Hello my lovely readers!

I am sorry that this is another post of this chapter.. Something funky is going on. Gahhh stupid fanfiction! I am seriously about to kill my computer.

So I think that I caused a little confusion with Author's Note that I posted on this story. Some of you thought that it was a chapter, but it wasn't. It was a preview of this chapter. I am sorry for that confusion!

Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed! It warms my heart to read your thoughts about the story. I am also sorry that I haven't replied to them.. Life has been crazy!

Updates will not be as regular (you probably guessed that already...) I will still try to update as much as I can. I hope that you stay with me and continue to enjoy the story!

Please read the bottom note! It is important!

Well I can't think of anything else.. So onto the chapter!

Oh and there is a lemon in Edward's POV so if you don't like then please skip, but for those of you who do, enjoy!

Push by Matchbox Twenty

She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well

This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will

Well I will

She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
'cuz It's a little bit dirty well

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged you,
And you don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, yeah I will, I will

Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this Baby, baby

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted, yeah, yeah, yeah
I wanna take you, take you, yeah, well I will, I will, I will, I will
I will, I will, I will, Yeah, yeah, push you around,
I'll drag you down, I wanna push you around
Well I will

Bella POV

I couldn't tell him. Something was holding me back, but I couldn't figure out what. I knew that Edward would never look down upon me. He was my mate; he would never hold anything against me, no matter how dark or ugly. I vaguely thought that maybe I thought he would look down upon me or think I was not worthy to be with him. I was after all contaminated with the feelings and thoughts of the wolves.

Then again maybe us being mates was the thing that was holding me back. Did he feel like he was obligated to make sure that I was okay? Was he forced to care for me? I didn't want him to have to care for me. I didn't want to be a nuisance. I wanted him to be with me because he loved me not because some outside force made us come together.

"Bella, love, you know that you can tell me anything and I won't judge or hold it against you, right?" Edward's hesitant voice asked as he cuddled himself further around me. He purred softly in my ear, another reassurance that he cared for me.

The clear and clean sky air was helping to clear my foggy and frantic thoughts. I was glad that Edward had decided to bring me here. I needed to get away for awhile. The wolf had really messed me up; the memories and thoughts came flooding back with such vengeance, I thought that I was drowning. I probably would have too, if Peter hadn't of shown up. He managed to keep my head above the water until Edward could get there to pull me from the water. Sometimes I wondered what I would do if Peter or Edward weren't there to help me. It never ended well; at least in my mind.

It continued to amaze me that Edward had such control over me in such a short time, and vice versa. I didn't mind it; it was actually very comforting to know that someone was always looking out for me. I didn't find an annoyance to have to care for someone else. I wanted to help and care for Edward. It amazed me that he had found such a special place in my heart in such a short time. The thought that I was always on Edward's mind, seemed to help me when he was away, which was rare. He never wanted to leave me side. Something that I was very grateful for.

I nodded and buried myself deeper in Edward's embrace. It was like I couldn't get close enough to him. He understood me like no one else could; he knew what I needed and when I needed it. He was the dark to my dark chocolate. He was the sun that warmed me up and made me shine. He was my everything. And that scared the shit out of me. I didn't deserve to have someone that special.

"You are nothing. No one wants you. Why do you think that no one has come to save you? It is because they don't care about you. You are just a low life bloodsucker with no friends. You don't deserve to have anyone care about you," Sam whispered in my ear as I whimpered in pain. He was right. I deserved this. I deserved the pain and suffering. Peter didn't though. He was such a good soul even with his mishaps. I wished that I could take away his pain. I deserved to be punished. It was entirely my fault, anyways.

Please, please, please. I didn't know if I was begging for him to stop or if I was begging for him to continue with the pain.

"I know, Edward," I said. I breathed in his healthy and clean scent, loving the way that it curled into my nostrils and made a shiver go down my spine. He brought me back down to earth when I took a rocket ship out to space.

"Okay," Edward said as he buried his nose in my hair and breathed my scent in deeply as well. We were both reassuring ourselves that our mate was fine when in reality one was far from fine. Distractions could make anyone forget about their pain and I for once intended to forget.

"Bella dear, is there a reason that you don't like the door to be closed when you are in a room?" Esme asked as she walked into Edward and mine's room with a curious expression on her face. Edward and the rest of the family had decided to take a hunting trip around the area. I had to practically force Edward to leave me side. Finally after multiple reassurances and Emmett threatening to carry him out of the house, Edward gave me a kiss on the forehead and left me in the protection of Esme. I could tell that he was very nervous to be leaving me, but I needed some time to myself; time that I probably wouldn't be getting.

I continued to stare out the window contemplating my answer; I wondered if I could actually tell her the truth. I was sitting in the window ledge, enjoying the warmth that the sunshine provided. My skin was glittering like a thousand diamonds as I was stretched out like a cat on the window seat.

Over the last couple days I had found that I quite enjoyed Esme's company; she was the mother-figure that I needed and craved. Her sweet disposition put me at ease, and her need to comfort me surprised me. She was such a fierce thing. No one messed with her children and got away with it. I liked the fire inside her. Secretly I wished that I had some of her fire.

I sighed and opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Esme's face broke out in concern and love as she sat down on the bed to wait for me to speak. I was still very skittish around her and the family so they always kept a respectable distance between me and them. I loved the fact that she somehow knew that I wanted and needed to speak, but that I couldn't at the moment. I was tongue-tied and worried about what she would think of me if I did dare to tell her. She decided to wait.

My gold eyes continued to stare out the window and watch as a small rabbit fled an oncoming predator; in the back of my mind I figured that Emmett would be the one to chase it. I stifled a laugh as I saw Emmett burst through the trees and run after the rabbit with his tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog. Esme also saw Emmett and smiled shaking her head as she looked down at her lap, still waiting for me to speak.

"It reminds me of the place," I whispered quietly after a few moments of silence. Esme's head came back up to look at me at the sound of my voice. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wished that Edward was here with me. He provided a sense of comfort and safety that no one else had.

"Is there something specific that it reminds you of?" Esme asked in a soft, motherly voice; she was trying not to scare me. I reminded her of a caged animal.

"They always had the door closed. It would show their dominance in the situation. It would show that I would never be able to leave without them opening the door. It shows my desperation and fear," I said as I continued to stare out the window. Emmett's form was long gone, but I continued to look for him, hoping that he would come back and Edward would be with him.

"Bella dear, you do know that we would never, ever do something like that, right?" Esme asked softly as worry washed over her face.

I turned my head and rested it on my knees; I looked up into her soft and worried eyes before saying, "Yes, I know,"

Relief filled her soft golden eyes, but concern still flickered in their depths. I could also she a little bit of pride shining through; she was proud of me for talking to her about my experience. She didn't want to push me, but she wanted me to get better and the only way to do that was to talk.

"Why did they do it, Esme?" I asked her with venom filling my eyes. I asked myself that question ever since I had escaped. I still didn't understand how they could treat me that way. I didn't understand how Sam could do something like that. He was always such a nice man to me when I was with Jake. I felt a pang of hurt as I thought of Jake.

My emotions crashed together and I felt like I was drowning once again. Esme stood quickly and flitted to my side; she picked me up easily and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I stiffened for a second before realizing that she wouldn't hurt me; she wanted to help. She held me tight as she rocked me back and forth while humming something softly.

"My mother used to hum this song to me when I was feeling down. When I lost my child she gathered me in her arms just like this and hummed in my ear for hours as I cried my eyes out. I don't know why I never listened to the words that she would sing with it, but I want you to listen. It might help you as it once helped me," Esme then started singing. Her voice was soft and filled with unsuppressed emotion, and just for a second I felt like someone cared.

I love you so much,

I love you so much,

I can't even tell you how much I love you.

You are special to me,

You are special to me,

I am lucky to have you as part of my life.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love you so much,

I love you so much,

I can't even tell you how much I love you.

"Don't ever forget that we do love you Isabella Marie Swan, and nothing in the entire world could ever change that. You are a strong woman that will get through this with the love and help of your family. This family. Don't ever give up on yourself because you deserve so much more than what life has given you. You deserve the world. I just hope that one day you realize just how special you are," Esme said as she continued to rock me.

Dry sobs erupted out of my chest. I wished that I could cry. I wanted to get rid of these emotions clouding my mind and overpowering my body. I wanted tears to run down my face. I wanted the red eyes and puffy face that I used to get when I was human. Something inside me broke. And at that moment I realized that I wanted my human life back, but I knew there was no way I was going to get it back. And that was what hurt the most. Knowing that I could never go back.

"Let it all out, Bella. Don't hold anything back," Esme said as she continued to comfort me. I felt anger and bitterness rising inside of me. I didn't understand where it was coming from, but I wanted to scream and kick and fight. I wanted the feeling of them crawling all over my skin to leave. I wanted them gone, permanently. Maybe someone in the vampire world could erase memories. If there was I wanted to find them, and I would make them help me.

Erasing them from my mind wouldn't heal all of my problems though. I had to fight. I had to want to live. And right now with the anger pulsing through every crevice in my body, building and bubbling with such force that I could explode at any moment, I wanted to live. I wanted to be better for Edward; I wanted him to be able to walk into a room and close the door knowing that I wouldn't freak the fuck out. I wanted his family to be able to give me a hug and not flinch away. I wanted to be able to walk around this house without wondering when the wolves were going to come back. I wanted to not be afraid. I wanted to be normal.

My emotions and problems had been festering inside me for too long, and I finally erupted. I jumped up out of Esme's arms almost tearing them off in the process; she backed away to the door, not wanting to get in the middle of my destructive wake. I started screaming at the top of my lungs cursing the wolves with every word I could think of and some that I made up. I grabbed the first solid object that I saw and gripped it tight within my hand; it turned to dust the second my fingers closed around the object.

I felt a little satisfaction at that. I was in control for once. I could destroy something. The last thing that I remember was Esme looking at me with concern and worry before fleeting out of the room cell phone in hand while I destroyed everything in my reach.

Edward POV

I knew that she wouldn't tell me. Alice had already let me know that it was too soon. The wounds were too fresh and reopening them would not do her any good, but I was a selfish and impatient bastard, and I wanted to know, now. It was eating me alive not to know what those bastards did to my love. The scars that mar her body were enough indicators that it was not a day camp there. I, truly, didn't even know where there was. The longer that Bella held the information back form me, the angrier I was going to get. The male inside me demanded that I get revenge.

I felt like I had failed her somehow. I was her mate. I was supposed to protect and care for her, and I didn't. Deep down I knew that I couldn't have protected her. It was impossible. But that didn't stop the guilt from blooming and gathering in my stomach. It was an all consuming feeling; one that I wanted desperately to go away.

I ran my fingers lightly over the scar that ran from her ear down to her collarbone as I waited for her to gather her thoughts; I had a feeling that she didn't even know I was touching her. Her eyes were unfocused and her brown furrowed.

I had asked Carlisle about her scars. He said that the scars will fade over time, but right now, they were lit up like Christmas trees, flashing with lights that reminded me of my failure every single time that I looked.

"Bella, love, you know that you can tell me anything and I won't judge or hold it against you, right?" I said as I closed my eyes and leaned forward to bury my face in her neck. I breathed in deeply and let her sweet smell consume me. She was still a timid creature. The wolves had done so much damage. Every small movement had her jumping and cringing in fear. Peter and I were the only ones that could touch her freely. I also knew that I could only touch her anytime because she was my mate. She knew that I wouldn't hurt her because in doing so I would hurt myself. I wondered if what would have happened if she wasn't my mate. I tried to drag myself out of such depressing thoughts, but found that I couldn't.

She would still be in that place being tortured and starved to death. Peter would also be stuck; I imagined that it was a little worse for him. He had a mate before he went to Bella. You can't be away from your mate for a long time without going crazy. I was surprised that Peter was sticking around after he got out of the hell hole; I would have rushed to my mate and claimed her.

Somehow my thoughts were directed to earlier days. My family had scared the shit out of Bella when she woke up without me. I was sure that she was scared half to death of Emmett. The fact that he had her on his chest when she woke up in a new and strange place didn't help. I was stuck lying in my bed, whining and moaning in pain. Being away from my mate and having my limbs torn off was a double whammy. The anger and protectiveness that overcame me when I heard her scream shocked me; I wanted to run downstairs and rip my brother apart, but somehow I stayed put. It was probably due to Carlisle holding me down telling me that Peter was helping Bella and everything was fine. She would be up to see me in a moment. I didn't believe him though. I growled and tried to get to my Bella. I fought against Carlisle for a moment before I gave up. I was too weak to protect my mate. This was just a fan-fucking-tastic day.

I called Bella's name when I heard her quiet footsteps hesitating at the door. My family must be scaring her. I needed her to help make the pain go away; now there was this pulling in my chest. It was demanding that we be together. Her very presence would sooth the pain. And just like I knew she would, she came flying up the stairs and launched herself into my arms.

"I know, Edward." I was jerked out of my thoughts when I heard Bella's voice finally answer my question. I felt her inhale my scent and hold it in her lungs. I felt a flash of lust overcome my body. She liked my scent just as much as I liked her scent.

I nuzzled against her neck again before speaking, "Okay," I tried to stop the feeling of disappointment that flashed through me, but I couldn't. I knew that she wasn't telling me because she didn't trust me or think I would hold her experience against her, but I couldn't help but think that she didn't trust me enough to tell me. I breathed in her scent trying to distract my mind from the direction that it was going; it wasn't working. I winced slightly when heard Alice start to scream in my head.

Edward, sometimes I swear that you are an idiot. She isn't telling you because she doesn't trust you; she isn't telling you because it just fucking happened. I mean you can't expect her to talk about something so life changing so quickly. She isn't ready, but she will be in a couple months.

I baulked. Months, I exclaimed to myself, but knew Alice would see. I would have to think of something to get Bella to tell me sooner. I had to know. I needed to know. And by god she was going to tell me. I wasn't going to let Sam and the other bastards that did this to her get away scotch free. Alice and Jasper way have hurt a few of them, but I could feel it in my bones that the important ones were still alive and kicking. And they would pay. Soon. Consequences be damned.

I had to hold off the smirk that was threatening to come onto my face. It was a good thing that Bella and I are mates, I thought to myself as I realized that sex was a very powerful motivator. My thoughts flashed back to Bella giving me venom, and I instantly hardened and twitched. From the way that I positioned I knew that Bella would feel me. Her hips lifted off the ground in response to my twitch. I felt a thrill flow through me.

Well this is working out better than I planned I thought to myself as I pressed my lips to Bella's neck and started sucking gently. Bella didn't move to object so I decided to continue my ministrations. The only difference that I noticed in her was a slight tensing in her body. Whether from pleasure of fear I did not know.

Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, Alice screamed in my head, if you try to use sex to get Bella to tell you what happened to her, I swear I will cut your balls off and tell Jasper to hide them! She flashed a vision of Jasper looking shocked at something in Alice's hand. I cringed and a shiver went down my spine. I wasn't hard anymore. I knew that Alice would actually do it. I put a gentle kiss on my mate's neck and then pulled away. I started to feel a very heavy and sexual charged atmosphere forming. I hoped that Bella was feeling the same thing otherwise my hand would be taking care of a very hard problem later.

I huffed but nodded my consent. I knew that I was being a child about all of this, but I felt that I had the right. I was slightly disappointed in myself for actually considering having sex with my mate just because I wanted to get revenge. I felt a wave of shame overcome me. I was supposed to protect and love my mate, not manipulate her into giving me what I want.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Alice said in a soft voice, you should know better than that. You would destroy Bella and yourself if you manipulated her like that. She is your equal, not a pawn for you to use for your enjoyment. Bella wants to feel safe and protected. She wants to feel like you will let nothing bad ever happen to her again. You need to be the protective asshole that all new male mates are. She needs that, badly. And you better damn well give it to her!

I nodded again and felt Bella smile against my neck. She obviously knew by now that I was answering something that someone asked me. I wasn't crazy and nodding to the air as she claimed I was.

"Alice?" Bella asked softly as she reached up with her hand and started to run her fingers through my scalp. I let loose a purr of contentment at the feeling of her nails scraping against my scalp. It felt exquisite.

I nodded my head up and down, dragging my nose against her skin and breathing in deeply. She had the sweetest smelling skin. I felt myself hardening once again, but I didn't move. I knew that she would feel the bulge lengthening and hardening against her thigh, but I wanted her to know that I wanted her. She deserved to feel wanted.

Bella let loose a low purr as I continued the circuit of dragging my nose. Once in a while I would poke my tongue out and lick, suck, and bite her sweet tasting skin. Venom flooded my mouth as I continued to taste my mate's skin. Lust overpowered my mind and soon enough, I rolled Bella onto her back and nudged her knees apart. I settled myself in between her legs, our centers lining up perfectly. My hand traveled up her torso pulling her shirt along. My thumbs rubbed circles in her newly exposed skin as more skin appeared. Bella raised her arms above her head and with a gentle tug I stared at my mate without a shirt on. Both of our eyes blackened with desire.

I stayed up on my arms, not letting any of my weight be on my mate; I was practically doing a pushup above her. I sucked hard on her once pulse point and smiled wickedly when she let out a loud moan and her hips bucked up to try to meet mine. She wanted to find friction and I was the closest thing that provided it. Her hands traveled over my biceps and gentle pulled at the collar of my shirt. She wanted it off. I agreed and with a quick rip, my shirt was on the ground, our chests almost pressed together. Electricity seemed to be jumping from my skin to hers.

Her eyes had drifted closed as I undid her front clasp to her bra and let her breasts fall out. I let her hard flesh escape from my mouth and she whimpered in protest. I just stared at the exquisite, bare form in front of me. She was beautiful. My hand latched onto her breast and I moaned loving the feeling of her bare skin against mine. She was the perfect size, fitting right in my hand. I pulled her nipple and watched with amazement as she thrust her chest in my direction silently asking for more. The monster in me cheered and roared with an easy victory. I removed my hand and went back to the pushup position. The need to claim my mate was becoming great. I needed to move away from her a little or I would blow my load before we even started.

I moved my body up so I was straddled over her; my hands on either side of her head. Our chests were heaving and I watched as her breasts bounced with each breath. I pressed a gentle kiss to her lavish lips and then moved one of my legs to press against her center. Immediately her hips rocked against my leg and a moan was issued. I continued to let her grind her center against my leg as I watched with hungry eyes. All the while my cock was engorging and straining against my jeans. Pretty soon I would have to let him come out to play or he would explode, in a very unpleasant way.

I moved my lips to an inch above her and waited for her to open her lust filled eyes. She fluttered her eyelids when she felt my warm breathe, and then opened them fully when I dragged my tongue across her lower lip a little venom leaking out of my mouth and falling into hers. I rested my weight on one hand and then left the other one wander on its own accord back to her breast. I suck in a breath at the feel of her hardened nipple begging to be touched. I squeezed it gently and was rewarded with a groan of pleasure coming from my mate's mouth.

My hand completely covered her breast as I kneaded and massaged my new favorite part of Bella. Suddenly I wanted to taste her. I pressed my lips to Bella and plunged my tongue into her awaiting mouth. Before we could get to heavy, I moved to drag my tongue down her neck and chest. She watched with desire filled eyes as my tongue went between the valley of her breasts and then up to her nipple. I let my tongue travel and swirl around the budded tip watching with enthrallment as it hardened further. Bella was moaning and begging the whole time. I purred in satisfaction when Bella's hand buried themselves in my hair and started pulling in a very pleasurable way. She wanted more. Her hands were pushing my head down to her chest. I finally took pity on her and closed my lips around the bud. She growled and bucked her hips against my leg as my tongue flicked her bud. I sucked hard and then moaned letting the vibrations travel throughout her breast. She moaned loudly and her back arched off the ground.

I sucked and licked her for a while before moving over to her other breast and giving it the same attention and care. Bella moaned like a whore when she watched me travel to her other breast. My tongue went down, across, then up to her other nipple. She was very sensitive.

I gave one last hard suck and flick of my tongue before licking my way back up to her lips. I kissed along her jaw and purred. I removed my leg from being in between her legs, which was met with a growl of disapproval. I watched as Bella's tiny hand moved its way down from my hair to my chest and then even lower. Her hand ran through the soft hair down below and then she flicked the button open and dragged the zipper down, allowing my straining cock some room to breathe. I silently thanked Bella. It was getting painful to have my cock stuck in my jeans.

I continued to purr as I finally lowered my body to lay on hers. I growled in pleasure at the feeling of our bare chests pressed together. Shock waves and electricity were traveling throughout my body and skin. The vibrations from our purrs caused wonderful sensations everywhere. Our bodies lined up perfectly. She was made for me.

I lowered my mouth to rest above Bella's and waited. Bella's tongue peaked out and licked across my lower lips. She lifted her head and gently bit my lower lip; I growled and crashed my lips to hers. We both moaned as our tongues finally connected. Automatically venom flowed from my mouth to hers. She swallowed and sucked greedily as I plundered her mouth. I grinded my hips against her hot center and moaned deeply at the pleasure and lust that shot through my veins. Bella's moans of pleasure had my hips thrusting at a steady tempo that had my hard cock cheering in pleasure. Moans, grunts, and growls filled the air as our hips began a dance of intimacy that didn't end until we were both covered in sweat, panting for air that we didn't need, and my boxers and jeans were a sticky mess.

"Edward!" Carlisle called my name in my head and out loud as the family started to run into the forest. He wanted to talk medical about Bella. I had been putting him off for days hoping that he would drop it, but my luck had finally ran out. He had me cornered.

I tilted my head to acknowledge his call and slowed down to wait for him to catch up. I just wanted to hunt some god damn animals and get back to Bella, but my father was going to hold me up.

Bella had forced me to leave to go hunting with the family. I had begged her to come with me or let me stay, but she said she wasn't thirsty and that I needed to have some time with my family. I told her that she was part of the family, but she still didn't go for it. I even pulled the puppy dog eyes out. My mate still made me leave. I didn't want to go. Every time that I left Bella alone something bad happened, and it was my job to protect her.

Carlisle finally caught up and we ran in the general direction of some deer. Get something to eat and then we can talk. Esme wanted me to hold you up a little. I think she was hoping to talk to Bella by herself. Concern flooded my body before rationality overpowered it. Esme was my mother; she wouldn't hurt my mate. If anything she would try to help her.

I nodded and then took off to find myself a mountain lion. I hated that I had to hunt animals in order to survive, but it was a better option than eating a human. I had taken enough human lives in my lifetime. I still felt the guilt and regret festering and sitting in my stomach every time I thought about my rebellion. Carlisle and Esme had forgiven me, but I never forgave myself.

I breathed in deeply and the distinct smell of the cougar came into my nostrils. I smirked and jumped up into a tree. I let my instincts take over and before long the cougar was letting out a pathetic last wail as I drop the corpse to the ground. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and then let my senses spread out wide as I searched for Carlisle.

I found him burying his deer corpses in a hole under a tree. Is anyone around to hear this?Confusion overcame me. Carlisle never cared about who heard our conversation. The family was always very open and usually found things out on their own. We told each other everything; it was hard to hide things from an empathic, a mind reader, and seer.

"No, they are all busy ravishing each other," I said as I retreated from the very visual thoughts of my siblings. I let a shudder of disgust go down my spine. I just saw way too much of my brothers and sisters.

"Good. I know that I am usually not like this, but I didn't know if you wanted the family to hear this conversation just yet," Carlisle said. He had blocked his mind by thinking back to his times with Aro, Marcus, and Caius.

I raised an eyebrow and cocked my head to the side as I waited for him to start talking.

Carlisle took a deep breath before saying, "Bella has PTSD," I nodded my head at this, agreeing to the statement. Carlisle let out a deep sigh of relief.

"I have two medical degrees for a reason, Carlisle," I said with amusement plain in my voice.

"I know that you had come to the same conclusion, but I didn't know how you would react. You are newly mated Edward; you won't like someone trying to help her. Most males in this situation would have attacked me if I would have suggested such a thing. Males are very protective and if someone says that their mate is not fully dependable or healthy then they will attack. You, for some reason, are very calm right now," Carlisle said with a wary voice. He was eyeing me, waiting for me to snap. I had felt a flutter of disbelief that Carlisle would try to make it seem like something was wrong with my mate, but the rational side of my mind knew that Bella did indeed have PTSD. That didn't mean I would let someone help her though. I didn't trust her with anyone, but myself and some of the family members.

"I believe that I am this way because I have had years to come to terms that Bella would be messed up when she came back. And trust me Carlisle; I am not as calm as I appear. I find myself always wandering back to the house because this voice inside me is furious for leaving Bella with Esme. Every time I leave her to go somewhere, she gets hurts or freaks the fuck out!" I exclaimed as I threw my hands in the air finally letting my frustration out.

"Language, Edward," Carlisle chastised as I paced in circles around the area. "I know this is hard, son, but she will get better. You seem to be able to calm her down very quickly and she is starting to wander around the house. She is approving in leaps and bounds right before our eyes. It just takes time. But we do have to get her to talk about her experience if we ever want the triggers and flashbacks to go away. They will never go away completely, but gradually over time they will decrease. She needs professional help, Edward," Carlisle said in his medical voice.

"I know that she needs help, but she will never accept it, Carlisle," I said in a heavy voice as I sat down on a tree stump and let my head fall into my hands. She was such a stubborn ass; never taking help when it was offered. I knew for a fact that she would never go see a psychologist.

"If you tell her that you want her to go than she will most likely go," was Carlisle's brilliant reply. Heavy sarcasm was applied to that statement. I wanted to scoff at him.

"And if she still says no? What are we going to do then?" I replied in a sharp voice. I knew that I was letting my anger and frustration at the situation get the better of me, but I didn't give at fuck at the moment.

It was silent for a minute, "We will just have to make sure that she doesn't say no. We can't force her to go; that would do more harm than good, but we have to make sure that she takes to someone. Jasper has experience in this. He might be very helpful, and maybe he could finally use that pointless psych degree he got years ago," Sarcasm was very heavy in Carlisle's voice at the end of his statement. I wanted to laugh. Before we moved to Forks, Jasper decided that he wanted to help people. It was during the whole self-righteous era. He went to medical school and got a degree to be a psychologist, but he never used it. We had to move when he accidentally slipped up and ate one of the students on the campus.

I debated over the idea. I trusted Jasper with Bella more than another fellow or woman. We couldn't have a human psychologist; I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to sit in a room with a delicious smelling human for a couple hours talking about your problems; when the problem was you sitting in the room with the human. Jasper would be able to help Bella in more ways than one. He could feel what Bella felt; that would make his understanding of the situation better than any normal human could.

"Would Jasper want to do something like that? It could take years," I murmured mostly to myself, but Carlisle heard me and answered.

"We would have to talk to him, of course, but I have a feeling that he would be willing to help you out. Bella is now apart of the family, and we all pitch in when someone in the family needs help," I nodded and knew that Alice would be sending Jasper our way in a couple minutes. Sometimes it was very helpful to have a future seer in the family.

Not five minutes later a very haggard looking Jasper came into the clearing looking pissed off and frustrated. "There better be a real fucking good reason why Alice sent me this way when we were in the middle of a very pleasurable experience", Jasper said gruffly as he plopped down on the ground in front of Carlisle and I.

I chuckled quietly to myself as the scene he was complaining about flashed in his head. He was pounding himself into Alice who was keening and moaning in pleasure, her growls vibrating the trees, and just when they were about to come Alice pushed him off and ordered him to come talk to me and Carlisle. Alice pushed Jasper until he slid out of her and then as Jasper sat on the ground staring in disbelief as Alice gathered her clothes and left.

I shook my head and flashed Jasper and sympathetic smile and then pointed to his shirt. He had buttoned his shirt wrong and it was crooked. Jasper looked down at his shirt and with an embarrassed face, re-buttoned his shirt. Carlisle just sat and watched Jasper with amusement plain on his face. He shook his head and then decided to break the silence.

"Jasper, would you be willing to help Bella?" Carlisle said, pulling both Jasper and I back into the real world.

Wariness flashed on his face, "What would I have to do?" he said quietly. Jasper's mind was quiet as he waited for the reply.

"I need Bella to talk to someone, but obviously a human psychologist is out of the question. I know that you have a degree in psychology so I was wondering if you would be willing to talk with Bella, and help her overcome her fears," I said in a quiet voice when Carlisle wouldn't reply. I was rather embarrassed that I had to ask for someone to help my mate. She shouldn't even need help.

I felt shame at those thoughts. I knew that it was just my protective side talking, but still, my mate needed help and I should be willing to go to the moon and back to help her. I will be asking you about those emotions later on, Edward. Jasper said as he shot me a confused expression.

I nodded my consent and then waited for Jasper to reply. He was thinking about how dangerous it could potentially be for himself and Bella. Bella didn't trust him, but she trusted him and Alice the most out of everyone. He wondered if it would cause a problem between him and Alice, and then he wondered if I would get angry at him for helping her. He knew that I would try to control the jealously and angry that was sure to fill my veins, but I would eventually snap. When Bella would be pulled into a flashback or have a trigger during a flashback, I would reek havoc on all that were near me. I wouldn't be able to be anywhere near Jasper and Bella during a session much less my family.

But Bella needed help. She needed someone that she trusted, ever if was only a little. Jasper would himself leaning towards helping his new sister. She needed to know that she could trust him, and that he would do everything in his power to make sure that the rest of her life was spent peacefully.

"Yes, I will do it," was all that Jasper said. Carlisle and I didn't need any more explanation.

I gave Jasper and grateful smile. Things were starting to look up. Bella was improving slowly, but surely everyday. Jasper would make sure that the triggers and flashbacks happened less often. And finally Bella's story would be told to someone in the family. A bonus in all this was that Bella and mine's sex life was starting to kick up. The need to claim my mate was becoming unbearable. Sooner rather than later, I was going to have to claim her to make sure that no one else tried to take her away. No vampire dared take a claimed mate.

We all stood up and started in the direction of the house all lost in our own thoughts. Jasper was busy thinking about how he would like to start the sessions and when he would start them. Carlisle was thinking about what he had to do at work and how he would get me away from the house when the sessions with Jasper were starting. And I was thinking about my mate. I wondered how she was doing with Esme and what they did while I was gone.

I found myself breaking into a jog. For some reason my body was pulling me forward. A need to get home now was becoming apparent. I shot Jasper a confused expression while he looked at me with wide eyes. I tried to stop myself from going forward, but it was like a rope was tied around my waist. I dug my heels into the ground and bared my teeth.

What the fuck do you think you are doing? Jasper exclaimed in my head. That is your mate calling you! Bella needs you! The minute that Jasper said my mate was calling me, I shot off like a rocket.

I made it to the house in record time. My body pulled my up the stairs to my room. I threw open the door and felt my eyes go wide. Bella or someone had destroyed every single possession in my room. It was a complete disaster. My bed was on its side, the covers in shreds, while feathers lightly dusted the carpet around the area. My stereo was in pieces and thrown into the corner, while my cds were crushed. Clothes that had been stored in my closet were scattered all about the room, hanging on my broken lamp which once sat by my bed on a nightstand. The nightstand had been thrown out of the window and was currently residing in Esme's flower bed. My couch was split open, the cushioning coming out of it like lava. Shoes, books, and paper were scattered across every open space on the floor. It looked like a tornado had come through my room. The one thing that I cared about in the room wasn't there though.

I spun around and listened for any movement in the house. There was only dead silence. I growled and felt the anger rise inside me. Where was my mate? Automatically I lowered myself into a predator position and breathed in deeply. My instincts clouded my thoughts as I lost control of my sanity. I let the pull to my mate guide me as I raced out of the house and towards the forest.

I didn't see anything as I flew through the forest; I only concentrated on finding my mate who was distressed and angry. I roared in fury as I caught the scent of my mate with two other very familiar scents. My eyes darkened further as I shoved a tree out of my way and charged into a clearing. I hissed and crouched low when I caught sight of my mate being restrained by a burly looking vampire and a blonde haired one.

My arms spread out to my side in a claw like formation as I started to walk towards my mate who was whimpering in pain and fear. She reached out with her hand, begging me to come and save her; I growled low in my throat trying to let her know that she was safe. I would save her. Her wide eyes locked with my wild ones and she purred in response to my growl of reassurance. I didn't know if she was trying to let me know that she was okay or if she was trying to calm me down. She took one step in my direction, obviously wanting to be by my side, but the burly vampire stopped her with a quick pull on her arm. My mate flinched in pain and whimpered again. I felt venom flood my mouth and start to run down my chin.

I finally broke. I launched myself across the length of the clearing, my eyes completely black and my sanity thrown out the window. I roared in fury and watched with satisfaction as the two vampires looked at each other with concern written on their faces. They weren't going to survive this. I would make sure of that.

Just as I was about to level the burly haired vampire something slammed into the side of me and pinned me down. I roared in fury and snapped my teeth at its neck. They were keeping me from my mate and I was not happy. With a quick shove I overpowered the vampire above me and lowered my mouth to ripe its head off. I sank my teeth into the vampire's neck and released the venom that had gathered in my mouth, and just as I was about to jerk the head, I was hit with a wave of lethargy. My jaw dropped down and the piece of flesh that I had taken hold of was released from my steel jaw. I slumped down onto the vampire. I couldn't move a muscle.

I hadn't been this tired since I was a human. My eyelids started to droop even though the male inside me was roaring and thrashing with anger at the thought of giving up.

The vampire pushed me off and I fell onto my back with a thump. My head slumped to the side as I tried to force my eyelids to stay open so I could see my mate. My hand twitched as I saw her standing, being held back by the burly vampire. The last thought that flashed through my mind was that I had failed her and myself.

I hope that you liked the chapter.

In order for this story to continue, I have to have a beta reader.. I simply do not have the time anymore to re-read my work to find my mistakes when I usually don't find all of them anyways. If you want to be my beta than please PM me! I am giving y'all the option first.. So if you want it then jump on it! *start spinning in circles with hand in air singing the song*

Okay so 97 of you have this story on alert and 70 have it favorited.. Give me a review! Come on people! I need a pick me up... Please!

See you sometime in the future (isn't that reassuring...haha)

Recs of the week are:

How to Turn a Straight Guy Gay by Lou-La - www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6123426/1/

Gives You Hell by azzie adams - www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4843070/1/

Hit by Destiny by ocdmess - www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5463682/1/

You can also find these stories on my favorites list!

Don't forget about the beta... No beta, no story!