RAPT
CHAPTER TEN
Jagged vacance, thick with ice/ I could see for miles, miles, miles.
Elizabeth woke to thin tension fraught in the recycled air. David was not in their bed, and she assumed he was running final diagnostic tests to ensure the ship would survive its entry into the atmosphere and the subsequent landing. Elizabeth's hangover had abated into a nagging thirst and mild headache, barely worth noticing compared to the pain of yesterday. She rolled out of bed and dressed quickly in her laid-out clothes; a pair of thickly-ribbed leggings and a man's thermal shirt. She ignored the boots and suit she would don upon landing.
Elizabeth had avoided wearing anything from the scant collection of clothing she'd gathered from the Prometheus, but it would be impossible to fit the robes she'd fashioned out of Engineer blankets beneath a suit. Just as impossible as it would be to forget that she was wearing Janek's shirt and Vickers' pants. Elizabeth had idly wondered in those first days, when she'd spent her waking hours in a fog of trauma, why Janek's clothing had been in Vickers' quarters. Had they been lovers? It seemed unlikely— but if anyone could crack Vickers' icy exterior, it would have been Janek.
Janek. So much of Elizabeth's pain came back to her memories of the captain she had known for such a short time. There were moments when she thought that she grieved more deeply for that man than for Charlie. Janek, who 'just flew the ship'. Flew the ship right into that goddamn Engineer and saved every single person on Earth's ass. And nobody but herself and David had any fucking clue.
Elizabeth realized she was sitting back down on the bed, elbows on her knees, hands gripping her head, tears on her face. She was hyperventilating, shivering and sweating at the same time.
Goddammit. Get it the fuck together.
Elizabeth sniffed hard, wiped at her face, and tried to clear her throat, but the sound shattered into a groan of pure vulnerability.
Jesus. Fuck. FUCK. There's no time for this! You have work to do, fuck, you have deaths to make up for. You cannot fly to fucking pieces, not yet. Probably not ever. Get over it.
Elizabeth focused on blanking out her mind and taking measured breaths until her body calmed. Refusing to let herself think, Elizabeth triple-checked their surface packs and left the cubiculum, searching for her absent companion.
She found David in one of the cargo holds. Elizabeth did not visit the room often. Filled with those omnipresent matte black vases and the kind of silence that screams, it was most definitely not an inviting area of the ship. The dimly-lit stone Engineer stared blindly ahead at the two of them from the farthest wall, and a spasm of apprehension shook Elizabeth as she took in the ominous scene. David was fiddling with one of the vases, his back to Elizabeth, humming to himself. He had not heard her approach.
Elizabeth watched as David unscrewed the top of the vase with total confidence, wary and silent. David's hum rose into a quiet song as he pulled the top and body of the vase apart, revealing several vials coated in a gelatinous fluid.
"Checking out the ladies… Tickling their fancies…" David kneeled and set the body of the vase on the floor, running his fingers along the vials.
Elizabeth couldn't make them out in great detail, but she could tell that they were filled with black liquid. She realized she was holding her breath.
She knew that Weyland had ordered the vases to be tested, she knew that. Elizabeth and David had discussed the matter bluntly only once, in those first days aboard this ship. David had painted the picture in broad strokes; a test gone awry, a contamination, Dr. Holloway most unfortunately being exposed. Charlie's death.
It was too much to think about, too much. Guilt times a million. I fucked Charlie's murderer. I knew that, but I couldn't think about it. God forgive me, I need him.
There is no loneliness like the loneliness of space.
Elizabeth had done what she needed to survive.
But Elizabeth had not seen David handle the cargo before. He was so softly knowledgeable, handling the vase like a father handling his newborn. Tender, yet firm. It was clear to her that David had respect for the weapon, and her trust in the veracity of his story wavered.
He was still singing.
"Pouring out your charm, to meet your own demands, and turn it off at will… Oh, they long for Dandy, Dandy. Dandy…" With a fluid and gentle movement, David gripped a vial at its top and broke it apart from the others. The sound— like cracking ice— startled Elizabeth, and she let out a thin gasp.
David stiffened, staring straight ahead before slowly pivoting on one knee, his other foot planted on the floor. He held the vial before him as he met Elizabeth's gaze, looking for all the world like a participant in some perverse, parodic proposal tableau.
"Good morning, Elizabeth." David's voice was calm, measured.
"What are you doing?" Elizabeth whispered, unable to hold David's gaze, her eyes fixed on the vial in his fingers.
David looked down at the vial as well, considering it impassively for a moment before holding it out to Elizabeth.
"I'm taking precautions. We don't know what we're going to find down on the surface, Elizabeth."
"You can't go messing with those vases, David, that shit is too dangerous. These are military ships, Janek said it, he said that those were weapons, the cargo will kill us both—" Elizabeth's voice rose in distress, and she backed away from David as he pushed up from the floor.
"Elizabeth, it's quite all right. I know precisely what I'm doing." David approached her slowly, one hand held palm-out, like he was trying to soothe a frightened animal. It only unnerved Elizabeth further.
"Jesus Christ, David, how am I supposed to believe that? You told me that you knew almost nothing about the weapons, you've barely had time to test them!"
"Elizabeth, please, calm down. It's true that I had a limited amount of time to experiment with the substance, and I may not know the specifics of its composition and origin, but I have a solid idea of what it is and how it functions. I can teach you all about it, if you like—"
David continued to follow Elizabeth as she retreated back into the hall.
"—You already know that I tested the effects of the substance aboard the Prometheus, under Mr. Weyland's instructions. It is weaponized, in a sense, a sort of programmed DNA that warps the physiology of its victim, but perfectly controllable so long as one is patient and conservative with the product."
A wave of horror washed over Elizabeth.
Warps the physiology of its victim.
"Goddamn you, David," she whispered, folding in on herself. "Charlie."
Perfectly controllable so long as one is patient and conservative with the product.
It had not been a mistake. Elizabeth knew that now.
I've been so fucking selfish. It was right in front of me, all this time.
The robot was quiet.
Elizabeth looked up into his eyes, searching for the person she had moved with, laughed with, run from in a game. Searching for the unlikely thread of humanity that bound them together.
She could find nothing beyond that perfect, manufactured blue.
The robot was unrepentant.
_._
David fixed an expression of pleasant vacance on his face as he tore apart the moment in his mind.
My darling, my darling, my dear Dr. Shaw, you promised you would stand beside me. No David without Elizabeth and no Elizabeth without David. You knew the truth already; let it now bubble and disperse.
Elizabeth stood shaking before him, eyes closed, her body closed off to him. That soft, olive-cast skin was wet, tears tangled in her thick lashes. David wanted nothing more than to wrap himself around her body until she was lost within him.
Let me hide you, my dear darling girl. Let me keep you here, mine.
"I don't know what I can possibly say," David started pleadingly, pitching his voice low. "Elizabeth, it was not my decision."
That may not be entirely false, but it is not entirely true.
"You made it sound like you were completely blindsided! Like there was a freak contamination or something!" Elizabeth wanted to scream at him, to burn him with her words, but she could only manage a strangled, high-pitched whisper. "But you… you fucking planned it, you purposefully exposed him to it."
"I am an android. I could not refuse the direct order of my creator."
But I could certainly revel in the direction I chose to take it.
David reached out to Elizabeth and she slapped his hands away. It irritated him; they both knew that this conflict would end in forgiveness and lust. All powerful emotions and events born on this ship brought about that conclusion. There was just too much combustible fuel between them.
"Come here," David said, ignoring Elizabeth when she shoved at his chest, scratched his face and neck. He settled her into his embrace firmly, her back against the wall, head tucked beneath his chin.
"You bastard, you fucking bastard…" Elizabeth murmured, squirming dejectedly in his hold. David did not notice her struggle, a thoughtful tone entering his voice.
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I am. But there's nothing either of us can do about it now."
_._
I fucked Charlie's murderer.
I am in love with Charlie's murderer.
God help me.
_._
The metal wall was freezing at her back and the synthetic man was very warm; the months aboard the ship had been long and so far removed from reality that Elizabeth knew she would never quite make her way back; Charlie was dead and David was wrapped so vibrantly around her. She hated him and she loved him and she could finally see all their truths, painful in their clarity, laid out before them.
David killed Charlie because he wanted to. Elizabeth ran away with David because she needed to survive. And Elizabeth needed to survive. David kissed Elizabeth that first time in the water because he wanted to. Elizabeth fucked David because she needed to feel. And Elizabeth needed to feel.
Want versus need, simulated desires and primal urges. An organized synthetic mind occupied with endless calculations, and an organic mind starved for connection.
An unholy yet symmetrical union.
There's nothing either of us can do about it now.
"Oh, God, can't you see, David?" Elizabeth whispered, finally giving up and slumping against him. "This— we— it's all so twisted. It's appalling."
And still, I love you.
She hadn't let herself think the words before. She didn't know what to do with them now.
David's arms tightened. "Twisted and appalling though this may be, it's far too late to turn back. You are mine. I am yours. That's the end of it."
Elizabeth swallowed, a nervous heat spreading through her at his words. There was something so proprietary about the way David regarded her sometimes. But to fight both him and her feelings was just too much.
She was fractured into shards. Elizabeth was undeterred from their mission, but the thread of socially-imposed morality that was knit into her being finally snapped. David was a tidal wave she was ill-equipped to receive, and Elizabeth resigned herself to his crash.
"The end of it," she echoed tonelessly. "The end."
Elizabeth tilted her head up, sought out the android's gaze. He looked into her face guardedly, expecting battle.
"I love you, David. I am so furious— but I love you, I love you, and I don't know what to do."
The android was still for a millisecond as he processed Elizabeth's words. Then a manic grin tore across his face and David crushed her to him, his mouth seeking her own, one hand reaching up to tangle in her hair and pull, Elizabeth arching her neck and exposing the smooth column of her throat to David's mouth—
"You love me." He whispered into Elizabeth's ear before burying his face in her shoulder. "Tell me again."
"I love you, David," Elizabeth choked, reaching up to cup his face in her hands and draw his mouth back to her own.
No David without Elizabeth. No Elizabeth without David.
Never.
_._
It was later than what was originally scheduled when the two returned to the bridge. David charted a course to land the ship on the deserted planet's sole island. Neither of them spoke more than was necessary. The sting of betrayal lingered between David and Elizabeth, despite their recent, heady realizations.
The ship had automated landing procedures in place; all there was left to do once they were activated was strap in and wait. Elizabeth found herself staring at her palms as the ship descended through the planet's atmosphere, overcome with anxiety and desperate hope.
I'm sorry, Charlie, Elizabeth thought, glancing over at David. I know what I'm doing to you. But you're not here to see it, and I'm stuck. In so many ways.
She traced the faint tan line left by her long-gone wedding ring. It was fading, her skin starved from sunlight all these months. Soon there would be nothing left.
A hushed, reverent whisper from the command chair. "Elizabeth— look at the skylight."
She turned her face up to the ceiling of the room and gasped.
For the first time in years, Elizabeth was looking into the clear blue sky.
A ping rang out. The ship groaned faintly before settling onto a sturdy surface, jostling the two inside the bridge.
They looked at each other in silence, waiting. Nothing happened.
David smiled. "We're here."
A/N: OH MY FUCKING GOD THESE TWO WOULD NOT LET ME GET THROUGH THIS CHAPTER. All I wanted was to get them on the ground and start exploring, yet every time I sat down to work on this chapter, we ended up here. NO MORE FUCKING AROUND, YOU TWO. Seriously sorry about that, but all of you writers know what it's like to be dragged around by your characters. Nothing to do but deal! I promise that we'll see some action here very soon.
We got a look at a burnt-out Elizabeth this chapter, which is very necessary for her character development, but don't worry. Our girl's still got plenty of fire in her.
And sorry for the longer update wait, I went on vacation and work and yadda yadda you know the drill. Thank you all so much for your patience! Leave me a review and keep checking that inbox- I'm bringing another chapter around here soon. x