We left our weapons in the basement. Stupid. Stupid. We deserve to get killed. We deserve to be ratted out. Surprisingly, though, no one is shooting. No one is calling out to the Peacekeepers inevitably patrolling the streets right outside Tigris's door. I survey the people before us.
Tigris has invited a half dozen Capitolites to her shop. They all seem cozy and not at all shocked to see us. I can't say the same for my crew. I hear Effie in my head. A lady doesn't gape. I close my mouth and try to figure out how we are going to kill all these people.
"What is this?" Haymitch asks gruffly. He clearly recognizes some of them, as does Finnick, who seems to be eyeing certain individuals more than others.
"They're here to help," Tigris offers. One of the women steps forward. She's unmistakably affluent.
"It's not just us. There are others. Others in the Capitol that support you," the woman states.
"Then why aren't you part of the rebellion, like Plutarch?" Peeta asks. I watch his face and look back at them for an answer.
"It's not like there was a sign-up sheet. We weren't recruited. But it doesn't change how we feel," the woman responds. I close my eyes for a minute.
The attendant that brought us the hot milk. The bird lady outside the Tribute Center when Peeta and I returned for the Quell. The Capitol citizens rioting in the streets after the interviews.
This time Snow didn't just reap from the Districts. The Capitol considers the Victors theirs. This time he reaped their own.
Everyone has a breaking point.
"We call ourselves the Nationless," a voice raises from the back of the group and the hair on the back of my neck stands straight up. I know that voice. He makes his way to the front and my heart beats against my sternum as if seeking escape. My ears ring with the thump. His hair is white. He's thinner now, than the last time I saw him. Frailer. More like his brother. "You aren't the only ones who want to see my brother dead."
My eyes dart desperately to Haymitch but I can tell he has been completely taken by surprise.
We are in the presence of Frater Snow.
"Who is we?" Haymitch says curtly. He's never been easy to trust.
"We've had a small network of upper class citizens working in secret against the President for years now, although since the war reached our soil we've been more brazen about our loyalty," one says.
"Or lack thereof," clicks another.
The Nationless have been quietly sabotaging Snow and his administration for at least a decade. Planting its own in power. Sowing doubt.
"Planting who?" Cressida asks, her tone less incredulous than ours. She's ready to believe this. She herself is a Capitolite who wanted to rebel. What if District 13 had not recruited her? What if she hadn't known the right people? What would she be doing today? Would she be hiding in her home?
No. She'd be rebelling. In her own way, she'd be fighting back.
"Minister Nunn, for starters," a woman with royal purple hair and matching violet eyes brags.
My mind flashes back to that morning in the Capitol. Nunn sitting across the table from us, militaristic posture, hands clad in tight leather gloves. I thought for a moment I saw a flicker of something in her eyes… pity? Compassion?
"Why are you telling us this?" asks Finnick, skepticism dripping from his voice. "Why are you here?"
"We can get Katniss inside the mansion," Snow insists, and I can't pull my stare from him. The resemblance is eerie.
What exactly is the plan?" I ask bluntly. My fingers twitch for a bow.
We have to get to the mansion on our own, we learn. The Nationless doesn't have any kind of network to help us travel the streets.
"But if you can get there, I can get Katniss inside," Snow says.
"How?" Peeta asks.
"By making her invisible," Snow responds. Gale laughs. It's the first sound he's made.
"Right. I knew the Capitol inventions were crazy, but now you can turn her invisible?" he scoffs.
"We aren't physically going to make you invisible," Snow says to me, ignoring Gale completely. "We are going to turn you into someone that no one will see."
I'm there before everyone else.
"An Avox," I breathe. Snow nods. He's right. The people of the Capitol, even the Peacekeepers… no one looks at an Avox. No one will give them the dignity of recognition. An Avox is sub-human.
"Specifically, my Avox," Snow adds. "If you can get to the mansion, I will personally escort you to my brother. No one will give you a second glance, not even him."
"No. No! You'll just turn her in. This is a trap," Gale inserts himself, finally finding his words.
"If I wanted her dead, this place would be filled with Peacekeepers already," Snow responds sharply. "No one in the mansion will even think to question my presence. I'm the president's brother." He pauses, considering our team. Looking at the wary, distrustful eyes staring at him. "The Nationless is not just us."
My ears prick. Who are they working with?
Snow continues. "The Avoxes are with us. They came up with the name The Nationless. They don't have a district, they aren't from the Capitol. We are the financial branch, yes, but they are the driving force of our organization. Without their infiltration in every member of the administration's home, we'd be powerless. They steal intel. They assassinate threats. They communicate so we don't have to. We've never even been in the same room before," he references his colleagues. "Not like this. Katniss," he turns his attention to me. "I know this is an alliance you're reticent to make. I will get you inside. I will get you to the president."
"Why?" I breathe. Everyone has a story, Katniss.
"Everyone loves someone," Frater Snow answers with darkness in his voice. The president took someone from him. Someone unforgivable. "I will give you tomorrow to plan how you'll get to the mansion. The following morning I will wait for you until noon. I hope to see you there, Miss Everdeen."
He reaches his hand out to me, and the others follow suit. The Capitolites stand in a row, their hands extended toward us, offering a coalition. Our unit watches me intently. I reach out my hand and clasp Snow's. The rest of my team mirrors my action, and so we make a deal with the devil. As they turn to leave, one of the men breaks from the group and takes a step toward Finnick.
"Mr. Odair, I just wanted to apologize for –"
"Don't touch me!" Finnick yells as he recoils back from the man. All eyes dart to the door. Did we give ourselves away? The man moves toward Finnick, his face a mask of regret. In one swift movement I step between them and punch the man so hard in the face I feel his septum crush under the base of my palm. He cries out and blood spurts over his mouth and down his chin.
Finnick looks horrified, but then a laugh escapes his mouth. He clasps his hands over his mouth and giggles through his fingers like a boy.
"Downstairs," I order, and our crew retreats to the basement. A few minutes later Tigris brings down the food she had promised earlier. She offers us some stale hunks of bread, a wedge of moldy cheese, and half a bottle of mustard. It reminds me that even those in the Capitol don't have full stomachs these days. I feel obligated to tell Tigris about our remaining food supplies, but I'm so angry that she brought in traitors without even asking us first, my tongue remains silent. Instead, I scrape the mold off the cheese and divide the food up among us.
"Did you contact Plutarch, Tigris?" Cressida asks as she gnaws on the hard bread.
"No way to," Tigris shrugs. "He'll figure out you're in a safe house, don't worry."
Worry? I feel immensely relieved by the news that I won't be given – and then potentially have to ignore – direct orders from 13. We're on our own now. Aside from Sterling and Mac, we have no one left in our unit from 13. Now if only Tigris kept her mouth shut to everyone else. She leaves and we pass around some cans of food.
"I don't think it's safe to stay here overnight," I start.
"Where would we go?" Cressida asks.
"I have no idea, but our presence here isn't a secret anymore. There's only one way in and out of this cellar, if we get stormed by Peacekeepers we're all dead," I state.
"I think they were being honest with us, Katniss. I think they want you to kill Snow," Finnick says, and then grumbles under his breath, "As much as I don't want to admit it."
We argue. Most of the team is eager to believe them. Haymitch and I seem to be the only true skeptics.
"Look, I'm all for any plan that doesn't involve serving Peeta up to Snow on a platter, but we don't know these people!" I finally burst out.
We agree to stay the night at least. We don't have another option. Everyone sequesters themselves to their fur piles.
Peeta and I lie in the darkness. My mind vacillates back and forth between our two terrible options. I calculate and reset, I try to bury my emotions but I lack objectivity. Eventually I drift off, but wake up screaming with Peeta's hand over my mouth.
"Shhh, I'm right here. Shhh," he breathes, sliding his fingers from my lips and pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. I sit up in the darkness. Sterling stares at me, the whites of his eyes visible through the night. The rest of them know better.
"I'm sorry," I pant as I try to catch my breath. I was screaming in my sleep. I could have given away our location. I may have just gotten us all killed.
"No one heard you," Peeta says as he rubs my back. I drop back into our pile of furs, but I don't sleep. I stare up at the ceiling. "Do you want to talk about it?" he whispers, keeping his voice low so only we can hear it.
"No," I say bitterly. I'm sure it's the same nightmare I'll have every night for the rest of my life. Snow has Peeta. Peeta explodes in a fury of flames. I roll away from him, angry, but he curls his body up behind mine. I straighten my legs and inch myself away from him.
"Please don't shut me out, Katniss," he breathes into my hair. "I need you."
My skin flames. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I'm in love. I don't know what else I am, but I'm drenched in sweat and I feel like I'm suffocating. I pull away and find myself tearing off my layers until I'm in just my tee shirt. I drop back into the pile of fur and close my eyes. Behind me, I feel Peeta shift. I hear Xander's jacket hit the floor with a thud. I feel him hover as he unbuttons the silk shirt and tosses it over me into the pile of clothes. He drops down beside me, curling himself into my back again. He tugs his tee shirt up a little, and pulls up mine as well, until our skin meets. I feel him exhale.
"Don't do it," I beg softly.
"I won't unless I have to," he says. Tears burn in my eyes and I gulp down a sob. This isn't the place. Peeta presses a kiss to my neck and pauses. "What's this?" he says, tugging on the tiny silver chain on my neck. My heart slams inside my chest.
"Nothing," I say quickly, pulling up my collar. He props himself up on an elbow and looks at me.
"What is it, Katniss?" he asks again. I reach behind my neck and unclasp the chain, pulling the necklace from my throat. I roll over and face Peeta in the dark. When his eyes spy the ring, he swallows. I don't have a speech, like he did with the locket. I can't tell him his family needs him. They're dead. Instead, I reach my hands up behind his neck and clasp the necklace around him. The ring pads gently into his chest, a tiny bird's nest entangled in silver branches. All I have is a confession he already knows.
"I need you," I say quietly. Peeta doesn't stop looking at me. "I want you to give that back to me one day," I whisper. He nods, but it's more an acknowledgement than a vow. He won't make a promise he can't keep. I roll away from him and stare at the wall.