Chaos Potential
D knew that he had no sensible reason to fear for his own child. Dana barely ever left the shop, and if, it was together with him or Leon, and always in the company of at least two pets who were guarding her. However, that didn't change the feeling that something was threatening him and his child.
Even Leon noticed when he called that evening, expecting to hear a long tirade and instead getting only random responses that barely made sense. They ended the call pretty soon again, with lame excuses on both sides, and then Leon lay in his bed in his aunt's house and couldn't go to sleep. He was already sorry that last weekend had ended so terribly. It really hadn't been his intention to freak out so thoroughly, but when he saw Dana there, with those great animals, he'd just – kind of hit rock bottom. There was only so much he could take without being prepared, and those sabre-toothed tigers had been far beyond his comfort zone on that evening, although that time in this weird dream, he had even shot one. To save D, back then. He didn't know why he had reacted so differently this time.
And yeah, he did have a bad conscience for not handling this situation better. One should think that he was able to, being a grown-up and all, but it had turned out that being away from the shop wasn't the break he'd wanted so badly a few weeks ago. The only thing it had changed was that now he was again seeing the two forms in turns, sometimes the pet, sometimes the human, sometimes both lingering over each other. And yes, he couldn't handle it.
Sighing, Leon rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. That wasn't the only thing that was bothering him. Something was off with D, more off than usual, and there had to be something done about that.
So when he came home for the weekend, he brought along a surprise.
"Chris!"
"Count!" The boy flung himself at the Chinese, who was staring at him with wide eyes, clearly surprised. A shadow seemed to cross his face, but then he gave in to the joy and embraced the kid. Leon had caught the dark look, but decided that he would later ask D about it. For the moment, he was content to see the kami relax and smile.
He didn't hear the pets heaving a collective sigh of relief that this weekend seemed to be off to a better start than the last few. The tension between those two had been everything but pleasant.
But now it seemed as if it was going to be very pleasant indeed. When Jill arrived on Saturday afternoon, Chris and Dana were playing in the parlour with Tetsu and Pon-chan while Leon and D were watching them from the sofa. There hadn't even been the trace of a fight yet. D was so happy to have Chris here that he completely forgot about being pissed for whatever reason, and Leon was for once too clever to start a fight.
"Wow, it's so quiet in here," Jill remarked, stepping inside. Leon took her coat and hung it up while she sat down heavily.
"Getting really big, that one," he said and nodded at her visible belly. She smiled and patted it affectionately.
"Big and busy, Leon. Kicking, punching, the whole fun." She didn't exactly sound sad.
Dana stopped playing with Chris and looked at Jill with wide eyes. "Auntie Jill?" she said with a decided voice. "Why are you getting so fat?"
Leon started coughing uncontrollably while Jill cracked a wry smile and D hastily covered Dana's mouth. "Dana, it's not polite to say such!" he scolded the girl. Chris giggled, too, and quickly hid behind his elder sibling.
"I'm pregnant, Dana," Jill spoke up and held a hand out. Dana willingly came and sat down on Jill's knees. "What is pregnant?" she asked curiously.
Leon sent D an unbelieving glance. "You never told her where the babies come from?" he demanded to know.
D pressed his lips together. "She knows that animals have babies, but I've not yet seen the need to tell her about human pregnancies," he said stiffly. "Besides, she's only able to understand since a few weeks ago."
Leon rolled his eyes, but kept quiet while Jill carefully explained to Dana that there was a baby in her belly, and finally let the girl feel how it moved in there. The child's eyes were shining brightly when she finally hopped down from the woman's knees again.
"Bàbà, can I get a baby, too, please?" she squealed and made Leon spit out his tea.
"NO!" he exclaimed and coughed, having choked on his tea. Chris patted his back and laughed so hard he was crying.
"Dana, you are too young to have children on your own," D hurriedly explained. "You will have to wait a few years to have any."
"Hopefully a few many years. God." Leon wiped the tears out of his eyes. "D! She shouldn't get any funny ideas about that!"
Dana pouted. "But I want a baby!" she claimed.
"You don't even know what a real baby is, darling," D said, scooping her up. "Babies need a lot of care, and you're still a baby yourself. No, my dear, I'm afraid you won't get any anytime soon."
"But the Count and my brother could have another baby."
All three adults fell silent at Chris' announcement. Dana's eyes went wide. "Truly?" she squealed.
Leon cleared his throat. He looked really uncomfortable. "'Could' doesn't mean 'will', Dana," he said to his daughter. "And D and I aren't going to get any babies anytime soon either."
"Why not?" Dana started protesting loudly, but Leon for once was very firm and decided. "No, sweetie. We won't have another baby just because you want one. We have to want one, too, since we're the ones who'll have to care for it. And that's final."
Jill sent him an admiring glance. "Wow, Leon, I didn't know you're so responsible. You couldn't by any chance play the dad for my baby, just for my parents?" she teased. The tension that had built since Dana's innocent remark was released when everyone started laughing at the image.
"No, Jill, I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'd not," Leon replied, chuckling, and patted his leg for Dana. "So now, anyone wants to play cards?"
The unrest returned the moment Leon was gone from the shop again. D gritted his teeth and received several customers both on Monday and Tuesday. His paperwork needed some attention, too, but without someone looking after Dana, his only choice was to close the shop. What he didn't want to do. If only Jill would have some minutes…
But Jill was busy with the kidnapping case. From what D got to know, the third baby had been snatched in front of a supermarket, while the mother was putting her shopping into the car. The media was in an uproar. D only hoped that Jill wasn't in charge of the case. Guessing by her emotional reaction last week, this would mean stress for her, stress a pregnant woman shouldn't have.
He made sure the "Closed"-sign was on the door when he sat down for a cup of tea and some minutes of silence. However, he didn't really get those. Dana took her chance at blackmailing him into reading her a book, and when he was halfway through, there was a knock at the door. Sighing, D bid his visitor enter.
It was Shao Lin. She stopped in the door, swaying back and forth. "Good day, Count D," she said hesitantly. "I – I do not want to disturb you, it was just… you are having a lot of customers today, too, so I thought if Dana-chan needs a babysitter again…?"
Her voice trailed off while she looked at him from wide dark eyes, like a deer's. D considered her offer, not knowing what to do. "Please sit down, Lin-san," he smiled and poured her a cup of tea as well. Dana slipped down from the sofa and went over to the girl.
"Will you read me a book again?" she asked and held the item out to her. Lin smiled at the little girl. "Why, Dana, if your father says yes, I will," she promised.
"Will you play with me, too?" Dana wanted to know. D hastily intervened.
"Now, Dana, don't be imprudent. Lin-san probably has other things to do," he said. The young woman's eyes flickered up to him.
"I – no, in fact, I don't," she confessed and dropped her gaze again. "In fact, I would be grateful if I could take care of Dana-chan for a while…"
A thought occurred to D then. "You don't want to sit home with your mother," he concluded. Lin nodded, blushing a deep scarlet. The young kami sighed. "You have to stay in the parlour," he said. "No matter what Dana says."
"Of course!" Lin cried in obvious shock. "I would never dream of being so impolite!"
D nodded his agreement and then leaned back while Lin at once started with her baby-sitting duties. Tetsu sidled up to him. The young kami scratched his fur behind one horn. "You will not let her out of your sight," he murmured. "Not into the back and not out of the shop."
The totetsu showed his teeth in a malicious grin. "Aye-aye, Count."
He could see the surprise on Jill's face when she stepped inside on Thursday and saw Lin on the sofa with Dana, reading yet another story to the girl.
"I didn't know you've gotten yourself a babysitter," she said and hung up her jacket before sitting down on the sofa with a deep sigh. D poured her a cup of tea. He'd just seen his last customer off and was determined not to be bothered for a least half an hour. By anyone.
But Jill of course wasn't an obligation.
"Why, it's not exactly like that," he said and smiled. Dana had cried "Hello, Auntie Jill!" and crawled down to run to her favourite female human. Jill caught her and placed her on her lap.
"Hello baby," she said. Dana shook her head. "I'm not a baby. The baby's in your belly," she replied and made the grown-ups smile.
"Yes, of course. But you're also a baby. Your father's baby." Jill accepted a slice of cake with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Count. Just what I need now. Sugar fix."
"Any news in the kidnapper case?" D inquired. Lin looked like she didn't know what to do, so he handed her a slice of cake as well. It would have been rude to throw her out only to call her in again later when he would open the shop again. Her mother's opinions not considered, the girl was a lovely, quiet company, content to play with his daughter and not demanding anything of D. Just what he needed at the moment.
Jill sighed and he turned his attention back to her. "No, no news. But no baby corpses either, and that's at least good news."
"Are you sure the kidnapper has taken the children to harm them?" D inquired, fighting down the fear.
Jill shook her head. "Why else take them? We've tried to check all airports, you know, because of child trafficking, but nothing whatsoever. There aren't so many reasons why one steals babies. They were really small, you know. Not even a year old." She smiled at Dana and cuddled the girl. "Thank god you're already too old, darling. No one would steal you."
The smile on his face felt plain wrong.
"And what if the purpose of this is neither child trafficking nor violence, but the babies themselves?" D suggested hastily to distract himself from it. "This happens with animals, too, you know. The cuckoo lets other birds raise it's children, but there are also cases in which youngsters lose their parents and the neighbour couple takes care of them."
Both women looked at the kami in surprise. "Truly?" Jill asked. "Well… but why would one steal another woman's baby?"
"Misguided motherly love?" Lin spoke up meekly. "I've once seen a film where a woman lost her kid and stole another one, because she couldn't bear to live without it."
D smiled at her and she blushed. Jill sipped her tea, deep in thought. "Well, we of course have thought about something similar, too, but since three babies were kidnapped, we discarded this theory again. Why would someone take three kids if she just lost one?"
D placed his fingertips together. "You know the legend about the pelican, Miss Jill?" he asked. "It says that the pelican will feed his children with his own flesh if there's not enough food to bring them through. If someone thought maybe that those children weren't looked after, she or he might take them to take care of them in the 'proper way'. Then it wouldn't matter if it's one or five. The kidnapper would continue to 'collect children in need' until she herself won't be able to look after them. Just like the pelican kills itself with this misguided care for it's children."
"That's gross," Jill remarked and rocked Dana. The girl had silently listened to her father's tale. D smiled.
"A mother's love is something very rare and precious, Miss Jill. You are protective of your own child although it isn't even born yet. Every mother follows her instinct there, and as far as I remember, the death of a mother for her children often counts as the ultimate sacrifice, doesn't it? And just as often a mother's love can be misguided. It can become blind obedience towards the child's wishes. Perhaps you remember Mrs. Hayward and her daughter Alice, or Sandra and Julia Taylor… It could also be the other way round, the mother demanding of her child to fulfil the dreams she herself could not fulfil…"
Lin made a small sound, so D glanced at her, but the girl had hidden her face behind her teacup. He looked back at the detective. Jill was silent. She looked down on her own belly, at Dana, then finally at D.
Then she handed Dana over to her father and stood up. D accompanied her to the door. She smiled at him, her eyes betraying her true feelings. "Hey, goes that for you, too?" she asked and tickled Dana's chin. "Because, you know, she keeps calling you 'Dad'…"
D watched her ascend the stairs and felt the cold rise in his body. Instinct was ever the same. No matter what Dana called him, she would always trigger his maternal instinct.
Leon wasn't too thrilled about Lin either. It was pure chance that he met her Friday evening, D hadn't expected him to arrive so early, and Lin should have been gone long since anyway. It was just that right when she went out the door Dana came running from the back in her nightshirt. She had woken again, probably due to excitement since she knew Daddy was coming home today, and didn't want to go back to bed, no matter what D tried.
So he had let Lin stay. Just for another hour, until he'd brought some kind of order into his paperwork, which had been neglected since two months, the time of Leon moving to the shop and his stay in New York. D never had the time to take care of it, and it started to drive him mad. He wasn't the most exact person himself where tidiness was concerned, but he resented the very thought of his shop becoming as disorderly as Leon's old apartment. His mess was thankfully still packed away in cartons and crates and stuffed away in an empty room.
And so Lin was sitting on the sofa with Dana on her lap when Leon entered. The dark look on his face promised storm, and not even the fact that Dana immediately abandoned Lin's lap to run to her father cheered him up.
"What's she doing here?" he demanded, striding inside and hoisting Dana up on his shoulders. The girl happily tousled his hair and stole his hair tie. The blonde hair falling free made D's heart thump hard in his chest. Hastily he stood.
"Why, Leon, she was just reading a book to Dana," he tried to calm his lover, but didn't have too much success.
"Yeah, I saw that. I don't care."
"I will be on my way, then. Goodnight." Lin quickly disappeared, glancing at Leon with wide eyes.
D's brow wrinkled. He crossed his arms. "That was very impolite, Leon!" he chided his lover. "She was just doing me a favour."
"Why do you need favours from the Shao family, huh?" Leon replied angrily. "If you need a babysitter, hire someone else or ask Jill. I bet she'd be more'n happy to baby-sit Dana."
"As it happens, Miss Jill is very busy with her work," D snapped. "And I don't see why it should be such a terrible occurrence that Shao Lin is reading a book to our daughter." He put emphasis on 'our'. "You might have noticed that in four days it's Christmas Eve. People are looking for presents and I am very busy at the moment. I cannot look after Dana all the time."
Said girl tugged at her human father's hair quite fiercely. "Talk to me!" she demanded. Leon sent a last glare at his lover, but then he turned to his daughter. "I'll go lay her down," he announced and went to Dana's room with the happily babbling girl still on his shoulders.
When D quietly opened the door an hour later, he found Leon sleeping in Dana's small bed, curled up around his daughter, who in turn was holding on to his T-shirt.
The young kami smiled and closed the door again, then leaned against it from outside, staring into the dark corridor. Should he go to bed?
No, he decided. Not knowing that Leon was just in the next room. The temptation to go and wake him would be too great. And he still wasn't done with his paperwork.
So he returned to the parlour, brewed himself some strong black tea and set to work again.
A/N: Hei da! Jag är tillbaka! I'm tired to the bones - and take that at meaning - and completely beat and... it was so great. It was so damn hell beautiful and great and rainy and cold and absolutely one of the best trips of my life. I loved it. And I love you, brother of my heart, for babysitting my account yet again (but don't you dare have hopes it's gonna be the last time this year; you know what's gonna happen during summer). I brought a lot of souvenirs for you, if that's any consolation ;-)
Okay, back to business: review replies will have to wait; I'm back, but I've gotta do a paper, so time's short again. I'll probably get around to it by the weekend, but you know how it is... university's my job, not writing fanfiction. Even if I wish it was different.