home alone for the next two days, minimum, and you're off in another city during that time frame putting that degree to good use all while taking care of Ghost and Nymeria? Yeeeees Dear."
His answering growl made her blood thrum momentarily and she decided that one of the pizzas was going to be a Dornish specialty because she needed something spicy right now, just because.
"...Give me three minutes."
She blinked at his sudden monotone then and raised an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it, "Ok…?"
The sound from his end was muffled once again and Arya decided to put away the menus she wouldn't be using.
Then the doorbell rang.
She blinked in confusion before grabbing a cordless and ending the call on the other phone.
"Hold up Love, someone's at the door." She warned him as a precaution just in case he was still listening.
Then her mouth dropped open when she saw Daeron casually leaning against the door with a very familiar bag in one hand.
"I know." He cheekily responded before he straightened up and Gods did he look good in a suit.
"How are you…?" She trailed off and really what could she say to this? Unconsciously they both ended the call.
"I postponed it for say...two to three, though possibly more, days. No big deal." He shrugged as if he wasn't just in another city kilometers away from her home. Before she could get in another word in he put his hand inside the bag, her bag or rather their bag, before pulling out a whip and gag with one hand.
He raised an eyebrow meaningfully.
She gulped and moved her tongue inside her suddenly dry mouth.
"I was just about to order pizza." She settled for instead.
He smirked at her and she wanted his dark hair in her hands right now.
"I've got it handled. One Northern and Dornish specialty each, one Tyrell's Delight and one Braavosi Sea right?"
Mutely, she nodded.
His smile shifted then, only just keeping itself this side of wild and her own howling blood rose in response.
"So..." He trailed off casually, leadingly, meaningfully, sly stupid sexy boy of hers that he was before shaking his occupied hand pointedly, "You or me?"
Bonus: Wolve's Tale
The cashier at Hightower's High Pizzeria stared with no small amount of fear and confusion as the two massive Direwolves stared at him across the counter straight in the eye with their eerily colored and almost glowing pairs of red and gold eyes.
The grey furred one suddenly let out a growl, causing him to jump back in the air and had him clutch a pizza tray in front of his chest for some semblance of protection against those massive fangs. Silently the white furred one nipped at the other's neck causing the grey one to cease its growling to instead stare at its counterpart for a few seconds before letting out a huff and turning its head away.
The red eyed Direwolf stood straight again, ignoring its partner's impatience and petulant behavior before raising one massive paw and letting it come down onto the counter.
The employee closed his eyes as he flinched, he was sure that the beast would now vault over the counter and rip his skin open, so he would rather not have that sight be his last memory.
...Except nothing happened...
So cautiously, curiously, he opened his eyes again to see if they had left just as silently as they had arrived.
He was proven incorrect immediately as he took in the sight in front of him once he opened his eyes fully. The Direwolves were still there, staring at him from behind the counter. The only change was that one massive white paw was right on top of the menu.
He blinked
...Wait...are they…?
He was more confused then he had ever been in his life before, and he would use said justification for when he was henceforth asked why he had taken his eyes away from the two massive predators before him to look at his colleagues all peeking out from behind shelves and wearing makeshift armor.
He received various shrugs and blinks at that when they all realized he wasn't being mauled to death and they would then have to decide whether to help him or flee.
Turning back to the still patiently straight back white wolf and the similarly posed but more impatient looking grey wolf he slowly worked the words from his mouth.
"Do you...wish...to order?"
He received a stoic nod from the white one and a huff (he could have also sworn it rolled its eyes) and a nod by the grey one.
He blinked again before turning back to his coworkers in the back to blink twice at them.
A growl rose again causing him to snap his head back towards the wolves. They still hadn't moved but he noticed the white one did nothing to rein in the grey one this time.
"...What...would you like to order?"
The paw moved to hover over the names precisely, despite its massive size, then moved towards the extra ingredients, then crust variations before finally settling in the size category.
"So," began the cashier as he decided to accept this absurdity for the time being for the sake of his continued sanity and keeping his skin in one piece by keeping stupidly huge fangs faaaaar away from it, "You would like all of them to be large, one Dornish specialty with the 'Three Deserts Crust', one Northern specialty with extra cheese and normal crust, one regular Braavosi Sea and one Tyrell's Delight with extra everything and 'Greenhouse Crust'."
He paused for a moment before following establishment policy and seeking confirmation, "Is that your order?"
Both wolves nodded.
He rattled off the amount for said pizzas and told them it would be thirty minutes, getting another nod from both of them before they calmly walked from behind the counter to one far off corner where they proceeded to lay themselves in.
Mechanically he gave the order slip to the his colleague so she could start the cooking process, which she thankfully did after a second of hesitation.
He didn't want to know what an unsatisfied unimpressed Direwolf looked and behaved like.
No one else came in for the next thirty minutes, not much of a surprise due to two of the extremely large and rare beasts that were currently in the establishment. Not even a heavily armed and armored pet control squad came in like he was expecting.
When four timers dinged and four different boxes were woodenly given to him he found himself face to face with the wolves again.
Silently he placed it before them and equally silently they nudged the boxes open to take several big whiffs of it and pointedly stare at the food before looking at each other and seeming to nod in satisfaction.
He noticed that while they had been able to open the lid with their snouts they wouldn't be able to close it properly, so he reached out to once again close the lid and secure it with it's little cardboard mechanism.
The grey one then placed the correct amount of cash onto the counter before opening its giant, sharp, fang filled snout, and clamping two boxes at a time in one corner in its mouth.
The white one did the same to the remaining two boxes but not before it deposited two individual piles of bills that he took from a little (compared to its size, though it was practically a backpack) bag that was previously hidden underneath its thick fur. Looking back on the situation he would notice that the grey one had also done the same before it gave him the correct amount for the pizzas.
Once the bell let out a jingle as both wolves crossed the door to the outside, he slumped towards the counter as he let out a giant sigh of relief. Something which was echoed by all the workers there.
Huh…
He blinked for what felt like the fifth hundred time that day as his brain registered the other two piles of currency he still hadn't picked up.
They left a twenty percent tip for me and the baker.
Extra: Author's Omake
The camera stops to gaze upon a picturesque clearing, filled with healthy green plants and various beautiful flowers that decorated the surroundings after panning through a vast forest of green in the opening shot. A mid sized lake of crystal blue water complete with a waterfall to one side was behind the lone contemplating figure present.
Hunter Del Sur stood in the stereotypical Shakespearean pose, prop skull included in his raised hand, as he continued with the theatrics by bringing one hand upon his heart dramatically.
"To ship Jon and Arya or not to ship Jon and Arya; that is the true qu-"
He paused before throwing the prop skull away in disgust.
"Wait, no. What kind of stupid question is that? Of course you should. -
(We interrupt this monologue to bring you this special message: Well of course I'm going to give you my completely biased opinion on this, I mean, I made no secret who I like as a pairing (and/or platonic relationship) and what this story's goal is; Bring more Jon/Arya into the (written fanfic) world.)
-I mean really; have you seen the subtext? And lot's of other points but since you're reading this you might have thought something similar and/or have some thoughts about it."
Hunter calmly walked over to a specifically designed (read: cut) rock to sit himself on while he continued speaking all the while, "Plus, ya know that's the whole purpose of this story (stories) so you must have had some interest in the pairing right? Or just let your curiosity get hold of you enough to read about it."
Hunter rolled one of his wrists as he got into a comfortable slouch from his sitting position, "Well that is if you even made it this far, for all I know you just checked the first chapter and then decided to continue or drop." He shrugged at that, "Or just clicked on a random chapter, and continued for some chapters more before dropping it."
Suddenly his hand snapped out, little whip sound effect included, as he pointed dramatically towards the reader "Or ya'll just here for the OT3's!"
Finished with his little modified Pheonix Wright impression Hunter shrugged once again.
"Speaking of; yes there will be more. Just need to see who to use as a third for a scenario. I mean; I have one planned but that's a surprise, need to see who to use after. I'm thinking of possible pairings for synergy."
Suddenly he jumped up from his perch to stand with his arms on his hips," But! That's neither here nor there! We were supposed to be pondering deep questions!"
Saying so he once more took a seat on the rock, only this time Hunter assumed the classical thinking man's pose with one hand on his forehead.
Minutes passed as Hunter painstakingly thought of the secrets of the deep Jon/Arya sea that the J/A ships sailed upon.
"Hmmm…"
"...Wait! I got it!"
He clapped his hands once in triumph before turning back towards the readers, one hand back on his hip in a closed fist while the other cupped his chin to show his seriousness, "Do we all sail on multiple Jon/Arya ships of our own in this vast sea of shipping or are we all on this huge wide singular ship? Do we dock up to each other to become this transformer-esque fleet and freely come and go from one ship to another? Or do we communicate with each other in other ways? Both?"
Hunter nodded at such sagely thoughts before continuing, "And if we're all in this singular ship did we ever/would we ever decide on decoration? And by that I mean wallpaper, floor tiles, kitchen appliances, furniture and stuff since I imagine that we would pretty much agree that we'll have Jon/Arya artwork, edits and graphical representations hanging all over said ship along with having a vast library full of Jon/Arya metas and fics in digital and physical form. Also to possibly use said library to debate, think and talk about said ship and anything related to the OTP."
He raised one hand palm up, before a little holographic ship appeared, "Do we navigate by sail? By steam? By futuristic propulsion systems? And perhaps the most important question of all..."
Hunter paused dramatically.
"...How do multishippers manage in such a scenario?"
Truly this world has many important questions seeking answers.
I wonder how many of you read these notes anyways?
Tenth chapter get! Now all that's needed is a hypothetical 90 more.
I wonder if I can manage it.
Thoughts would be appreciated for this or any chapter really.
So, anyways, I just said; screw it let's inject some wackiness
1- I could totally imagine Arya drop kicking someone(s) (though she didn't get to such a stage here, barely) for Jon and if the show had Jon choke slamming someone against the wall for Sansa of all people then for Arya? Hoo boy...
Fight On Trystane! You can pass this, unexpected and totally your fault you hormonal boy, test!
Also this chapter was partially inspired by Horcruxs edits on Tumblr, *Checks for link*, now apparently Ghostyjily! Also known as Sapphire_Blue on AO3. Check out all her stuff. Go on, do it.
(Well honestly you most likely know about her more then me)
What was inspired by this: Arya being BFF with Myrcella, she and Jon giving 'shovel talks' to various people, the 'Arya's Husband' bit and some more. Seriously check out those edits, they're fun!
Add: /tagged/texts-from-westeros at end of the URL after her Tumblr profile URL and you should find it! If not then search for them through her tags, you'll most likely enjoy your journey!
And yes I asked permission and got it.
2- I have no idea where this came from. I was thinking ASOIAF then Videogames at the same time and well Ygritte and Val are kinda like the tutorial for Jon. Arya appreciated their efforts but the tutorial mission is not repeatable.
3/4 -My spin on "Hey babe, I'm home alone". They would totally do it too. Somehow.
These two (could) have some serious thirst for each other. It is known.
Anyways the three minutes were for; 1 to exit the city he was in and come back to where he and Arya usually are, 1 to drop of the wolves at the Pizzeria with instructions, 1 to go back home, add some cologne, get the bag and make it to the door. Not bad right?
5- Hey when you've got intelligent pets...
6- What? Did you expect I would say anything contrary to the OTP? Really? This is a Jon/Arya story. Plus still trying to let absurdity in this chapter. A breather is nice once in a while.