CHAPTER 10: TALKING POINTS

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight

My lips got lonesome for hers as soon as Leah rose from the bed. I sat up and watched while she covered up all that pulchritude with her robe. Damn, when she left, that meant that the exchange of prisoners would be completed soon.

Before she exited the room, she had explained about the nightmares Bella was having, and that's how she managed to land under the covers with me, not that I cared a hill of beans about that.

I sighed, content, leaning back on the pillow, no doubt with a goofy smile on my face. I was interrupted by a noise in the hallway. I leapt out of bed, opening the door to his knock. Jacob entered the room, and by his expression, there was no doubt about the color of his mood.

"Great night," I said, dreamily. Well it was for me, anyway.

"Good for you," he growled, exasperated.

"What's the matter, Jake? Bella turn you out of the bed?"

"Not exactly. She made sure I couldn't touch her tho'." He threw his arms up in the air. "You'd think I had some freakin' incurable disease or somethin'."

Snickering, I replied, "You do. It's called lovesickness, and boy, you've got it bad."

Jacob gave me the shut-your-mouth-idiot,-before-I-pound-you look. "Watch it, Call. I'm not in the best of moods."

Uh-oh, he used my surname. That was a bad omen. I knew I'd better close my trap tight if I wanted to retain my teeth.

He sunk down onto the mattress, his eyes just staring blankly at the wall. I was still basking in a hazy cloud of love, but I began plummeting back to earth, realizing that my bud wasn't faring as well.

It was so unbelievable; Leah and I were together—a couple, and in such a short time too. And here, Jacob had been over the moon for Swan two whole years. What was wrong with her anyhow? She was always hurting him, and being his best friend, it hurt me too.

I started getting dressed, and Jacob was still in the same position.

"Aren't you going to breakfast with us?"

"Not hungry."

That's understandable, you can't eat when your stomach is all balled up in knots. I stood there, helpless. There was nothing I could say or do to unravel it.

I risked getting him angrier by saying, "What are you going to do, stay here and mope, while the rest of us have fun?"

He sighed, answering, "I'll catch up to you a little later. Meet me in the lobby at nine."

# # # # #

Embry filled the doorway, a grin plastered all over his face. "You, girls ready?"

Leah's eyelashes fluttered. "You betcha, handsome."

But where was my wolf boy?

Quivering on the inside, I asked, "Isn't Jake coming?"

"He said he'd join us after we ate."

I felt the burning in my cheeks. It was my fault that he wasn't with us, and they both knew it.

A painful cramp started in my stomach. Well, no wonder. My best friend had been sliced and diced by my insensitive behavior.

I dragged myself along behind them, feeling like an ungrateful brat. Jacob wanted to bring me here. He was such a selfless person. God, at this moment, I hated myself and the way I always acted around him. Why couldn't I let my guard down?

. . . . .

The food somehow seemed flat, flavorless. I'm sure it wasn't the chef's lackluster ability, rather my guilt influencing my taste buds. I picked at it.

Leah ignored my pitiful appetite, instead concentrating on her sweetheart. "So, handsome, what are we doing today?"

There was a smile in his eyes as he said, "Sightseeing. We're going to drive around the other side of the Island, maybe do some more surfing if we can squeeze it in. And tonight, it's Luau time."

She turned to me. "Whaddya think, Bella?"

"Hmn, hmn."

"Gawd, can ya be any less enthusiastic?"

"She can try …"

Embry was only jesting, but I nearly sank into the wood of my chair in shame and remorse. I had to change my ways, and the sooner, the better.

# # # # #

Bella's actions last night really weighed on me. At first, I tried to laugh it off, but when Leah pointed out the absurdity of it all, those old feelings of rejection reared their ugly heads. What the hell did I havta do to win her heart? She loved me; she even said so … okay, so she was asleep at the time, but still …

I lay down on the bed and drifted off for a few minutes, dreaming that Bella kissed me again. I woke up with tears in my eyes, and all at once broke down, cryin'. Jeez, what a bawl baby I'd become. She'd finally worn me down. How could one little girl crush me like that? Godammit, I was sick to death of dreamin about our love. I wanted somethin' real. I wanted to hear her say she was in love with me—preferably while she was alert and awake.

The image in the mirror was a freakin' mess. My eyes were swollen and red. Would she care? Probably not. I cleaned up and got dressed, ready to take the elevator to the lobby.

# # # # #

Jacob walked toward us. His eyes were so red. Oh god, did I do that to him? Stupid question. Why else would he look like that?

"Hi, Jake," I squeaked. He ignored me, and instead sauntered toward the door. I could see the valet in front of the entrance waiting with our car. Jacob said something to Embry, who quickly assisted Leah into the front seat. He then came around to the rear door and helped me into the back as well.

Jacob was already in the vehicle, staring out the side window. He hadn't once looked at me since he got out of the elevator.

He sat there, stiff as a surfboard. "Are you all right?"

"No—why would I be?"

"Jake … I'm really sor—"

I reached for his hand, but he pulled it away, and cut off what I was about to say to him.

"Can we discuss this later? I don't want to talk to you right now, okay?"

Sitting back against the cushions, I felt my heart turn to a lump of lead. I really did it this time. Could I ever even hope to reverse the situation?

Leah was chattering away with Embry, her head leaning on his shoulder. Jacob and I were sitting far apart, not saying a word. There was a chill in the air where we were seated, despite his unusual heat.

Embry finally stopped talking long enough to realize how quiet we were being, and peeked over his shoulder. He gave Leah a quizzical look. She pivoted toward us, folding her arms over the top of the seat, her chin resting on one arm. "Are you guys alive back there?"

"Just barely," Jacob remarked. "Alive on the outside; dead on the inside."

He never said another word all the way over to the beach, at least not to me.

The boys rented two surfboards, and put them to use at Waimea Bay in Hale'iwa. Leah and Embry rode in tandem until Leah balked, and got to surf on her own.

Embry sat beside me for a little while as she skimmed the waves, but it was extremely awkward.

"Did you want to do some surfing today? You can come with me on my board. I don't think Lee would mind … much." He laughed, but I didn't find it too amusing.

"No. Thanks for the offer though. I'll just sit here and watch."

Jacob stayed away from me, spending his time in the ocean, either surfing or swimming. It was pretty humiliating to be left out, but I guess I deserved it.

Jacob was a veritable dolphin, cutting through the waves. Leah had his board, and drove it close to shore. She carried it with her, plopping it onto the sand, and grabbed a towel. "Hey, Tink, buck up. Jake's a softie. He'll forgive you by this afternoon. I'd bet my life on it."

Shading the sun from my eyes, I peered up at her. "I hope you're right, all this silence is killing me."

She rubbed the towel over herself, then tied it around her waist. "You havta admit, that was a rotten trick you pulled on him last night. His pride was badly injured. And you know how men are about their pride."

I lowered my head, and muttered, "I do now."

# # # # #

Maybe I was bein' mean, but I didn't let up. I kept my lips zipped all through lunch. Let her suffer for once. She'd put me through the wringer for all these years.

I made sure that there was no eye contact whatsoever. I was afraid if I saw the expression on her face, I might back down, and that was somethin' I wanted to avoid. And I didn't allow her to touch me either. The shoe was now on the other foot—see how she liked it.

On the way back, I still managed to appreciate the beautiful green-blue of the ocean, and the sight and scent of the leaves, trees and flowers.

We arrived at the hotel with enough time to shower and dress for the luau. I made up my mind to have that talk with Miss Clueless, so I crossed the hall and rapped on the door. Leah answered, her eyes rollin' in her head. "I knew it. You're ready to negotiate a treaty, huh? Damn, I should've made a bet with Em.

She did an about face, and yelled, "Tink, your guy is here to see you. Are ya decent?"

Bella walked slowly into the room, fear flickerin' in her eyes. Damn, she was gorgeous tonight, even tho' she looked like she was goin' to her own execution. Why did she havta look so good?

"Come walk with me."

Leah canted her head, and spoke to me as if I was in kindergarten. "Remember, the luau starts in an hour."

I snapped at her. "Don't get your pantyhose in a bunch. We'll be back in plenty of time."

Turnin' my back, I expected Bella to follow me down the hall. She did.

We walked along the shore a few yards, away from the hotel, and I gestured to her. "Sit."

I sat beside her, facing the sun as it began to sink beneath the horizon. We gazed at the scene quietly for a few minutes while I sorted out what needed to be said.

"How long have we known each other, Bells? I mean, since you came back to live with Charlie."

She timidly answered, "I don't know. A year or so?"

"Make that two."

"Gosh, has it been two years already?"

"Yeah, it has. But the point is, in all that time, did I ever once try anything that would make you worry I'd be draggin' you into the sack?"

"I guess not."

"You guess?"

"No, you never did."

"So, have I changed that much?"

"Well, no ... Jake, I'm sorry. I just overreacted, but I understand why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Bells, I'm hurt. You act like I'm some kind of freakin' monster. I'm not. I'm human, Bella. You think that just 'cuz I'm a guy I have no feelings. Believe me, I'm a human being with deep feelings."

With a shake of my head, I groaned, "I can't believe you still don't trust me after being friends all these years. I love you, and I'd rather cut off one of my legs than cause you any pain."

"I know that. So, what can I do to make things right between us?"

"I want you to be comfortable around me. You always seem so tense."

Bella sighed. "Okay, I can do that."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"All right then, let's get over to the luau before Lee has a hissy."

I stood, and reached down to pull Bella to her feet. We held hands on the walk to the Polynesian revue.