Author: Bookworm
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sydney and Vaughn ... through the eyes of Nadia

AN: Some of you, like me, are curious about Nadia's observations. Even more than Sydney, Nadia has been searching for a sense of belonging - her family. Romantic love seems secondary to her. It is in this light that I'm intrigued to explore what she gets and not get about the Sdy-Vaughn relationship.

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Coming To America

Nadia's POV

[S4 up to Ep 21]

I remember watching the movie "Coming to America" years ago and wondered what it would be like to live there. I imagined big houses, fast cars, trendy clothes, loud parties – in a word, Hollywood. It became some kind of fantasy escape, from my life in Argentina – where I had no family, few friends and not many opportunities.

Fast forward 15 years.

I had no idea I would be putting down roots in the USA – with a father, a sister and a new boyfriend.

Life certainly can surprise you. Sometimes wonderfully.

Mind you, the road that led me here has not been easy.

Given his history and his obsession, reconnecting with my father has been the most frightening and yet the most delightful at the same time. Whenever I started to feel at ease opening up to him, he would do something that made me question his motive. Every time I was ready to give up on our relationship, he found ways to show me I was his first priority.

What complicates matters is my dad's tenuous relationship with Sydney.

Words don't adequately describe how incredible it is to actually have a sister. Even though I grew up in an orphanage full of girls, I wasn't particularly close to any of them except Sophia. Perhaps we all understood too well the temporary nature of that "home" and we kept enough distance with each other to spare ourselves separation agony.

On the contrary, my connection with Sydney was almost instant. I knew I could trust her the day we met in that Chechen camp. I was overwhelmed when she convinced me how much she wanted us to be family by asking me to stay at her home.

We bonded quickly but I sensed that the topics of our fathers were somewhat off limit. I could respect her apprehension, though I thought she would have reconciled her past – since she seemed to be in a good place again in her life. I was shocked to see her strong reaction when she found my father in her living room after her mission to Russia. I shuddered at the contempt I saw in her eyes when she warned me not to trust Sloane – and I was torn between wanting to connect with my dad and trying to avoid letting him drive a rift with my sister.

I was relieved when she told me at target practice the next day she understood my need to know my father. My guess was she had a talk with Vaughn about Sloane after he came home that night. I could hear muffled conversation when I walked past their closed bedroom and knew they had stayed up.

Vaughn always seems to have a calming effect on Sydney. Even with the relatively short time I had to observe, I could see the depth of their relationship. That only baffled me more why my sister wasn't able to forgive my father for what he did to her. So I took advantage of our long flight to Estonia to probe.

"Sydney, can I ask you something? I hope you don't mind…" I see my sister taking a break from her mission prep.

"I'm all yours, Nadia. What do you want to talk about?"

"How are things with Vaughn? Now that he's moved in with you… Tell me it's none of my business if you don't want to talk about it. It's just … I don't know how it's like to be in that deep a relationship with someone." I tread carefully with such personal questions.

Sydney pauses to gather her thought – luckily she doesn't seem offended by my asking.

"Vaughn and I…" she begins pensively, "it feels like we've known each other forever. In reality, we have spent more time apart than we have together. And yet we both can't imagine life without the other person. If our past teaches us anything at all, it's that there are so many things we can't control and it will be ridiculous not to make the most of what we have now. It just feels right."

"I can tell how happy he makes you. It must be hard to find someone like that." I am not a hopeless romantic but I do believe there are pairings who are meant to be.

"What's most special about Vaughn is that he's the only person who sees the worst in me, around me, about me – and he still wants to be with me, nothing seems to faze him. You may soon get a taste of that, the more you get to know me." Sydney smiles at me half-jokingly.

"I think it's more likely I will scare you first." I retort, smiling back at her. "So Sydney, help me understand why you're still so angry at my father. Please."

She swallows looking down before facing me again, "I understand why you're puzzled." She lets out a soft sigh. "Yes, Sloane took my fiancé and then I met the man I love more than life itself as a result. But I cannot forget or forgive the fact that Danny, a truly wonderful person, died because Sloane had him killed to protect his evil schemes. He died because I trusted Sloane, only to find out he would stop at nothing to go after what he wanted – and I hated myself for it." She stops for a second. "Do I need to go on about Francine, who was my best friend and another decent, loving human being? Not to mention what he did to my friend Will and to Dixon." Sydney's disdain is apparent now but she is keeping her cool to not have me think she's angry at me.

I get quiet feeling selfish about wanting my sister to give my father a second chance.

"But Nadia," Sydney's expression softens, "I promise I won't stand in your way again whatever you want to do with your father. I don't see Sloane when I look at you – I see my sister."

"Thank you, Sydney – you have no idea how much this means to me." I'm beyond moved by how far she's willing to go to accept me.

"Dixon talked to me and it helped a bit. But when Vaughn asked me what I wanted to do about Sloane, I remember what he has done and is still doing for me." Sydney lets out another sigh. "You should know, Nadia – what our mother did to his father, to his family … is simply unforgivable. And he had lived with that for years when we met. I wouldn't blame him if he wanted nothing to do with me ever again when we found out who my mother really was and the crimes she committed. But he completely surprised me. Instead of shutting me out, he made sure he was there to protect me, to give me his shoulder to cry on. Unlike my dad, he never discourages me from getting to know her. He was even willing to keep an open mind about interacting with her, for my sake. I'm sure it tore him up inside – seeing her, working with her every day. But I've come to accept that's his special gift to me. And I want to also give that special gift to you. Because that's what you do for the people you love."

"Sydney, you're lucky to have Vaughn in your life – and I'm lucky to have you."

"He's definitely much more than just a pretty face." We burst into laughter as Sydney clearly wants to lighten the mood.

I can imagine why my sister is head over heels with Vaughn. He always puts her first – there isn't anything he wouldn't do for her. But I think the same is true for Sydney – she's willing to do anything when it comes to Vaughn. He is the only person she fully confides in, and there seems to be no secrets between them.

In hindsight, it was rather apparent that they had been secretly investigating his father's journal on their own, which eventually led us to uncover Sloane Clone.

He wasn't at all surprised when we found out she deviated from the plan to not let my father go after Drake alone. They must have plotted in advance for him to covertly arrange her transportation to rendezvous with my dad.

He also knew the truth about Irina's "death" as he discretely steered me away from wasting time on Bishop.

Their implicit trust in each other has been part and parcel of their attraction since the beginning. Eric told me he had learned long ago that there were things the two of them would decide to keep from everyone else but one another. I find that mind-blowing.

Growing up in an orphanage made me self-reliant. Being recruited into intelligence, and later finding out the betrayal of my mentor, only reinforced my belief to trust no one. Deep down, however, I couldn't dull the yearning to belong – to finally put down my guard and start trusting others. I want nothing more than something that is simple but pure, untainted by the evil I've encountered so often in my world.

I think that is why I fell for Eric. His life outside of APO is uncomplicated. His charm is childlike and he has such a great sense of humor. He is unpretentious and never tries to be someone he isn't. And he's carefree, content to live in the moment. I feel safe and relaxed being with him. Not to mention how he always manages to treat me like a princess. It feels good to be spoiled sometimes. Sydney tells me he keeps on gushing about how great I am in front of others.

I realize I missed being able to talk to him, laugh with him when we discovered Sophia's true identity last week and my world was falling apart. He was away for his grandfather's funeral. Sydney left for Cannes and my father soon joined her to go after Lazlo Drake. For the first time in my life, I didn't like the feeling of being all alone. That was when I learned how important those around me had become. I might not have shown it outwardly but I was appreciative of Vaughn looking out for me when I had no one else to turn to. He was like a perfect brother-in-law. He brought food to the house after work and struck up conversations during our meals. I actually learned a few interesting things about my sister, as well as Eric, over the couple dinners we shared. He would then go stay at Weiss' to give me space the rest of the evening.

Learning my dad has decided to join Elena was my undoing – but nothing prepared me for Dixon's revelation that my mother might be alive. I feel like my heart is constantly in my throat ever since I heard the news. I'm not naïve – I know if we find Irina Derevko, my life will become that much more complex. At the same time, I couldn't help but think how amazing it would also be to finally meet her, despite who she is or what she has done.

So here I'm today – on a plane across from Jack Bristow, with confirmation from Lucien Nisard that the woman I have only been able to dream about all these years is in fact not dead.

Less than nine months after coming to America, I seem to have found everything I've been searching for all my life. My family – my father, my mother, my sister. And a man who makes me happy.

They may be dubious, they may be ugly and they're definitely not fairy tale – but they are mine. And for that I'm thankful.

If there is one thing I learn watching Sydney and Vaughn is that they are perfect together – even though life is rarely perfect for them. I take comfort in believing that my family will be perfect for me, even if we did not start out with ideal circumstances.