Chapter 10

For the life of her she was not getting it. It was supposed to be simple and easy, push back, but with magic, gather it all up in her hands and let it go.

Plain.

Simple.

Could not do it.

The only thing it did do was drain her of energy. Ditto let her knees give out, and she sat on the floor. Loki watched her and sighed. That did it. That disappointment broke her. She was trying; she could feel the effects of trying, but nothing was happening. She let herself fall back, so she was lying on the floor.

"This is simple magic," Loki explained. "I'm not asking you to focus it, just to push it." Ditto put her hands over her face and rubbed her eyes.

"Loki, it is my first time. Give me a break okay?"

"My first time I was creating elements and raising objects far above my head."

"I am not you," Ditto wanted to yell but she forced herself to stay calm. She felt Loki's cold touch pull her to her feet.

"For all intents and purposes, you are." She looked at him trying to figure out what he said before having to ask, but then she was not able to.

"What?"

"You are the Goddess of Mischief, Tricks, and Lies, just as I am the God of Mischief, Tricks, and Lies. You have magic flowing through you, and you play pranks on people. For all intents and purposes, we are the same person." Loki pulled her close. She did not know what to say so she let her mouth take over.

"How does that make you feel? There is someone out there just like you, to the point where they are you. Might get interesting, hard to communicate and focus."

"As much as we are the same person there is one difference between us." Loki said. He let her go and she took a step back.

"I can think of more than one." Ditto replied.

"You where not born on Asguard. It was never your duty to be a goddess," Loki spoke. That hurt a lot more than it should have, but it was true. This was never mapped out in her life plan; this was not what she was going to do. This was a card handed to her from a different deck.

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing." She turned to walk away from him. The door that was open leading into the hallway shut, no doubt from Loki's doing. She sighed. "I know my duty, Loki, and it is not to learn magic." She looked down. "It is purely to keep you well, but I fear you are only getting worse." There, she said it.

She looked up and saw Loki standing there, his face expressionless.

"And what would make you say that?" he asked.

"I know that you are sick. That was made clear on day one. I also know the signs that show that you are sick: not eating, not sleeping, and losing control of your magic. You had that before I got here."

"And what makes you think I am getting worse?"

"I broke your nose, Loki! You are a god and I ran into you and broke your nose. You are getting weaker, so I have failed my duty." There was silence. She wanted him to respond; she needed him to respond, but he said nothing. She walked around him to the door, still shut. She tried to open it but was unable to.

"Damn it," she said.

"We apparently need to talk," Loki spoke at last.

"Those are words I never thought would fall out of your mouth."

"Would they come out of yours?" he asked.

"Yes, but not for this reason," she hissed still facing the door. "I don't see how we are the same people. I am Ditto Kentworthy. I read Superman comic books. I did homework for fun and played tuba in the high school marching band. I am not a gambling person, but I will bet that those are things you have never done. This makes me different."

"You are correct. Those are things that I have never done." That's it. That was all he was going to say?

"I wanted to be an actor, get paid to put on a face, because that is what I am good at. Then I get whisked away and faced with so much pressure," she scoffed. "Open the door, Loki."

"And what are you going to do when I open the door?"

"Reflect, make a judgment call, and do what I think needs to be done."

"That does not sound cryptic," Loki commented. Ditto turned around, her hair whipping around her body.

"I had life plans, and when all the shit hit the fan I asked one thing of you, and that is if what you said on earth, Midguard, whatever it is, was true. You said yes. I believed it because I wanted to, so I opened up more. I did not want you sick. I tried. I let you do things I did not let Andrew do in hopes that it would help you." She paused. Loki looked taken back. Ditto shook her head

"I guess I was a play toy for you. Now open the damn door!" Loki said nothing. There was a cling in the door behind her. She reached back and opened the door. Before she said anything more, and before Loki had a chance to, she left the room.

Loki was dumbfounded. She nailed it right on the head. Everything she said was true. He did try to use her, something he never felt guilty for until now.

What was he thinking? Of course she knew how to put a guilt trip on him. They were the same. She was foolish to believe him. He was the God of Lies, just as she was the Goddess. They could see right through each other, but why could he not see what her next move was going to be. She would get over it and come to some conclusion that she had to try one more time before she gave up. Loki waved it off and walked around the castle.

"Brother, I saw Lady Ditto a while ago. She would not talk to me. What, may I ask, is wrong?" Thor asked.

"She was struggling with magic and things got out of hand," Loki explained. 'Tell me, why do girls overthink things?" Thor laughed.

"That is a question I have always asked myself." He clapped his hand on Loki's back.

"Well, if you excuse me, I must ask father a question."

"Of course. He and mother are in the throne room," Thor said. Loki walked away. He entered the room and saw his parents.

"Good evening, Loki. I take it your evening with Lady Dorothy went well," his father said.

"Father, I come with a question," Loki spoke. He tried to keep his voice steady, but the more he let his mind replay what Ditto said, the more he became worried. His father nodded for him to keep talking. "It was an accident, but Ditto broke my nose. It felt like nothing more than when Thor and I used to fight as children, but with her being, well her, should that have happened?"

"Dear Gods," his mother spoke. Her hand flew up to her mouth. "When did this happen?" she demanded.

"An hour or so before dinner," Loki answered. "As I said before it was an accident. She was going too fast around a corner."

"Loki, what connection have you made with her?" his father asked.

"I care for her. She gets hurt so often that I must care for her well-being," Loki responded. "She said she has been trying to connect."

"Loki, what have you done to connect?" Odin asked.

"I tried to teach her magic."

"This is something that you have to meet her halfway on. There are some things she is struggling with. She will never tell you, but as much as you need her to stay alive and well, she needs you," his mother explained.

"So she has expressed." He let his shoulders fall. "If we are the same person-" His mother cut him off.

"You are not the same person. I told her that she is more than what she rules. She is afraid of losing herself." She walked to Loki and put her hand on his arm. "I can only say so much. Talk with her." Loki looked at his father.

"You heard your mother," he said gesturing to his wife.

"Mother, do you remember where you put that bag I gave you when we returned from Midguard?"

Loki walked though the woods of the garden. He knew that if he was pissed off at someone like Ditto was, he would not want to be in the castle, and deep in the garden would seem like the best place to go. He found her sitting halfway up a tree looking up at the stars.

"They are beautiful tonight." Ditto jumped and had to hold on to the branch she was sitting on so she would not fall. She looked down at him and rolled her eyes.

"What do you want?" she asked

"I come with a peace offering," Loki responded. Ditto arched an eyebrow. "Your deck of cards and prepared top ramen." He held up both of his hands with the promised offering.

"I'll take the offering not saying there will be peace." Loki climbed the tree and sat next to her one branch over. He handed her the hot bowl of top ramen with a fork. She took it, sniffed it, and sighed. "Top ramen." She took a bite and moaned. "It has been to long." Loki watched her; he had tried some of the top ramen and did not like it at all. Why does she find it so appealing?

"What?" she asked.

"Why does this taste so good to you?" Loki asked.

"I was a college student. I learn to live off top ramen and Dr. Pepper." She shrugged. "Sometimes red bull." She took another bite.

"Was?"

"Well, I don't see myself walking back into Anthropology like nothing happened," she said taking another bite. There was a pause while she ate.

"I believe there are words that need to be said," Loki spoke. Ditto did not speak. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say that everything I said was wrong. I want you to tell me that I am wrong and that everything is going . . . according to plan, but I don't want you to lie." There was another pause. Ditto shook her head and exhaled.

"Do not jump to conclusions," Loki began, but was cut off by Ditto.

"Then where the hell am I supposed to go? I have no idea what to think, and I have not known since day one."

"What do you think you are?"

"I told you what I think I am," Ditto hissed and took another bite of the ramen. He knew he had to say it; he did not want to but he had to. In order to get anything else done, he had to say it.

"You were right." Ditto stopped eating and looked at him. She put the bowl down and just looked at him in confusion. Loki sighed, "You should not have been able to break my nose. I am, in fact, getting worse." Ditto looked away her eyes moving as she was thinking through this information.

"I . . .I don't know what to think," she muttered.

"You know just as much as I do when it come to this," Loki responded.

"That is not what I am talking about," Ditto spoke. Loki looked at her. She refused to look at him. He reached up and pulled her face to face his. She would not look at him.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. Ditto rolled her eyes and pulled her face out of his hand.

"You don't want to know." She swung her leg over the branch, grabbed the deck of cards, and jumped down. Loki heard her "thump" as she hit the ground. He jumped down and helped her up. "Don't touch me," she said standing. It was not mean; it was not hissed or barked, and it was stated, almost asked. For that alone Loki took a step back. Ditto stood up straight.

"Thank you for telling me that what I said in the magic room was true." She bit her lip. "I am taking a guess here and assume since that was true, everything else was as well." She turned to walk deeper in the forest. Loki ran in front of her to stop her not wanting to make her angrier than she already was.

"I do not understand," Loki said. That was true; he just told her that she was right.

"I have failed my one duty and you just proved it. I am nothing but a joke for you. You just said it. I had just accepted the whole concept of my new reality, and I see that it was a joke as well." Ditto's voice was rising in volume. Loki felt confused and stupid at the same time. "Do you get it now?"

"Those are things we have not discussed. Words still must be spoken," Loki said. He took a step to her. She did not move.

"Give me one good reason not to go talk to the king and queen," she said looking him dead in the eyes.

"You only failed because I did not allow you to succeed," Loki said. "I believed this sickness was a joke on me, but when I confronted my parents about what happened to my nose, well, I have never seen my mother worry like that." Ditto stared at him; he felt her eyes burning into him. He sighed. "Look there are things I need to tell you."

"Then let's walk." She gestured to the woods. Loki nodded.

"Do you want your top ramen?" Ditto shook her head no.

"I've lost my appetite." Loki did not know what to think. Ditto spoke again. "But now that I have my cards I can show you some of my tricks." Loki nodded.

"There is a realm called Jotumheim, where I found out I am from. I am not of Asguard but a frost giant. I was devastated when I found out and did some things that eventually lead me to attempting to take over Midguard, Earth." He stopped, trying to see what she was thinking. Ditto walked into the woods.

"New York?" she asked. Loki nodded his head. "I remember hearing about that on the news," she paused. "Why?"

"I grew up being the odd one out, no friends and my brother was always favored. I found out in the middle of battle that I was a frost giant and that my whole life was a lie. I did not know what to do. I made bad decisions."

"You snapped," she said, and Loki nodded. "Okay, I would have too. Just not to the level you did." Loki stopped her from walking by put his hand on her arm.

"You don't know what I am," he said. Ditto looked at him.

"The name speaks for itself. Frost Giant: tall and cold. I can't say anything about tall, seeing as you are only a bit taller than me, but I have noticed how cold you are."

"You don't know what you are talking about. I am a monster."

"I may be going to college in New Mexico, but I grew up in California. I know what it is like to be the only one of a 'race'. Try going to high school as the only white kid."

"Ditto, I am a monster, the one that you tell children to keep them from misbehaving," Loki explained. He was getting upset that she was not seeing what he was.

"Loki, you are not the bogie man. If anything, you saying what you are, shows me that you are not." Loki looked at her. "You are not a monster if you say you are not. A monster wants to stay a monster." Loki was at a loss for words. Ditto sighed and pulled out her deck of cards from her pocket. She began to shuffle them.

"Pick a card." She fanned the deck out. Loki reached down and took a card from the middle of the deck. "Look at it, and remember what it is, but do not tell me." Loki did as instructed. "Stick it back in the middle of the deck." He did.

"If I pull out your card, I am right. I only get one chance, and you have to be honest whether it is your card or not." Loki nodded. She watched as Ditto reshuffled the deck and tapped the top. She pulled the top card off and looked at it. "Is this your card?" She turned it around; it was the card he had pulled.

"I thought you were having a hard time with magic." Ditto smiled. That is all she needed to hear to know that she was correct, but Loki was a little baffled.

"Not magic, just a trick." Ditto smiled. She looked like a different person when she was happy. Loki found she was wittier and had more jokes when she was happy, and that was the kind of conversation he wanted to have, not this serious drabble.

"Have I answered all your questions?" Loki asked.

"I had no questions. You were the one who wanted to speak." She started to walk again. Loki followed her. "I don't know how you want me to fix you," she said.

"You can't," Loki stated simply. Ditto sighed.

"Thank you for your words of encouragement."

"No, what I mean is I have to be with a Goddess, and as much as you are one, I don't believe you think you are," Loki explained.

"I have accepted the concept that I am," she responded.

"You see, there in lies the problem." Ditto faced him.

"I do not think I am completely at fault here, my prince," she responded.

"You may be right in that, but let's focus on you for the moment." Ditto watched him. Either he had just baffled her or got her angry; he was hoping for the first. "What will it take to get you to believe that you are a Goddess of Mischief?"

"You tell me," Ditto said. She crossed her arms.

"I think that if you could do some magic you would believe."

"What am I to you?" Ditto asked. That was not the question he was hoping for.

"Pardon?"

"What am I to you? You said that I did not fail because you did not let me succeed, and then you said that once I get magic down things will get better. So in order for me to break down this wall of you not letting me in, I have to do magic?" Loki looked at her. "It seems like I still fail."

"Damn," Loki muttered. Ditto walked away. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know, and for that reason alone, you will not know either," she said over her shoulder.

"Damn," he said again.

Alright so there you go, A bit of a cliffhanger. . .

I might not be able to get on the computer till monday morning. I am babysitting and the house i am going to may or may not have internet. depends on the day. So, if i can get internet, i will update. if not. See you monday morning.

Till Next Time.