Chapter 10: Breaking Storms

Meri Hewitt sat on a sofa in the Common Room, people-watching. She wasn't in a particularly good mood, which made things difficult, since it was her best friend's birthday party, and she ought to be having fun. The real problem was that Lily was part of the reason she was in a bad mood, and it wasn't even her friend's fault.

The party had, of course, turned into a large affair, with guests from more than just their own house. Meri suspected that Hugo was to blame for this; he'd overheard her and Lily talking about it and had got a bit overexcited and gone and told loads of people. He'd also told James and Louis, which was always a mistake. As a result, the Gryffindor Common Room was packed full, and there were garlands along the walls - courtesy of Lily's Ravenclaw cousin Roxanne, who was good at decorating - and balloons that made loud (and often rude) noises whenever you touched them - courtesy of Hugo and Rufus.

It was starting to get late, and Meri had noticed Fenella Belby glancing at her watch and then over at the first and second-years, who were still bouncing all over the place. Fenella wasn't a killjoy, - she'd turned a blind eye to the fact that there were many Hufflepuffs and several Ravenclaws in the Gryffindor common room, for example - but she did have some responsibilities as Head Girl. Meri knew that Albus, as a result of his conversation with Lily, had had a word with James (and it must have done some good, since James had so far behaved perfectly nicely), but knowing James and Louis, Meri seriously doubted that Albus would have been able to persuade them that alcohol wasn't a good idea. And if that was going to happen at any point, the kids really shouldn't be here.

Iseult Malfoy had really come out of her shell tonight, though, Meri thought, as she continued to watch the younger ones. The little girl had been even more subdued than usual for the last few weeks, and since Lily had told her the whole story, Meri knew why, but tonight it was as if a different girl had emerged. This Iseult was sharp and bubbly and confident, and had a cheeky answer for everything.

Lily herself was standing near Meri, flirting unwittingly with Seb Graves, her Quidditch team mate. James was watching balefully from across the room, but was being restrained from interfering by Rose. Relations between Lily and James had been strained since Lily had blown up at him over the Zeke Lucas and Scorpius Malfoy affairs. James, although he had shouted back at her at the time, did seem to have got the message and was now satisfying himself with glaring from afar. Meri hoped that his restraint would last the night, or there might be no common room left by morning. It took a fair bit to arouse Lily's temper, but once it was ignited, it could be explosive. Most people weren't even aware that she had a temper; Lily was known as the dreamy, easygoing one. Meri knew her well enough to know what lay underneath, but then so, presumably, did James. And while Lily had been annoyed about the rumours, she had been even more annoyed by her brother's interference.

Meri herself was feeling slightly overlooked, considering that she had been instrumental in organising the whole party. And she was sorry for Zeke too, who was watching Lily and Seb with a hurt expression on his face. Ever since her argument with James, Lily had been being obviously and slightly unnecessarily nice to Zeke, simply to make the point that her brother could not dictate her life. Meri knew that Lily wasn't even aware that this attempt to annoy James had been giving Zeke entirely the wrong message, but then, Lily was still refusing to believe that Zeke was remotely serious about it all. Anyway, she wasn't deliberately flirting with Seb. By Lily's code, she was just being friendly. It was just that Lily's 'friendliness,' when it came to boys, involved lots of wide-eyed smiles and hair twirling.

And Zeke was really kind of sweet, Meri thought miserably to herself. It wasn't a thought she let herself have very often, but in quiet moments like this, it sometimes crept in. She knew he was in love with Lily; he had been for ages. She knew that with Lily for a best friend, boys would never notice her. It was one of those things she usually just accepted with resignation and slight amusement.

Sometimes, though, it sucked.

"Fucking little wanker," James muttered to himself. "He's lucky I'm not kicking him off the team…"

Rose rolled her eyes unsympathetically. "For talking to her? Yeah, right, Jamie. Don't be ridiculous."

"They're not just talking!" James protested. "Look at them."

"Yes, yes," Rose said patronisingly, not even glancing in Lily and Seb's direction. "I'm looking. It's disgusting. Shouldn't be allowed in public. I mean – Merlin, did I just hear her laugh? Disgraceful!"

"Oh, shut up." James's scowl deepened. "I just don't like the way they all chase after her, okay? Like she's just any old girl…"

"As opposed to being your sister?" Rose enquired. "Which obviously, by association, makes her some sort of celestial being, right? Oh, come on Jamie," she went on, her voice changing. "She's fourteen – she'll be fifteen on Monday! She's not a baby! If she wants to flirt with people, it's her choice. And I think she can probably look after herself. It's only Seb – Seb's all right!"

James said nothing to this, but simply glowered disbelievingly over at an oblivious Lily.

"Why not have a drink and take your mind off it, Jamie?" Louis asked with a grin, materialising beside his two cousins, and offering James a bottle of firewhisky.

Rose raised her eyebrows. "Where did you two have that stashed away?"

Louis grinned mysteriously. "Now, that would be telling, wouldn't it?" he said teasingly. "But you can have some, if you want."

Fenella, who had wandered over with Louis, looked torn between amusement and annoyance.

"Okay, Louis," she said. "If this all ends disastrously tonight, I'm officially blaming you – because you were definitely the first to get the drinks out." She glanced around her. "And if you two are going to start getting drunk, I'm chasing the kids off to bed."

Iseult was, for perhaps the first time since starting Hogwarts, entirely happy as she made her way up the stairs to the dormitory. The party would, she knew, be continuing on in the common room without her, but she didn't mind too much. The older ones were getting rowdy and starting to drink alcohol, and she had no real desire to be there when they were all drunk.

The party had been great fun. Lucy Weasley had come, bringing Max and Tilly with her, and had thought up with a bizarre and complex game that involved, among other things, hopping round the common room on one leg whilst flapping your wings like a chicken (a harder fete than might be imagined) and pushing an empty butterbeer bottle along the floor with your nose. All the first and second-years (and even some of the older students too, such were Lucy's powers of persuasion) had joined in enthusiastically, levels of hilarity rising until they might as well have been drunk themselves. Issie had laughed until she almost cried, and now, as she made her way up to bed (Fenella had made the non-Gryffindors go back to their own common rooms), she realised happily that not once during the evening had she thought about the fact that she really ought to be in Slytherin.

Finally, she felt like she belonged in Gryffindor.

Alice, coming up the stairs behind her, took her arm and squeezed it.

"That was fun!" the blonde girl said enthusiastically. "I wish we could stay!"

Issie nodded. "Yeah, but the older ones are all just going to get drunk now."

Alice giggled. "Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny won't be very pleased if Lily does. They'll probably blame James."

"Well, I doubt if she'll tell them," Sam Punton pointed out. "So they won't know, will they?"

Issie sat down on her bed when they entered the dormitory, and started taking her shoes off.

"We should sneak down again later," she suggested. "And see them all being drunk."

Antigone and Sam greeted this idea with great enthusiasm, and even Alice, although she doubtfully voiced the concern that Fenella or one of the prefects might easily see them, had to agree with a giggle that it would be very funny.

However, the idea never came to fruition. None of them had any intention of going to sleep immediately, despite the fact that it was very late, but in fact, within five minutes of them all being in bed, the first-years were all dead to the world, and remained that way until morning, which meant that they missed all the drama of the rest of the night entirely.

"What's the matter with you?" Sapphie faced her boyfriend, frustration making her angry. "Why are you being weird with me?"

"I'm not being weird with you. I'm fine," he replied, so obviously lying that she groaned.

"Al, I'm not stupid."

"No, but you are drunk," he retorted. "Talk to me when you're sober if you want to have this sort of conversation."

Sapphie bit her lip to stop herself snapping back. She didn't understand this Albus. It wasn't the usual one, and it didn't help that he was right; she was slightly drunk and it meant that her brain couldn't deal with this.

"I'm not that drunk!" she insisted, which was true. She had been a bit tipsy, that was all, and she was sobering up now, thanks to him. "Is that what's wrong? You don't like that I'm drinking?" she asked, her brows coming down in a frown, knowing as she spoke that it wasn't that. He had been funny with her for the last few days. She knew, though, that her being drunk wasn't helping. Sometimes Albus was difficult to live up to.

"Of course it's not that," Albus said irritably, then paused as he realised that he'd just admitted that there was something wrong. "Look, Sapphie, let's not have this conversation now; it's Lil's party…"

"What conversation?" Sapphie's voice rose in frustration, her tongue loosened by the alcohol. "I don't get what conversation we're even having! And when are we going to have it, if not now?"

Albus hesitated, his face undecided.

"There's something I need to ask you," he said at last. "But I don't want to do it now." He glanced around the common room, which was full of people getting steadily drunker. Someone – he suspected Louis – had rigged up some sort of music system, which was now booming sound out of every corner, although there were no visible speakers.

Sapphie stared at him, not understanding what was going on. From his behaviour and his tone of voice, it wasn't anything good that he wanted to ask.

"Al, please," she said uncertainly. "Just ask me! I can't stand this! It's not fair to say that sort of thing and then not tell me what it's all about. If I've done something…" her voice took on a pleading note.

"I can't. Not here," he said stubbornly, although he knew she was right – it wasn't fair of him to have said that much and then leave it there.

"Fine then." Sapphie's face took on an equally stubborn expression. She grabbed his hand and began to tow him fast towards the portrait hole.

"Sapphie!" he hissed, as several people they passed laughed, and there was a loud remark about them being a bit keen. "What are you doing?"

She did not reply until they were outside the portrait hole, when she turned to face him, seeing that he did not look at all pleased, but ignoring this fact.

"All right," she said stubbornly. "Not there. How about here? Because I can't take being treated like I've done something wrong, without even knowing what it is."

Albus stared at her in silence for a moment. He wanted to protest again, to say that this was not the time and she was too drunk and it didn't matter. But he knew the look on her face, and he knew it would be useless. And the night would be ruined for both of them anyway after this, so he might as well get it over with. Sapphie wasn't going to take no for an answer.

But he didn't know how to ask what had been on his mind for the last few days, ever since Lily's thoughtless words. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer either.

"Okay, fine," he said grimly. "But not here either. Come on." He set off down the corridor without looking back, assuming that she was following. He wasn't going to say it where anyone could walk out on them at any moment. The sound of the music faded rapidly as they got further away from the portrait hole, and he paused outside an empty classroom.

"In here," he said abruptly. "Nobody'll come in here."

Bemused and almost frightened, she followed him into the cold, dark classroom. The only light came from the strip of moonlight coming in the narrow window, and Sapphie realised that she had left her wand in the common room. She had left her jumper too, and was only wearing a small t-shirt, because the party had been warm. Albus did not appear to notice the cold though. She waited silently, not having a clue what he was going to say.

"I know…" Albus said at last, with great difficulty, looking anywhere but Sapphie, "I know about you and James…"

There was a moment of silence, in which the world seemed to stand still around them. Part of Albus was hoping that she would be angry; that she would deny that 'her and James' had ever happened, and demand to know who'd been telling him lies. She would be furious that he'd even suspected it, but at least it wouldn't be true.

She didn't.

"Me… and James…" she said at last, and then paused, staring at him so that when he looked up, he was locked in her gaze, "didn't mean anything. Didn't mean anything at all, Al. It was before we were going out – I would never… you know that, right?"

"Never what?" he asked woodenly, refusing with the stubbornness that was characteristic of him, to answer the pleading in her voice.

"Never cheat on you!" she said with a burst of sudden frustration. "You know that, Albus! Fucking hell… James? One night, before we went out – ages before! Does that really bother you? Is that what this is seriously about?"

"Don't make it sound like it's nothing, Sapphie," Albus said, anger born of jealousy rising in him. "You… you slept with him! Or are you going to tell me you didn't?"

There was another small pause.

"No," she said at last in a small voice. "I'm not going to tell you I didn't, because I can't lie to you. But I am going to say it's not something I'm proud of." Her voice shook slightly, and then grew stronger. "Actually, I regretted it as soon as it had happened, Al. I swear that there was nothing to it – no feelings!"

"When were you going to tell me?" he asked in even tones that were far more hurtful than if he had shouted. "I didn't even know you'd had sex, Sapphie. We've been going out six months and I thought you were a virgin…" like me were the words that were unspoken, although they hung in the air.

"Well, I'm not," Sapphie said, helplessly and unnecessarily. "We… we never talked about it…" She'd wanted to talk about it, but he'd never brought it up, and at first that had been such a refreshing change from the usual teenage boy. And then later… well, he was so steady and proper and gentlemanly that she'd hesitated to be the first. No, she'd never actually lied to him – wouldn't have lied to him – but she'd never exactly gone out of her way to tell him. They were such different people, and Sapphie knew that her approach wasn't his.

"Does… does it matter?" she asked uncertainly. "I mean… it's no big deal, Al…"

"No big deal?" he repeated incredulously. "You slept with my brother!"

"Before we were going out!" she insisted. "You can't blame me for things that happened before we were even together, Albus!" Her voice was a mix of pleading and frustration. "I know it was a bad idea; I know it was a mistake, I knew straight away! I'm not even interested in James that way, and he's not interested in me. Everyone does stupid things sometimes. I was drunk…"

"Was he your first?" Albus interrupted harshly. A part of him knew he was being unfair; that he was overreacting. But another part could not stop thinking of Sapphie and James together. Sapphie and James. And a third part of him did mind that she wasn't a virgin, and that he hadn't known. He'd been happy just to be with her; he hadn't needed sex. That hadn't stopped him wanting it. And she hadn't said anything, so he'd assumed she wasn't ready. But she'd done it before. Didn't she want to have sex with him? That thought hurt, especially when paired with the fact that she'd been perfectly willing to have sex with James, with no more build up than a few drinks and presumably a bit of kissing. And it changed the way he thought about her. That was awful, but it did. He didn't like one night stands; he didn't think they were a good thing to have. And he hadn't realised that Sapphie was the sort of person to have them.

Sapphie was silent for a moment after his question. She didn't know how to answer. What would be worse? That she lost her virginity to his brother in a drunken one night stand, or that she'd had sex with other people before him? In the end though, the only option was the truth.

"Yes," she said. "He was. But that doesn't make any difference, Al!" She looked up and met his eyes desperately. "Albus, please… Everyone makes such a big deal over virginity and first times and stuff, but honestly, I don't see it that way! Why should first times be special? They aren't special – in fact, they're usually shit, by good sex standards," she pointed out. "My first time when it means something - now that should be special. That's something to make a big deal out of! Sex is just just a random thing you do, unless you're with the right person. It didn't mean a thing!"

Albus stared blankly at her. He couldn't see it that way. He didn't understand how her mind was working, and that disturbed him as much as anything else.

"You had sex for the first time with a guy you don't give a shit about, when you were drunk?" he said slowly. Did she really not see any kind of problem with that?

"Look, I've said I'm not proud of it!" she burst out, desperation bubbling over into frustration. "I know how it seems! I know what you're thinking. And I'm sorry, Al – I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, I'm sorry that I make mistakes, I'm sorry I'm not like you, I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations!" Her voice rose as she spoke, bitterness fighting with the sudden urge to cry. It was so hard to live up to him. He was so clever, so sensible, he never did stupid things. And he was such a bloody gentleman, with his morals and his ideals, and she could never be good enough. "What did you think?" she went on, wishing she could stop the bitter words from spilling out and just tell him she was sorry and beg him to forgive her. But she had too much pride for that, and she just wanted him to understand. "I'm not some perfect pure virgin, Albus, and if that's what you thought, maybe you don't even know me! And if that's what you want, then maybe it's not me you want."

She broke off, tears threatening, and swallowed fiercely, because she never cried.

Albus looked at her, and it felt as if his heart and mind had frozen. He didn't know what to think or say. He didn't know what to make of her. He'd always known she wasn't a rule-keeper. Was it true, what she said? Had he wanted her to be some vision of perfection? He didn't think so. He'd known her a long time; he'd known she wasn't perfect. Did it really bother him that she wasn't a virgin? Well, yes, a bit, but only because it made her more experienced than him, and that wasn't the main thing that was hurting him.

"I don't…" he began, then changed what he had been going to say. "Merlin, Sapphie, it's not that you're not a virgin – we're not living in the nineteenth century! It's just… It's James! You know, just for once, I thought I'd got something that was better than anything he'd ever had." He stopped and swallowed, feeling like he'd just bared a part of his soul by saying that, because he'd never admit to being jealous of James. "Then it turns out, he had it too, and you didn't tell me, Sapphie! Everyone else knew – but not me!"

"Yes, and why d'you think I didn't tell you?" she demanded. "Because I knew you'd do this! I knew you'd think it meant more than it did. Fuck it, Al, you make this sound like one big competition between you and James! What am I, some sort of trophy?" Her temper had risen now, because she was sick of being judged for one bad decision, and more than sick of being described as 'it'. "You only wanted me because James couldn't have me, is that it?"

"I can't do this, Sapphie," Albus interrupted her. It felt like something was being ripped out of his chest, but he knew he needed time to process everything; time to rethink. He couldn't just accept it and go back to how things were. "If you don't understand why it matters, I don't know how to explain, but it does matter; it matters to me. He's my brother, Sapphie, and I can't…" he looked helplessly at her, "I can't deal with it. Not right now."

There was a moment's silence. Then Sapphie broke it.

"You can't deal with it? You can't deal with the fact that once, before we were going out, I had sex with your brother, and I've regretted it ever since?"

"No," he said bluntly. "And if you think that what you just said is no big deal, then maybe you're right, maybe I don't know you at all."

There was another silence, in which Sapphie felt the world begin to crumble around her, and she realised just how hard she'd fallen for Albus Potter.

"No," she said slowly, her voice sounding unnatural in her own ears as she struggled to keep it together. Suddenly getting very very drunk didn't seem like too bad an idea. "No, maybe you don't."

Unable to trust herself to say any more, or even to look at him, she turned round and walked out of the room. She wished he'd say something else. She wished he'd call her back, and tell her that this was not really happening; that she'd misunderstood him.

He didn't.

Meri had prised Lily away from Sebastian, and managed to avoid Zeke and get her friend onto a sofa. She wasn't quite sure who had been giving Lily drinks – she suspected Louis – but she was definitely tipsy, giggling helplessly at nothing in particular. Now was not the time to have serious conversations about her flirting habits, so Meri had not tried.

"This is so much fun!" Lily slurred enthusiastically, falling sideways onto her friend (okay, more than tipsy, Meri decided, wishing she could strangle Louis Weasley). "Isn't it, Meri? I love parties!"

"Yeah, it's great," Meri agreed more dubiously. It wasn't that she didn't like parties. It was just that everything seemed to be all wrong this evening, and a nasty part of her had to admit that a lot of it was to do with Zeke's increasingly obvious infatuation with Lily.

And the night was getting decidedly messy too, which made her nervous. Lily wasn't the only drunk person by any means; James had probably had more than anyone in the room, and while he could hold his alcohol quite well, he definitely wasn't sober any more. There were others too, including Louis, who was manning the drinks table and had been keeping his own glass amply topped up too. Someone had turned the music up very loud, and some of the fifth-years had cleared a space to be a 'dance floor' and were staggering around it with increasing clumsiness, drinks spilling all over the place.

Meri wasn't sure what the time was, but it was late; if any teacher walked in on this, there would be hell to pay, and Meri, as one of the original organisers of the party, couldn't help being slightly worried by that thought. She wasn't sure where Fenella had gone; the Head Girl seemed to have vanished. Albus (who could generally relied upon to stay sober enough to make sensible decisions too) had also disappeared with Sapphie some time ago, to the general amusement of everyone who had seen them leave. Meri, however, thought that they hadn't looked much like a couple going to spend some quality time together, and more like a couple looking for somewhere private to argue.

As if in confirmation of her thoughts, the portrait hole swung open to reveal Sapphie Jordan, alone, and looking both furious and devastated, her eyes stormy. Not that many people even noticed her enter the room, but she made a beeline for the drinks table. Meri suddenly had a very bad feeling; things seemed to be going wrong one by one, and she had a sense that the night was going to end in some sort of disaster.

"Meri..." she turned round again as Lily whispered her name, to find her friend as white as a ghost. "Mer... I don't feel too good. I think I'm going to be sick..."

Sapphie intended to get drunk; as drunk as she possibly could. She didn't know who she was angrier with: Albus for being such a fucking perfect bastard with such fucking perfect ideals, herself for that stupid, stupid mistake last year, or James for just being James. On the whole, she thought Albus, because blaming him was easier than dealing with the almost crippling pain of knowing that it was over between them. They could never go back to how things had been. She knew Albus, she knew his stubbornness, she knew that he could never feel the same way about her again, and she hated that it hurt this much.

Until now, she hadn't even realised how she felt about him. It had happened so gradually, creeping up on her. She'd always liked him - thought he was sweet, and found him curiously restful after the lively company of James and Rose. His steadiness was like a rock that they had all relied on, and those were the reasons she had said yes when he asked her out before the summer, that and the fact that she enjoyed spending time with him. She loved their endless conversations about nothing in particular, and found his dry sense of humour much funnier than James and Louis's clowning. But somewhere along the line, it had become so much more than that, and the thought that it was over...

Yes, she needed to get drunk. Get so drunk she couldn't feel anything any more. So she headed to the drinks table, despite the fact that Louis was there, and James was hanging around it. Sapphie ignored him, and Louis too, grabbing a glass of punch – which had started the night as mostly pumpkin juice but which had kept being replenished and was now a lethal concoction of various spirits. She downed half the glass, topped it up from the firewhisky bottle standing nearby, and took another large mouthful, feeling it burn on the way down. The faster she drank, the faster she would be drunk.

"Sapphie?"

She looked up to see Louis staring at her, wide-eyed and concerned.

"Er... Sapph, are you okay? Where's Al...?"

"I don't know and I don't fucking care!" Sapphie burst out. "I'm fine!" She swallowed rapidly, gulping the other half of her drink down, the burning less than it had been, but the strong alcohol rushing straight to her head.

"Of course she's fine!" A cheerful voice spoke resoundingly in her ear and an arm came down round her shoulders. Fuck. James. The last bloody person she wanted to talk to.

"She... she's getting into the... the, you know, the spirit!" James went on enthusiastically. "Let's all have another drink!" He made a grab for a bottle and took a drink straight out of it.

"Sapphie?" Louis questioned again, ignoring James. He was by no means sober himself, but sober enough to realise that something was very wrong.

"We broke up," Sapphie answered harshly. "It's over. Finished. James is right. Let's have another drink."

She lost track of how many drinks she actually had, but she knew that there were a lot in a short space of time. She wanted James to go away and stop reminding her of Al, but he wouldn't - he just kept handing her more drinks instead. And somehow – she never did remember how – she ended up on a sofa with him, crying into a glass of firewhisky.

"Screw him. Screw fucking Albus. Just because I'm not perfect..." She suddenly realised that she was speaking her thoughts aloud, but couldn't seem to stop. "He thinks I'm a slut... maybe I am a slut, but I don't care, nobody's perfect, they can't be... only him... he's the only person in the world who's perfect.." She really wasn't sure that James was listening, or knew what she was talking about, but she didn't care. She hated James anyway, because the whole thing had happened because of him. And she hated Albus, and she hated being judged, and she didn't care any more. If he thought she was a slag, she'd be one, show him that she could only be the person she was, and if he had a problem with that, he could deal with it. And part of her wanted him to hurt - wanted to make him feel the pain and rejection that she felt now.

That was as far as her thoughts went, and she never remembered making a decision, because however drunk she was, she didn't think she'd ever have decided to do what she did next. But the next thing she knew, she had a fistful of the front of James' shirt and was pulling his lips down fiercely against her own. And then her brain shut down and she stopped thinking; it was just feelings, an outpouring of anger and grief and frustration, and she forgot whose lips they were on hers, whose chest was pressing down on her, whose hand had moved to the back of her head, whose tongue was in her mouth.

And when Albus appeared in the portrait hole, after a solitary walk in the cold corridors to try – and fail – to clear his head, all he saw were two familiar bodies locked together, limbs tangling, lips hungrily drinking each other in. The room was quieter now; a lot of people had passed out or gone to bed, and the music had been turned down. And as he stood there, frozen to the spot as if someone had put a bodybind on him, she broke away and lifted her head, and a pair of dazed brown eyes met a pair of shocked green ones for a single second, before he turned around and left the common room again.