The Great Hall was packed with Vikings from all over the Archipelago, all of them having come to pay respects to Stoick. I stood at a table where Hiccup was about to sit with Cami, Dagur, Mala and the others. He'd just given a speech, welcoming everyone to the memorial and recalling his favourite memories of his father. I remembered how he'd broken up practising this speech in private, but he'd pulled it off much better than either of us expected here.

He was perfectly relaxed, as I presume Astrid's plan had given him something to look forward to tonight, and was perfectly fine conversing with the others. As everyone laughed and reminisced, Hiccup looked at me and said "hey, bud... I'm really sorry about yesterday... I just... I just overbooked..."

I nodded slowly, still trying to process what I'd just seen Ruffnut do, before Hiccup noticed Eret sitting nervously across the table from him. He was curious enough to ask "hey Eret. You okay?"

"Oh yeah. I'm fine, Hiccup. Fantastic, actually..." Eret said, though there was still a hint of nervousness in his voice. "I'm waiting for this blind date Tuffnut and Dagur set me up with. But she's a bit late, I might add..."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow at this, saying "uh... okay. Did they say what her name was?"

"Um... you know what, I can't bloody remember. I think it was something like um... Hetty... or Harriet. But apparently, I'll know her when I see her..."

"Well, good luck with that..." Hiccup said, before returning to mourning Stoick again. Cami was sitting on Hiccup's left, and patted him on the back saying "you gave a great speech, Hiccup..."

"For a boy, at least?" Hiccup snarked with an eyebrow raised. Cami shook her head, saying "no, I'm deadly serious."

They exchanged smiles, before we heard Valka's voice behind us. "Hello son..."

Hiccup lit up as he turned to face his mother when she sat next on his right. "Hi Mom..." he said cheerfully. Oh, if he only knew what was about to happen... if only any of them knew...

"So, Hiccup..." Valka said, trying to provoke a response. "I was thinking that you were getting a little stressed out with your new position..."

Cami nudged the others, who all looked excitedly at Hiccup, waiting for him to reveal the surprise. "Oh, yeah..." he said, trying to sound ignorant.

"I thought you might need someone special... you know... to share the burden..."

"Hm... what kind of special someone are you talking about, Mom?"

"Oh for Gods' sake, I can't hold this in anymore, Hiccup!" she said excitedly. "I know about your betrothal!"

"Oh..." Hiccup said as he and everyone else went wide eyed, a hint of worry in his voice as he added "so... uh... do you like h..."

"Are you joking? I'm thrilled! I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner, Hiccup. This is fantastic!"

"Oh, great!" Hiccup said. "Well, Mom. She's on her way here, now. Oh, Gods. I know Ast..."

"But y'know, I have to be honest, I always thought that Astrid would be more your type, but I never would have thought that Thorston lass would be so perfect for you!"

"Wait... what?"

"Ever since her parents showed me her and her brother when they were wee babies... it never crossed my mind, but I went chopping wood with her... she's such a sweet lass, and I thought to me self... she'd be perfect for my Hiccup, she would. And I suppose that brother hers makes a nice enough in-law..."

"Aw, thanks..." Tuffnut said, prompting a scowl from the others. They, and Hiccup, were still confused, as Hiccup said "Mom, what exactly are you talking ab..."

"Y'know. Ruffnut... your girlfriend..."

"Ruffnut... Girlfriend?"

"Oh aye, don't bother denying it now, son. I saw you two love birds yesterday. She was attacking that Eret lad and Skullcrusher put her up on that perch, and you, the big dashing hero, went to save her. Ah, to be young, wild and have your father by my side again. So romantic..."

"Yeah, well... see, Mom, uh... Ruffnut isn't actually m..."

"Hi honey!" Ruffnut said as she ran over and sat on Hiccup's lap. Everyone else looked with wide eyes as she rested directly on his crotch, trying to get in an almost sexual position, and one that made Hiccup very uncomfortable. She grabbed his collar and yanked him towards her, planting another deep, uncomfortable kiss on his lips.

"Aw, look who's here... the woman of the hour..." Valka said warmly. "I'm sorry to ruin your wee surprise, Ruffnut, but Hiccup over here was just telling me the truth about your little relationship..."

"Oh, he was... Aw, I'm so proud of you, babe!" Ruffnut wrapped her arms around Hiccup's neck and hugged him tightly, putting his head dangerously close to her cleavage, which she had due to wearing a much tighter-fitting shirt. Hiccup didn't care about this, however, since he was too busy noticing that Ruffnut was wearing Astrid's betrothal necklace.

As Valka went to get drinks for them all, everyone else watched as Hiccup pulled himself out of Ruffnut's embrace and snapped "Ruff! Where is Astrid?!"

"Oh, uh... she said she hated having Valka for a mother-in-law so... she killed herself..." Ruffnut lied unconvincingly. "She said I could have you, though..."

"What?! No she didn't! Ruffnut, where is she?!"

Cami was about to grab Ruffnut to ask her herself, but Ruffnut suddenly wrapped Hiccup into another embrace as Valka came back with drinks. "So, tell me..." she said. "When did you two decide to make it official?"

I couldn't bear to see Hiccup like this, trapped between an ignorant mother and his annoying friend who was trying to pass him off as her lover. I looked at the others, and all of them, even Dagur, seemed to have a look on their faces that asked one question: Where Is Astrid?

I turned away from the table and ran out of the Hall, heading down the empty village, past the broken perch Ruffnut had fallen from, to the stable where Astrid was held. I had to put this right. For Hiccup's sake. And everyone else's.