Responsibilities: *staring me down aggressively*

Me: *sinking lower and lower in my chair, sweating buckets* Uh. . .

Responsibilities: *pulls out rifle*

Me: Oh, shit.

Levi scowled, tugging at the sleeves of the Quidditch robes. "These are fucking ridiculous," he declared. "Who wears fucking dresses when they're flying? It's, like, the ultimate safety hazard."

"I don't know," Erwin answered honestly, pulling on the green-and-silver striped sweater. "Traditional, I suppose. Keeps you warm in the air."

"Also provides drag," Levi grumbled, pulling on his boots as Erwin tugged his own robes over his head. "Slows people down."

"While I'd love to hear about your battle against the uniform robes," Erwin said, glancing at his watch. "We really do have to go."

Levi huffed as they walked onto the field, grey with the morning fog. "Morning, Er!" Frieda said cheerfully, waving at him as she bounced up and down on the spot. She wore a Hogwarts Quidditch Championship hoodie under her robes rather than the sweater.

"Frieda," he nodded. "All right, gather 'round!" he called. "Okay!" he said once everybody had joined in a circle. "Welcome to this year's Slytherin Quidditch Team!" there was a round of clapping and patting each other on the backs. "I see a few new faces," Erwin mused. "Why don't we start off with an icebreaker game?" He could practically feel Levi rolling his eyes as he raised a hand. A Muggle dodgeball he'd bought over the summer specifically for this purpose flew out of the shed, shooting towards him. He caught it, tossing it in the air. "I'll throw this around, and we can all say our name, position, year, and a fun fact about yourself. How's that?" Nods. He tossed the ball between his hands as he began talking. "My name's Erwin Smith," he said. "I'm the Captain of the team and a Chaser. I'm in seventh year, and a fun fact about myself is that I was a Commander in Cadets before Hogwarts." He tossed the ball to the dark-haired boy with glasses – Sairam.

Sairam caught it. "Sairam Vogel," he said. "Chaser, third-year. Fun fact about me is that I play three instruments."

"Which ones?" Erwin asked.

"Piano, guitar, and saxophone," Sairam listed as he tossed the ball to the blonde boy who'd teamed up with Levi on the first day.

He caught it with an easy grin. "Eld Jinn," he introduced. "Beater. I'm in second year, and a fun fact about me is that I was a champion fencer in primary school."

"Cool," Erwin nodded as Eld tossed the ball to Levi.

The dark-haired boy caught it, squeezing it with such force Erwin, for a moment, feared it would pop. "Levi," he muttered. "Seeker. Fir – uh, seventh-year, I guess?" he glanced at Erwin who nodded. He scowled. "Fun fact about me's that I just got out of Azkaban." He hurled it at Frieda as Erwin's eyes flew open.

She caught it with a laugh. "Fine, don't tell us!" she grinned. "Frieda Reiss, Chaser. Sixth year, and fun fact about me is that I've got five younger siblings."

"Sounds awful," Caven commented, catching it. "Traute Caven, sixth year. I'm in the dueling club."

Monika caught the ball last. She brushed one of her pigtails to the side as she spoke. "Monika Hertz, sixth-year Keeper." She grinned. "I like candy."

"Fascinating," Traute remarked dryly. Erwin caught the ball as Monika swung it back at him.

"All right," he said, grinning. "Now, who wants to start playing?"

xxx

Levi grumbled, rubbing his hair and glancing ruefully at the sky. It had started raining near the end of their practice, and they'd all been thoroughly drenched to the bone – apparently, the risk of hypothermia was not enough for Erwin to miss the 'simulative climate' ("We could have weather just like this on a game!").

What utter bullshit.

"Bullshit," Levi repeated to himself as he shoved his Quidditch robes – pesky, oversized body-parachutes – into his Hogwarts brand gym bag and tugging out his uniform. "Bullshit," he said once more as he tugged off the T-shirt he'd been wearing under the robes and reached for his button-up.

"Woah," he heard a voice behind him and he whirled around, dropping the shirt, one hand shooting to the left side of his hip, other raised in the air instinctively. "Those are some nasty scars."

Levi scowled, lowering his hands as he recognized the brat who'd teamed up with him during tryouts (Egg Juice? Ed Gin? Elton John?).

"Whatever," he grumbled, picking his shirt up, wrinkling his nose at the sight of the dusty floor of the Slytherin changing room. He brushed as much filth as he could off his shirt and put it on.

"Hey, you're really good at flying," the ridiculously tall second-year said, and Levi scowled as he finished buttoning the shirt, leaving the top few undone and popping the collar. "Why haven't you tried out before?"

"Circumstances," Levi said shortly, loosely knotting his tie and letting it hang limply from around his neck.

"You're seventh-year, right?" the tree kept talking, and Levi resisted the urge to groan. "Haven't seen you around much."

"Mhm," Levi worked his way into the oversized grey school sweater. He scowled, seeing the sleeves dangling well over his fingers. He rolled them up, tucking up the baggy material as much as he could.

"Well, anyways, I've never seen anyone else fly like you!" Levi rolled his eyes, sighing loudly. Does this kid not shut up?

"That's 'cause there's nobody that does fly like me," Levi grumbled, tossing his bag into his cubby and sitting down on the bench to lace up his boots. "Now, scram."

Remarkably, the brat (Eld! That was his name: Eld. What a dumb name) just laughed, sitting down next to Levi. "Come on, lemme in on your secret. Seriously, that was amazing – jumping off your broom like that. I've never seen a Quidditch match end so quickly – even if it was a practice! Man, you're way better than Nile, and people used to call him the next Harry Potter!"

Levi raised his head slightly, furrowing his brow. "Nile?" he asked. "You mean that bearded rat?"

"Heh, I guess his beard is pretty crappy, isn't it?"

"Hm," Levi hummed noncommittally as he shoved his cloak into his bag and stood up. "Whatever. See you, Jinn."

"See ya, man!"

Erwin was waiting outside the changing room, glancing at his watch, when Levi walked out. "That took you a while," the older boy commented.

"Idiot brat tried talking to me," Levi grumbled, falling into step next to Erwin as they began walking up the hill back to the school (it worried him, how quick he adjusted to following the blonde). "That beater, Eld."

"You teamed up with him on the first day, didn't you?" Erwin asked, watching as Frieda, walking ahead of them, nudged Traute playfully with her shoulder.

"He came up to me," Levi grumbled as they walked into the courtyard.

"You know," Erwin said as the front doors swung open. "It wouldn't kill you to make friends with some more people."

"Yes, it very well could," Levi grumbled as they walked into the Great Hall. "And I don't need friends." He said the word as if it left a bitter taste on his tongue. "I've got my hands full holding back the urge to kill shitty Four-Eyes or that mustachio pervert everyday."

"Glad I'm not on that list," Erwin said jokingly as he scanned the room for Mike and Hange. "Huh, are they still asleep?"

"Nah, I just need to keep myself from strangling you in your sleep," Levi said casually, and Erwin chuckled. "Oi, what're you laughing at?"

"Levi!"

Both boys turned around to see Eld waving at Levi from a table near the buffet table, where three more students sat with him. "Over here!" he grinned.

Erwin shoved Levi lightly, and Levi glared at him. "Be nice," he said teasingly, walking to their normal table.

"Smith, you – argh!" Levi scowled, but he valued his pride too much to run after Erwin like a spurred lover. Instead he whirled around, marching stiffly towards Eld's table.

He sat down stiffly next to an ashy-haired Gryffindor who, for some reason, spluttered as Levi flopped down next to him. The two other students – Hufflepuffs – glanced up as Levi joined the table. One of them, a small ginger-haired girl, squeaked as Levi glanced at her, and the other, a tall, tanned boy with brown hair, raised an eyebrow.

"Who's your friend, Eld?" he asked, eyeing Levi critically. He scowled, glowering at him until he turned away (and for a bit longer afterwards).

"Not his friend, for one," Levi bit out as Eld said, "He's Levi, the new Slytherin Seeker!"

"Oh!" the girl looked at him, amber eyes wide. "You're the new Seeker? The one who's really good at flying?"

Levi raised an eyebrow, leaning on the table with an elbow. "Well, you can't really be a Seeker if you can't fly, can you?"

The girl giggled, and the ashy-haired boy snorted loudly. "Well, from what Eld says, this is your first time flying," he said pompously, leaning on the table similarly to Levi. "Beginner's luck doesn't always last –" he chomped down on his tongue.

Levi raised an eyebrow as the brown-haired boy grabbed the other boy's grey-blonde hair, yanking his head back without even looking up from his scrambled eggs, and the girl wordlessly shoved a napkin into his mouth. "Does this happen often?"

The unanimous grunt was all he needed as an answer. Levi snorted. "Well, that's to be expected, considering how much his tongue flops around."

To his surprise, the girl laughed again – a tinkling noise, like crystal windchimes – and the brown-haired boy chuckled, standing up and sweeping the shocked Levi into a tight hug. For a moment, Levi debated between flight-or-fight, eventually settling for just staying stock-still as the boy ruffled his hair (which was now long enough to touch his shoulders). "I like you!" he declared with a grin. "Welcome, Levi!" he put him down, and Levi shook out the sleeves of his massive sweater with a scowl. "I'm Gunther – Gunther Schultz."

"Petra Ral," the girl smiled. "And this idiot's Oluo."

Levi rolled his eyes as Petra offered him an apple. "Sure," he grumbled, holding back a smile.

It wouldn't kill you to make friends with some more people.

Hange glanced across the Hall as Erwin sat down. "Levi's not with you?" they asked.

Mike slid Erwin his tray, watching as a brown-haired boy swept Levi up in a tight hug. "You don't need to watch him?" he asked.

"No, it's fine," Erwin said. "It's just breakfast, after all."

Hange shrugged. "All right, then." They narrowed their eyes, squinting at Erwin. "Whatcu smiling about?"

"Hm?" Erwin glanced up. "Oh," he shook his head, ducking his head to hide the curve of his mouth as he took a bite of toast. "It's nothing."

There's been one review on this story but I love it, so here it is:

Guest412 (Guest): Very interesting, I haven't seen a crossover like this one before! You're doing great, I'll definitely mark this down for later! Also, do I spy a Septimus Heap reference?

OH MY GOD SOMEBODY FINALLY GOT IT THANK YOU I LOVE YOU *grabs you and drags you away* Welcome, comrade.