Why hello there! It's been a while (dodges rocks), well I'll just leave this chapter and disclaimer here...

Disclaimer: One Piece is Oda's property.

Oh and, (dodges china bowl) I'll have to be honest here, this was the hardest chapter for me to write haha. It was also the most fun I had with... well whatever. It was definitely a great learning experience and now I realize I need more practice. *skips away towards the sunset*

Journal Log Entry #203

Dear Blank,

You may as well congratulate me. This has got to be the second time I woke up to having no memory of a previous event. I also woke up to a swollen hand print on the left side of my face and an aching backside. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was just b-h slapped. Well, either way, I'm rich! -insert crazy maniacal laughter here-

I am so loaded, I just- I'm gonna roll around in my beri right now. Excuse me.

Loriana Gale slowly backed away from the restaurant front after seeing another window get smashed with what looked like a gravy bowl. This was definitely not the job for her, Lori realized. From the unhappy cries and demanding yells she was hearing, well, she figured she did not want to deal with dangerous sounding customers at the moment.

I could always look for another job, she thought wisely. A safer-sounding job, with insurance and health care! Preferably something with fringe benefits.

Just as she turned around to make her timely escape, the door slammed open to reveal an exasperated looking waiter. His uniform was splattered with wine and his hairpiece was skewed to the right with pieces of food stuck in his wig. His face was also red with what Lori sincerely hoped was ketchup. He looked left and right for somebody- anybody!- that could help. The townspeople milling around the road instinctively hastened to hide, some of them diving into alleys and trashcans. Unfortunately for Lori, she wasn't quick enough. He instantly noticed the young girl who had frozen in her tracks like a Sea King caught in Dracule Mihawk's path.

"Y-You! Please help us!" He cried out desperately. He hurried down the steps to grab the girl by the shoulders. "Please, please help us!" He started to sob and wipe snot and ketchup onto Lori's shirt, not releasing his hold on her at all, and mumbling into her shirt with what sounded like 'She's the devil! I've never seen anybody eat that much!' and 'Roger save us all!'

Lori on the other hand was extremely uncomfortable. The man was definitely not letting her go and he had an claw-like grasp on her shoulders. Moreover, she had no idea where to put her hands, which were wavering in the air between comforting the guy and fixing his headpiece which was slipping even further to the right to reveal a very bald, shiny head.

"Erm." She really didn't want to help. She still needed her life (thank you very much), but the man was making things so difficult for her to refuse.

Especially with what he said next.

"We'll pay you. However much you need. We'll pay whatever you want!"

Oh dear. What ever shall she do? Lori's eyes had already begun to gleam with greed. Her greedy side of conscience said "Think of all that beri!" Yet a more sensible side of her said "…You could do a lot with that much beri."

Curses, it seems even greed could triumph over sense.

Lori sighed heavily since she had no choice but to help. Besides, the man wasn't going to take a no for an answer anyways. So Lori patted the sniveling man on the back, briefly, before taking his wig and shaking out the pieces of food. Placing it back on the man's balding head, she said "All right. I'll help you."

The yelling customer was quite literally…a big eater. She could eat plates and plates of food, and not those regular size plates. She could eat those huge pizza platters stacked high with bacon wrapped sausages, triple layered cheeseburgers, jumbo sized chili hotdogs, deep butter-fried chicken topped with spicy hot sauce, and whatever other greasy food a person could name. She could eat twenty of those platters, on a bad day. But she isn't just a big eater, she's a pirate; and what do pirates do? They terrorize people; and that's exactly what she was doing, while eating trays of food of course. She was having a mighty good time of it too. At first the people in the restaurant were giving her glares of disgust next to whispering disapprovals of her table manners. Those glares quickly turned into terror and those whispers quickly transformed into cries of shock as she gave a particularly offensive person a 'diaper change'. She was enjoying the looks of horror the other customers gave her after she turned that person into an infant with her devil fruit powers. She turned a couple others also to drive her message clear.

And now, the only customer in the restaurant yelled "Where's my food?" The other customers had long since escaped like scampering mice, and how very wise of them indeed. Now there was more food for her, and that was the way the pirate liked it.

The restaurant was cleared of every table save for the large round one in the middle. The table was piled high with several dishes and empty plates. Stacks of bowls were in danger of tipping over. Bottles of wine were left on the floor around the table. Pizza platters were left to the side with very little remains still on it. At the head of the table was the slim, pink-headed customer devouring what was left of her extra large pepperoni and mushroom pizza with cheese stuffed crust. The woman used both hands to stuff whatever she could into her mouth and would occasionally toss an empty plate or bowl aside. Then she slammed her feet onto the table and with a loud burp, shrieked "More pizza!"

The waiters and waitresses cowered in fear, no one willing to step up. A round of cries came from a corner of the restaurant. Babies crawling in their oversized clothes were crying for their mothers. While in another corner, elderly people were shrieking for their diapers to be changed. The restaurant staff didn't want to suffer a fate like their companions.

"Didn't you hear our captain you idiots?" A huge man wearing suspenders bellowed from behind the pink-haired glutton. The room was instantly silent of sniveling sniffs and nervous shuffling, save for the chomping of food coming from the only woman sitting down. "We're the Bonney Pirates, and this is our captain Big Eater Jewelry Bonney! If you don't want to die, get us some food!"

The pirates surrounding their captain all yelled and cheered.

"You idiots should be celebrating our arrival on the Grand Line." The suspenders man roared with a huge pirate grin. The waiters and waitresses whimpered in fear. They had never heard of these pirates before, but surely this was a name that would soon be famous. They had already seen how powerful the pirate was.

Suddenly the loud chewing and chomping, slurping and burping, crunching and gnawing of food, stopped ominously.

Crash!

Jewelry Bonney kicked a stack of large soup bowls over, sending it crashing to the floor. Bonney was beginning to become irritable, and a tad bit bored. It was her bad luck to pick a route that started off with a boring island like this. This was the Grand Line? She had been expecting something far more interesting, like that giant whale she had seen before. The only thing that could possibly make her feel better was another platter of sausage and avocado pizza with double stuffed crust.

She kicked another pile of dishes over.

The staff flinched from her abuse of bowls ("That was the good china!") and backed up as far as they could, which apparently wasn't very far as they started to step on each other's toes.

"Well?" She said with grinding teeth, "Where's my food?"

The staff began to bawl even more. What could they tell her? The food had already run out a long while ago. They had a feeling she wasn't going to forgive them if they told her that.

Just as the pirate captain opened her cherry-chapped mouth to demand more food, or to possibly turn the waiters into retirees, there was a noisy slam of doors in the back. A skinny waitress came bustling out with a tall tray of food in each hand and quickly flitted towards the pirate seated at the table.

"Sorry, sorry. Trouble with the oven. Here's your pizza miss." The waitress handed the pirates their food and quickly stepped back. Shooting the cowering staff a look, the waitress made a furious flapping motion of her hand behind her back. The staff, a little too slowly, got the message and they all fled as fast as they could towards the kitchen while tumbling over one another, only too pleased to escape the room.

The pink haired pirate moodily watched the servers get away, feeling as if she had just been played. Then she gave the smiling waitress a contemptuous sniff before turning her attention to the mountain of food in front of her.

"Who are you?" Bonney demanded as she took a huge slice of the pizza from the tray and chewed with an open mouth, the occasional spittle flying out.

"Nobody." The brunette said with an ever present smile, perhaps a bit too quickly. "No one of importance Miss Pirate." Bonney narrowed her eyes at this.

"I'm just a waitress." The girl said evenly.

Somehow Bonney didn't believe that. This girl was a little strange, if not stupid. Couldn't she analyze the situation? She was all alone in a room with pirates and people that were turned into geezers and brats. It doesn't take much to put two and two together. Especially with no other customers in sight. Anybody would have realized something had happened, and the likely suspects would be the pirates lounging in the middle of the room. Also, who would willingly come out of hiding to serve pirates by herself?

Bonney shoved another pizza slice into her mouth and stared suspiciously at the waitress whose smile appeared to be twitching. She looked really plain to Bonney, and yet there was something about her that was… off. Bonney scrutinized the sweating waitress in front of her, racking her mind for something just out of reach.

On the other hand, Lori was frantically searching for a way to escape the room. She didn't like the way the pirate was analyzing her. Looking over the pink haired woman, she also didn't like the way her crew was jeering at her. The big men were all staring at her like she was some kind of lamb and they were all licking their lips as if they had spotted desert. A couple of them even winked at her.

Lori shuddered. Gross.

She was starting to regret taking the job, even for the insane amount of beri the man offered her before. Barging into the restaurant through the kitchen, Lori had taken a couple of seconds to analyze the room. There were a bunch of old people and toddlers in two corners of the room. No other customers accept the pretty woman and tough looking people in the middle.

They were obviously pirates. The waiters and waitresses were all trembling in their uniforms for Rogers sake.

What bothered her was the piles of clothes in the corner of the room the babies were crawling around in. Either a bunch of people just disappeared without their clothes and were running around naked or something weird was going on.

Lori's face twitched. She had been smiling for the past ten minutes and she was beginning to get numb in the face. She'd have to make an excuse to escape soon.

"You look familiar." The pink haired pirate decided suddenly, startling Lori from her thoughts. Her solid smile wavered briefly, before it came back stronger, if not forced.

"What do you mean?" Lori asked now. Escape would come later. For now, she needed to figure out what this pirate meant. Familiar? This was definitely going to be trouble.

"Hah?" Bonney let out an irritated huff. That was exactly what she was trying to figure out. She didn't know where or how she knew, but this person was definitely familiar. She was sure of it. Just…where did she see this waitress before? Bonney began tapping her fingers on the table, her other hand holding up the slice of pizza she was slowly chewing on in contemplation.

Lori waited for her answer impatiently. What does she mean familiar? Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out Bonney's meaning. She tried to think back on whether she had met this pirate before also, but she couldn't remember. Lori knew who this was. The rookie pirate Jewelry Bonney that had just come from South Blue, however that was all she knew. She had heard about the pirate from the crying man that recruited her into waitressing before.

South Blue. The sea she herself had come from.

This could mean trouble, Loriana realized again.

Lori stopped herself from lunging forward to shake an answer out of the pirate that was lost in her thoughts. If only Lori could remember if she met this pirate before or not!

She cursed herself for getting hit on the head. Did this pirate meet her during the Negated Times, or was it from…before? If it was from the Negated Times, then she was fine. But if it was before….

Lori thought about the gun she had strapped to her hip, hidden underneath her flouncy waitress uniform. Her eyes traveled to Bonney's crew. They looked pretty strong and they also outnumbered her. The pirate captain herself was definitely a force to be reckoned with. Lori quickly glanced at the elders and toddlers that were still in their respective corners.

This person might have a devil fruit ability, Lori thought. If that's true, I wouldn't be able to take her. Her crew would also be a problem, although they were inattentive right now. They wouldn't be ready for a surprise attack. What is my probability of success? What escape routes are available for me in case of failure? Wh-

Lori blinked suddenly. What the hell was she thinking? She wouldn't be able to take them on by herself, and more over, what exactly had she been about to plan? The mass murder of a pirate crew? As if. She hardly even knew how to fire a gun. Loriana gripped her wrist tightly, fingering the silver wristband that seemed to incase her wrist.

Lori let out a slow, calming breath and quickly fixed her face into a pleasant and friendly one. "Miss? I can assure you I have never met you in my life. If you haven't noticed already, I'm pretty average looking and normal. Perhaps you have me confused with someone else?" That's right, downplay the encounter. She was a nobody, and that's what she was striving for.

Bonney raised an eyebrow. She had a point. That was also possible, and it was highly unlikely that she knew this person. After all, they had just arrived in the Grand Line. It was impossible… and yet there was still this inkling feeling she had.

Bonney frowned, her eyes on the waitress again. It was just a second, but she could have sworn the waitress had a cold and calculating expression on her face just a minute ago. However, it was quickly replaced with a smile. An irritatingly pleasant looking smile.

The pirate captain kicked a couple of plates over. Loriana flinched, but stood rooted to the spot.

How annoying. Bonney thought, incredibly pissed off now. Forget this! It's not worth my time.

She suddenly stood from her seat, and took a swift step towards Loriana and shoved the shocked waitress, none to softly with her boots, onto the floor.

"Hey!" Lori exclaimed, falling onto the wooden floors and landing on her back painfully.

Bonney swung her glare down towards the infuriating waitress and snarled disdainfully. "That's what you get for pissing me off." She turned around abruptly with her pink hair swishing and sat back down to continue plowing through her tray of food, eating with a vengeance for the lost time spent on thinking about annoying things she couldn't remember.

After a while, Lori got up from the floor using a massive amount of effort. Her butt was most definitely bruised, and her back was also in pain. Jewelry Bonney certainly shoved her pretty violently.

How rude! Lori thought venomously as she brushed dust off herself. Her hands quivered slightly. That's strange. Why are my hands shaking? She looked down. Why are my legs shaking?

Lori tilted her head to the right in puzzlement. She shook her legs out and her joints cracked.

Oooh, that felt nice. She spent a couple minutes cracking her bones and joints, rolling her head in a circle and cracking her knuckles.

That feels much better.

Now, what was she thinking about again? She couldn't remember. Loriana looked around the room in a daze.

"Ahh, what a mess this room is." She spotted a pink-haired youth sitting down at a table, plowing through her second pizza. "You there, whippersnapper , don't you know how to clean?"

The pirate captain looked at the aged waitress. "Hah?" Bonney looked at the quivering old lady in disbelief.

Did she just call me whippersnapper? Bonney raised her eyebrows, unsure on whether to feel offended or amused. She decided for simple disbelief. Behind her, the Bonney Pirates exchanged smirks and pointed thumbs at the old lady as if to say "Can you believe this lady?"

"Yes, I'm talking to you, young 'in! Gracious, what have your parents taught you!" She exclaimed. "Have some manners will you child? Take your feet off this table." Granny Lori slowly shuffled over to the table and pulled a chair out to sit on, right across from the purple eyed pirate.

Women her age shouldn't be standing after all. She was eighty-seven, or eighty-nine. She wasn't sure, but Lori did know her feet deserved rest. Her back was killing her as well.

Bonney watched the old woman with a wary expression. She finished her second pizza and moved on to a third, all the while keeping an eye on Granny Lori who seemed to be eyeing her also.

Bonney was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Bonney demanded with a scowl. She was only slightly disturbed by seeing the now aged Lori wearing a waitress uniform meant for a healthy and young teenager. She shuddered. It was creepy and gross.

Granny Lori tsked. "Language!" She shook her head and looked Bonney up and down.

"Such a pretty child. It is such a shame to see you hanging around those ugly men behind you." Bonney's crew dropped their mouths in offense. Lori leaned forward conspiratorially. "If you ask me, you deserve much better looking men." She raise an eyebrow and grinned toothily.

Bonney blinked in shock. What the-

She was not having this conversation with this person.

Granny Lori nodded her head in approval and sat back, taking Bonney's silence as consent. "Indeed my dear, you deserve a much handsomer fellow. I have a couple of men in mind too, or do you already have a boyfriend eh? Surely a gal like you has already snagged yourself a man?"

Bonney dropped her jaw, almost gagged, and she put her pizza slice down. She raised her eyebrows at the audacity of this lady and stuttered "I-I…"

The eighty-something-year old Lori smiled benevolently and reached out to place her withered hand on Bonney's trembling hand that was slowly curling into a fist.

Dear me, Lori thought, this poor child needs a fairy godmother in her life. Well it's up to me now. The poor girl probably doesn't even realize how lonely she must be! Everybody should have a somebody!

She shook her head sadly at the red-faced pirate captain.

"It's all right dear, there's no shame in not having a boyfriend. Leave it to Granny Lori! How about I introduce you to some handsome looking men I've been hearing about in the newspapers? I hear this Eustass boy is making a name for himself, or do you like this other boy Trafalgar better?" She winked at the pirate across from her. "I hear this Trafalgar boy is a doctor! Fancy that."

What the f-

If Bonney wasn't so horrified at the moment, she would most definitely have face-palmed herself. She was not have this conversation with a- a fake granny for Roger's sake.

Granny Lori suddenly gave Bonney a shrewd look. "Don't tell me… you like younger men?"

Bonney slammed her hands furiously onto the dining table and stood abruptly. "That is it!" She shrieked and kicked the table over, platters and bowls falling over and sent shattering, lunging for the grandma across from her. She grabbed the granny by the collar, and before anybody could think "Elderly abuse!" she slapped Loriana so hard, she was sent flying across the room.

LOL I'm sorry I couldn't help it. I thought about the different things that Lori could do to get back to normal in a single chapter and well... that was it. LMAO!

For real? I know I gag every time my grandmother says something about future husbands and blah.

Don't forget to review and leave suggestions! :D