That night, after the sun had long since sunk out of the sky and the stars were sprinkled across the inky expanse above me, I lay staring at their twinkling light; trying to focus on my breathing so as to clear my head.
Inhale.
Everyone had been avoiding me all day, ever since the Witch came. Edmund won't even look at me and Peter had to send me away when I went to their tent. He wouldn't listen to me either… no. I wouldn't think about those things.
Exhale.
What if they never forgave me? What if this one thing was going to hover between us forever? Breathe…
Inhale.
It was all so wrong. It's not as if I had planned to keep the truth from them forever; I only wanted to wait and tell them at the right time. If I could have explained, everything would have been fine. But my mother had to go and ruin everything. I wanted to explain now, but how could I when no when except Lucy would speak to me? Even Susan was treating me coldly.
This time, when I exhaled, I sat up. The wind stirred my hair slightly and I brushed it out of my eyes. I looked back at the collection of dark shapes that was camp. I could run, if I wanted to. I could escape to Archenland or Calormene and hide myself away; never have to face my problems. But I was done running. I stood up and headed toward the camp. My feet were almost silent on the soft grass. I entered Edmund and Peter's tent quietly and knelt next to Edmund.
The moonlight shining through the flap of the tent shone upon his face, which was peaceful in sleep. I wondered what he was dreaming about, but some things are meant to be secret, and dreams are one of those things. I gently shook his shoulder.
His eyes opened slowly and, after blinking a few times, found my face. He did not look angry and he did not shout. Maybe he saw something in my expression and understood, because he sat up quietly and walked with me out of the tent.
We walked together in silence until we reached the hill I had been laying on. We sat down and stared across the expanse of water that would be all but invisible if the moon were not so bright.
"We're not so different, Edmund, you and I." I finally said, keeping my eyes on the horizon.
"We're not even the same species." Edmund mumbled spitefully.
"No. We're not. But you see, Edmund… well, take this ocean, for instance. It's infested with an algae that strangles swimmers to death, you know."
Edmund scrunched up his nose and suddenly looked at the water as if it were a person riddled with a disease that he was afraid to catch.
"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked.
"Everything. Because since you have no experience with this lake and have never gone swimming in it, you believe that it is indeed filled with a man-killing algae. And because man-killing algae is so horrible, you can no longer see this ocean as the beautiful water you did a moment ago. Now you see it only as a breeding ground for man-killing algae. Am I correct?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, you see, Ed, you have to step back and look at the water. Really look. And remember. When we rode past that same ocean yesterday, what did you see?"
"Naiads swimming."
"And from what I told you about naiads, what do you know to be true?"
"They would never allow their water to become so infested…" Edmund said, his eyes lighting up slightly.
"Precisely. Edmund… think."
"Aslan… he would never have welcomed you so dearly if you had really betrayed him so badly. And the Witch wouldn't have thrown you in the dungeon."
I nodded slightly and Edmund looked back over the water. His face had changed and he looked at the ocean as if it were some kind of treasure; like he had unlocked a secret from it that he didn't know before.
So that is how, in my own way, I apologized. And that's how Edmund forgave me.
We must have sat there for quite a while and eventually must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, Peter was running up the hill and yelling our names, interrupting my secret world of dreams.
"Evelyn! Ed!" he shouted, running up to us and giving us a strange look. He soon set it aside, though, and refocused himself to the reason he had come.
"Pete?" Edmund said groggily, rubbing his eyes, "what is it?"
"Something's happened." Peter said, "something bad." He glanced at me when he said this and there was something ominous in his expression that scared me. It sent chills slowly creeping up my spine and I shivered.
"What?" Edmund asked again, more alert now.
"It's about Aslan…" Peter said dubiously, "a dryad just sent word… from Susan and Lucy… Aslan is dead." He said, and there was such a sense of finality in his words that I knew at once they must be true.
"B-but… he can't be! Not now!" Edmund said, leaping to his feet. I remained where I was and stared at the hard-packed ground beneath me. Aslan was dead. How could this be? But I knew immediately what He must have done. Oh, that sweet old Lion. He had sacrificed Himself for Edmund and I and now I could never repay him.
"It's true." Peter said gravelly.
"Then you'll have to lead us!" Edmund said suddenly, and I glanced up in surprise at his willingness for his brother to lead.
"I can't!" said Peter.
"Aslan believed you could." I said, standing up. I wanted to weep for the death of my Father figure but I knew this was not the time. I wiped away the tears that I found had welled up in my eyes and looked at Peter encouragingly.
"And so do I." Edmund added. Both of us looked at Peter and he seemed to realize what he had to do. He nodded slightly and I might have smiled if the situation had not been so dire.
The next few days were hectic and full of chaos. The entire camp was sent into a frenzy preparing for battle. Everyone was shaken up by the loss of Aslan and many were discouraged. But Peter proved to be an encouragement to them all and worked tirelessly.
My life in those days in mostly a blur of weapons, training, and war strategies. There is one night, however, that sticks out in my mind.
It was two days before the battle at some ungodly hour of the night and I, having not slept in a day, was still awake planning with Peter, who likewise had not slept. The word planning in this situation may be misperceived, however, because in actuality we were arguing as loudly as we could without waking everyone in the camp. Just to save you from lack of interest, I will skip to the end stretch of the argument.
"I KNOW the Witch's plans, Peter! I helped her design them! And I don't know if you noticed, but one person in this tent has been to war before, and it's NOT YOU!" I yelled at Peter, leaning over the table, which at that point may have been the only thing that was stopping me from strangling him.
"I am not the one making accusations here! I don't know why you're overreacting!"
"Overreacting?!"
"Yes! And you're being stubborn, too! What will it take to make you admit you're wrong?"
"You can't because I'm NOT wrong!"
Peter huffed.
"Maybe if Ed were here he could calm you down."
"What is THAT supposed to mean?!"
"Nothing. But did it ever occur to you that the Witch may have CHANGED her plans knowing you switched sides?!"
I opened my mouth to make a point, then realized that I had none. It had not occurred to me and it was quite honestly stupid for it not to. Perhaps if I had been functioning on a full night sleep it would have, but it is impossible to know. I shut my mouth again, then sat down, for the first time realizing just how exhausted I was.
"Oh Peter." I said, holding my head in my hands, "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? It's all so stressful- the war and the arguing and… Aslan… I just am not myself. Perhaps I am in the fact that I am stubborn but… Oh Pete. What are we doing?"
"What we have to." Peter said with a small sigh, "But it is already in my heart to forgive you because in other places I am equally in the wrong. Could you possibly find it in yourself to forgive me?"
"Dear boy," I said with a smile, "of course. A thousand times over. But now I think it's best we both get to sleep. It is too late and the day is too near."
He nodded and with a hug we departed to our respective tents. I slept most of the next day and when I awoke, both Peter and I acted as if the entire argument had not happened. The only difference between before this occurrence and after it was that we were closer, somehow. As if a special bond had formed that night. After that, any time we saw any of the Pevensies arguing, we simply glanced at each other and smiled. And we understood.
Eventually, though, we did make our plans. We compromised over nearly everything and Edmund often looked at Peter incredulously as if he was amazed that he had somehow made me calm down a bit. Before I knew it, and before I wanted to, we were getting into our armor before the battle. I sighed as I pulled on my chainmail and my skirt over that. I thought about the last time I had dressed like this.
It suddenly occurred to me to be afraid. Not just of dying, but also of leaving. What if I was sent away again somehow? Yes, Aslan was gone… but it didn't feel like it. I could feel his power running through me, as I always had. Perhaps it was only my imagination.
I suddenly heard my name called from outside my tent. I recognized Peter's voice and I quickly laced up my armor and headed to the door. Peter stood just outside it wearing a loose tunic and holding his breastplate.
"What is it, Peter?" I asked him.
He held up his breastplate and gave me an embarrassed smile.
"Do you mind…?"
I half laughed and waved him in and then helped him correctly put on his armor and buckled it up for him.
"A knight of Narnia who can't even put on his own armor…" Peter joked, but he quickly sobered up, "and everyone expects me to win a war."
I looked up at him and gave him a reassuring smile.
"You'll be fine, Peter. You're strong. Aslan believed in you, Edmund believes in you, and so do I. Besides, it's alright that you can't put on armor. You are from…"
"England." He said with a small chuckle. My Narnian tongue had trouble with the foreign word.
"Precisely. And from what I can gather, they don't really going around wearing breastplates. You're going to be okay, though. The universe has a way of working everything out."
"You're much too mature for a twelve-year-old, you know that?" Peter said.
"Why thank you." I said in response. We then headed out of the tent together, arm in arm.
Edmund caught sight of us almost immediately and ran over. "What were you too doing?"
I opened my mouth to say that I had been helping Peter get dressed, which admittedly would have sounded very inappropriate, but I didn't realize it at the time. Luckily, Peter beat me to it.
"We were just discussing battle tactics." He said without missing a beat. I realized then that Peter didn't want his brother, or anyone probably, to see how scared he was.
"Well it's a bit late for that now." Edmund said, fiddling with his helmet, which he held in his hands. "We've got to get going."
We all nodded and suddenly the whole situation seemed a lot more dangerous. It hadn't really clicked that we were going to war until we actually were. I took a deep breath and we all marched toward our horses; our hearts heavy with what was to come.
Peter tried to help me onto my horse, and although it was chivalrous, I didn't let him. I had always believed that it was better for a Queen to be strong rather than simply a woman who made declarations and wrote on scrolls all day. It was not until many years later that I realized that strong and arrogant are two very different things.
When we first saw the Great Field where the battle would take place, my heart sank even deeper into my chest, but as it turned out, war involved a lot of waiting. We got into position and waited… and waited… and waited. You'd think if someone was going to attack you, they'd at least be reasonable and attack you at a nice time of the day, right?
Finally, scouts brought back news of the army coming over the horizon. I tensed up and let Peter listen as the gryphon recounted the army's numbers.
"Numbers do not win a battle." I said, mostly in an attempt to calm down Peter.
"No," he agreed, "but I sure bet they help."
It wasn't long until I felt the earth begin to shake and a dark mass formed on the horizon. I turned to Edmund.
"You'd better go," I said with a glance up toward the cliff where Edmund would be stationed, "stay with the archers. It's safer there."
"You get to stay at the front lines." He mumbled while fumbling with a sword a bit.
"That's because I know what I'm doing. I've been fighting since I was six. Go on. And stay out of the way."
"But I can help!" he said.
"But I don't want you getting hurt!" I replied quickly. I glanced at him and then quickly and impulsively gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now go." I said, pushing him away with one last look at his scared and possibly blushing face. I then turned away and returned to Peter's side; leaving Edmund to head to the cliff.
"Are you ready?" Peter asked me. I gulped and nodded.
"Me neither." Peter replied and I almost smiled. The witch's forces were gaining quickly. I climbed onto my horse and took a deep breath. Time seemed to slow down as I leaned forward and urged the horse to advance. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster with every step we took. The army got closer and closer until I could see the whites of a Minotaur's eyes… I swung my sword and felt it hit its mark. When I pulled it back, it was smeared with blood. The battle had begun.
I don't remember much more than a rush of adrenaline and a constant fight for my life. I don't remember how I lost my horse, but at some point I found myself on the ground and just got up and started running. At one point when I looked down, I saw that my arm was covered in blood. I just shook my head and kept running and fighting. I saw the Witch a few times as she turned our soldiers to stone.
I had just defeated a dwarf when I felt a rush of cold sweep over me. I turned around quickly and saw Edmund with his sword out standing next to the witch, who held the broken remains of her wand in her hand. For a moment, I was filled with joy; Edmund had done it! He had destroyed her main source of power. But then, she raised the jagged wand. I watched in horror as she stabbed it into Edmund's stomach.
I felt my heart skip a beat and my hands started shaking. I heard someone screaming nearby and my head started swimming. Without realizing it, I was half running and half stumbling toward Edmund. An ogre stepped in my way and I instinctively stabbed him with my dagger. The stone in the hilt was completely green and suddenly the ogre froze as he turned to stone.
I stumbled back and suddenly realized I was the one screaming. I stared in silent horror at what I had done. I shook my head and closed my eyes as if that would block out the part of me that had the Witch's ice flowing through my veins. I opened my eyes back up and ran toward Edmund again. Nothing else mattered right now; I just needed to make sure he was still alive. I faintly registered Peter fighting the Witch somewhere off to my right, but I ignored them.
I fell to my knees as I reached Edmund's side. There was a gaping hole in his abdomen and he was gasping for air. I pressed my hands over his wound and tried to stop the bleeding. I watched as my hands turned wet and red.
"Ev…" I heard him say weakly. I turned to him and did my best to give him an encouraging smile.
"Hey Ed."
"Am I…" he started, but I shushed him.
"You're going to be fine, Edmund. I'm right here and I won't let anything happen to you."
He smiled slightly.
"I know." He said with a deep breath.
I took a look around and wanted to cry. We were losing and it was clear. Peter and the Witch were nowhere to be seen and our forces seemed sparse. I was just about to lose hope when I felt something wonderful spread through my body. I looked toward the horizon and saw a great lion framed by the sun.
"Aslan…" I said breathlessly.
That's when the tables turned. I saw satyrs, gryphons, and centaurs start to force back the Witch's forces. I laughed out loud with happiness.
"Edmund, it's Aslan, do you see-"I started, but when I turned back to look at Edmund he was unconscious. I felt my heart drop again.
"Oh Aslan, please hurry…" I mumbled to myself. I kissed Edmund's forehead and waited. I'm not sure how long it was before I felt a sort of power sweep over the field like a strong wind. I knew without knowing how that my mother was dead. In that moment, perhaps I should have felt something. She had raised me after all, but I felt only worry for Edmund.
It wasn't long before I saw the three other Pevensies running toward us. I removed Edmunds head from my lap, where I had placed it sometime before.
"It's okay, Edmund. Your family is here now." I walked toward Aslan to leave Ed with his siblings. The Lion smiled as I approached him and I wrapped my arms around his mane. For the first time in a very long time, tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Oh, Aslan, I thought you were dead!"
"I apologize, my dear. But it was the only way to save you and the Son of Adam."
"You sweet old Lion." I said as I kissed his brow. He smiled.
"Now I must heal our fallen." He said, and then he was gone. I could see from where I was that Edmund was sitting up and hugging his siblings. I smiled. I had a feeling that things would be just the way they should be now, for a long time.
And I was right.
The Pevensies had their coronation two days later. I was on my way to the Great Hall, dressed in a flowing gown of scarlet and gold, when I saw Peter's head poke out from his room.
"Evelyn!" he said with concern.
I frowned.
"Peter, what's wrong?" I asked, rushing over to him.
He held up his tunic.
"How do I even put this on?" he asked with an awkward grin.
I chuckled. And I can safely say that to this day, Peter can't properly put on his armor by himself.
Eventually, we all got to the coronation on time and properly dressed. I smiled as each of the Pevensies got their crowns. Lucy looked ecstatic, Susan looked queenly, Peter looked radiant, and Edmund looked truly happy for the first time since I met him. The party we held after was glorious. The food was lavish and the dancing was lovely.
Peter asked me for my first dance and I readily accepted. We were both stiff and awkward at first, but by the end we were comfortable (although very bad) dancers. Edmund danced with me after that, and although he stepped on my toes a lot, it was very nice. And that was how our Golden Age began. It was fifteen years later before we left. We were out hunting… but I can't skip everything that happened in between. That's no fun.
A/N: I'M SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO WRITE SUCH A BAD CHAPTER I PROMISE THE NEXT ONE IS BETTER AND I'LL POST IT RIGHT AWAY AHHHHHH! Yeah I had major writer's block if you couldn't tell…. I'm just terrible at fighting chapters. BUT I FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK. WOOOOOO! I'd like to thank you if you're still reading this. Especially ThalicoRules for putting up with my horrible inconsistency. You're amazing!