Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've had a pretty intense month. Anyway I hope you enjoy this update, it goes into Severus a bit as well as develops the relationship between Tonks and Remus as well as Hermione and Remus.

There are many people that read this fanfiction, and the amount of reviews I get is disappointing. One of the major reasons I haven't updated in a while was a lack of response. I love reading the reviews I get, whether they be complementing, flaming, or constructive criticism. PLEASE I beg of you they are what keeps me wanting to write more. I take any ideas and suggestions into mind, and more often then not incorporate them into my story because most of the time it makes this fiction better. Please take two minutes out of you day and review, it would mean the world to me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just like playing with JK's characters.

Chapter 10

Severus stepped out into the hallway and looked around briefly before allowing his shoulders to relax. In front of students he was always rigid and stern, but it certainly did nothing to help the pain in his already aching joints. He started to walk, but turned around and gave a brief nod to the wood nymph in the portrait. She smiled at him in greeting before going back to picking the berries in the bush next to her. As he continued down the hallway he could see the deer following him out of the corner of his eye until he turned right into a hall that held no pictures. The little creature looked after him until he disappeared into the dark dungeons completely.

He liked to walk around the dungeons when he needed to think. For some reason the cool darkness helped him sort out everything in his head.

Eighteen years. He still remembered the first time that damned curse hit him.

Flashback

He stood in the center of a large oval room with stone walls and marble floors. The lights were dim around him and he could not make out what lie beyond the circle of masked figures surrounding him. A large throne like chair was in front of him, and sitting in that was the nightmare of a man that he chose to join in his youth.

The Dark Lord rose from his throne and took a step closer to the young man, "Severusss, why have you failed me again?"

Severus had to keep from trembling as he looked up from the floor, "My lord, I sincerely apologize. The girl was not at her house when we arrived. My information must have been planted, but I swear on my life that they said they were meeting at eight that evening," he explained his voice wavering slightly towards the end.

"Because of your absence of intelligence we lost two loyal followers to the aurors!" he shouted as he pulled his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at the quivering young man, "Do you have anything else to defend yourself Severusss?"

He knew it was coming, it was the Dark Lord's favorite form of punishment, and he braced himself as he shook his head. He didn't hear the spell being cast, but he certainly felt it. He collapsed to the ground in a heap writhing in pain, trying not to make any noise. He would not let himself be broken, only lesser men screamed.

The Dark Lord had held that curse for at least five minutes before he deemed the punishment acceptable. Severus could barely pick his head up off the ground when the torture was over. Any amount of pain that he had known before had been absolutely nothing when compared to Voldemort's Cruciatus curse. He vaguely heard the Dark Lord tell two others to remove him from the room before he passed out from the residual pain.

When he awoke he found himself in the hall outside of the meeting room. He had no idea how long he had laid there, nor did he care. He just wanted to get home and go to sleep in a bed. He dragged himself off the floor and stood shakily on his feet. He stumbled to the apparition point, and thought as clearly as he could about his destination.

Crack. He looked up hoping that he had landed near his anticipated location and was semi-pleased to see that he was ten feet from the Spinner's End home door. He would have been slightly more satisfied if the apparition didn't cause him to want to retch. He sluggishly walked up to it and placed his hand on the door knob, waiting for the wards to recognize him. He heard the faint click and opened the door gently. The house was dark, but he knew his way without looking.

The stairs creaked beneath him as he slowly but surely climbed the stairs and made his way to the bathroom. When he reached the toilet he collapsed to his knees and vomited everything in his stomach, which wasn't much. After about five minutes of heaving his intestines out of his body he stood up and stepped to the sink. He leaned on it heavily as he turned on the water and splashed his face with it. He then cupped one of his hands and washed his mouth out. He leaned there for a few more minutes before standing up straight and taking off his clothing.

When he was completely devoid of clothing, he stepped into the shower and turned the water as hot as it would go. The water started out ice cold as it warmed up and gradually became blistering. He stood under the stream for what seemed like hours before he turned it off and got out. Wandlessly summoning a towel to himself, he dried off and wrapped it around his waist before going back into the hallway.

He walked past the door to his parents' bedroom, which hadn't been opened in over a year. His mother had died at the end of his sixth year, and unfortunately his father hadn't died until the end of his seventh.

He continued walking down the dark, cold, and plain hallway until he reached the last door on the right. Opening the door revealed a small room with only a bed, wardrobe, and small bedside table with a lamp on it. He dragged himself to the twin sized mattress and collapsed in a heap on top.

He laid there awake for hours trying to ignore the pain radiating from his nerves before finally succumbing to peaceful oblivion.

End Flashback

As he came back to reality he found himself in front of door to his quarters. Grabbing the door knob he let himself in after being recognized and looked around for a minute trying to decide whether the desk or couch would be more comfortable. After looking at the cluttered desktop he decided, and headed towards the couch. He sat down heavily on the black leather and let out a sigh of relief.

Sitting there staring into the fire he recalled that many times he thought about ending his life to stop the pain. Eighteen years was a long time to have this sort of agony, but the call of duty kept him for gaining the peace he wanted.

Reaching into his pocket he felt for the folded up piece of parchment with the questions that that insufferable Know-it-All had wanted him to answer. He unfolded it and summoned a quill and inkpot to himself. He looked at the list; reading each of the thirty questions and feeling his mood gradually decrease in contentment after each one. Rolling his eyes after reading number twenty-two and being asked to give his blood type if known he rolled his eyes and started at the beginning.

When Hermione stepped out of the green flames she was greeted by a kitchen table full of people. She looked around for an empty chair and walked towards Ginny to take the seat beside her. Mrs. Weasley shuffled over and placed a plate in front of her, "Tuck in dear."

There were many different conversations going on at one time during dinner, but instead of joining in Hermione decided to just listen.

"…Ministry officials still have no idea why it happened," Mr. Weasley said to Remus who nodded and responded, "I seriously doubt that the Ministry has no idea, but what can we do about it?" Hermione turned to the next conversation.

"…hasn't been a better seeker in over thirty years and you know it Harry," said Ginny before she took another bite of beef stew. Harry gave her a skeptical look before turning to Ron and discussing the beaters on the Chudley Cannons.

"…trying a new idea, it's a notebook that picks up on the voice of those around them and writes down the conversation," Fred explained to Tonks who nodded in understanding before gesturing for him to continue.

Eating her own portion of beef stew, she started to think about the day's course of events. She knew that Professor Snape had to be in more pain than he was letting on. She was pretty sure that he was held under that curse for extended periods of time at least once a month. If her calculations were correct than he should have been driven insane by the sheer amount of residual pain, but he seemed to hold himself normally. I guess his normal makes a little bit more sense if she thought about it. She would be angry and irritable too if she felt radiating pain from her joints for the last eighteen years of her life.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a voice, "You're being awfully quiet."

She looked up to see Sirius observing her, a worried look on his face. She smiled at him reassuringly, "I was just thinking."

He grinned, "Well we know that's never a good sign," he said and successfully dodged the pea that she had thrown towards his head. "What were you thinking about Kitten?"

She pondered for a second deciding on how much to tell him, "Potions."

"Could of guessed that," he replied with a cheeky grin, before his expression turned serious, "Minerva came by today around two o'clock. She said that your parents are getting on well in the safe house."

Hermione looked up suddenly from her bowl of stew, her eyes wide, "Did she say she is coming back? I wanted to give my parents a letter, telling them a few things."

He nodded, "She said she'd be back in a couple of days, and that she had to do a few things for Hogwarts."

Hermione stood up from the table and banished her plate and cup of pumpkin juice to the sink with a flick of her wand, "Thanks Sirius, I'm going to go write that letter. I'll be in the library if anyone needs me." He nodded in acknowledgement before turning to join the conversation Mr. Weasley was having with Remus.

She walked up the stairs trying to be stealthy as she passed the portrait of Mrs. Black. She wanted to tell her parents about the development of her potion, and that she was extremely grateful that they had gone without much fuss to the safe house. She couldn't even begin to imagine just how much it would affect her if she lost them.

She stepped through the oak library doors and walked over to the dark cherry desk in the corner. She opened the second drawer on the right and pulled out a piece of parchment and some ink. After summoning a quill to herself and dipping it in the ink she took a moment to figure out what she wanted to say.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hope everything at the new house is good. You have no idea how much safer you are now that you are in an unplottable home. I also know you wish me there with you, but in order to continue with my potion that would be impossible, they need me here. I now have a person willing to help me test my potion, and hopefully it will help him and lessen his pain. I love the both of you so much and I will write again soon.

Love,

Hermione

She read over the short note again and satisfied she sealed it in an envelope and put it in her pocket. She decided to stay in the library for a while and catch up on some of her reading.

She didn't know how long she sat there, but the next time she looked at the clock on the mantel it was 1:12 in the morning. She marked her place in Magical Maladies and shrunk it to store inside her pocket. She rose from her chair and stretched, allowing the muscles in her back to loosen before she headed to the door. She stepped into the hallway and started to head upstairs but was stopped by two voices coming from below, and the voices were not talking quietly. Deciding that sleep could wait a bit longer to sleep, she crept quietly down the staircase and towards the voices. As the voices grew louder their owners' came into view, Remus and Tonks were arguing.

"Remus, you can't keep telling me it was not my fault when it was," Tonks cried, "That family was given to me…I was the one those boys were told to contact, and I couldn't get their quick enough." She seemed to deflate and sat down on top of the table, her legs swinging. "I should have just gone their alone and tried to help them myself after sending you a patronus …"

Remus looked on helplessly, "Dora…you would have been killed with the family if you had rushed in by yourself," he tried explaining to her in a soft tone.

Tonks hopped off the table and stalked over to the fireplace, throwing some powder in, "Maybe it would have been better if I had…" she said as she stepped into the flames.

Remus moved towards the fireplace as an attempt to stop her from leaving, "Dora, pleas-," but she disappeared a second later cutting off his plea.

Remus sighed in exasperation looking at the spot Tonks had stood a moment before, "Dammit!" he yelled. He roughly lowered himself into one of the chairs and slammed his fist on the surface of the table before covering his face with both hands.

Hermione chose that moment to make her presence known. She stepped into the kitchen and flicked her wand at a teapot which started brewing a fresh pot of tea. Remus still hadn't looked up, but she knew that he could tell it was her, if not by her scent than by her unique sounds. A minute later she sat down next to Remus and poured him a cup of steamy liquid before making a cup for herself.

They sat there in silence for another couple of minutes before Remus finally lowered his hands to the cup and picked it up. He took a taste and gave Hermione a small smile, "Thanks."

She gave him a small grin and nod in return, "Anything I can do to help?"

He shook his head and stared miserably down at the tea, as if it would tell him the answers to his problems, "She won't let me close enough to help her. I have no idea why, she has never been like this. Is there some strange female thing that is escaping my notice?"

Hermione chuckled a little before replying in a serious but comforting tone, "I think she believes everyone blames her for what happened." Remus looked at her horrified and opened his mouth to respond but Hermione continued, "I know you don't think that Remus, and no one else does either. I think you should actually tell her that though. She will probably deny that she is thinking that, but just watch how she looks at everyone, as if waiting for judgment to fall."

Remus nodded in understanding, "I noticed that look too, but I had no idea what she was thinking." He finished off his tea and rose from the table, "Thank you Hermione, should I go find her or give her some space?"

She thought for a moment trying to think what she would want in this situation, "Go find her, she is probably beating herself up over this and I think she needs someone that will listen to her and comfort her. Just remember what I told you, and tell her that it is not true."

Remus smiled and headed over to the fireplace, "Okay, I'll find her. Wish me luck and thank you…for everything." He threw some powder into the fire and was on the trail of Tonks a second later.

Hermione watched the green flames turn back to orange and sat there for a few minutes more to finish her tea. She headed out of the kitchen after cleaning up the cups and kettle and headed up to her bed. After slipping into her nightclothes she snuggled into the warm covers, "Nox."

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