Waking up, Onodera Ritsu stretches and yawns heavily, still feeling rather drowsy. After washing up, the brunette picks up his phone and checks it.
3 Missed Calls- Mom
Wondering why his mom called him so early in the morning, Onodera returns the calls. ''Hello Mom ? ''
''Ritsu, you've finally woke up ! It's near afternoon already !''
''Ye-'' Before the brunette could get the word out, his mom barrages on, outraged.
'' What were you thinking? Taking An chan out until so late ? And what were you doing getting yourself drunk until she had to bring you back? Ritsu, how could you trouble a proper young lady like An chan like that! ''
The young man pulls the phone back and shields his ear, looking dismayed.
''I-''
''How are you going to take care of her after you two get married ? Really, you should…''
Tired of listening to his mom nag, Onodera shuts his eyes . He doesn't plan to talk about that topic with her, or more likely- it was her who wasn't ready for Ritsu to talk to her about it.
''Mom, I told you, the marriage isn't going to happen.''
''What are-''
''Yesmom, I understandIwontdoitagain ''
Hastily, the young man speeds through his answer and ends the call quickly, before his mom could give another long string of words and advice. Dumping the phone, he falls back to his mattress, sighing.
Why does mom always have to mention that word?
''Good morning Ricchan ! '' greets An brightly at the dining table, a spread of breakfast items ready for consumption before Ritsu's eyes.
''Good morning An chan,'' replied Onodera tiredly, having a mild hangover. Sluggishly, the young man approaches the table and slumps into his seat.
''Looks like someone had too much to drink,'' observed An chan as she settles in her own chair.
'' I'm fine.'' The editor insists. '' And my mom already called 3 times to tell me not to do it again so don't ruin my morning too.''
Eating in silence, An studies her best friend/fiancé. His usual brilliant green eyes were dull with exhaustion. Under his eyes were dark circles from the lack of sleep and he seem to have lost weight.
''Ricchan ''
''Yes ?''
''Are you doing okay ? '' asked his best friend, voice laced with concern. '' You look really worn, and when you were walking out of your office building, you look like there's something troubling you. ''
Swallowing thickly, the brunette grabs his glass of water and drinks. Awkwardly, Onodera laughs, looking into his bowl of cereal. '' Of course I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? ''
''Ricchan''
''I am !''
''Don't lie me.'' Pouting, An chan gives an unhappy face.
''I'm not !''
Another pointed look from An chan
''How did you know I was lying? '' asked the young man, astounded.
''Ricchann, how long have I known you ?'' asked An certainly.
Another person who Onodera thought had her fooled. Maybe he wasn't such a good liar after all. Conceding, the editor drops his spoon with a light 'clank'. Leaning back in his seat, resignation lines his face.
'' It's just… I feel like I'm not making any progress in my work. Originally, I wanted literature but got shoujo manga instead and had to learn everything from scratch. I wanted to transfer but before I knew it, months passed and it's actually okay. Not as fulfilling as literature, still. I mean it has its good points,but… I'm not producing any good work.''
Seeing her best friend look so upset made her own heart swell in pain as well. ''Ricchan''
He looks at the floor, quiet for a few seconds. ''People at my last job- at Onodera publishing, called me a tail coat rider, because I got all the star authors. But I work hard An chan, I did my fair share of work. I put in every bit of commitment and effort as anyone else. But because of who I am, I got called something I wasn't. And unless I prove myself, I will always remain that to them- a tail coat rider.''
''Do you plan to go back to literature? ''
''I don't really know An chan. I wanted to but then … Now shoujo manga isn't look so bad. I get the same joy with working with the authors as literature.''
''But wasn't literature what you wanted in the first place? They're two different things. ''
''Yea,'' said Onodera, thinking back to his first goal in mind, echoing his answer. ''Yea''
The editor picks up his spoon again, stirring pointlessly in his bowl of milk and cereal. An chan could tell there's something more, something he's holding back. But, the petite brunette doesn't want to push the boy opposite her too much, because she has something else to say.
The topic was never really talked about before- only once. That time, the answer was ''Sorry'' and ''I don't think it's a good idea'' and other words that didn't numb the pain. Maybe they're ready to talk about it again. Maybe, this time-the answer would be different.
Carefully, An chan spoke his name. Onodera could tell from the tone that it was the topic he wanted to avoid- the one his mom wanted so badly to happen.
''Ricchan''
''I'm sorry An chan, but I can't talk about it.'' The editor gets up suddenly from his seat and gives a smile that doesn't quite resemble his. '' Thank you for spending time with me yesterday and letting me stay over. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.''
He leaves, breakfast barely touched.
''What do I want? '' asked the editor as he walked back home from the train station, despite An chan's insistence on the chauffeur- despite the cold weather of winter. He needed a walk.
''What do I want? '' Onodera ask again, feeling lost. Deep in his thoughts, he strolls his way back, closed off from the world. All along, the brunette wonders –exactly- what does he want? Reaching the lobby of the apartment building, he runs into Yokozawa.
Giving him a wilting look, the sales staff comments on his arrival. '' I see you've finally back. Did you have fun playing with your fiancé last night? If you got so much time, put more of it into your work. ''
''She- I- '' Vexed, Onodera gives up explaining. He's not going to listen anyways. '' I don't have to explain anything to you. And you don't have to bother yourself with my matters. For your info, nothing happened. ''
''You've got a lot of nerve saying that after the stunt you pulled last night- introducing her to us in that state. ''
''Whatever,'' says Onodera, rolling his eyes. '' I didn't do anything wrong.''
''I was right to call you a stalker.'' Yokozawa glares. '' Masamune told me what happened last night. So you stalked him while you had a fiancé- you're two timer as well.'' Finishing his sentence, Yokozawa takes his leave.
Within seconds, Onodera was in front of him, blocking his path, looking squarely at him.
''I am not a two timer.'' Onodera states firmly and evenly, anger rising. ''Never call me that again.'' Without waiting for a response, the brunette takes the lift up, looking for the resident of apartment 1201.
BANG BANG BANG
Loud pounding came from his door. Opening it, Takano looks into the angry face of his neighbor, Onodera Ritsu.
''Get out'' commands his subordinate. '' We need to talk.''
Standing at the root top, the two face each other.
''Is that how you treat someone who's sorry? '' yelled Onodera, pissed. His breath warms the air, making it look like he was breathing steam out of his mouth. '' I already apologized for leaving you last time. Did you have to go and make fun of me like that? Did you had to go and called me a stalker and a two timer? ''
The editor presses his temple, trying to prevent a headache from forming. '' An chan is my best friend. Our engagement was agreed by our parents- not us. I told her before I had someone else. She knows I had someone else. And also, I never cheated on you. So tell Yokozawa san so stop calling me a two-timer.''
''Look here Onodera, I don't know what-''
The brunette scoffs, incredulous. '' Oh please, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You know Yokozawa san is in love with you. He' been telling me to stay away from you ever since we've met and I bet he will skin me alive if I ever go within one meter radius of you.''
''Onodera,'' says Takano, having enough of all was written all over the editor –in –chief's face. '' I don't have a damn clue what you're talking about. Stop being the pamper prince you are and stop coming up with all these crap on you own! ''
Silence takes over immediately.
'' What I mean is-'' Knowing he said something he shouldn't have, Takano starts to back pedal. However, Onodera cuts him off.
''A pamper prince,'' says Onodera,trying to hide the fact that the words sting. '' So that was all I am to you,'' he concludes, drawing his head downs as he chuckles.
''Ono-''
''You know-'' the brunette starts, voice wavering. ''For a long time Takano san, I couldn't figure out what I was to you. For ten years I wondered what I meant to you. A stalker ? A junior ? Someone you actually love? '' Raising his head up, Onodera looks at Takano in the eye, the hurt giving way to something else. '' You just cleared all my doubts in one shot – a pampered prince. ''
He wants to take it back, to say that he's wrong, to say that he's more than that- so much more.
Tears well up in Onodera's eyes. '' When Yokozawa san told me what happened, I thought' Oh no, so I was the bad person all along'. Because I mistook your actions, I left you without a backward glance. I thought it was wrong of me to do that. But looks like I'm right the entire time.''
''That's not it. ''
Onodera goes on as a tear falls. '' In the end, I'm nothing but a pampered prince to you.'' He sniffles. '' You can laugh at my stupidity for liking you so much back then, but please don't insult the sincerity I had towards you. ''
Because that was all I ever had
''Sincerity? '' Takano asked. '' Who was playing with who? You told me you loved me and then left.
Finally, he breaks. '' Did you know how hurt and confused I was? '' the editor in chief asked. '' At first I didn't believe you would leave me, that there was a reason for your disappearance .Then I found out you had a fiancé and was engaged. ''
''And you think it was easy for me? '' Onodera wipes his cheek which was wet with tears, fighting for his side of the story. '' I thought the person I love for so long was a good person- a kind person. When you helped me with my homework, I thought' Senpai must be a nice person.' When I saw you carry Sorata back in the rain, I thought, ' Senpai must be a kind person.' He must be a really good person.''
Onodera is letting it all out now-the held in anguish and pain- the heartache he went through. Supressed memories and emotions coming back in waves. '' The person I loved turned out to be a really bad person playing with me. It shocked me so much that I had to stay away from school because I couldn't do anything else but feel the pain. I left because I couldn't face you. How could I face you? You think it was easy for me? I couldn't tell anyone what happen. Not even to An chan. I was alone by myself. ''
The brunette let the tears fall, continuing. ''Because of what happened, I lost my confidence in love. All my later relationships never worked out because I lost my faith in think that was easy? ''
He tries to have a hold on his emotions. ''I did all those things because I loved you. I stalked you using a fake name because I wanted to get close to you without disturbing you. I went back for you when it rained after you called me disgusting because I understood that it was weird to have a stalker doing all those things. When you told me you loved me, I choose to believe in you because I believe that you were a good person. I choose to ignore my doubts and insecurities that you could return my feelings – all because I loved you. When all my belief and faith got shattered in an instant, you think that was easy? ''
With nothing left to say, Onodera walks away. Takano ask one question '' Why didn't you tell me about her before?''
The brunette turns and looks at him- the senior from ten years ago who he crossed paths again. His answer is simple. ''Because I loved you. The person I loved wasn't An chan. I didn't tell you about her because I had no reason to. I wasn't going to marry her. There wasn't anyone else but you then. ''
Onodera dries his tears. '' You're right Takano san. Having the person you love turn on you like that must had hurt a lot. I'm sorry.''
The brunette gives no excuses, just one last apology before he goes, leaving Takano standing at the root top.
Hope you enjoy and please leave comments ! :)