Interludium: Mitsuru

"Father... where have I erred?"

"Erred? You haven't erred, Mitsuru. The fault is all mine. The blame is all mine. The shame is all mine. Wasn't that what you told them all? Wasn't that what you told her?"

"Such a hot-headed girl, I read her right since I saw her for the first time." Said I, incredulous.

"She is utterly dissonant with your own calm personality, Mitsuru. Yet, you couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"That would be impossible." Uttered I, ashamedly.

"It would be." Mocked he. "They said the exact same thing when your grandfather proclaimed we'd prospered on our own after Kei became the heir. It was possible. We prospered." Stated he.

"Grandfather was mad throughout his whole life."

Father smiled. "He knew it. And enjoyed it. By the way, we've successfully fused Ideal Energy and the Plume of Dusk into one." My brows shot up in surprise. "We're testing it in the newer model."

"What about Kegare?" Asked I.

He slowly shook his head in denial. "Kegare is still only functional in inanimate objects. And every attempt to harmonise it with Plumes of Dusk was unsuccessful. They corrupted and canceled each other."

I sighed. "How unfortunate. So our only hope is on the android, eh? It's disheartening when we remember it already failed once."

He lowly cackled. "Have some faith in Ikutsuki, he's brilliant."

"About The Chairman... are you sure it's wise to grant him complete control over the project? From what I heard, not even Kei..."

"Don't question my decisions, Mitsuru, not yet." Interrupted he. "Maybe in a decade or so when I make you head, but for now, I deal with the business."

Deciding against pressing him any further, I conceded. "As you wish, father."

He inhaled. "I think it's time. Call them."

I nodded and left the room.

-/-

"So that means... my dad caused it all...? The Dark Hour, Tartarus... The people who died in that incident... It was all his fault...?" Yukari trembled.

"Y-You okay?" Asked Akihiko.

Yukari turned to me with fury in her eyes. "So that's why you were hiding this...? Because you felt sorry for me? Is that it!?" Shouted she.

Once again, it seemed I was the source of Yukari's anger. "No, Yukari, I..." I tried to rebut it, but I hadn't the words.

Tears formed on the edges of her eyes. "I don't want your pity!"

She ran outside.

Everyone was silent, a mix of sadness and worry on their faces. Minako, specifically kept glancing left and right, as if preparing to make a move. She inhaled sharply and turned around. I stopped her by uttering: "Wait. I... I must fix this."

I went outside.

Yukari was standing on the sand beach. The sea before her hurled and rose and fell. Intermittently. Irregularly. Disorderly. But it being so distant and wide, it being so natural and wild, it brought along with the water and the salt and the oysters, peace.

It was just the sea, after all, it had been there for years, and it would remain there for years to come and to go. It was immutable, in this chaotic and ever-changing world, the sea was forever the same. And its effect was calming. At least, to me.

"It's not pity." Spoke I. Her frame tensed, but she didn't turn around. "It's about your future. It's about passing down memories." My steps were silent in the sand, so I walked forward. "Do you think I enjoy telling people about my crazy grandpa who almost destroyed the world?"

Yukari scoffed. "It's always about you, isn't it?" I halted at her words. "Either way, I'm not angry because of that. I'm angry because she was right." Said she, sorrowfully. "You lie and invent reasons for people to fight." Accused she. "You force and distress people into believing they are the salvation of this world." She continued, angrily. "Who doesn't want to be a hero?" Muttered she.

Making sense of the situation, I resumed my approaching. "She... This 'she' is Minako isn't it? Are you friends with her now?"

"So what if I am?"

I was lost in the myriad of possibilities. "I... never thought this would... When I told you to stay close to her in Tartarus, I never imagined..."

"That we would bond? That her pacifist poison might seep into me?" Uttered she, raspily. "What do you care?" Asked she. "To you, we're just more victims of the Kirijo business model!" Said she, furiously. "Just more shame to be swept under the rug!"

"I truly don't think like that, Yukari." I tried to keep calm, unsuccessfully. "There's a reason why I'm with you all!" I felt my lungs stinging. "Why I go on Tartarus with everyone! And why I risk my life alongside all of you!" My throat felt clogged. "Especially you..." Whispered I.

She turns abruptly and finds herself standing mere inches from me. She gasps in surprise and falls down on the sand. Her eyes pierce me in disbelief.

I will myself to bend my knees and fall forwards, I stop my fall by hitting the sand with my open palms. My body now hovers hers, my head inclined towards hers, my eyes peering into hers.

"I fail in everything I do. I fail when I try to get close to you. I fail when I try to protect you. I fail when I try to comfort you. I fail when I try to confess to you. Tell me what to do, Yukari. Tell me how to become a person whom you don't hate."

She slapped my cheek. I kept facing right.

"You saying I hate everyone?" Asked she, unnerved. "It isn't true." Added she, calmer.

"I didn't mean..."

"I know what you meant. I just want you to tell me one thing." She waited. I turned my face back to her and held her gaze. "Why me?" She plainly asked. Her face devoid of anger, or any other emotion.

I felt moistening around my eyes. "Would it be too narcissistic if I said it's because we are so much alike?" Whispered I. "And would it be too contradictory if I said it's because we are so incompatible?" I smiled unconsciously. "I just feel all tingly when I see you, Yukari." My tears finally trailed down my face. "I can't explain." I frowned.

She showed a sad expression as well. She closed her eyes and whispered: "Hold me."

I pierced the sand with my arm and pressed her body to mine as I sat up and placed my head beside her neck. She rested hers on my shoulder.

After a few moments, I whispered: "I'm sorry."

"I know." Said she. "I'm sorry, too."

She jumped when she heard the noise from my wristwatch. I was startled by it as well.

"What the hell!?" Uttered she.

"Oh, sorry about that, it's my Dark Hour alarm." Said I, standing up. "It will start in five minutes, we better go back inside." I extended my hand to her.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion, then chuckled lightly and grabbed my hand. "Dark Hour alarm... that's so... so you..." A chagrined smile.

I looked down, suddenly becoming self-conscious and noticed I was still holding her hand. I didn't want to let go. I didn't know what had happened tonight, if anything at all happened, but I knew I didn't want to part with her yet. Alas, she motioned it back and I let go instinctively. I turned my gaze back to her and noticed her aware look.

"We'll talk tomorrow." Said she, seriously.

I swallowed hard. "Good idea." I nodded.

She started off towards the house. I quickly ran my hand through my face and learned my tears had dried off. I inhaled deeply and marched towards the house. I passed beside Yukari but didn't glance her way. I swallowed again as I felt saliva accumulating in my mouth due to nervousness. I contorted my facial nerves back to my usual expression and steadied my breathing to normal levels.

I'd show all of myself to Yukari, I'd scream and plead and cry, I'd be flustered and angry and sad, I'd swear my undying love to her how many times were necessary, I'd giggle and I'd grin to her, for her. But not anyone else.

To everyone else, I'd still be Mitsuru Kirijo. That's what it means to be heir. That's what it means to be me.