Terribly sorry for the late update! My excuse: mom was on vacation and I (still) have an icky blood blister on my finger :( Thank you Jesus.Lives for beta reading :)

Chapter Ten

It's been awhile since I've felt this happy for this long. It's been two weeks since I went to church with Miley for the first time, and ever since I've been good… if I wasn't happy some days, I was at least content. No more crazy depressions and crying myself to sleep at night. I have even started talking to God on a regular basis. He may not talk back, but at least He listens, which is more than I can say about some people.

Right now I'm the beach with Miley and Oliver. I invited Sam, but she said she had to go take a course at college. It was a little disappointing, because I really would like for Miley and Sam to become friends too. Guess you can't always get what you want.

Miley is teasing Oliver right now. I think something about his hair, but I'm not really listening. I'm thinking of how quickly things have changed for me. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that my parents were still married and everything was kind of "happy". It was once the fights started getting real bad in their marriage that things slowly started getting depressing. And then, they divorced and I pretty much never saw my dad after he moved out. I sunk into a hole that I escaped from sometimes. Now, I'm completely out of the hole. There were so many emotions and so much changing in such a short time. And although I recognize that all this happened in a short time, I feel old. Like years have passed by and I'm starting a whole new life.

"Lilly, am I right?" I hear Miley finally being woken out of my thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

"See, she's on my side." Oliver smiles at me.

"No, she's not."

"Yes, she is!"

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" I interrupt their fight.

"Doesn't he have big eyelashes for guy?" Miley asks.

"Does it matter?" I say, and then look at Oliver eyes. It's true, right now his eyelashes do look big, but I think it's because he was in the water and they're wet.

"Ah-hah! She is on my side" Oliver declares.

"I'm not on anybody's side." I say and get up.

"Where are you going?" Miley asks.

"Over to Rico's. I'm starved."

As we head over to Rico's, Miley whispers to me, "I really should be nicer to him. I kind of feel guilty."

"Guilty?" I ask, "It's just Oliver. We always pick on him."

"It's not really nice though." Miley's sudden concern confuses me, but my stomach is growling too much for me to care.

When I get home, everything is empty and dark. I see a note from my mom:

Lilly,

Chad called me back! Can you believe it? We have a date tonight.

I wont be home until late, so don't stay up. I have lasagna in the fridge.

Love,

Mom.

I want to smile at the note and feel happy for my mom, but I fear things will start going back to the way they were: empty. I take the note and throw it in the trash. I make my way to the fridge and pull out the lasagna. I can smell the sauce, cheese, and meat. My stomach growls again. I scoop out a rather large serving and put it on a plate and into the microwave. Two minutes will do, I think.

As the plate spins around, I feel that familiar sadness sneaking up on me. I feel scared too, because I don't want to feel sad again. I'm sick of the pain. The phone rings and I rush to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." Miley says.

"Oh, hey!"

"I was just calling because Hannah got invited to the movie premiere for that new romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore."

"Really? I can come?"

"Of course, silly! It's next week."

"That's so awesome!"

"It is. Lola and Hannah will have to go shopping in LA before the premiere."

"Have I ever told you how much I love Hannah?"

"Funny. So, how are you?"

"Okay, I guess. Mom's not home." I sigh.

"Where is she? At work?

"No. A date."

"You don't sound too thrilled."

"I don't know. I guess when this house is empty, I feel emptyand I'm sad and I don't want to be. Miley, I really don't want to be depressed again."

"I don't mean to go all 'Christian' on you, and I will talk to you and give you different advice too, but when I feel sad like that." Miley feels like that? "I talk to God."

The microwave goes off. "Thank you for the advice, Miley. I gotta go get my dinner now. Talk to you tomorrow!"

I take my lasagna to my room and sit it on my bed. I grab my new Bible I bought a few days ago. It's a different translation that Mileys, but it's much easier for me to read and understand. I read a few random verses and took a few bites of lasagna. Then I feel something different – there's a lump developed in my throat from my sadness and I decide I should take Miley's advice.

"God," I whisper, "I'm so sad." before I continue I feel tears running down my eyes and this warm feeling flow through me. "I don't want to be...but I'm just...Well, I don't really know. I get lonely sometimes."

I cry and pray for a whole hour until finally, it seems the pain starts to fade. And something occurs to me...that even though this house is empty and sometimes it seems like my life is, that doesn't mean I have to be empty. I can let God continue to fill that hole of mine and find a way to bring light into my life. I don't have to always be sad. I know that doesn't mean I won't ever get sad again. But it does mean I'll have a better way to cope with these emotions.

"Thank you God" I whisper one last time and dry my eyes off before my mom gets home from her date.