Days go by that he doesn't speak to her at all, Mello is very busy now that he has the notebook after all. So Audrey hangs about the headquarters like a ghost, lost without a mission. She's never felt more useless. It's a Tuesday the following week when Mello finally does say something, it's an order, and he doesn't even bother to look at her as he says it.
She hates that he's holding her at arms length, and she hates that she's too damn stubborn and proud for her own good to do anything about it, and she hates more than anything that it actually hurts. An interest in the body of another individual was common, even praised in the mafia, but having feelings? As far as feelings were concerned, anything aside from anger was surgically removed the minute you stepped through the door of the headquarters. And all her years climbing up the ladder made Audrey steel. But Mello, that damn pretty-boy blonde prissy genius bastard, had changed everything. He'd waltzed in and taken control over her mafia, and now her damn feelings. But she cant confront him about it, oh no, because that would mean admitting she actually has feelings for the surly idiot.
Daddy was right, attraction is like a bear trap; you wont be able to get out unless you bite your arm off.
Currently, Audrey was just getting back from the sector meeting. She'd been ordered to take notes and report back on the progress, since Mello had gotten bored with the meetings long ago. It certainly made the sector head's opinion of Mello dampen, but Audrey couldn't care in the slightest. She was stomping down the hall, papers a mess in her hands, as she made a beeline for Matt's control room. The once empty room at the top of the stairs was now filled with tons of Matt's technical mumbo-jumbo and lately Mello could usually be found there, glued to the screens with Matt. Churning up information of some sort.
Audrey knocked on the large metal door loudly. "Open up, I have the reports to go over" she yelled through the door, the sound of footsteps behind it before it slid open.
"Hey, Adds!" Matt greeted eagerly, ushering her into the room. "What's the table been talking about today?" He enquired, by table he meant the sector heads.
Audrey sighed tiredly, "Oh, this and that. Our numbers are steadily dwindling. Most suspect it's due to Kira's influence" she said, sneaking a side glance at Mello to see if she'd caught his interest. Nothing. She sighs again before sliding a pile of technical crap off the sofa to take a seat.
"Whoa, be careful! That's my new copy of crimson slayer 300!" Matt exclaimed, diving for a cheap plastic CD case among the wires and unfamiliar metal boxes. "I had to go across three servers to get this! It's only out in Japan, you know"
Audrey gave him a blank look "Sorry" she offered, not even bothering to fake sincerity. Faking was straining with all the turmoil inside her. "Thought you were going back to Japan tonight anyway?"
Matt rolled his eyes at her. "In two hours. But that's not the point"
Audrey shook her head at him before she decided to get back to business. "Okay, so the new reports are worse than an angry bull. I'm just gunna say that outright" Audrey stated, shuffling out her papers in her lap.
Matt was clearing a space beside her on the couch, already pulling out his DS. The redhead wasn't even going to feign interest in the reports, but this was how it'd been going the last few weeks. Audrey would read the reports to Mello, who'd be staring at the screens, and Matt would sit there and pretend to listen because then it was like she was actually talking to someone.
"Gambling, drugs, and prostitution have all been tanking. Although Sadie says she's going to try out some new bits of town to see if she cant peak some interest, but Clem thinks theirs just no hope for gambling. The casino's gunna close within a month" Audrey stated, glancing up from her notes to look at Mello. He was facing front rigidly, he could be a statue if it weren't for the chocolate bar he was munching on.
Audrey frowned and focused on the report again. "Skinny Pete nearly got picked up when he started selling around schools…" she trailed off, looking back up at the blonde again. She could feel her anger welling to the surface; she was loosing sleep and getting passed up on important jobs all because of him. Now her head was stinging with the threat of a migraine, and her heart was this aching lump in her chest, and she was just so damn tired. Tired of stupid tasks, tired of not being involved, and tired of sitting up all night in her tiny shitty apartment hurting over someone that she just wanted to sock in the damn stomach. She could cry, she was so tired.
That's why, when the words come out of her mouth harsher than she intended too (although she didn't intend to say them at all), she pushes on. "Jesus Christ, are you even going to fucking look at me when I'm talking to you?" Audrey says, sounding exasperated and angry as she glares at Mello's back.
He doesn't say anything, doesn't even move the chocolate at his lips. Matt's looked up from his game and is giving her this stare like she just pulled the pin from a hand grenade. But Audrey doesn't care about any of that, only the fact that Mello still hasn't turned around. "Audrey-" Matt says as she jumps up from the couch. The way he uses her full name emphasizes his warning, but she disregards it and takes a step toward Mello instead. Matt grabs her arm in a last attempt, Audrey simply shakes it off and marches right up to the blonde.
"You're a selfish son of a bitch, do you know that?" She thunders at him, he doesn't bat an eye. She slams her hand down on the table holding different keyboards and mics and blank CDs and wires that go to something she couldn't give half a shit about right now. "Do you even fucking care?" She meant to scream it, but it just comes out sounding defeated instead of enraged. His eyes flicker to her finally, and she falters at the suddenness of his focus. It takes her a moment to charge on. "Do you care about this damn mafia?" about me? "Are we all just pawns in your stupid damn game?" Don't I mean anything to you? Audrey searches his eyes like he can understand what she's really trying to say.
His face is as unreadable as always, but a firmly placed coldness shrouds his expression. "You keep playing this game, but do you even realize what you're playing with here?" Audrey says, desperately looking for a hint of emotion in Mello, but she finds nothing. Suddenly, her chest contracts and she feels like she's going to cry. Audrey puts a hand on her temple and swallows it down instead, composes herself before she looks at him again. I just want some acknowledgement that I'm not going crazy, that he feels that… thing between us too. And how could he not? Didn't he kiss me? Maybe I'm being too emotional, or too irrational… Audrey buried that last thought, if she rationalized this now she'd lose her nerve. And she needed answers while she still had the willpower to ask questions. All that mattered at the moment was that Mello needed to just say something, dammit!
"Audrey, I don't have time for this. I don't have time for you right now. Are you forgetting that I'm the Boss here?" Mello's expression is one of indifference. Audrey raises a hand to hit him only to realize she's still holding the reports, so she throws the stack of papers at him instead. They rain down around him and scatter under the table and into the corner of the room without actually touching him.
She can plainly see the underlying meaning in his words. He doesn't care, he doesn't want me, all he's ever wanted was the mafia. Power to do what he needs… She thinks, and it makes her chest ache. "You know what, you win!" she's shouting again. "You fucking win, are you happy? I'm tired of fighting you, I'm tired of this… this… whatever" whatever we have. "I'm leaving!" She yells, turning angrily on her heel. Matt is frozen on the sofa, a slack-jawed look on his face that tells Audrey he can read the lines between their conversation.
"Be happy for once, you've won Mello! You've driven me out of my home, so you can have it! It's what you've wanted in the first place!" Audrey yells as she storms across the room. Holding back the tears is making it hard to breathe, but she's too stubborn to break her yelling streak now. She turns back to Mello sharply, he's halfway out of his chair but gripping it like an anchor. "All you care about is yourself, that's all you've cared about from the start! You're a heartless bastard and I-" her voice falters, almost breaks, and she turns back to the door to hide the unwanted tears blooming on her face. She waits a few seconds until her voice is strong again, the hot tears making her feel stupid and small. "I made a mistake letting you come here" letting you in my head, She finishes internally, and then Audrey's gone.
She doesn't know where she's going at first, she storms right out of headquarters and down the street before she realizes she left her Ducati in the garage and doubles back for it. It's about six hours from dawn, so their's hardly anyone on the streets; which gives her plenty of lanes to drift in and out of. Something about swerving with the twists and turns of the road begins to calm her. When she's done being angry and her tears are dry she comes to a stop and takes off her helmet.
Audrey takes one look at the building she's in front of and her heart leaps up into her throat. The apartment was condemned now, and probably should have been long ago when she lived in it with her father and mother. She looks around at the deserted street before getting off her bike and slipping between the gap in the gate of the chain-link fence. She wants to go inside, but the windows and doors are boarded up, so she settles for sitting on the stoop instead.
The last time Audrey had talked to her father was her 13th birthday, on a long-distance phone call. Mr. Farris had been the boss of the LA mafia, all those years ago. It was a position of power and influence and cruelty, but Audrey never remembered him as an unkind man. On the contrary, it was her mother that was always severe and full of shouting. Back then Audrey couldn't tell it was the beginning of a marriage falling apart, but it seemed so obvious now. It was a year after she'd started middle school that the betrayal happened. Mother went to the police, hiding behind their protection while she sold her husband out in court. He left before dawn, Audrey was to stay with Uncle Van. In order to stay with her real family, the mafia- rather than her mother, Audrey burned her real name and her connections to the outside world. At the same time, she burned her mother. The woman that looked vaguely like Audrey, living somewhere in the country under protective custody, was no longer any mother of hers.
All in all, it had taught her a lesson. One she considered the most valuable lesson she'd ever learned, the one she was breaking at that very moment. Never get involved. When things get tough, the first ties to snap are the ones made by intimacy. Family ties, her family, could get through anything together. She was born into the gun-toting family and gave them pure trust, so she was born as steel. But now with Mello, she was turning into some gooey mess; and trusting that was dangerous.
She jumped as her phone rang and shook her out of her reminiscing. The unusually cheerful beat emanating from the device puzzled her and Audrey almost laughed when she checked the caller ID to find it was Matt. She flipped the phone open "You sneaky bastard, how'd you manage to change the ringer without me noticing?" Audrey asked, sniffling and wiping her face almost as if he could see the state she was in; Mascara and eyeliner crusted on her cheeks.
"Well hello to you too" Matt said from the other end of the line, his tone amused at her reaction. "I just got through the airport security, I thought I'd check up on you. Mello's worried that you haven't come back yet, you know"
Audrey rolled her eyes at the phone. "He didn't say that"
Matt sighed "He didn't have too," Matt paused. "Look, I know it's really none of my business, but he's a good guy. Mello just… he takes his work very seriously, and-"
Audrey cut him off. "You don't have to make excuses for him, Matt"
"Let me finish!" The annoyance in his voice silenced her. Matt, perpetually lazy and uncaring Matt, was being serious. "I've grown up around the stupid git, and the only thing I've ever seen him give a shit about is being the best. It's made him angry and obsessed, that's who he is and always has been. But it's obvious he cares about something else now, maybe not the same, but he cares. No matter what he says, I know he cares about you. And I'm his brother, I know." Matt paused, "My point is; he's stubborn, he'll never give up until he gets Kira, but maybe he would for you" Audrey finds herself surprised by the jealousy she can barely catch in Matt's voice.
A long silence drew between them. "What do you expect me to say? I'd never tear him away from Kira, I just want…" she hesitates. "I don't know. I just want to hear it from him" Audrey says finally.
Matt lets out another long sigh "I know, I know. This is what I mean when I say he's a stupid git… and you're just as stubborn as he is, so today is as close as you'll ever come to saying it. Just don't give up on him yet, okay?"
Audrey chuckled in spite of herself. "Okay"
"Now, can you promise me you'll take care of him while I'm gone? The case is making me edgy lately, theirs always the possibility of something going bad... Try to keep him from getting in too much trouble, at least"
"Jesus, you really are his brother" Audrey joked, trying to ignore the shiver that settled over her at Matt's words.
Matt laughed, "Almost" he paused as an announcement muttered amongst the background noise. "That's my flight, I gotta go. Chin up, Adds"
"Good luck, Matty" She said before flipping the phone shut with a snap. At least Matt's talk had calmed her down a little. She knew Mello was too stubborn and determined to say anything outright just yet, but if she played the waiting game any longer Audrey swore she would punch a hole in the wall of her apartment.
Audrey exhaled a deep breath before getting up from the stoop and slipping back through the fence. It was with a peacefulness that she put on her helmet, re-mounted her bike, and roared off towards her empty apartment. Audrey wasn't going to give up by a long shot, not yet. Besides, she could never really leave her family, her mafia. She just needed time, time to sleep and time to let the wound from her outburst heal. Maybe with enough time she would even get some patience to deal with Mello.
The first thing she'd resolved to do when she got to her place was to get some sleep somehow, but when she arrived she remembered just how much of a mess it was. Audrey hardly ever had time to clean, since she was on call pretty much 24/7. Perhaps she would have let the section 1 cleaners have at it, if it wasn't for the fact that she had a feeling they liked to snoop around when they tidied up. Audrey hated weasels.
So, after she washed her face, she started scrubbing the floor and cleaning the scarce dirty dishes left by the times she actually ended up eating at her apartment instead of on the go. There was nothing else in dire need of cleaning aside from the liquor bottles that littered the floor but it still took her well into an hour to finish, since she'd decided to vacuum and clean the bathroom as well. It was nearly five AM when she slipped on her jacket and grabbed the only small bag of garbage left in the room.
Audrey opened the door slowly and lugged the garbage to the end of the hall to stuff into the garbage chute, it was as the silver door snapped shut that the first groan echoed through the hall. It nearly made her jump out of her skin, and she looked wildly around the poorly-lit hallway.
"Hello?" she called out tentatively, pulling out her gun from her pocket at the same time. Footsteps and another groan reverberated in the hall; it was obviously coming from the stairs. "Answer me now if you don't want to die!" Aubrey shouted, running swiftly towards the door-less stairs entrance with her finger already hovering above the trigger.
She stopped all movement when she saw the familiar figure; Audrey was frozen where she stood. "Mello? Is that you?" she called out hesitantly and slightly lowered her weapon, his shape looked the same but she couldn't exactly tell if it was him yet. Besides, something was strange. A dark feeling was growing in her gut.
"Help me" he choked out; that really scared her, so much that she almost dropped her gun in shock. Mello never admitted he needed help from anyone, let alone her… something was very wrong.
"Mello!" she shouted worriedly as he collapsed on the landing of the stairs. She raced towards him, hurriedly stashing her gun back in her pocket with the safety on. "Mello, Mello!" she repeated frantically, kneeling by his side and shaking his shoulder. He was unconscious. His jacket was spattered with blood and soot, most of it was dried by now, but some fresh red stained the hood.
She rolled him over to check for a pulse when she noticed his face… he'd gone and burned up his beautiful face. It must have been the pain that made him pass out. "Dammit, Mello. What the hell happened?" she asked aloud, her eyebrows creasing in worry. At least she could find a pulse on his neck. It was with a lot of effort that she managed to pick him up; she had to sling his arms over her shoulders, his body resting on her back. The stair climb was exhausting mostly because it was hard to balance, but the adrenaline coursing through her pushed her on. Carrying him down the short hall to her door was infinitely easier. Once Audrey got him inside the small apartment she placed him on the floor, trying to ignore the small pool of blood quickly collecting beside him.
'Death Doctor' wasn't just a cool name; it was through her early years working as the mafia medic that she earned that title emblazoned on her jacket. Although she'd never dealt very much with fire or explosives, which this clearly was, she silently promised herself to save him. "Don't worry, Mello. I can fix this…" she stated, more to sedate her panic than to comfort the unconscious man. Scenarios played out in her head that explained Mello's injuries, explained why no one else had come with him, but when she found herself biting back a sob she pushed the thoughts away. It was more important to help him, explanations and hunts for survivors would come later.
Audrey unzipped his jacket easily, the zipper would have been melded shut if it was in the fire, so he must have put it on to disguise his wounds on his trek. Why hadn't he just called her? She got up and quickly retrieved scissors, a bowl of water and sponge, along with her old medical field kit. Audrey removed the jacket carefully and revealed his abdomen; the only bleeding wound was one long scrape where it was likely a piece of shrapnel had grazed him, but it was shallow. She pressed a piece of gauze to the cut to stop its bleeding while she appraised him for more serious wounds to tend to first, and since there were none piercing vital organs, the biggest concern was definitely the burned skin marring from his face to torso.
She brushed back his hair, cutting off the few singed pieces on the left side of his face. "It's okay Mello, it's not that bad really. I can fix this. You'll be righter than rain." Audrey prattled to the unconscious man as she wet the sponge and very carefully began to blot his face, ridding him of the fresh and dried blood. The act seemed to only cause him mild discomfort in his unconscious state, evident by a few twitches. As far as Audrey could tell by now, he would be lucky if his eye or ear worked and at the very least he'd have a pretty big scar.
She took a package of gauze from her kit and carefully applied it on top of his left eye before retrieving a can of spray medical disinfectant. Audrey sprayed a thick coat of it, trying to avoid his eye as best as she could. His scream was painful, but she had been prepared for it; the wound had to be cleaned, even if it left him writhing in pain for minutes afterwards.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she repeated, trying to remain resolute as she dabbed away the fresh blood mixed with hissing disinfectant. She suddenly remembered her strong pain pills for migraines, jumping up and sitting back down with them in a flash. She grabbed some nearby vodka as she urged him to open his mouth gently "swallow this, it will help" she directed, giving him two pills and a shot of vodka. She fought tears when she saw him struggle to simply swallow. "Please, it will stop the pain" she pleaded with him, gently rubbing his throat to help. After he successfully swallowed she heaved out a sigh of relief. At least he wouldn't be able to feel most of the pain now.
"Don't move, ok?" Audrey said rhetorically. She administered a few eye drops and fashioned an eye bandage for him, with gauze as well as a bit of plaster to keep it in place. There wasn't much she could do but make him rest it and hopefully his eye would be useable, but she didn't really want to think about it not being useable so instead she opened her mouth again. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about what I said earlier. I was being stupid because I…" She hesitates, but she needs him to hear it just in case. Now is not the time for pride. "I care about you, so please don't die" she finishes in a whisper, avoiding the gaze of his uncovered eye. Audrey applied burn ointment before covering the whole burn with gauze, which was nearly the entire half of his face and neck, before wrapping it in bandages to keep it in place. Silently, she helped him sit up and cut off the remainder of his burned vest before she quickly dumped out the reddish-tinted liquid in the bowl and re-filled it with clean warm water.
Audrey carefully washed his torso clean of soot and other fire-grime before she let him lay down again. Now she was tugging off his boots, which needed no unlacing since the shoelaces had been burned into non-existence, and following that, she cut off his leather pants. For modesty's sake she was thankful his boxers remained intact, or rather, thankful he'd worn boxers that day as she suspected he most often didn't. She briskly washed his long legs with the sponge as well, trying to ignore the stare he was giving her.
"Can you walk?" she didn't wait for an answer before she continued. "You need to rest… you can have the bed" she began to help him get up. She only succeeded in sitting him upright on the mattress before she froze at the words he uttered.
"They're all dead, Audrey" Mello croaked slowly, his mouth hard to function.
Does he mean the gang? All of the mafia? Or just everyone at HQ? What about Clem- everyone in the apartments? What the hell happened? Audrey thought frantically, pictures of her family sprawled out lifeless flashing through her head."You shouldn't be talking" Audrey pointed out, shutting out the thoughts and images. Pretending he didn't say anything. Somewhere deep down, she'd sort of known they were dead when she'd first seen him on the stairs. She'd just hoped she was wrong.
"Kira got ahold of their names and faces, anyone who wasn't killed in the explosion-"
"shut up!" she interrupted in a yell, tears suddenly streaming down her face. "They were my family, not by blood but stronger than that because I chose them. They chose me, they…" She sobbed hysterically, backing away from him and letting his body fall onto the mattress without her support. "They were all I had! All I had left to call home!" Audrey cried, shooting off any thought that came into her head. She desperately wiped her face with balled fists before she ripped her jacket off, tossing it angrily aside. It's nickname was useless now, since everyone that knew her was dead. "Anyone that knew my real name! The people I grew up with, raised me, they're…" She curled into a ball on the floor, holding her head in her hands as she shook with sobs.
Mello kept a firm gaze at the ceiling, uncaring that half of his body was lying haphazardly off the side of the bed. He didn't dare look at Audrey, since just the sound of her crying was beginning to tear him apart inside. He'd lost everyone. He'd made a huge mistake.
I've been writing and re-writing this chapter, and I'm still not really satisfied, so feedback would be great for the future. And if you expected lovey-dovey fluffy junk because of last chapter: hahaha! You should know me better than that, I like my characters to suffer. Anyway, thanks for the reviews and favs and such guys, you really keep me going. -Luv, Cart