Chapter Ten

Matt slid into bed next to Julie and put an arm around her. She shifted in her sleep. He took his arm away and rolled over so that he wouldn't wake her, but a minute later, Henry did. The baby started crying in the pack n' play next to them, and when Julie sat up, Matt put a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down. "It's a'right. I'll get him."

He rose and took Henry out of the pack n' play. He bounced him up and down with a soft, "Shhhhh…."

"Bring him here, Matt. He probably wants to eat."

"Didn't the book say not to feed him? That way we can get past the middle of the night feeding. If you just keep doing it - "

"I don't care what the book says. It puts him back to sleep. And that's the only way I get back to sleep."

Matt handed Henry to Julie and she cradled him, though he was getting a little too big to hold comfortably. Matt sat down next to her bed and stroked his son's head while he ate.

"What was my dad yelling about awhile ago?" Julie asked. "It woke me up. For about five seconds. Then I fell right back to sleep."

"Uh…I think maybe he and your mom were having a fight."

Julie turned and looked sleepily in his direction. "About the pretty young co-ed who's been hitting on him?"

Matt chuckled. "No. About the distinguished old Dr. Tate who was hitting on your mom."

Julie rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Dr. Tate? That guy's like…ten years older than my Mom."

"Like that makes a difference at their age?"

"He's nowhere near as good-looking as my dad."

"Yeah…well…but he ain't ugly either. And she was really laughing and smiling at him when we walked in. And I don't think your dad was too thrilled."

"Well, I could tell he was attracted to her at dinner just by the way he was looking at her, but I don't think my mom was flirting with him. She was just being her. You know, Ms. Sociable. Did they make up, my mom and dad?"

"I don't know. I just crawled in bed like five minutes ago. I guess they're still out there. I don't hear them yelling at least."

Just then the sound of Coach Taylor hollering "To hell with it!" rose and lingered in the otherwise seemingly silent house.

"Or maybe they're just on the other side of the house so we can only hear it when they get really loud," Julie said with a tight smile. She'd heard her parents bicker before, sometimes lovingly, sometimes not. They usually stopped the moment she walked in the room and pretended everything was okay, talking to her instead of each other, a wall of tension between them. But they always made up.

Julie had always hated it when they fought, but she had also appreciated that they seemed to respect each other enough to accept that there would be conflict and differences of opinion. They loved each other enough to compromise and to forgive and to move on. And yet… she'd never before heard her father yell at her mom quite like he just now had – sounding as if he wasn't just mad at some situation he thought she'd mishandled, some annoyance, some obstacle they hadn't agreed how to tackle - but at her. Like maybe there was something else behind his anger that didn't have anything at all to do with what they were fighting about right now.

Matt slid a little closer to Julie and wrapped his arm around her. "I'm so glad we don't fight like that."

Julie shrugged. "Oh, they'll be alright. They always are." She was reassuring herself, not him. "I mean, that's so not our style. If you and I were yelling at each other like that, I would be terrified. But with them…okay…maybe I'm a little worried, but I'm pretty sure they'll be fine."

Julie slid Henry from underneath her shirt and handed him to Matt. "He's asleep." Matt took the baby gently and returned him to the pack n' play. He slid back under the covers and Julie cuddled up to him. "I don't like fighting," Matt said. "I don't like arguing with people. Because if I argue, then I might get mad, and if I get mad… I feel like… maybe I wouldn't be able to control it. So I'd rather just not deal with things sometimes…but…I know that's not good either."

He could feel Julie's body become tense against his. "I guess not," she said.

"Julie, do you really want to move to New York? Because I really want to. This is a great job offer, and it's a great city, and there's an even better art scene than Chicago, and I'll probably get in more galleries, but if you don't want to, we don't have to." When she didn't say anything, he asked again, "Do you want to move?"

"No," Julie muttered. "But why should it be up to me? You're the one with the career."

"It shouldn't be up to you. It should be up to us."

Julie, now clearly agitated, sat up. "But how can it be? How can it be up to us if we want different things? One of us has to give. So isn't it easier if I just give and we don't fight about it? Because otherwise you'll just give and then you're going to resent me and think I don't support you."

"Maybe neither of us has to give. Maybe…I donna know. Maybe we could draw up a list or something with all the pros and cons of both places, and then maybe when both of us sees it, maybe one of us will change our minds."

Julie looked down at her hands. She nodded. "You know what? You know what? That's not a bad idea. Maybe we should try that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow, though, because I have got to get back to sleep." She flopped back down on the bed and rolled over.

"A'right. Good night, Julie." He lay down with his back pressed against hers. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "And thanks, Matt. Thanks for really caring about what I want."

He didn't respond. She knew it wasn't because he was asleep. It was because he didn't know how to. She kicked him playfully. "Good night," she said, and then she yawned, and in moments, she was asleep.