That night I woke up screaming for my mom. Not Renee, but my mom. With her golden skin, blue eyes and blonde hair. I could hear her crying and talking to me, pleading for me to wake up. Only in my dream I couldn't move my mouth, or any other part of my body for that matter.

I'd forgotten about her. With everything that had been going on I'd pushed her memory to the back of my mind along with the rest of my real life. For a while I'd let myself believe this was my real world.

Charlie and Bella both came running in the same time Jake swung in through the window.

Even my wolf's warmth wasn't enough to soothe me. I cried for my mom. When Charlie offered to call Renee I let him. She crooned soothing words into the phone, but it didn't help. Nothing would. This was my rabbit hole. And I was stuck.

Eventually my sobs calmed and I starred dry eyed at my work table and dress form. Jake held me silently while Bella clutched my hand and Charlie stepped out of the room to talk to Renee.

I had to accept I would never see my mom again. And if I was going to spend the rest of my life inside a book, I might as well make the best of it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

Jake's arms tightened around me and he whispered in my ear that it was just a bad dream and I wouldn't have been able to control it. Bella just nodded along. I nodded too since it felt like what they wanted me to do.

"Can you stay?" I tilted my head to look at Jake. "Inside though."

He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Of course. I wasn't planning on leaving anyway."

I nodded again, not knowing what else to do. Bella kissed my forehead and assured me she'd tell Charlie that Jacob was staying. I told her to leave the door open so he'd have one less thing to worry about.

Kicking all the blankets off the bed I pulled the sheet over both of us. His body heat was enough to keep me warm, but I always feel like I need to have something cover me – no matter how hot it gets.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jake whispered in the dark. "Is it my fault?"

I shook my head. "It's not your fault, promise. There was nothing wolf or giant dog related. I dreamed I'd never see my mom again."

"I'm sure your dad will let us go see her this summer. Well, maybe I shouldn't go. I have the feeling airports would make me phase and that's probably somehow a terrorist act."

Laughter bubbled out of my throat. "It would be funny though, think of all the people flipping out." I pulled his arm around me and intertwined our fingers. "Night, Jake."

He kissed the back of my neck. "Good night, Syd."

My brain refused to let me fall back in to any form of sleep. I could tell by Jake's breathing that he was still awake too, but he stayed quiet. I was grateful since I wasn't sure I could keep my mouth shut about my rabbit hole. They thought they were real. It felt real. Maybe I'm crazy. Although if my delusional brain wants me to snuggle with Jacob Black then who am I to contradict it?

Dad offered to let me stay home come Monday, but I was tired of sitting around the house while the three of them watched me like I was going to crumble to bits.

School was a welcomed sight. No one here knew about my nightmare. No one would treat me like glass. Although Jake did insist on riding with me to school. Thankfully my friends didn't find it too strange when he pecked my forehead then started walking towards the woods. People know us Swan sisters have strange men.

Mase threw an arm around my shoulders and nodded towards the school. And that was it. They wouldn't ask about the bags under my blood shot eyes or why I didn't have any makeup on or why I was wearing baggy jeans and a hoodie instead of my usual fitted clothes. These three were what kept me sane.

After a few classes, however, I'd wished I had stayed home. My head was throbbing in a way that felt like it was cracking to pieces.

Kelsey placed a soft hand on my arm. "Syd, are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Call Jake. He has my phone." My fingers pressed to my scalp, trying to massage out the pain. When that didn't work I pulled my hair. It seemed to help for a moment before the pain slammed back tenfold.

"Sydney, come on, we have to go to the airport to get your sister!" Dad yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I was excited to see Bella again, but a part of me – a really selfish part of me – didn't like how ecstatic he was about it.

Nonetheless I pushed my feet in boots, grabbed a hoodie, and ran down the stairs. I'd had day dreams of what it would be like to have a sister around all the time again. Besides Jacob she was my best friend when I was little. We told each other everything and did everything together. I knew it wouldn't be the same, but a part of me still hoped.

We took the cruiser. Dad didn't think Bella would be too thrilled about being picked up in a lime green Impala. I thought it was a better option than a police car.

Bella looked less than thrilled when we pulled up outside the small Port Angeles airport. She was clutching a small cactus in a terracotta pot.

"Told you we should have taken the Impala," I smiled up at Dad as he picked up her bags. She'd only brought a purse and a backpack on the plane, the rest had been dropped off by FedEx yesterday morning. Dad didn't try to hug her, but Bella was projecting some seriously awkward body language. I climbed in the back and we set off for home. Most of the ride was in silence. Dad tried to make some conversation, but where he'd always found it easy to talk to me he wasn't having the same luck with my sister.

Once home Dad carried her bags up to her room while explaining that he'd cleared a few shelves in the bathroom off for her. She didn't seem too happy about having only one bathroom. I felt sorrier for Dad having to share with two teenage girls.

Bella and I were only ten months apart, but it was enough to put us in different grades. When she was reminded of this her little enthusiasm dropped even more.

Billy and Jacob were coming over for dinner. Having had a crush on her since we'd all made mud pies in the yard, Jake was extra happy about Bella coming home.

When they pulled up in separate trucks Dad and I ran out. He to help Billy get out and me to wrap myself in the smile that Jacob always had. Being around Bella's gloom was starting to make mine slip.

Jacob's grin was all teeth when I met him in the yard. "Hey, Syd."

I slid an arm around his waist in a loose hug, letting my head to fall to his shoulder. "Hi Jake."

"You're tired." His arm threaded around me to return my hug. "Were you up late working again?"

"Guilty. But I'm done with that order. So tonight I can sleep." I'd been working on a huge custom order for a shop in Seattle who liked to feature local designers. I had to make close to one hundred different jewelry pieces and a few dozen different fabric accessories and a few dresses.

"Does that mean you'll finally come over this weekend?" He looked hopeful. I usually spent my Saturdays at the rez with the boys. "Those teeth latching on to the lip means no, Sydney Swan."

"There's a show Friday night, just a few ska bands. Come with?"

Jake's nose wrinkled. "If you really want me to." He must really miss me. He never liked going to ska shows.

I chuckled. "It's cool. The show won't be over super late so I'll just drive down to the rez and stay Friday night."

Dad yelled for Bella to come outside where he presented her with the old red truck Jacob had spent many a weekend fixing with me keeping him company in the garage.

At first she didn't seem to understand what was going on. Then I saw the first smile since we picked her up grace her lips.

The next morning I got up before Dad so I knew he'd at least have one hot meal and made eggs and bacon for breakfast. I hollered at the base of the stairs to let them know the food was ready. Dad came down and ate with me. Bella said she wasn't hungry and got in the shower.

I was meeting my friends before class started so I left before she was ready. But no one missed the truck's back fire when she pulled in the lot. I heard a few snickers but I ignored it and made a point to yell a greeting to her from a few rows over. Bella looked embarrassed and waved quickly before heading up to the building.

"Your sister doesn't seem very happy to be here," Kelsey mused as she watched her disappear.

"She's not. Mom's completely different than Dad. Not to mention she's been in Arizona." A part of me felt bad for her. Rainy old Forks was a big change, not to mention since we were kids she'd lived with Mom.

"You know…" Mason leaned against the Impala. "You are complete opposites."

I nodded. "Pretty much."

We were a small town, so therefore we had a small school where everyone at least knew who everyone else was. I was one of the more well-known just because I've never met a stranger. Attention was something I liked although I didn't have to be in the center of it.

The school was all atwitter about the new girl. We don't get new students in Forks often. The last to join us were the Cullens. I'd like to say that now that my sister was in town the Cullen kids would be getting less attention, but I don't think those five would ever not be the talk of the school. All five were gorgeous. All five were adopted. That's why I didn't really think it was a problem that two pairs of them were dating.

They were all super nice the few times that I'd spoken to them. Alice was the only one I'd truly consider a friend. Well maybe Emmett too, but that's only because he'd been telling Jasper a perverted joke one day and I'd overheard, and laughed for a good ten minutes. Ever since he's made an effort to say hi. Alice, however, had turned out to be a serious asset and sometimes muse when it came to my jewelry and clothing designs.

I noticed Bella, along with everyone else in the cafeteria, look up when the Cullens walked in – well Alice danced her way across the floor with a very uncomfortable looking Jasper. She was sitting with a few of the kids in her grade I knew, but wasn't really friends with. I'm glad she'd made some friends, though. I was worried she'd be eating lunch alone and I'd have to recuse her.

Alice and Emmett both smiled at me, but that was the only contact they had with anybody. Edward trailed in a beat after everyone else. I saw him smirk as he walked past Jessica Stanley. When he took his seat with his siblings he gave my sister a glance. Maybe Edward wasn't gay. Although I'm pretty sure I was the only female in the building who thought he might be.

A tinkling laugh sounded from Alice's side of the table and she winked at me. I had no clue why, but I smiled back anyway.