OMG! I'm sorry! I thought I'd posted this allready. Chapter 11 is giving me some headace, so that's why I haven't posted...god, I really thought I'd posted this...
«Hey Cas, where's your phone?» Dean's voice came from down the hall. «It's in the inner pocet of my trenchcoat» He yelled back from the kitchen where he was making sure the burgers they were having for dinner weren't getting burned. «You still have that thing?» Dean's voice sounded surprised. «yeah, I do, why do you need my phone?» Castiel had kept his phone in the hopes of finding some power to charge it, so he could see if there was any money left on the card, not that he had anyone to call, he was just curious. Yep. And the trenchcoat he kept for sentemental reasons. Even if it were mostly rags now.
«Cas? Who is this?» Dean came into the kitchen with Castiel's phone in one hand, and a strip of pictures from a photo booth in the other. «oh» Castiel could feel a smile forming on his face. «I'd forgotten I still had those.» He took the pictures from Dean. There they were. Himself and Sarah. He felt tears forming in his eyes and smelled the burgers burning. The phone was left by the stove, forgotten.
Dean let go of the pictures and moved the pan with the burning burgers. Cas seemed lost in thoughts. His eyes were watering, but he was smiling. It hit Dean that Cas had been homeless for more than a few weeks, and it couldn't have been all bad all the time. He smiled. «Who is she?» He was trying hard not to sound jealous, even if deep down, that was what he was feeling. He was mostly qurious, though. And he realized that he hadn't been jealous in a while, at anyone. Over anyone. Cas looked up at him «Sarah. She was my friend, my only one, I think. Well Emanuel was a friend too, but he left.» The soft, sad smile on Cas' face made all the jealousy melt away. «Tell me about them? I need to hear about the few good things as well, you know?»
«maybe while we eat?» Castiel asked «Those burgers aren't burned too badly, are they?»
The burgers were fine, and Castiel started his story. «okay, so when I met Emanuel within the first few days after the fall, I was hungry, cold, sad and lost. He took pity in me and shared his meal with me. Then he thought me about how to get money, and food when I didn't have any.» Castiel smiled at Dean, who was stuffing his face with burger and nodding while chewing. «We drifted together for a few days, untill one morning when he was just...gone» Castiel could still feel the sting in his heart when he found a dollar bill sticking out from a rock by his elbow, and Emanuel gone.
«Then all the bad things happened.» Castiel continued. «starting with the event I told you about yesterday.» He shuddered «It was worse events after that, and I might tell you more, but right now, we're talking about the good things, right? I'm glad to tell you the good things, should have before I told you about the bad things.» Dean nodded. «okay. So one really cold and windy evening, I think it was a Friday, I was looking for somewhere to sleap. I'd decided against finding someone to pay to get somewhere dry to sleap, so I was looking for alternatives. That's when I heard it. It was a woman's voice. She was begging for mercy and sobbing. And I could hear some really sickening, slapping sounds that were not to be mistaken.
I hesitated before peaking into the alley the sounds were coming from. I'll probably never forget the sight. This girl, she was probably about seventeen years old. She was bent over and held in place by two guys while a third was thrusting in and out of her. She was sobbing and pleading weakly and resigned for them to stop. I got so angry. Whenever I let anyone take my body, it was because it would give me something in return. These guys were just taking her for the hell of it, not intending to give her anything.» Dean waved his had to try and get Castiel's attention. Castiel nodded «that's just sickening,» he started, and then, with a questioning frown: «you think that sex is just a tool to get something?» The look of hurt on his face was evident. «Well...» Castiel anwered. «not exactly, I know it is an act of affection as well, but I find that a lot of people do it to gain something.»
The thought of Cas just having sex with him to gain something stung Dean's heart, but Cas was telling him something important, so he surpressed it for now. He would find a way to ask Cas about it later.
«The guys taking her, were obviously not homeless, they were drunk out of their minds, I think. And they had suits on, and their language told me they were feeling really though, but I could see that they weren't exactly fighters. The girl looked homeless; her face was grimy with tears, her clothes were dirty and her hair was long and greasy and messy. For the first time since the fall, I got out my angel blade. I'd hidden it up my sleeve with a makeshift sheath around my wrist for fear of it getting stolen. I raised it and walked into the alley, trying to look as fearless as you would've. The guys weren't looking so though with their pants half down and a knife raised at them. For some reason they scattered and left me and the girl in the alley. She shuffeled to get her pants back on and at the same time push herself against the wall as far as she could go. She looked terrifyed, and I realized I still had the angel blade raised. I put it back up my sleeve and put my hands up to show her I was kinda unarmed. She looked at me with hostile eyes. I asked her what her name was and she told me it was Sarah. When I'd gained her trust by holding my distance and asking if she was okay and offering her half of the food I'd collected out of a dumpster behind a resturant, I asked how it had happened. As it turned out, they had just jumped her as she had decided to sleap in the alley for the night. All of them had had their turn with her and had been talking about secounds when I came along. She still looked a little scared and was eyeing my right sleeve with suspission in her eyes. But I gained her trust. That's what was important.»
Castiel sighed and realized they had eaten their burgers allready. So they moved into the lounge so Castiel could finish telling the story. They sat on opposite sides of the coffee table. Dean was looking at Castiel with all his attention focused on him.
«She was fighsty. She had been homeless for five years and knew all the secrets of where to get food and how to get money. She'd never gotten raped before, though. She said that she'd had her brother with her until a few weeks earlier. They had protected eachother. It was easyer to be homeless together, she said. But her brother was in prison now, and would probably be there for a while. I decided to try and be her brother for a while, I needed someone to protect and she did as well. She was a master thief and she probably saved my life just as many times as I saved hers. The anxiety and shaking stoped while I had her to be strong for and I enjoyed her company a lot.»
Dean couldn't help himself. «so you and her didn't...?» Cas looked at him with hurt eyes. «Sarah was like my sister. And I wasn't her type anyway. I'm too scrawny to be a man, and have too small boobs to be a girl, as she put it.» Dean chuckeled and urged Cas on.
«It was the first time I was happy since the fall. She was a great thief and good company. She was a warm pressence on dark and cold nights. We used to huddle together under my trenchcoat when it was the coldest. I don't like stealing, so I made her steal only the cash in the wallets, and leave all the rest on, like, a park bench or something. One day we found a hundred dollar bill in a wallet she'd picked from some suit jacket. It was the best day. That was the day we took those pictures. We could've saved the money and eaten well for at least a week, but we were so happy, we did all the things you can't do when you don't have any money. We ate at a mcDonald's and allmost threw everything up again, 'cause it was too much of it. We took those pictures bought her a secound had woolen coat and a sweater for me, and we took a bus to the next town instead of walking. The sweather and the coat turned out to be good investments for future cold nights.»
Dean knew Cas looked happy in those pictures. «So where is she now?» He asked. «You should've brought her here, she would've been more than welcome...» Cas' face fell. «she's dead.» He said, and Dean regretted asking right away.
«I was trying to get some food while she was guarding our sleaping place for the night. I found some bread still in it's paccaging and a little meat in a dumpster a few blocks from there and was hurrying to surprise her with the catch. When I got to the alley, I found her drenched in her own blood. Her killer was standing over her, laughing. I recognized him as one of the men she had fought off when he wanted our money a few days earlyer. I raised the angel blade, but he didn't care. He snared at me and left, I think he was a bit crazy. And just like that, I was without a friend again. She was still breathing when I sat down beside her and drew her head into my lap. She tried to smile at me, and whispered that I should go to 'this Dean you're talking about in your sleap'» Castiel looked at his lap as he could feel a blush creeping up his face. Dean smiled.
«so I started the long walk here. I was hesitant to do it, but it was her dying wish, and I didn't know where else to go, the shaking and the fainting started again, so I decided to come here, and if you trew me out on my ass, I would jump out from a bridge or something.»
Cas' story was coming to an end and Dean couldn't bring himself to say anything for a while. «She is the reason you came back to me?» He asked after a while, his voice were thikcening. «yeah, I couldn't go back to being alone and paying the price for sleaping anywhere close to decent, so I took my chanses with you» There was annother thing nagging in the back of Dean's head. «Jump out from a bridge?» Cas ducked his head. «yes. I'd remembered how it was to have company, and as I was walking here from where Sarah died, the shaking came back worse than ever and I wanted my family back and if my family didn't want me, I'd just end it. Okay?» Dean's heart broke. The tears flowed freely and without warning, he hugged Cas tighter than he probably should have, but as he remembered that he should have warned Cas about it, or asked if it was okay, he realized Cas hadn't flinched away or broken out of the embrace or anything. And just like that, his heart felt lighter again.
Castiel was just as surprised as Dean was that the shakings didn't start when the embrace got a little too tight. He gave in and returned the hug with full force. The best thing in this situation was that once he'd chared the story, the grief got more bearable and not so chrushing as it had been. He told Dean as much and was rewarded with a teary-eyed smile and a sob of a laugh. It was very intimate, and none of them needed to talk anymore, but stayed in the embrace for a while.
The silence of the moment was broken when Dean kissed Castiel's neck. He reacted with a low hum and gave himself over to the teary kiss.
There was no way Dean would let Cas out of his sight now. He marveled at how relatively fast he'd recovered from the whole ordeal from the months that had passed between the fall and when he'd showed up at their doorstep. He couldn't believe his luck that this strong creature wanted him. While he kissed his angel lazily, he realized that now, allmost all of his problems were fixed. His brother was getting better at great speed, the prophet weren't as frequently drunk as before, and Cas was here, with him, and getting better. And wanting him. Dean still couldn't see how that could be possible. The only real problem that was left, was the king of hell, that they had neglected to even bother with. Things were looking up.
I have no idea where this came from, but it came to me while on a walk and it wouldn't let go, so I wrote it.