A/N Hey guys Thanks for all the reviews and stuffs. You guys rock! This chapter was hard for me to write. You'll see about halfway through until the end why….

As soon as I saw Carlos go down, I didn't even care anymore. Any rationality was replaced by panic and the drive to save my best friend. I ran out on the ice and got down on my belly, scooting towards the edge where Carlos had gone down, ignoring how the ice creaked dangerously. I was careful not to make any sudden movement, but all I could think about was Carlos. Some part of me thought that he would pop up any moment now, cold and shaken, but alive. He was a strong swimmer. It only took me a second to realize he was not coming back up.

I ripped my coat and shoes off in a quick motion, knowing I would need some dry clothes after we emerged, and also the heavy clothing would only drag me down. I guess I had kept some rational thinking way in the back of my brain, but not enough to keep me from diving into the water to rescue Carlos.

The freezing temperatures struck me hard, shocking all the breath out of me. It was dark in the water, like an endless black abyss. I could only rely on my instincts to find Carlos. I forced my eyes open and the water stung my eyes like a million tiny icicles, but I saw a dark form floating in the water. I swam to it and latched onto it with my arms. I wanted to cry with relief that I had at least found Carlos, but I had several other problems now. He was heavy and unmoving, so I had no idea if he was even alive. I was weak and exhausted and running out air. It was so cold I could barely even think. I swam up towards where I came from, but everything looked the same, just black.

My lungs burned and agony filled my mind. I refused to let my last breath go, for Carlos' sake, but my hope was dwindling. I didn't want to die here, in some lake in the middle of nowhere, never to be found again. But I could not take this water very much longer.

With my last bit of strength, I pushed up to what I hoped would be salvation, but the top of my head collided roughly with something solid. I hardly felt it though, as I was in so much pain already. But at least I was at the top.

My eyes searched frantically for the hole I dove through as I clutched Carlos like a cold, wet rag doll. He was still and lifeless and something told me he was dead already, he had to be. But that didn't stop me from looking for an escape from the icy deathtrap that threatened to kill us both. I wouldn't let it kill us, not after everything we had been through.

Stars danced along my vision as I felt for an opening. My skull felt like it was going to be crushed any moment, and my panic was being replaced by the simple, desperate need for the pain to go away. What would be the point, anyway? Carlos was surely dead, we wouldn't be able to survive outside of the water anymore then when we were submerged. Trying to survive only meant more pain.

As the morbid thoughts danced across my delirious mind, my fingers finally found… Nothing. Cold air swept across the numb skin, no longer being blocked by the endless sheet of ice. I couldn't believe it. I had found it, our one escape.

Any thoughts of death were gone now. First I heaved Carlos through the hole, than I climbed out after him, collapsing beside my best friend. I coughed up what seemed like a gallon of freezing, murky water, creating burning sensations as it poured out of my nose and mouth.

I thought I would have to perform CPR on Carlos, but to my surprise, he began choking on his own, without my help. I rolled him onto his side as water poured out of his mouth. I wanted to whisper encouragement to him, but all that came out was coughs and more water.

Carlos was clutching something white in the palm of his frozen little hands as he hacked, still unconscious. I pried his frozen fingers apart which-I realized with horror- were an odd shade of pale blue, and removed the drenched ball of feathers from his hand. Sugar stared up at me with eyes as black as the water that almost took our lives. Unfortunately, Sugar had not been as lucky as Carlos and I. The fact that Carlos was so attached to the tiny but sweet creature was what caused me to sob as I threw the owl back into the water, knowing that Carlos could never bear to stand seeing his new pet had died.

"Juh-Jam-"

"Ssh," I said softly, and I was surprised how much strength it took just to try to speak. Tears flooded my eyes as Carlos looked up at me, his chest moving up and down with effort. He was awake, dazed and scared, but alive. I sobbed with relief, silently thankful that I had not given up while I was under the ice, because that would have been a decision that killed us both. I was shivering violently but despite that, I grabbed my coat and Carlos and moved us away from the thin ice, back to shore. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, Carlos toppling over with me. I nearly squished him, but his shaking arms wrapped listlessly around my waist. I knew I couldn't move anymore, I was too weak. I literally had nothing left in me. So I wrapped my heavy coat around our soaking wet bodies and hugged Carlos to my chest. His eyes were dull and dark and his face-even his lips- were the most disturbing blueish-gray color I had ever seen.

Words were void, we only clung to each other for warmth, but our body heat was already so low, that it didn't really help any. I saw Carlos staring at the gray smoke in the distance, our only hope for help so close yet unreachably far away. There was no way either of us could make it there. The smoke was probably several miles away.

"F-fire," Carlos stuttered under his breath.

"Wh-what baby?" I asked, putting my ear against his cold mouth. Even his breath was cold.

"F-fuh-fire," Carlos repeated.

"I can't," I told him. I couldn't move anymore. We would need a fire. But I could not find firewood, not now. I just couldn't. "I-I'm sorry, Carlos," I said with a sob. Carlos just buried his face in my neck, silently understanding. If I could just warm up a bit, I could get start a fire. But right now, the only thing I really could do was lie there, frozen in shock and waiting for sleep to come. We were both sopping wet, and I knew we would not last very much longer like that, so I removed Carlos' coat and thermals and undressed my top half as well, then wrapped ourselves up in my coat. We both had lost an alarming amount of weight, so the large coat was able to zip around the both of us snuggly, almost like a sleeping bag. Carlos's back was pressed tightly to my chest and my arms were wrapped protectively around his waist.

"C-can we sleep for a bit?" Carlos asked, a cough wracking his poor body. I rubbed his chest to comfort him.

"Yeah, let's go to sleep," I said, and I was thankful Carlos wasn't facing me so he couldn't see the tears in my eyes. This was it, I knew it. Deep in my gut, I knew that our journey was over. I felt despair, don't get me wrong, but at the same time, it was kind of a peaceful feeling. No more pain, no more surprises. We could finally lie down and rest. "Morning won't be so far now, Carlitos. Pretty soon, the sun will be shining so bright. We'll be warm again. We'll be warm again soon. No more cold. Just warmth. You won't be sick anymore, either."

Carlos was crying now. His fingers intertwined with mine, and his grip was so weak, it was like it was hardly there. I rubbed his fingers soothingly, hoping to warm them up.

"Tell me it will be okay," Carlos whispered shakily. "It won't hurt, right?"

"It won't hurt because I'll hold you through it," I said. I still rubbed circles on his chest and pressed my nose to his hair. I realized this was the last time I could ever hold him, ever smell his hair. "I'll never let go. Go to sleep now. I gotcha, baby. I gotcha."

I tightened my grip around Carlos, willing his violent shivering to go away. I wished I could take this all away. All I knew was that Carlos couldn't suffer anymore, it wasn't fair. If God's plans did not involve us on this earth, then so be it. I just did not want Carlos to be in pain anymore. Maybe, by some chance, some miracle we would survive the night. But I had literally lost all hope. It was the strangest feeling, to give up hope. To actually want to die.

"Sugar doesn't hurt anymore, right?" Carlos asked. His voice was heavy with sleep.

"No, honey, Sugar doesn't hurt. His wing is all better, and he can fly and soar wherever he wants now," I assured Carlos. He gave a tiny nod of his head and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

"I'll see you in the morning, brother," Carlos said, and he was amazingly calm. "With the sunshine." I allowed a small smile to creep on my face and nuzzled my face into his shoulder.

"With the sunshine," I said. "Tons of it." Carlos' eyelids fluttered shut.

As soon as Carlos' breathing evened out, I began to sob. They were the most violent sobs I had ever endured. My entire body quaked and it felt like my head was caving in as tears poured from my eyes. I knew Carlos was going to leave me soon, and I just couldn't bear it. Nobody prepares you for your best friend dying in your arms. All I could do was sob. I didn't want him to go. I wanted his pain to go away, but I didn't want him to go. I would never see his smile again, or comfort him after a nightmare or watch how absolutely elated and excited he was after a concert. I missed it so much. I missed how happy he was and how after the longest day, he always seemed to make everything okay. He was a handful sometimes, like an annoying little brother, but he was my handful.

"I'll miss you," I squeaked in Carlos' ears as my loud sobs echoed through the wilderness. I felt like my middle was being torn apart from the inside, as slowly as could be. It was agonizing and I would rather be under that frozen lake again then have to go through this, as long as Carlos would be okay. I would jump into that lake if I knew Carlos would live.

"Please hold on, Carlos. I can save us," I cried. I wondered if I could make it to the smoke in time? Maybe I could save us. Maybe I wasn't ready to give up yet…

I went to get on my hands and knees to take off the coat, but I collapsed before I was even on my knees. I couldn't lift my body off the ground. I groaned and sobbed. It hurt so much.

Carlos' hand gripped mine again. I froze. Was he awake?

"James… Stay. You promised," Carlos said, his voice full of desperation. "Don't leave me…" Carlos rolled over, so he was lying on my chest. I held him as if he were a baby and kissed his head.

"Okay, 'Litos. I won't leave you. I'm right here. Ssh, don't cry…"

Carlos whimpered and fell back to sleep. I leaned my head back and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, no sign of anymore storms at least. The stars were bright silver. I wished Carlos could see them. He loved the stars. They took his breath away every time he saw them. Sometimes, I would find him on the roof of the Palmwoods, staring at the sky at night. He would fall asleep up there, and I would have to carry him down to bed so he didn't catch cold.

I thought of all the sweetest moments I had shared with Carlos, as well as Logan and Kendall. God, I missed them so much. I wanted just one more chance to give them all hugs, so I could say goodbye and tell them I am okay. How far were they from me? Or maybe, by some twisted joke, they were closer than I thought. We were all just looking in all the wrong spots, missing each other by just moments and inches.

Eventually, Carlos stopped shivering. I knew that was a bad sign. It meant he had severe hypothermia. His breathing was short and his pulse was slow. His chest rose and fell weakly, too slowly. He was slipping away.

"You're doing great buddy," I whispered. He was holding on so tightly. He was stronger than me, I think. He wasn't ready to give up. I prayed to God endlessly that he would give him the strength to make it through the night, until salvation came. But the odds were against us, no matter how hard either of us fought to hang on. Carlos lay lifeless in my arms. His pale skin was nearly as white as the snow below us and his lips were blue. You didn't have to be a genius to know that any healthy person should never look this way, especially when that person was supposed to be a tan, vibrant Latino. I didn't want to know if he was alive or not. I couldn't bring myself to check. I just held him and rocked his tiny body as tears rolled out of my eyes and splashed onto his frozen cheeks. I wiped the teardrops away with my thumb, my calloused skin running gently over his smooth, cold cheekbones. I was disillusioned to think he would ever be able to survive through the night, not after what he had been through, but I couldn't ignore that glimmer of hope that sparked warm in my belly, despite the fact that I was close to hypothermia. Carlos wouldn't die on me, not here in this desolate, eerie place. Not when he was this scared and ill. I wouldn't allow it, and God surely wouldn't allow it, would he? Carlos was the one who was supposed to be protected and sheltered. He was nothing more than an innocent boy. He was little Carlos Garcia, boy of chubby cheeks and perpetual innocence. He was my baby brother, and nothing would ever happen to him on my watch. Maybe some would say I was in denial, already in a stage of mourning, because to anybody on the outside looking in it would seem that it would be nearly impossible for Carlos to live, that it would even take a miracle to survive something like that.

"I'm sorry. Nothing was supposed to happen to you." I said, placing my ear on Carlos' heart. It was so distant and slow. It would be a matter of minutes now. "I'm so sorry. I can't hold on any longer," I whispered. I was so cold, but somehow comfortable with Carlos nestled in my arms. I was thinking of being onstage with my boys again. Those were the best moments of my life, and with those dreams running pleasantly through my mind, spreading phantom warmth through my frozen body, I closed my eyes for the last time.

A/N THE END. Just kidding. This actually has one, maybe two chappies left to it! I'm so happy I am actually finishing a story! That's rare for me and I'm proud. Um tell me how heartbroken/sad/angry/skdgnjeiohjenij you are in a review over this chapter! I won't give out the ending though ;) Um I have to go get my tragus re-pierced, because it pushed out halfway during the night while I was sleeping and now it's half lodged in there. This will be a painful evening. :'( wish me luck. Love you guys and reviews are unicorns!