Bernie sunk into her office chair and sighed heavily. It had been a long and difficult few hours. Her eyes fell to the slightly battered frame on her desk which housed a much-loved picture of Serena and her. It had been taken one Saturday evening whilst they'd been with friends. Bernie looking directly to the camera, her fringe characteristically shielding her eyes, her cheeks tinged with a rosy glow, whilst Serena had been caught mid laugh and was looking off to the side, her whole face alight with joy. Bernie had thought Serena had never looked more beautiful and instantly had had it printed for her desk. Allowing herself a moment to indulge in the happy memories the photo a small smile flickered onto her lips. Casting a glance around her department from her vantage point she was happy to see all was currently calm so picked up the telephone and keyed in the internal dialling code she knew so well, 3472. The phone buzzed in her ear, her eyes firmly placing themselves once more on the picture.

"Serena Campbell." came the familiar voice from the other end of the line.

"Hello you." Bernie responded breathlessly, trying to allow the tension of the day to leave her body upon hearing her voice.

"This is a nice surprise. I should have known it would be you ringing up from the ED, but I didn't know you were in…" Serena's brow furrowed, checking the time and date before she continued. "Hold on you're not meant to be in… what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong…" her tone wavered. "A woman collapsed in front of me in the supermarket. The doctor in me took over and I ended up here"

"Maybe I need to add hero to your title, Ms Wolfe." Serena spoke with such fondness it made Bernie's heart swell.

"That won't be needed." She faltered for a minute before deciding to continue. "It's been a tough one though…"

"Do you need to talk about it? I don't have any more meetings so can get away… and you aren't even meant to be in work. Stay put and I will come and meet you." A thank you was all Bernie managed to get out before the line went dead, ever grateful for the fact Serena knew exactly what she needed even when she wasn't always sure herself.

Serena had practically run her way down to the ED and by the time she rounded to Bernie's office was a little out of puff, chuckling to herself as she reached the door that she must join Bernie in the gym. Through the slatted blinds she could make out Bernie's silhouette and a gentle expression played on her features, adjusting her bag strap she stepped forward to open the door.

"Ms Campbell… what do we owe the pleasure?" the words of the older nurse stopped her actions.

"Mr Fairhead," she smiled with a polite nod before gesturing to the door of the office, "I'm here to take Ms Wolfe home… a purely domestic visit. CEO hat left upstairs." She gave him a look indicating she knew of the discomfort the ED staff had been feeling about her frequent visits, and even though they'd been going through some personally difficult times she had reduced her visits to ease their discomfort at Bernie's request.

"I wasn't…" a wave of her hand cut him off.

"I quite appreciate the sentiment Mr Fairhead, and I don't want anyone feeling pressured by my presence so if you'll excuse me I will be out of here before you know it." No further words were needed in the exchange and with a nod Charlie Fairhead headed over to check in on cubicles. Serena rolled her eyes a little before pushing forward into the office. "I heard there was a beautiful woman down here who needed my attention."

"I don't know where she is, but I could sure use a hug." Bernie countered. "Although those awful people out there would probably yell at me and tell me I was going to hell." A questioning expression crossed Serena's features.

"You've lost me, my darling."

"The patient's parents… god they were awful people." She shook her head in disbelief, their words still ringing in her ears. "We put her in a bay next to a pregnant lady who had been brought in, she and her wife were expecting their first baby… and well Kira's parents weren't quiet in their vocal condemnation of how abhorrent they found their lifestyle." Her eyes cast to the floor, the years of indoctrinated homophobia from the military suddenly in the forefront of her mind.

"Oh Bernie." Serena said trying to comfort her, the blonde's distress levels becoming apparent to her. Moving to her she wound her arm gently around her shoulders, pulling her into her.

"I spent half a century hiding who I was… because of people like them." She let out a cry of frustration. "I hate that they felt entitled enough to be so god damn rude."

"I hope someone stood up to them?" Serena asked, her fingers gently massaging Bernie's shoulders.

"I threw them out of the department… quite unceremoniously in fact." She winced as she recalled her actions. "Then yelled at them… the father mainly after he told me he would have thought better of me with my military background."

"What did you say, Bernie?" Serena couldn't help the creep of her CEO hat, formal complaints flashing before her eyes.

"I think my exact words were, 'I don't think my wife would like it if I held those views.'" Serena swallowed, her eyes widening as she heard Bernie refer to her as her wife.

"Wife?" she stuttered out.

"It sounded better in my head than girlfriend… and partner wouldn't have packed the punch it needed. I hope you don't mind." Serena shook her head, still a little dumbfounded.

"I don't mind… has a nice ring to it if you ask me." It was Bernie's turn to look shocked, her eyes flying open and her eyebrows raising. Serena chuckled seeing this. "Don't panic… I'm not getting down on one knee."

"I don't think I'd object if you were." Bernie whispered quietly before capturing Serena's lips on her own in a soft but passionate embrace. When she finally pulled away she felt the anger from the day slip away. "Take me home, please."

"Your wish is my command, Ms Wolfe."

-x-

That evening the fire roared heartily, pushing away the unseasonably cold temperatures of the evening. Wrapped in soft robes Bernie and Serena were curled into one another. The troubles of the day long gone, along with a bottle of the finest shiraz. Bernie had long tuned out from the hum of the television, lost in her own thoughts, her hands drawing lazy patterns on Serena's hip. Snuggling herself closer Serena nestled her head into Bernie's neck. Snaking her hand up under Serena's chin, Bernie tilted it to enable her to kiss her.

"Those two women today were so in love… it made me think of us… and how if life had been different… how we might have been like them." Serena could see Bernie's eyes sparkle, "I thought about how if we had met when we were in our twenties, how I would have loved to have a baby with you. To watch your tummy swell as our little one grew inside you." Bernie breathed out softly, love pouring from her as she held the thought in her head.

"And why would it be my tummy swelling and not yours?" she asked, snuggling into her partner once more. Bernie honked out a laugh, pulling Serena into her by the hip.

"Maybe because I hated being pregnant." She stated matter-of-factly. "and even in an alternate universe I don't even want to imagine going through it. Whereas my darling, you always reminisce so fondly of the time you spent growing Elinor in your tummy." Bernie felt Serena sniff against her chest. "Oh darling, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She held her tighter, planting soft kisses in her hair whilst internally berating herself for bringing it up.

"It's okay. I did love being pregnant so very much." She moved so her eyes could meet Bernie's, "And I would have loved to have carried our baby had we ever had that chance." Fondness settled in Bernie's eyes as the creases around Serena's eyes became more prominent when her smile that was spreading across her face finally reached her eyes. Serena contemplated quietly for a few moments before speaking again. "Did you really hate being pregnant? You've never told me that before."

"Loathed it…" Bernie replied with some force, before almost looking guilty. "Don't get me wrong, you know I love my kids. And I don't shout it from the roof tops, I didn't need to top off my crap mum of the year nomination by telling them I hated my pregnancies." She shrugged, then exhaled slowly. "Growing up never thought I'd have kids … but I married Marcus and had to fulfil my duty as a wife. We planned Cameron, I did all the things you are supposed to when trying for a baby." She paused looking up to the ceiling, her eyes glassing over at the memories. "When I found out I was pregnant… I cried… not because I was happy but because my life was about to change so much, and I couldn't control it. How awful is that? So many women live their lives desperate for babies they can't have, and I cried because I was having one." Serena gently stroked her fingers over Bernie's abdomen, trying to reassure her and show she wasn't judging her. "Then… my hatred of the whole rigmarole grew as my body changed and strangers suddenly felt that it was okay to touch me and to comment on how big my stomach was. It's just not okay." Serena's fingers froze suddenly, realising what she was doing. Bernie looked down at her as they did, pressing a kiss into her hair. "The 28 hours of labour put the final nail in the coffin that I never planned on repeating the experience."

"But you did…" Serena said, enjoying the new openness she was getting from her usually closed off army medic.

"Oh yes, little Charlotte had other plans for mummy dearest. She wasn't planned. In fact, I was in the middle of a warzone when I found out I was expecting her." She laughed a little, recalling the look on her commanding officers face when they discovered her predicament. "I fainted in the heat one afternoon, my commanding officer insisted on bloods to check me over… I'll never forget the look on his face when he told me I was pregnant. I'd been out there nearly 10 weeks… within 24 hours though I was back in the UK. Marcus was so angry, angrier than I had ever seen him. Yelled at me for being selfish and putting the baby in danger by not realising."

"But that wasn't your fault."

"That isn't how he saw it. Whether it was my fault or not the blame lied squarely with me in his eyes. I don't think he forgave me until I delivered Charlotte and she was perfectly healthy. Alas, it is history now. The kids then grew up with an absentee mother who hid from her husband in warzones because she was a closet lesbian. It is a miracle they aren't more screwed up." Bernie laughed awkwardly.

"They are great kids Bernie, and whether you enjoyed pregnancy or not, you are a great mum… and those kids love you."

"I won't ever be as good a mum as you though." Bernie looked into Serena's eyes, her fingers ghosting down the side of her face. "You ooze motherly affection, and care so deeply… not many people would have taken in their long-lost sister's son in as you did. It is one of the many, many reasons that I love you."

"Even though you don't think you are, you are an excellent mother. I could tell when they were here how much your cubs love their Mummy Wolfe." A blush rose on Bernie's cheeks, making her curl her face down into Serena's hair to try and disguise it. Taking the opportunity Serena softened her tone. "And this Mummy Wolfe needs to let her cubs know that she is going in to hospital in a few days." She felt Bernie sigh into her hair before she pulled back to look at her, her face crinkling. "They shouldn't hear about it from someone else, or afterwards. You know how awful Jason is with keeping things quiet and he'll be back before you go in."

"You are right, and I will tell them."

True to her word that evening Bernie broached the subject of her looming surgery with both of her children. Charlotte had cried on the phone, not small tears either but truly heart wrenching sobs, it had taken Bernie nearly an hour of soft reassurances before she had calmed enough for her to feel happy about ending the call. Whereas, with his medical training, Cameron took a more measured approach to the news and had started to lecture her on the importance of good post-operative care before she'd cut him off, stating that Serena had nagged her quite enough about that already. During the calls both children promised to come and visit as soon as they could and had told their mother they loved her.