Light up the sky
Felicity is upset. No, wait, scratch that. She is angry, seething, really. She has every right to be pissed at me. If angry kept her alive, then I will take her wrath any day. Truthfully, the site of seeing her laying there, bloody and helpless on our med table,will haunt my dreams for many years to come. Knowing that it was my fault, well that was just the icing on the cake.
The new "Count Vertigo" was in town, and he targeted her. It was his plot for revenge to get back at me for killing his son, for Felicity. He chose our first, and thanks to him, only date to do it.
I let my guard down, for only a short time, thinking it was safe. I thought that maybe for once, I could enjoy my life. That I could have that life with the woman whom I love more than anything in the world. Oh how wrong I was.
Our date was going perfectly. I didn't think that I would ever smile like this again. But that's my girl. She has a way of making me smile, and making me open up about things, that I never thought I would again. I told her about some of the missing years from my time I was gone. I told her about Hong Kong. Not every detail mind you, but enough for her to understand. And just as I knew she would, she looked at me with awe in her eyes. Not pity. Not sympathy. Just awe. She is like that, my Felicity. When she looks at me, she doesn't see the darkness. She knows it's there, but still chooses to look past it and see all the goodness left in me. I don't think that she realizes, that she IS the goodness left in me. She is the reason I continue to fight.
Then it all got blown to hell, literally. The count left just acalling card, along with a bomb at the restaurant we chose to go to that night. And that, is when my world came to an end. I knew, as I stood there looking over her on that table so vulnerable, that this could never be between us. I let my guard down. I trusted the universe to give me one night. One night as Oliver Queen, not as the arrow, not as a broken man, but as a man who is trying to rebuild my life with the woman that I love.
It has been two weeks since that fateful day. Two weeks of silent treatment and angry eyes from her. I can't blame her for being angry with me, It isn't her fault. She always told me that it is her life, her choice, and I went and made that choice for her again. I told her we could not be together. I told her everything. How much I love her, that if I lost her my whole world would come crashing down, that she is the most important person in my life. But none of that matters, because we could never be together. It is too dangerous for her and I can't risk losing her. I would rather have her in my life as my friend, than not have her at all.
Which leads me to now. The whole team was spending the day at Digg's house. Digg was cooking out on the grill, while I stood speaking with him and Roy each drinking a beer. Laurel, Sara, Lyla, and Felicity were all sitting at an old picnic table, not far from us, talking and laughing. The four girls fell into an easy sort of friendship. While I am happy about it, it also makes me sort of nervous. It has not escaped my attention, that these are four very strong women. And all of them united, to take Felicity's side. Laurel and Sara are randomly sending me angry glares. I am no fool, and neither are Digg and Roy. We know what they are discussing. Digg looks at me, and for the first time, speaks up about it, breaking the uneasy tension.
"Man look, I know why you said what you did to her. I get it. You are trying to protect her. I would give my life for that girl, she is the heart and soul of our team. Let me ask you something though."
I look at him with trepidation.
"If someone breaks into her place, randomly, in the middle of the night, where will you be? Will you be able to get to her on time? What happens if she gets in her car, after leaving here, and some idiot runs a red light? Life is short Oliver. Anything could happen. All I'm saying is that, when that time comes, and it will Oliver, we are not immortal, what will be your biggest regret? Just think on that."
"He's right. Giving up Thea was the biggest mistake I made. After everything, I would give all of it up, just to hold her and kiss her one more time." Roy spoke up.
I knew they were right. Still I couldn't bring myself to put a target on her again.
"I love her. More than I ever thought was possible to love another person. She is everything that is good and right with this world. I can't be selfish and take that from the world by painting a big bullseye on her back." I say with a resigned sigh.
"Her life, her choice man. That woman loves you even when the whole world turns it's back on you. She knows the risks, knows the dangers, and still she CHOOSES to stand by your side. Even when you are being too damn stubborn for your own good." Digg says, always the voice of reason.
"You have no right to take that choice from her, like I did with Thea." Roy speaks up.
Before I can respond, Lyla pipes up from at the picnic table.
"John did you know Felicity can sing? Man she's amazing! Why haven't you told me?"
Chuckling, Digg replies "I have only heard her a few times, but yeah, she's amazing." He looks directly at Felicity when he says this.
"No way Blondie? You can sing?" Roy shouts out as he walks towards their table.
"I was raised in Vegas Roy, you learn a few tricks." She says with a bright smile on her face.
At this point my curiosity is peaked. What can't this woman do?
"Sing that song that you just showed us the lyrics to! It's awesome!" Laurel says to her with excitement on her features.
"What? Now? Here?" Felicity asks.
"Please?" Laurel asks her.
Digg and myself head over to join Roy and the rest of the gang with a plate of burger patties that were just taken from the grill.
Felicity is sitting at the table with this white flower print sundress on with her hair up in a ponytail and her glasses on. She is barefoot, choosing to forgo her sandals to wiggle her toes in the grass. She turns to her laptop, sitting on the table opened in front of her, and seems to be lost in concentration. music starts ringing out from her computer. She has never looked more beautiful to me. Then suddenly, it is as if the heavens just opened up and released an angel, as her strong, beautiful voice rings clear.
"We are the stars up in the sky, We light the darkness you and I,We are the flicker in the night,Never shined so bright.
We are the strong and though we fall, We fought for love, we risked it all, Never backed down against the walls, It's what we're living for yeah."
As the lyrics flowed from her beautiful lips to my ears, the words resonated with me. she looked directly into my eyes as she continued to sing, as though this was a message for me alone.
"Keep on rising higher, blazing through the fire, right down to the wire, won't stop fighting harder, as we stand together, chase our dreams forever, forever, forever, forever"
I am awestruck. Just when I think she can't be anymore angelic, her voice rises to a strong determined note as she stands and takes a step towards me, singing out the chorus.
"Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the sky.
Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the skies"
Her voice is so strong and so powerful, it makes me take a stumbling step back, as she takes another step towards me. The anger is still flaring in her blue orbs, but there is determination there as well. She's not giving up on this, on us, yet. I don't deserve her.
"Although the road ahead was long, I was too weak to carry on, you picked me up, you were my home, I never stood alone.
No one can tell us what we want, no one can stop us anymore, no looking back we're moving forward, no one can take this moment away."
As she approaches me, she really emphasizes that last verse with her voice. I am beginning to see that she is trying to tell me that I am not the only person who has saved the other. She needs me just as much. Yet she's willing and ready to fight for us. Damn this woman is crumbling my walls with the tone of her voice and she knows it.
"Keep on rising higher, blazing through the fire, right down to the wire, won't stop fighting harder, as we stand together, chase our dreams forever, forever, forever, forever.
Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the sky.
Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the skies."
She stops inches from me. I can feel her breath on my face as she gingerly cradles my cheek with her palm. A gesture that I am usually doing to her. Her eyes are showing tenderness and love now. They hold a promise in them as she softly sings the next lyrics to me. It's as if no one else is there but us.
"When skies are grey, I'll light your way, I'll be your shoulder, you can lean on me.
When skies are grey, I'll light your way, I'll be your shoulder, you can lean on me."
Then she takes a step back and grabs my hand. Squeezing it as though it were her lifeline, and that fierce determination is back in her eyes, as her voice rises again.
"Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the sky.
Now we have wings we can fly, we can be kings you and I, wipe away the tears from our eyes, we light up the sky."
Her voice softens up again as she has a single tear fall from her cheek. I see now how much she is hurting, because of me.
"We light up the sky, light up the sky, we light up the sky, we light up the sky."
I reach out and gently wipe the tears from her cheek with my thumb. She tilts her face into my hand and lets out a deep sigh.
"Felicity" I quietly whisper her name like a prayer.
"If I am your hero, then you are my kryptonite. Don't you see that? You are the only good thing in my life. What if I screw this up? I am not good at relationships. If I screwed up, and lost you for good, I don't know how I could live with myself."
"Oliver, while I may be your kryptonite, I can also be your strength. You once told me, that love is the most powerful emotion. Well, I believe that not only is that true, but power can tip the scales on either side. It can make you stronger. It can give you something to fight for, and just in case you haven't noticed yet, I'm not going anywhere. Even though my heart is breaking right now, I won't leave you. And as long as you promise to talk to me, when things get rough, or when something is bothering you, then I believe that we can work through anything. Even if you don't talk to me, talk to Digg or Roy, or even Laurel or Sarah. I won't give up on you. I also won't wait forever for you. So you have to decide right now, if you can handle it, when you see me with someone else. And don't tell me that you just want me to be happy. Because that does not mean it is not going to make you completely miserable. And then all that we have been through, for you to get to this point, will have been for naught." She finishes up and lightly reaches up to kiss my cheek.
As she turns to walk away, I notice that it is just she and I out here. The others must have quietly slipped out to give us this moment. I look up at the sky and notice that the sun is beginning to set. There's irony in that. As I am watching my world walk away, the very world that I live in continues on. As though it doesn't care that I'm shattering. Suddenly it hits me like a swift blow to the chest. I can't do this. It may make me a selfish bastard, but I can't watch her in someone else's arms. I can't keep acting every day as though I don't want to grab her and kiss her senseless. Then with a determined stride, that's exactly what I do.
I catch up to her in two quick strides, grab her arm and spin her around to face me. I crash my lips on hers as though I am a man dying of thirst, and she is my oasis. It takes her a second to respond, but when she does, she let's out a breathy moan into my mouth, and it is my undoing. I'll be damned if it's not the sexiest thing I have ever heard. It makes me wonder about all of the other sounds she will make as I worship her. And I will do just that. My mind is made up now, for better or worse.
Our mouths move together in perfect rhythm. My arm holding her arm, snakes around her waist to pull her flush to me. My other hand reaches into her hair and pulls those beautiful golden strands from their confines to run my fingers through it. As my hand tangles in her hair, I use the leverage to bring her even closer to me. My tongue dances with hers and explores every inch of her beautiful mouth.
Suddenly she's pushing on my chest, pulling back to look at me. I can barely concentrate on what she is saying as I look at her kiss swollen lips and disheveled hair. God she is beautiful.
"Oliver don't! Not unless you are all in. My heart can't take that again! I need to know that there will be no more running, no more changing your mind when the next big bad decides to use me against you. I need to know that you love me enough to fight with me, not against me." Felicity says to me suddenly. I notice that she is very close to her "loud voice" and I can't help the smirk that plays on my lips.
"I'm all in. I can't live with never knowing what it feels like to have lazy Sunday mornings in bed with you. To watch your eyes light up when you come home to a new episode of whatever your favorite show is that week. To see that beautiful blush overtake you the first time I make love to you. And I will make love to you Felicity." I notice the deep crimson that covers her face at those words, and the goosebumps trailing her delicate skin where my hand touches it. Knowing I have this effect on her, gives me the push I need to continue.
"You are right. I can't continue to push you away. It is your life and your choice. I can't promise that I won't be even more of an overprotective, overbearing, possessive jackass, I can't promise that it will be perfect. More times than not, I will piss you off. I will screw up Felicity. But I can promise you, right here, right now, that you are it for me. There is no me without you. You are everything. So please would you give this shell of a man another chance that he doesn't deserve?" There it is. I have just laid my soul bare to this woman. It is in her hands to decide what to do with it now.
"Silly man. There was never any choice to make." She says to me with a sly smile. Clever woman throwing my own words right back at me. Then she surprises me by wrapping her arms around my neck and jumping up. I easily catch her tiny frame as she wraps her legs around my waist.
"Mr. Queen, I think you made me a promise earlier that I would very much like for you to fulfill right now." She says cheekily with desire evident in her beautiful eyes.
"Oh? So do you want to go back to your place and crank up your DVR?" I asked her, feigning seriousness. I know exactly which promise she is referring to.
"Hmm. I never pegged you for a man who has to have the TV on while making love, but whatever floats your boat." She says to me with that sly grin in place. I can't help the growl that escapes my throat at the thought of what was to come. I reach up and kiss her until both of us have to come up for air.
"You are going to be the death of me Felicity Smoak, but damned if it won't be worth it. Let's get out of here. Now." I tell her. The effect she is having on my body right now will become embarrassingly obvious very shortly. I start walking both of us to her car as she is still wrapped around me.
"Oliver wait!" I stop suddenly, wondering what is wrong. All of my senses on high alert now.
"Don't forget my baby!" She points to her computer. I can't help the rumbling laughter that escapes.
"Yes milady" I respond as I walk us back to grab her precious laptop.
6 months later
As we lay in bed wrapped up in each other, on this lazy Sunday morning, I can't help but to think of that day. The day that I opened my life and heart to this amazing woman lying here in my arms right now. I can feel her stir and know that she is waking up. She lifts her sleep filled eyes and looks up at me. I can't help the kiss I place on her forehead. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen first thing in the morning.
"Good morning" she says sleepily to me.
"Good morning" I whisper back. Damn I'm a lucky man.
"I am beginning to get very fond of these lazy Sunday mornings Mr. Queen"
"Hmm that's good. Because I plan on spending every Sunday morning like this for the rest of my life."
"Is that a promise?" She asks me with a smile.
"Felicity, with everything else happening in our lives every single day, this. This moment right here, It brings me back to earth. It grounds me. It makes me realize that I am simply just a man, in love with a woman, who he would very much like to spend the rest of his life with." I tell her. I can tell by the way she looks at me, that she's not catching what I am trying to say to her. So I reach over into the nightstand drawer and grab something.
"You know, it really is creepy when you talk about yourself in the third person right?" She says to me laughing.
"Then how's this? Felicity Smoak" I begin to say as I roll over placing her underneath me. " you are the love of my life. my everything. I don't deserve you, but I want to spend the rest of my life trying to, if you will give me the chance. Will you marry me?" I can't breath. Just waiting for her response is torture. What if it's too soon? What if she says no? What have I done? Have I screwed this up?
"So this was your plan all along" She at me incredulously.
Now I'm confused.
"Huh?" That's all I can say. I have no idea what she means.
"To pin me under all 190 pounds of your solid muscle, so I couldn't run away." At first I made to move off of her, not knowing what to say. Then I saw it. Her smile that stretched across her face. She was teasing me. Two can play at this game.
"Well, if you rather, I can always tie you to the bed post and make you scream my name until you agree." I say to her in a low whisper.
"And if I agree now, will you still do that? Because that sounds like an amazing way to wake up Mr. Queen."
"Depends. Are you agreeing?"
"This isn't a business arrangement Oliver. Silly man. There is no choice to make. How many times do I have to say that?"
Smiling from ear to ear I reach between us and place the emerald and Diamond encrusted ring onto her left hand. She let's out an audible gasp. Clearly she had no idea that I had actually acquired an engagement ring for her. This wasn't a spur of the moment thing. I had been waiting for the right time for two months now. She reaches up then, and kisses me like her life depends on it. Then when we break apart for air, she seductivly says to me "now about that deal we made."
Damn this woman was gonna kill me.