AN: Well... My trip to New Orleans was postponed. So everyone gets a new chapter to celebrate!
ALSO, I am sooooooo excited to have reached the 100 reviews mark. I can't believe that so many people are enjoying my story. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review.
I disclaim
BIG Thanks to Rain is my Refuge for betaing for me! Without her the whole thing would be a huge mess of random commas and spelling errors.
Carlisle's POV
Love is an emotion with which I have little to no experience. Having lived for several centuries, it wasn't often that I happened upon a situation that caused me confusion and yet I found the smile slipping off of my face and a lump burrowing itself within my throat.
I couldn't understand why this was affecting me so severely. After all, I love Edward as much, if not more than I would my own son, and never have I felt so… panicked. My hands clenched the steering wheel even tighter and I could hear the material groan in protest.
I never gave much consideration to the thought of falling in love with someone. Considering my livelihood, I doubted very seriously that anyone could possibly love a monster. I never felt the desire to look at a human in that light and other vampires considered my diet to be laughable at best. With my stance in the middle ground, I was a solitary creature; until Esme.
She was probably growing worried, waiting at home for me. Part of me wished nothing more then to press down upon the accelerator and yet for the first time, a part of me wanted to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction and hide. I was 300 years old for Christ's sake! This shouldn't affect me the way it was.
The ride home took much less time then it normally did. We have no secrets in our house, thanks to our dearly beloved mind-reader, and so I knew that as soon as I came within his fine-tuned radar range, the cat was out of the bag. It would only be a matter of time before Esme found out that I was… I was in love with her.
I pulled into my normal spot under the carport and took much longer than usual picking up my briefcase and opening the door. Not surprisingly, Edward was sitting in the kitchen, staring up at me from his spot at the dining room table with a big, smug grin on his face. My eyes narrowed and he gasped in mock horror as threats filled my mind.
"Kick me out? Why Carlisle… you wound me."
"Well then… stop smirking. It's not funny. Where is she?"
"In the library, she's been ever-so-anxious for you to arrive," his eyes danced with mirth.
"Very mature Edward," I grumbled, my eyes narrowing again. I placed my briefcase upon its normal resting place on the counter by the door and sighed wearily.
"I don't understand why you are so worked up over it," Edward followed me into the living room.
"Keep your voice down!"
He obligingly brought his tone down, "what makes you think that she will be any thing less then pleased at your inevitable epiphany?"
"Will she?" My eyes turned eagerly to stare into those of my son.
"Well now… it wouldn't really be fair for me tell you…"
My thoughts turned dark once more and visions of Edward packing to go live in a gutter filled my head.
"Now, now Carlisle… play nice." He was enjoying this way too much. "You'll have to ask Esme yourself. I am going on a hunting trip in Alaska; catch up with Tanya you know?" Before I could open my mouth to beg he was out the door and up the drive.
Esme's POV
My eyes stared out the window, eagerly following the path of the headlights through the trees. Carlisle was home, finally. I glanced at the clock. He was only four hours late. I flipped a page in my book absentmindedly, eyes following the words but not quite comprehending. It was a conscious effort to stop myself from hurtling down the stairs and throwing myself into his arms. I was a grow woman…well vampire, and I was not going to be so needy. The poor man would feel suffocated. It wasn't his fault that I couldn't last a whole day without his presence.
Snatches of a muffled conversation drifted up the stairs:
"Well then… stop smirking. It's not funny. Where is she?"
"In the library, she's been ever-so-anxious for you to arrive."
A lump grew in my throat. Was I that obvious? I missed Carlisle's specific response but distinctly caught the sound of grumblings, and the lump grew larger. My hands shakily closed the book and placed it upon the coffee table. He was annoyed at me. I was too clingy and he was fed up with my antics. Of course, he was too much of a gentleman to say anything… such feelings had probably been building up over the weeks. No wonder he spends so much time at the hospital, so many hours over shift. He doesn't want to come home to someone who is incapable of leaving his side and giving him peace for five seconds!
Why couldn't I control myself? Why did I have to go and screw up this life too? I gritted my teeth and toyed anxiously with the ends of my hair. This couldn't continue. I had to be stronger then this. I had to prove to Carlisle that I could live without him and that he doesn't have to feel the need to come running at my every single, unnecessary whim. I straightened my back and picked my book back up again, determined not to acknowledge he was even home.
Try as I might however, it was easier said then done to distract myself within the pages. I had already read this novel twice and so the plot held little interest for me. Carlisle's soft footsteps upon the stairs broke me from my self-pitying stupor and I jerked slightly, denting the coffee table with my knee. My eyes bore holes into the page of the book as I heard the doorknob twist and the soft footsteps enter. Carlisle's sweet scent filled the room and I glanced over the top of my book at him, not wanting to seem rude.
"Hello," I murmured demurely, "good day at work?"
"Awful," he answered honestly before sitting in an armchair opposite me. "What are you reading?"
"As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner," I barely lifted my eyes from the page.
"Hm…" Carlisle seemed to be at a lost for what to say next. His eyes flicked from the door to the couch I was sitting upon, to the bookshelf and then back at me. The lump formed in my throat again. My clinginess was causing him to feel uncomfortable… and in his own house! He finally seemed to find a point to discuss next and I could hear the air hiss as he brought in a breath to speak again.
"I noticed you planted another lilac bush by the fountain, they look marvelous."
I nodded my head and turned another page in my book. "I quite agree. Thank you for allowing me the space to plant them."
He frowned, "Esme, we've been over this. Everything that is mine is yours as well."
I tried to smile convincingly, "I know, and it's very generous of you, so thank you." I returned to my book, attempting to make my eyes follow the lines while not really grasping any notion of where I was. How could I have let it progress so far? I took advantage of his never-ending wealth of kindness! The lump was still growing larger in my throat and I was not sure how much longer I could keep up my physical façade.
"You know… I'm feeling kind of restless. I think I'm going to go for a walk. Will you be alright by yourself for a while?" I marked my place in the book and sat it down upon the table. Carlisle's tawny eyes met mine.
"Of course," he murmured. I sat up from the couch and glided quickly towards the door.
Carlisle's POV
I watched as Esme stepped gracefully out the door and I frowned, my brows furrowing in confusion. She was acting very off today… like something was bothering her. Wouldn't Edward have told me if she was upset about something? I strained to remember all of our conversations in the past couple of days. If I'd learnt anything in the last three centuries it's that women can be extremely fickle creatures and the littlest slip of a tongue can throw them into a temper.
I continually drew a blank. She wasn't exactly… angry looking. She seemed rather…uncomfortable. But what could have caused her discomfort…
My eyes widened at the memory of Edward and our conversation downstairs. He wasn't exactly quiet. Could she possibly have overheard? My head fell atop my hands, a lump lodged deep in my throat. She probably heard everything. I kept forgetting she was a newborn vampire with hearing even more advanced then my own.
At least she answered my question for me. There seemed to be no possible way Esme could hold the same feelings for me. She was probably walking the woods right now trying to think of the best way to let me down gently. How could I have been so foolish?
In my defense, it did seem as though she found me physically attractive. I caught her staring at my chest several times when we went swimming a few months ago, and whenever my eyes caught hers she would look extremely sheepish, as if a blush was begging to come forward to the surface. We held long conversations easily, talking hours upon hours through the night, and I was always the gentleman. Not to sound too terribly conceited but why didn't she hold the same affections for me?
I sighed wearily for what felt like the tenth time that night and trudged downstairs to my study, barricading myself in to wile away the days until Edward came back. I would happily give my right leg for his power right about now…
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