Chapter 10

"Phoebe," Flynn greeted. "How are you?" She shrugged.

"Alright, I guess." She knew he was going to ask her about the other night when she disappeared to her grandparents because she wasn't supposed to have an appointment today. In fact her next appointment was supposed to be next Monday after school since next Sunday marked the anniversary of Ana's death. Their appointments were mostly once every two weeks and Phoebe had been sitting in this office last week. Flynn just looked at her realising she wasn't going to say anything else.

"Ok, Phoebe. Why don't you tell me what happened this week that required this appointment. Your dad sounded worried over the phone." Phoebe sighed.

"I just got frustrated on Wednesday. I needed a break and space, is that so much to ask for?" she tried.

"No it's not but you don't normally try the disappearing act. If you need space you often tell your dad where you're going. So why don't you tell me why you didn't tell anyone where you were going?" He already knew the answer but she needed to say it. She sighed again.

"One of the SUV's broke down so I was going to school with Ava this week. Well, after Wednesday anyway. The morning was fine it was after we got back to Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot's. They were arguing about mom and dad. Apparently it's a normal thing. They were really laying into each other and getting louder with each they spat out." She paused and Flynn encouraged her to go on. "Kate said some crap about mom being disappointed in dad. She said something about all the security and how he's over paranoid. I don't know, but I've never heard anyone talk about dad like that and I didn't like it. All I could think about was getting out of there and the next thing I knew I was breaking down in my grandmother's arms." Tears started falling down her cheeks. Flynn handed her a box of tissues and she gratefully took one.

"Why did you decide to go with Ava to school then? Couldn't you have gone with your brothers in the other SUV?"

"I did Monday and Tuesday but they were arguing and it was driving me insane! So I asked dad about driving over to Ava's and going with her. Aunt Kate didn't have a problem but behind closed doors dad is so irresponsible for letting me drive over there on my own, even though security was following me."

"Ok. So what happened after you got to your grandparents house?"

"I broke down crying. Everything was getting to me and I couldn't take it anymore."

"What things were getting to you?"

"You want the list?" he nodded. "Well, the boys constantly arguing. Going back to school. Ava's peer pressure of doing the music recital. The new kid in school relentlessly pestering me when I'm trying to get on with my work. Teddy being away again after spending the summer at home. Being the only girl in my house. And to top it all off Aunt Kate starting trouble. I've tried so hard to be strong for everyone, to show them they don't need to keep worrying about me the way they do but I can't do it anymore." She whispered the last part.

"That is quite a list," Flynn said thoughtfully. "Let's go through each point then. Your brothers constantly arguing? I'm afraid there's not a lot to do about that; they're just at that age where that's all they'll do. I remember when my boys were that age. It was a nightmare!" Phoebe giggled slightly. "Going back to school? Again not a lot you can do it just takes a little time to get back into that routine. You've managed it in previous years so I'm sure you'll be fine this year."

"Yeah but every other year wasn't my last year before going off to college. I don't even know where I want to go yet. Go to Harvard or stay nearer to dad."

"That's one decision you'll have to make on your own, I'm afraid Phoebe. No one can choose for you, though I know where your dad would prefer you to be."

"I know where he wants me to go. I don't want to disappoint him," she said almost sadly.

"You could never disappoint your dad over your choice of college. That's if you want to even go. He just wants you to be happy." She nodded. "Let's look at your next point. What was it?" she thought.

"Ava's peer pressure on the music recital," she answered.

"Well, we'll come back to that since that's a whole new conversation. The new kid 'pestering you'? We'll come back to that too. Teddy being away. Tell me about that?"

"What's there to say? We've just had a summer with Teddy being at home and he's had to go back to college for who knows how long? He still has years left training to be a lawyer. I miss him so much I just want him to come home and stay," she had tears falling again. "He's the only one who remembers mom as much as I do and with him being away... I don't know I just feel lost and lonely. It's like the only person who understood me is gone and I don't know when he'll be back."

"That's normal Phoebe. To have someone you love suddenly in your life significantly less can take its toll on anyone. But just remember how you feel when you see him again."

"Overwhelming joy. I love it when he comes home. He'll be home in a few weeks for thanksgiving then he'll be back for Christmas and he'll be staying until the New Year!"

"So it's only when he leaves you feel sad?" She nodded. "As I said that's quite normal for people who has a loved one go off. Just remember he always comes back, Phoebe. He's not gone for good." She nodded in understanding. "Now for you being the only girl; I would have to say you've always felt like that. What was it you said to me a few years ago?"

"I feel so inferior to all the males I'm surrounded by," she quoted herself from when she was about fourteen. "That's something that will never change though. I know Gail is around the house but it's not the same as having a sister or mom being around. Even most of the security are males so that makes me feel weak. Especially since dad is hiring more security."

"What? He's hiring more?" This was news to Flynn. Would he have to have a session with Christian as well? He could retire tomorrow due to the amount he's earning helping nearly all of the Grey family.

"Yeah, something happened and he thinks we need more for everyone. Not that two, or three in my case, per person is enough."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I think anymore than three is going to make me too paranoid to leave the house. But I don't know how to tell him this. He's not always easy to talk to."

"I know that, trust me. Well that's something I'll have to discuss with him when I next have a session with him. Maybe we three could sit down together and maybe discuss hiring some female security for you?"

"That sounds good. If dad's up to it."

"I'll talk to him. Now we're running out of time so let's go through those other points. Your Aunt Kate starting trouble? What do you mean by that?"

"All the arguments she's started about mom and dad. I remember when Aunt Mia had baby Carrick she started an argument over the name. There have been arguments with dad about how he's bringing us up. There was even one time, she tried to take him to court about him being an unfit parent and wanted me in her custody because I need a 'mother figure.'"

"Your Aunt Kate has her own demons she needs to deal with. I saw her earlier today and I'm going to try and help her, obviously though I can't go through any details with you." Phoebe nodded. She already knew Kate had gone to see Flynn.

"She never recovered either did she?" Phoebe asked. Flynn just shook his head and Phoebe knew Kate was acting the way she was because she had never accepted Ana's death.

"Let's quickly go back to the points we skipped. Ava peer pressuring you into doing the music recital?" Phoebe sighed.

"Well, Kathy is going to a funeral on the day of the music recital which means the band is one piano player short. And since I'm the only one who knows the music she wants me to fill in."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Continuously pissed off but I figured if I agreed to help out once, she would shut up about it."

"So you agreed?" this surprised Flynn. Phoebe had done everything she could to avoid playing and listening to music. She had so many happy memories with music but they all involved Ana somehow.

Phoebe nodded and explained how she wanted to try and take the next step to moving on and accepting music back into her life was one way for her to do that. She had never thought about it that way before but after thinking hard about it after she agreed to help Ava, she realised that her cousin was helping her.

"That's good Phoebe. You're acknowledging other ways for you to move on. I know this couldn't have been easy for you, especially since you have been dealing with this from such a young age."

"Not as young as dad was though. Or Nick and James. James doesn't even remember her. It's hard knowing I have all these wonderful memories of mom but he has nothing."

"James may have been very young to remember properly but he probably has his own memories of her. It could something small as remembering her smile. And your dad has pictures of her all over the house, I've heard, and everyone has memories to share with you and the boys about her. You are all luckier than your father was. He had nothing but bad memories and no one to remind him of the good. Though he's faced his demons and that's why he is able to focus on you and your brothers and be the dad he is."

"He's a great dad. I wouldn't him to be anyone else. I just wish Aunt Kate wouldn't put him down so much."

"Like I said earlier, Kate has her own demons to face and until she does, things aren't going to be great between them. Christian is more understanding now he's aware of the situation but, as you know, he can only take so much crap." Phoebe giggled.

"They've never gotten along for as long as I can remember."

"They have never gotten along full stop. Ana told me once they were always at each other's throats, even before she was pregnant with Teddy." She giggled again. "Let's talk about this 'new kid' at school then, shall we?" he raised an eyebrow.

"His names Eric. He's so incredibly annoying but so sweet at the same time. But I can't stand to be near him for too long because he pries into my private life. He kept asking questions about my family and touching my pictures of everyone. He's worse than Ava." She thought about whether to tell Flynn the one thing that's been bugging her since she met Eric Johnston. Flynn could tell she was holding something back.

"What's the matter Phoebe?"

"I feel like I've seen him somewhere before. I swear his face reminds me of someone, but I can't think who." Phoebe was really confused with these thoughts. How could she feel like she'd met him before when she hadn't met him until the first day of school. Flynn didn't have any answers for that either.

"Maybe you had seen him around town before school started?" he suggested. She shook her head.

"No, I feel like I've seen him before but years ago." She shook her head. "Ignore me. It just sounds ridiculous."

"No it doesn't. There could be a hundred reasons why you feel like you've seen him before."

"I suppose. Maybe I dreamt about him, meeting him. He's coming for dinner tonight and he doesn't even know he's having dinner round my house."

"How does that work?"

"He told me he's having dinner round the Grey's house, but he doesn't know I'm a Grey," this interested Flynn and he asked how that was possible. "He never found out in school that my last name is Grey and my Facebook page is set as Phoebe Steele so dad doesn't find out. So dinner is going to be interesting."

"It sounds like it will be. I would love to see the look on that boys face when he sees you," Flynn laughed. He checked his watch; six thirty. Their session was over but Flynn still had one point he wanted to go over. "Phoebe, our session is over for today but next week I want to discuss what you meant by you've 'tried so hard to be strong for everyone, to show them they don't need to keep worrying about you the way they do but you can't do it anymore.'" Phoebe nodded, knowing she would have to explain why she feels the way she does. She went to shake his hand but instead gave him a brief hug. This man had been a great support to her and she considered him more than her therapist; he was more like a friend.

Sawyer, Ryan and Marx were all waiting in the waiting room for her. She frowned and walked over to them.

"What are you all doing here?" she asked. Sawyer explained that Christian had sent them over to make sure she was ok after her session. He knew it was going to be a difficult session for her so he sent security to pick her up and have Marx or Ryan drive her car home. She always felt safest with Sawyer so he would be driving the SUV.

Realising she was exhausted from her session with the good Dr Flynn, she was glad her dad thought of this. She climbed into the back of the SUV and Ryan got in her car driving in the direction of her home. Sawyer and Marx were in the front and she soon fell asleep, though not before she realised this is the first time she was in the car with Sawyer and Marx since that day she went out with Ana.

... ... ...

Ted's Life at Harvard

Teddy hadn't spoken to Sian since Wednesday, when he found out about her getting high behind his back with her ex. Three days of trying to get over this betrayal of his trust in her. The only way he could think of to keep an eye on her was to be with her 24/7 and he didn't know how she would feel about being constantly watched. It was something his father would do. Shit! I haven't called dad. I'm so fucking dead.

Hunting through the apartment he found his phone and dialled his father's number but found that the phone was switched off. He tried Taylor, who told him Christian was at the theatre with Nick and then would be sailing for the afternoon. Ted sighed and didn't know what to do with his day. His two housemates, twin brothers Ali and Ajeshan, were out at work.

Ali and Ajeshan were Asian and were identical twins who were, luckily, very different in personality. If they both stood in front of him and said nothing, the only way Ted could tell them apart was by the way they dress. Ali was more of a sports wear type of person, always wearing sweatpants and sports shirts or hoodies. Ajeshan was always wearing jeans and smart t-shirts. He would also often wear a business suit, similar to Christians, as he worked part-time at a law firm to gain experience even though he would often do basic office work there. Their family had moved to the states when the boys were about two and they don't remember much about the country they moved from. They were the same age as Ted and Ajeshan had become one of Ted's best friends since they both study law together.

Ali wasn't actually studying at Harvard; he just lived with his brother because his parents couldn't deal with his immaturity any longer. He worked part-time at a recreational centre as an assistant trainer to a soccer team. Ted could see had had potential to study sport at college and then train to become a qualified teacher at a school somewhere but he seemed to be more interested in wasting his day in bed or using the money his brother earns to pay for the gym.

Just as Ted finished making himself some tea he heard someone knocking at the door. Sighing he answered it to see Sian standing there, looking sexy in a short red dress, blonde hair tied up in a straight ponytail and wearing too much make-up.

"Hey, Teddy," she smiled.

"Sian. Why are you dressed like that?" he asked, frowning. There was no way he was going to forgive her just because she looks sexy and will, most likely, give her body for him to fuck until he's satisfied.

"I was hoping to earn your forgiveness. I've thought long and hard and I realised what I did was stupid and by not talking I have broken your trust in me." He rolled her eyes and pulled her, roughly, into his apartment. Once the door was shut he turned to face her.

"Sian, I need time to think through what you've done. It's not just because you got high and kept it from me; it's because you did it with him. I told you I don't want him in our life, that's why I got the money off my dad so you can pay him off. And so your dad can pay off Vince. I'm already risking a lot by keeping all of this from my dad."

"I understand that Ted," she answered. He shook his head and shrugged her off when she tried to wrap her arms around his neck.

"No, I don't think you do Sian. Otherwise you wouldn't have gone behind my back. My family is what's most important to me and I don't want them in danger. Whether you like it or not Vince and Carl are dangerous and I don't want them to be a risk to what we have or to my family. I want my family to like you. Hell, I want them to love you but how do expect them to accept you if I can't trust you to not go behind my back?"

"I don't know," she whispered looking down in shame. "All I know is I don't want to lose you because of something stupid that I did."

Ted sighed and wrapped his arms around her.

"You won't lose me, Sian. I just don't know how we can act like this never happened. It will take me a while to trust you again. Though I think it's about time I told my father about this. I obviously can't help you alone and poor Jenson will be the one to face my father's anger if we keep all this a secret any longer." Ted realised that he was doing to his father what Sian had done to him; going behind his back and keeping secrets. He knew his father hated secrets so he thought it was time to be honest.

"What will happen between us then? I doubt your father will want you to keep seeing me."

"I honestly don't know, Sian. But we need to be honest with him otherwise I could lose everything that's dear to me. This could ruin my relationship with Phoebe."

"Why would it ruin your relationship with Phoebe?" Sian looked up to him.

"We tell each other everything. We are really close and when my mom died we kind of stuck together as much as possible. I don't want her to lose that trust in me because I kept all this a secret." He told her honestly. Sian just nodded before looking up at him.

"Do you still love me?" she asked, almost afraid of his answer. He smiled down at her.

"My grandmother once told me 'you can only hurt and be hurt by the ones you love.' The reason this all hurts so much is because I love you, Sian. But I can only do so much for you. You need to meet me halfway here. And I'm sorry but dressed like that is not going to help you gain my forgiveness straight away. " He smiled to let her know he was being playful. She smiled.

"A girl can dream." She said and he kissed her as Ali walked through the door telling them to 'get a room'. They laughed and did just that.

... ... ...

Back in Seattle

Christian was fresh out of the shower and had finished getting dressed when James knocked on his door, telling him, his guests had arrived but Phoebe still wasn't home yet. Christian nodded and walked with his son down the stairs, greeting Richard Johnston once he arrived.

"Mr Grey, this is my wife Maria and my son, Eric," Richard introduced his family. Christian shook their hands and introduced his sons.

"These are my sons, Nick and James," he pointed to each one as he said their names. "My daughter will be home soon, she's running late from an appointment."

Nick and James rushed off into the family room to finish off their board game they'd started once Christian and Nick got home. Christian led the Johnston's into the family room and made small talk. Eric couldn't help but think he'd seen all of these people before but couldn't think where.

"This is a lovely home you have, Mr Grey," Maria said, looking around the room taking in all the pictures of Ana that were around. "Is that your wife?" she nodded to some of the pictures.

"Yes, it is. Her name was-"

"Anastasia," Richard interrupted with a whisper.

"That's right. You must read all the papers," Christian said sadly.

"No, I knew her in school before she moved to live with her dad in Montesano, I think it was. Right little beauty, I used to fancy her." Christian and Maria looked at Richard. "Sorry. But she was never interested in me. We just worked together in English a lot. Where is she? I'd love to see her again."

Christian looked down, tears threatening but he held them back.

"I'm afraid my wife died. Almost ten years ago. Murdered when going for a walk in the park with my daughter."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't think-" Richard tried apologising.

"That's ok. You couldn't have known if you've not long lived here."

"She was a wonderful person, Mr Grey. You were very lucky."

"I know, I was. But I have my four children to keep me going."

"Where are the others?" Maria asked to move the conversation along.

"My eldest, Theodore is currently at Harvard University. He's studying law and has recently got himself a girlfriend. My daughter should be home soon. How about you? Is Eric your only child?"

"No. We have a daughter, Sammy. She graduated in May and is currently looking for a job in a school now she's a qualified teacher. She's getting married next May to a doctor from Glasgow. Lovely man, Harvey is," Maria explained. Richard just grunted as he sipped the glass of wine Mrs Taylor just handed to him.

"Mr Grey, dinner will be ready in half an hour and I've just gotten a call from Sawyer. They'll be here in ten minutes," she said before heading back to the kitchen.

"Yo, Eric. Do you like music?" James asked.

"James we do not say 'yo' in this family!" Nick snapped.

"Shut up Nick!"

"Boys!" Christian snapped. "No arguing tonight, please!" he said sternly.

"Sorry dad," they said simultaneously.

"So, Eric, do you like music?" James asked again.

"Yeah, who doesn't love music?" Eric asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Our sister. She can't stand it," Nick said earning a glare from Christian. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Do you play any instruments?" Christian asked Eric. Richard started laughing.

"Hahaha! Eric can't do anything with music except turn the stereo up!"

"Richard!" Maria scolds.

"Actually, dad, I can kind of play the piano," Eric snapped. He thought tonight would be about the business deal Christian and his father were organising; he never expected the spotlight to be on him. He wished he could be hanging out with Phoebe now. They were distracted when they heard a car pull up outside. Taylor appeared and told Christian Sawyer was back.

A few minutes later, Eric heard a voice he was certain he was imagining.

"Hey, dad. Sorry I'm late the thing ran over and traffic was bad," Phoebe said walking into the room and kissing her father's cheek.

"That's ok, sweetie. Let me introduce you to the Johnston's. This is Richard and Maria and their son Eric," Christian said.

"Nice to meet you," Maria said. Phoebe turned to Eric, gauging his reaction.

"Hey, Phoebe. Nice to see you outside of school," he said almost coldly once he'd gotten over the shock.

... ... ...

So here is chapter 10! Woo, double figures! Chapter 11 is half written, just need to add a few things and proof and hopefully it won't take too long.

Are the chapters too long because I realise as I re-read them to correct errors it takes me a while. If they are too long please tell me and I'll shorten them (which may mean they get uploaded quicker)

Please review; I love reading your thoughts and have actually started to think about the majority's suggestion of bringing Ana back! If you really want her back, let me know.

A big thank you to all my reviewers:

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