(is playing with Fire Emblem dolls and giving voices to them)
"Princess Elincia, I've found a new recruit! His name is Blazing Fool! He's the strongest warrior I've ever seen!"
"Wow, Ike, he's so handsome!"
"Yes, clearly I shall let him take the army and do what he will with our power!"
"Yay!"
Fool.
Gah! What are you doing here? …Did you see anything?
Not a thing. …You pathetic loser, you.
Good. Good. What do you want?
They're all watching you.
HUH? (whips around) Ah ha ha… Hi, everybody… Um, these are, um, my…sister's dolls! Yeah! And not mine. Totally. Hey! Put those cameras away! Fine, have a chapter, just put the cameras away!
Disclaimer: Don't own SSBM or Sherlock Holmes. But I do own this story, my SSBM disc, and these dolls. Oops, I said that out loud, didn't I?
---------------Chapter 10 --------------------------------------------------------------
"Okay, now we'll play Truth or Dare!" giggled Peach. Ninian gulped.
"I have a really bad feeling about this…"
------------------------In The Vents----------------------------------------------------
Link continued to strangle his friend until Roy produced a 50-dollar bill. He reluctantly stuffed it in his pocket while Roy rubbed his neck and peered through the vents.
"Sweet, Truth or Dare! Now we'll find out which of them are le-" Roy broke off as he noticed Link glaring at him. "Le… le… liable to be the thief!" Link scowled and said nothing.
-----------------------------------------Below-------------------------------------------
"Before we begin, let me introduce another guest! Everybody say hi to… Mother Brain!"
A giant brain encased in a glass tank wheeled its way into the room. Suddenly, without the use of eyes (Don't question me), it caught sight of Samus.
"YOU!"
"YOU!"
Samus shot up like a rocket and stomped over to Mother Brain. She attempted to slap the tank but only suceeded in hurting her hand.
"YOU TOLD ME ONLY THE COOL PEOPLE WERE INVITED," boomed Mother Brain. "WHAT'S THIS LOSER DOING HERE?"
"So that's why you asked me to leave my suit in the garage!" cried Samus angrily. "If I had it, I'd blow this gray old bag to pieces!"
-----------------------Meanwhile--------------------------------------------------------
Pikachu walked into the garage. His motorcycle was looking a little dirty and he wanted to polish it. He couldn't wait to take it around town. The ladies would dig him. (Let's let him live his dreams, poor fellow.)
As he approached his motorcycle, he noticed something leaning up against the wall. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be Samus' Suit. Samus' Deadly Suit. Samus' Deadly Awesome Suit. Samus' Deadly Awesome Suit Of Doom. Samus' Deadly Awesome Suit Of Doom, Capable Of Annihilating An Entire Planet. Samus' Deadly Awesome Suit Of Doom, Capable Of Annihilating An Entire Planet, That He Was Never To Touch Under Any Circumstances Because You Remember What Happened Last Time He Got His Hands On It.
Pikachu grinned and cracked his knuckles.
------------------------------Peach's Room---------------------------------------------
"YOU HOE!" sneered Mother Brain. A metallic tentacle emerged from the tank and slapped Samus across the face. Slap!
Time for Roland and Kyro's Sound Effects and Censoring Services!
"-Beep-ing -beep-!" cried Samus as she slapped the tank. Slap!
"-Beep-!" Slap!
"-Beep-bag!" Slap!
"-BBiecep-!" Slap! Woah, that one got kinda broken.
"That's enough!" cried Zelda as she and Ninian drove the two apart. "We're supposed to be having fun."
"And Eliwood doesn't need to hear this kind of language!" exclaimed Ninian as she sat back down and stroked Eliwood's hair. "Are you trying to corrupt him? He'll turn to the Dark Side!"
Eliwood twitched and suddenly a malicious dark expression crossed his face. It passed quickly and he blinked, smiling confusedly. Peach had set out a bowl of assorted nuts and he was munching on them happily, bearing an uncanny resemblance to a squirrel.
"See? He's already crossing to the Dark Side!"
------------------------------------Above-----------------------------------------------
"Pfft. Like we'd take him." scoffed Roy. "Now where did I put my video camera?"
-----------------------------------Below-------------------------------------------------
"Did anyone else notice that when me and Mother -Beep!- were arguing, we weren't actually saying words, but rather weird beeping noises?" asked Samus. "Look! I just did it again!"
"Huh?"
"What fourth wall?"
"Okay, time to play!" chirped Peach, oblivious to the fact that Mother Brain and Samus were making silent death threats at each other. "I'll go first! Zelda, Truth or Dare?"
"Truth." said Zelda, playing it safe.
"What's the most romantic thing you and Link have ever done?" Everyone giggled, thinking it would be… Well, you're smart. I don't have to tell you, do I?
"We went to a movie once. I kissed him on the cheek." said Zelda calmly.
"That's… That's it?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
-----------------------------------Above-------------------------------------------------
"You're a loser."
"I know…"
-------------------------------Below-----------------------------------------------------
"But what about all that romance stuff from a few chapters ago?" asked Samus.
"Huh?" asked Zelda.
"What fourth wall?"
"Uh… Well, that was acting."
----------------------------Above--------------------------------------------------------
"You were acting?"
"We were ACTING?"
-------------------------------Below-----------------------------------------------------
"Moving on!" cried Zelda. "Mother Brain, Truth Or Dare?"
"Truth."
"What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"
Mother Brain smirked. (I said don't question me, dangit!)
"WELL, THIS ONE TIME ME AND KRAID GOT DRUNK AND-"
"We don't want to hear about it!" cried Ninian, Samus, Eliwood, and Peach. Samus shuddered.
"SAMUS," boomed Mother Brain quickly. "TRUTH OR DARE?" Not to be daunted, Samus smirked and exclaimed "Dare!"
"I DARE YOU TO… ADMIT THAT YOU'RE A –Beep!- AND I'M WAY BETTER THAN YOU." Samus gasped. Gasp!
Can we go home now?
Shut up and do your job.
"Never!" cried Samus. "I'd rather be eaten alive!" Eliwood looked up sharply, but Ninian shoved him back down.
"YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE." boomed Mother Brain.
"She's right," said Peach, "Truth or Dare is a binding agreement. If you don't uphold it, I'll be forced to vaporize you." To prove her point, she revealed a small remote. She pressed the button and yet another laser cannon emerged from the wall.
"Mario has taught you well." commented Zelda. Peach nodded happily.
Samus found herself missing her suit more and more.
----------------------------------------Meanwhile--------------------------------------
Mewtwo floated down the hall, happily munching a box of Kitty Crunchies. Suddenly a wave a negative mental energy hit him like a battering ram, dropping him to his knees.
"He's… he's… he's back…." mumbled Mewtwo in a panic. "The Destroyer has returned…
MECHA-PIKACHU IS BACK!"
-------------------------Peach's Room-------------------------------------------------
"DO IT."
"Come on Sammy, do it!"
"Just say it, Samus."
"Be brave!"
"My nose itches."
Samus sighed in defeat. "Fine, I'll say it, but I'll have you know it's not true!" She grimaced and drew in breath. All was silent as she prepared to fulfill her dare.
…Except this.
"I love walnuts. They remind me of little brains." commented Eliwood as he popped one into his mouth.
"Mother Brain is awesome… and I want to be just like her." said Samus through gritted teeth. The others applauded and Mother Brain smirked.
"YOU'LL SAY THAT A LOT MORE THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE."
----------------------------Vents---------------------------------------------------------
"Hmm…" Link mused aloud as he took notes in a Handy Dandy Notebook.
Suddenly angry reviewers who hated Nick Jr shot Blazing Fool. They simply don't understand the true power of Blue's Clues.
"I don't think Samus is the thief. If she was, I think she would have made her move by now." said Link as he continued to scribble in his Han- NORMAL notebook.
Roy, meanwhile, was completely ignoring Link and praying to God, St. Elimine, The 8 Heroes, Shigeru Miyamoto, and Santa for some Yuri.
"Please, please just let someone down there make out!" he prayed fervently. "That's all I ask!"
------------------------------Below------------------------------------------------------
"Okay Eliwood, Truth Or Dare?"
"Dare, I guess!"
"I dare you too… Kiss Ninian!" Eliwood smiled.
"Okay!" He leaned over and kissed his wife. She giggled.
--------------------------Vents-----------------------------------------------------------
"ARGH!" screamed Roy. He began to thrash around the vent, slamming the walls with his fists in fury. "THAT-WASN'T-WHAT-I-MEANT!" Link drew in breath sharply and tried to calm Roy down.
Suddenly both of them froze and looked at where they were sitting. They were directly on top of the air vent, which looked about to break. Their fervent hope that it would hold was broken by one little noise.
Creeeeeeee-aaaaaaaak.
--------------------------------------Below----------------------------------------------
Samus frowned as she looked at Ninian, who was ruffling her husband's hair. "I thought you hated Eliwood."
"Well… He might not be the brightest, but he's so adorable! He's like a puppy!" To prove her point, she began to scratch behind Eliwood's ear. He began to thump the floor with his leg happily.
"Well I guess that can be your Truth. Why you like Eliwood."
Suddenly, the girls (and Eliwood) looked up to see Link and Roy come tumbling down from the ceiling.
"Ninjas!" cried Zelda.
"Hey… With these masks, they don't know its us! We might yet live through this, Roy!" whispered Link.
"Can you guys start making out or something?" asked Roy, completely ignoring Link for the second time that day.
"ROY?" cried the girls (and Eliwood) in unison. Link slapped his forehead.
"How did you know it was me?" demanded Roy.
"Well, you still have a beard pointing out from the mask. Plus we recognized your voice."
"Way to blow our cover!" Link snapped. Roy shrugged.
"I'm going to see some yuri if it kills you!"
"You mean if it kills you."
"…"
"…Right."
"Yuri?" asked Zelda. "Why would you expect yuri here?"
"Come on!" cried Roy. "It's an all girls (and Dad) sleepover. And have you ever even looked at Samus?" Samus cried out indignantly. Mother Brain chuckled.
"I KNEW IT." Samus turned on her, snarling.
"THAT'S IT! You and I are taking this OUTSIDE!" She grabbed Mother Brain's tank and dragged her out the door. Everyone stared after her.
"So much for the best sleepover ever…" sighed Peach. She plopped down on the bed, looking depressed. Zelda walked over and gave her a comforting hug.
Roy chuckled and made thrusting motions with his hips, completely ruining the moment. Link growled and began to strangle Roy again until Roy produced yet another 50-dollar bill. Link accepted it grudgingly.
"You're just lucky I still have gambling debts to pay off." He grumbled, nervously looking out the window at the front yard, where a pair of Gorons in Mafia suits were gazing at him stonily.
"Roy, you're grounded." stated Ninian matter-of-factly.
"W-what? WHY!"
"Don't argue with your mother!" said Eliwood, doing his spritely "angry face." "Don't make me sic my Oompa-Loompas on you!"
"You don't have Oompa-Loompas, Dad. …Well, except for Marcus. But he's only half Oompa-Loompa."
"I do SO have Oompa-Loompas!"
"Do not."
"Do too!"
"Do not."
"Do too!"
"Do not."
"Do too!"
Argh, this is boring. Can we do a Meanwhile?
-----------------------Meanwhile, Outside---------------------------------------------
Samus and Mother Brain wrestled throughout the hallways, slamming into walls and generally creating quite a ruckus.
Spying a closet-
DUN DUN DUUUUN!
(sigh) You again? Go away!
-she was struck with devious inspiration. Grabbing Mother Brain's tank, she ran over to the closet, opened it up, and threw Mother Brain inside.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Mother Brain as Samus shoved the door shut. Samus sighed happily and began to walk back to Peach's room.
----------------------------------------Peach's Room----------------------------------
"Do not."
"Do too!"
"Do not."
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"DO NOT!"
"AAARGH!" screamed Ninian. "Eliwood, you're grounded too! For annoying me!" Eliwood pouted. "Listen, Roy. We came here for another reason than the sleepover. You need to hide all the girls in the Mansion. NOW."
"Huh? Why?"
"We were followed." replied Ninian grimly. Roy gasped. Gasp!
"You don't mean… Him…?"
"Yes. Him." Link, Peach and Zelda were confused.
"Who's he?"
As if on cue, the entire room began to shake as though struck by an earthquake. A grim fog surrounded the Mansion, and the door to the room swung open with unholy force. A demonic figure slowly walked through the door, his features not noticeable until he emerged from the fog.
Before them stood a green-cloaked man cavalier of about 24 or so. His hair was unkempt and he wore a headband to keep it in line. He had large ears and a rather goofy grin on his face.
"Lady Ninian!" cried Sain as he ran up to them. "Ah, your visage is a lovely as always! Your beauty, it blinds me, but I still cannot look away!"
"Dude, Sain!" cried Roy, grinning. "How's it been, man?" He ran up and gave Sain a high-five.
"I am unchanged, dear Lord Roy!" said Sain, also grinning. "I was merely playing cards with my friends, Forde and Gatrie, when I realized that I had not seen you-and your lovely female companions- in quite some time!"
Sain suddenly turned to Zelda and began ogling her. "Why hello there!" he said, speaking not to Zelda but rather to her chest, "I don't believe I've met you! I am Sain, the most honorable, brave, handsome knight in all of Caelin!"
"Back off, buddy!" snarled Link. "She's taken." Sain paled and turned back to Roy.
"So what have you been up to, Lord Roy?"
"Oh, same old, same old. Hunting down a tiara thief, trying to watch some hot yuri action, the usual."
"Sweet!"
"I know!"
"How many people are INVADING this sleepover?" demanded Peach. Upon hearing her voice, Sain turned to her and began to do his thing.
"Ah, such beauty, it takes mine breath away! Fair maiden, would you favor me with your name, or better yet, a kiss?"
------------------------------Meanwhile-------------------------------------------------
Mario suddenly frowned as he continued to whup Luigi in Super Fanfiction Authors Melee. His Young Roy had just delivered a devastating Smash Attack to Luigi's Blazing Fool.
"Why-a do I-a suddenly feel an urge to fire everyone at-a Intelligent Systems? …Ah! Come-a on! Up-B! UP-B!"
-------------------------Peach's Room--------------------------------------------------
"Ah! Get away from me, pervert!" screeched Peach. She kicked Sain in the chest and he sprawled on the floor.
"Oh, she protests, but I cannot stay my arm!" cried Sain.
"Man, this guy's worse than Roy!" exclaimed Zelda. Roy nodded vigorously.
"He taught me everything I know."
"EEEEEEEEK!" shrieked Peach. Sain was leaning in trying to kiss her. She bolted out of the room, Sain hot on her heels.
"Wait! Come back! I love yooooou!" he cried as he chased after her.
Suddenly Roy and company heard a metallic voice from nowhere say "Support Level Increased."
-----------------------------Outside------------------------------------------------------
Samus was walking back to the room when suddenly a pink-and-green blur shot past her. Alarmed, she chased after it only to see Peach shoving some red-haired man into a closet.
DUN DUN DUUUN!
AAAAAARRRRRRRGH! GET OUT OF HERE!
----------------------------------------Outside Peach's Doorway---------------------
"Well, this is great and all –I hate you all so much- but now that Sain's here, we can go back to Elibe. Bye!" said Ninian, grabbing their things.
"You're just leaving him here?" demanded Zelda as Ninian and Eliwood ran away.
"Pretty much, yeah!" Ninian yelled over her shoulder as she ran out of sight.
"Well this sucks." sighed Zelda.
"I know!" Roy sobbed. "I didn't get to see any yuri! This Mansion sucks, there's not a single bit of yuri anywhere!"
-----------------------------Meanwhile--------------------------------------------------
Peach and Samus were walking back to the room.
"What a day, huh?" asked Samus wearily.
"Tell me about it." Peach replied. They suddenly stopped walking and stared into each other's eyes for a moment before catching each other in a lustful embrace and kissing passionately.
Both of their eyes shot open at the exact same moment and they recoiled from each other quickly.
"What the HELL?" yelled Samus as she rubbed her tongue and gagged. "Why did we just DO that? I don't even like you!"
"It feels like we just did it for some ironic twist in a sadistic author's story!" cried Peach as she spat on the ground. "How odd!"
------------------------------In A Dark Smash City Alley----------------------------
The corpses of Red and Yellow lay upon the ground. The people of Smash City, being the lazy sloths that they are, had not even bothered to move them.
Suddenly both corpses sat up, rubbed their head, and stared at the knives lying on their bodies.
"Wait a minute… These knives are retractable!" yelled Red.
"I guess we passed out from shock!" exclaimed Yellow. Both of them stared at each other for a moment before speaking.
"I hate you."
"I hate you more!"
"No, I hate you more!"
"I hate you- Wait a minute, I think I hate Yoshi more than you now. Him and his friends got us into this!" said Yellow.
"You are right! It is Yoshi who is the enemy! I say we gang up on him! Truce?" replied Red.
"…Truce."
----------------------------Meanwhile, Outside The Mansion-----------------------
Two Oompa-Loompas slowly walked up to the Mansion.
"You're sure this is where Lord Eliwood told us to come?"
"Pretty sure. We must never question Lord Eliwood's genius."
Ninian, carrying Eliwood under her arm ran past them.
"HEYGUYSGOTTAGOBACKHOMESOFOLLOWUSBYE!" shouted Eliwood as they passed. The Oompa-Loompas shrugged.
"Whatever."
-----------------------In THE CLOSET------------------------------------------------
Sain rubbed his head and sat up. He was in a pitch-black closet, with no light save for a strange silver sphere with an image of a cloaked figure on it. He was not alone in here, apparently, as several girls, an old woman, a tank with a brain in it, and a blue-haired man were also gathered around the sphere.
The blue-haired man offered a hand, pulling Sain to his feet.
"WELCOMEWELCOMEWELCOMEWELCOME!" the blue-haired man screamed. The girls all began to giggle when Sain looked at them.
"Oh, he's so cute!"
"He's such a bishie!"
"I want to suffocate him in attention!"
The figure in the sphere chuckled.
"Hello, Sain my friend. Welcome to the Closet Smashers. Join us, and these girls will be all yours."
"Wait a minute… Don't I know you?" asked Sain.
"That's of no importance. Will you join us?" Sain looked around at the giggling girls and grinned.
"I think I'll fit in just fine…"
-------------------------------End of Ch.10---------------------------------------------
And now we have our villains. By the way, the figure in the sphere is NOT, I repeat, NOT the thief. They're two separate people acting independently. Now is when you guys can start trying to guess who they are.
Fools Shameless Advertising: Super Fanfiction Authors Melee, now available in a gaming retailer near you! You lucky video game characters can now wreak havoc as your favorite fanfic authors in this multi-man brawl! Rated T for language and the dreaded "Over-B Lemon Fic Attack."
Next Chapter: Bowser's Scary Story-Telling Special! A Climatic Battle With Thief Themself! The Closet Smashers Continue To Grow In Numbers! The Most Horrible Thing Ever Created Ever Becomes Reality! Run! Run For Your Lives!
Now I have… important business… to attend to. Leave me! (pulls out dolls)
"Oh Blazing Fool, kiss me!"
"Well now, Mia, I'm afraid you'll have to take a number. I've already got the other Fire Emblem girls lined up for a make-out session!"
"Okay!"
"Great, now who to start with-"
ACK! I thought I told you to go away! DOLLS? WHAT DOLLS! I don't have any dolls! I don't even know what a doll is! Stop asking all these questions! Go away.