Look I'm heading off to uni tomorrow and I wanted to get this done before I left. Due to one of my possible chapters giving me zero inspiration, when I actually sat down to write it – and I mean I couldn't even write down a starting sentence –the number of remaining chapters for this has reduced to two, so the chapter after this will be the last and it is actually finished. This one is for PhantomoftheBasket.

Thank you to Raven Black and Jinks Loather, Skoteinos Metamfiezomai, Avatarded, Mystik Genie, Lothiriel, Phantomof the Basket, Miss Mary Lou, Whispers of music and Lady Moon Dragon for your lovely reviews.

Disclaimer: Don't own characters or the songs.

Erik had an I-pod

We are going to bring back our old friend the swirling vortex. Why? Because as I said before, vortexes are fun. In this case some scientists in the 21st Century had been messing with some technological gadgety things when they happened to accidentally rip a hole in the fabric of reality thus causing a gateway between the real world and that of fantasy. They then did something very silly in that they decided to tell everyone and were promptly locked up for their trouble. Meanwhile the niece of one of said scientists – merely a niece because its always a niece – unceremoniously nicked off with the technology and harnessed it into a small household object, a remote control to be precise, hence the reason that it was listed under items that transport people between worlds in the Jack Sparrow chapter. Anywho, on one cold, rainy day the niece in question was bored and decided that it would be fun to mess around with some book characters by making them do bizarre things, which is a very cruel thing to do when one is bored…and if anyone spotted the irony there, Kudos to you. She decided that rather than inflicting them with her presence she'd freak them out by dropping random objects into scenes in their book. It was while she was cackling evilly to herself about this diabolical plan that she tripped and fell on the remote, causing the hole to appear, simultaneously knocking over a table and causing the objects on it to tumble into the swirling vortex. It wasn't until after the rip had sealed itself the niece realised that her I-pod was one of the items…

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Our hero – the I-pod – landed smack in the middle of the Phantom's lair as he was attempting to compose his theme tune. The small electronic device clattered to the candle lit table on top of sheets of music and turned itself on, having fallen against the 'on' button.

Erik was absorbed in hitting his organ in order to discover the perfect introductory tune that would be dramatic enough and would make half the listening population leap ten feet in the air.

The I-pod was on at top volume and due to the general echo and usual silence of the lair Erik would have been able to hear it clearly had he not been drowning the music out. Consequently, when he banged his head against the keyboard in total despair and didn't move, the dulcet tones of the I-pod reached his ears the moment the echoes of crashing faded out.

Raising his now aching head Erik proceeded to hunt down the source if this mysterious music. When he found the small device he picked it up carefully between a thumb and finger and dangled it warily in front of his eyes. He liked to think himself a rational man and did not believe in witchcraft, however the appearance from nowhere of a small rectangular object that was flatter than a slice of bread, from which strange sounds emerged, was sufficient to shake the belief just a little bit.

However, after repeatedly poking the device with a candle stick Erik decided that it was harmless and promptly set to examining it, swiftly followed by dismantling it when he realised it was something manmade.

Some little time later the Phantom sat in his chair and stared fiercely at the now reassembled I-Pod.

By trial and error he had succeeded in mastering the buttons and now had it playing on top volume so he could hear it out the earphones without putting them in.

He was actually listening to see if he could spot the perfect theme tune for any dramatic entrances or events he had to conduct. Little did Erik know that while he was searching for said theme tune, he was in actual fact, completely missing the introduction of the two new managers, but in the great scheme of things he probably wouldn't have minded because without a good theme tune it was totally pointless to go around causing terror. Terror in complete silence was not at all frightening.

It was at this point that the 'Phantom of the Opera' theme tune came on. Erik jumped out of his skin and then listened for a moment, nodding sagely to himself and deciding that it was just the intro he needed to make a dramatic entrance…of course by the time he decided this the I-Pod had moved on, and being on shuffle it took Erik a frantically long time to search through the entire thing and find the tune again. In this time he heard more songs and picked out a singer that he particularly liked the sound of and endeavoured to find her to help him compose his music and bring it to life.

So, now complete with his very own theme tune Erik set out to hunt down a person that he had picked out from the I-Pod, known as Christina Aguilera.

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Christine was sitting in the chapel praying for her father and keeping her ears peeled for any sound of her Angel of Music who hadn't spoken to her for quite sometime and whom she was a tad miffed at because she was sure he could've got her that leading role in Hannibal if he'd wanted to. That was when she heard his sweet, melodious tones echo through the room.

"Christina. Christina."

Christine jumped to her feet, ecstatic. "You came teacher! You came!" she exclaimed.

There was an expectant silence.

"Christina?" came the baffled voice again.

"No," Christine shook her head. "It's Christine. I thought you knew that by now."

"Christine!" the voice scoffed. "I'm looking for a Christina Aguilera!"

There was the sound of footsteps fading away and Christine was left sitting in the dark with a puzzled frown on her face.

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Erik was unable to find Christina Aguilera and so shut himself up in his dungeon and determined to write her an opera that she could perform. Surely if he demanded that the managers make Christina Aguilera sing it then they'd hunt her down at all costs.

Now, during this dedication in writing an opera Erik was completely oblivious to everything that was going on inside the opera house, therefore Christine was still a chorus girl, Raoul was still oblivious to her existence and Buquet was still alive.

After just over three months of rigorous hard work and creativity Erik had finally finished his opera. He gave a relieved sigh as he put it quietly to one side and sat perfectly still for approximately five minutes, in which time the euphoric feeling of finishing something dwindled away and a scowl was left on his face.

"I'm bored…" he muttered and then turned to his best friend, the I-Pod, who had been quietly inspiring him this whole time, playing virtually non-stop (he had somehow figured out a way to charge the batteries) while Erik was in the same room.

"What should I do?" he asked the I-pod imploringly.

'Its murder on the dance floor

But you better not kill the groove.'

Erik blinked. The I-pod wanted him to kill someone at the masquerade…as long as it wasn't this 'groove' person. He shrugged. That wouldn't be a problem…that Buquet chap had what was coming to him.

'Gonna burn this goddamn house right down'

He frowned. He wasn't quite prepared to do that…yet. Maybe later.

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Consequently the masquerade was a very pleasant evening until Buquet's corpse dropped onto the dance floor and everyone ran away screaming.

Erik then put in his appearance, playing his theme tune using the I-Pod, which he had adapted to play its music without the earphones – several years ahead of its time.

"I have an opera here," he waved it in the air, "and I've spent the last six months of my life completing it, so now I'm going to throw it carelessly on the floor because for some reason it makes me look cool."

Erik then promptly did as he said and a small group of fangirls, who had not run away, all swooned.

"His total disregard for his own work is so hot," one cooed.

Erik gave all the fangirls a strange look then turned to the managers, who had also not run away, conveniently.

"I want you to put this on with Christina Aguilera as the star. No excuses."

Then Erik promptly vanished in a cloud of smoke…of course the hole in the floor gave away where he'd disappeared to and thus ruined the whole spooky mystique.

This left the managers staring at each other in bewilderment.

"Christina who?"

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Some considerable time later when all the preparations were finally completed and the audience was in the Opera House, Erik stood in the wings and stared in horror as Christine swayed onto the stage swinging a basket from her had carelessly.

"What?!" the Phantom bellowed and strode on stage, completely missing his cue. The audience all perked up thinking that this drama was part of the Opera and much more exciting than that whole singing malarkey.

"Who is this?" Erik addressed the managers, jabbed his finger at Christine whose bottom lip quivered and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm your former student," she sobbed and threw herself at Erik's back holding onto him and wailing, "I love you Angel! Why did you go away?"

Erik rolled his eyes and attempted to prize her off muttering 'fangirl' under his breath, not that he knew what one was.

"I – asked you - " he grunted as he tried to unlock Christine's fingers which seemed to be glued together around his chest, " – to hire – Christina Aguilera - "

Finally he gave up and turned to Christine, picking her up and throwing her unceremoniously over one shoulder promptly dumped her in the orchestra pit.

"But we don't know who that is!" one manager replied. "We thought you meant Christine."

The Phantom shook his head and sighed, "This will simply not do." With that he walked off the stage and chopped at one of the ropes. It just so happened that this rope held up the chandelier and it crashed to the floor sending the Opera House up in flames.

Over the roaring tongues of fire and screams of the fleeing masses a singing voice could be heard.

Burn baby burn,

Disco inferno

Burn baby burn

Erik was chuckling to himself and singing along to the I-pod when a giant black vortex opened up in the ceiling above him and a body dropped through landing ungracefully on the floor in front of him.

Erik blinked.

The figure got up and spotted the I-Pod.

"That…is mine," she stated calmly. "I would like it back." She held out a hand and Erik hissed at her.

"Precious is mine." He clutched the I-Pod to his chest and started to coo to it. "Isn't it precious? Precious doesn't want anything to do with smelly vortex girl now does precious?" He stroked the casing lovingly as the stranger – who you may have guessed was the niece – looked on in something like bewildered disgust.

"Listen," she said finally, oblivious to the burning wreckage all around her, "I've travelled across time, space and goodness knows what else to get that thing back, and I can tell you that it weren't a first class flight. Now give me the I-Pod!"

With that she tackled Erik to the floor, seized the I-Pod and before the Phantom could react by killing her, she pressed a button on the Remote in her pocket and vanished from his clutches.

There was total silence – aside from the fire and disintegrating Opera House – as Erik stood alone in the soot and ashes.

Lifting his head up to the heavens he screamed out:

"IT'S OVER NOW THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT!"

Sorry about the rushed ending. By the way, the whole irony thing in the first paragraph is to do with the fact that writing this sort of fanfic is entirely making characters do what they wouldn't normally do simply because I feel like it.